The Hershey Company's Pledge For Survival! The Hershey Company celebrates Breast Cancer Awareness Month with their limited-edition Pink Collection – York^® Pink Peppermint Patties, Hershey's Nuggets^®, Hershey's Kisses^® chocolates, Hershey's chocolate syrup^®, and, for the first time, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Miniatures. This year, Hershey will contribute $300,000 to the YSC through its "Pledge for Survival" and is also the title sponsor of the YSC's annual Hershey's Tour de Pink bicycle ride, in which more than 150 riders will pedal their way from Hershey, PA, to New York City, to raise awareness and funds for young women affected by breast cancer. In addition, they are the title sponsor of YSC's annual fund raiser Hershey's In Living Pink.

Mikimoto has partnered with YSC since 2005 and, for 2008 is adding two new pink Pearls in Motion necklaces to the Everything is Possible with Hope Collection. Each pearl can be repositioned along the 18K white gold chain for a variety of different looks. In 2008, 20% of the proceeds from this collection will be donated to the YSC.

Alberto Culver, the company behind Nexxus, St. Ives and TRESemmé, will be donating $.25 to the YSC per sale of these products in October at Kmarts Nationwide. Great products, great hair, great skin all for a great cause!

Build-a-Bear Workshop, during October, join Build-A-Bear Workshop^® as they launch a special breast cancer awareness bear, Hopeful Wishes II, retailing at all Build-A Bear Workshop locations throughout the country for $25.00. For each bear sold, Build-A-Bear Workshop will donate $5.00 to breast cancer charities, including the Young Survival Coalition. For more information, visit www.buildabear.com.

Boy Meets Girl by designer Stacy Morgenstern Igel Cinch™ tops have a ribbon tightening the material to create a figure flattering, flirty look. The Cinch™ technique was created to fit all body types. It makes the waistline appear smaller and accentuates the bust line (for those a little less busty) and dehances the bust line (for those with more of bust). Since the launch of the Cinch^®, Stacy has developed a loyal following of customers. Being a co-chair for the Young Survival Coalition for Breast Cancer ILP event in 2007, she has also worked with breast cancer survivors across the country who are in love with how the Cinch® fits at their bust line. This fall, 15% of the pink bamboo Cinch^® tank will be given to the YSC.

Claudia Endler Designs is donating 50% of the proceeds from the long bar pendant Center Point collection. This necklace, featured in the Octboer 6 issue of USA Today, comes in silver with pink sapphire $225, 18k White gold with Diamond $1,400. For more information, please visit the CED website.

Downlite: America's premiere manufacturer of down and feather bedding, offers the MicroPlush Caring Wrap, a blanket specially designed to wrap around your shoulders and arms without being bulky. 5% of each Caring Wrap purchase will be donated to the YSC. Order the Caring Wrap here.

Fiddledee IDs is offering a lovely bracelet featuring pink and crystal Swarovski crystals, sterling beads and twisted rings. Adorning the bracelet is a survivor charm and a sterling ribbon charm. A beautiful way to notify others of your medical condition, the bracelet is interchangeable with any other Fiddledee ID bracelet; simply switch the bracelets for a different look. Engraving is free. 50% of the proceeds go directly to the YSC. Order the Breast Cancer Medical ID here.

ghd, a worldwide manufacturer of hair styling irons, is expanding their annual breast cancer awareness efforts to the U.S. ghd will donate$15 from each sale of its hot pink hair iron, with a minimum donation of $50,000. Last year, ghd raised over $80,000 for the YSC!

giggle, the online new parent store, is featuring the Think Pink fleece blanket. Only a blanket this stylish, healthy and eco-friendly could carry the giggle name. It's made from double-layered fleece in stylish, contemporary pink with a bold single dot pattern. But what's really special about this blanket is that it's made from recycled soda pop bottles, for the ultimate in responsible synthetics. In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, 10% of the proceeds from this product will be donated to the YSC. Purchase online.

The Good Bead's custom jewelry is designed to engage customers and raise awareness for worthy causes. The YSC will receive 5% of the sales of their "Pink Ribbon Line," which include bracelets, earrings, necklaces, a watch and cell phone strap! Check out the Best Buy/YSC promotion featured at 14 Best Buys throughout the country including: New York; Georgia; California and Florida or purchase the Pink Ribbon Line here.

Kate Aspen's Pink Ribbon Collection is the first in a series of special-edition favors designed to benefit women's health-focused charities. Year round, Kate Aspen will donate 10% of the net proceeds to the Young Survival Coalition. Who knew a favor could do so much? Purchase online at www.kateaspen.com.

Melissa Joy Manning's bright pink cobaio calcite druzy is bezel set in 14 karat yellow gold on this amazing ring. The unique texture of the stone creates the glittering effect that makes this ring so special. During Breast Cancer Awareness Month, 25% of sales on this ring will benefit YSC. Order online.

Nutra Nail, whose products are manufactured by CCA Industries, will donate 25˘ per sale of nine of Nutra Nail's Growth and Strengthening products throughout September and October. Specially-marked packages featuring photographs of women in the YSC community will be available at most drug, food and mass market retail stores. To read their powerful survivor stories and for more information, visit www.nutranail.com. Nutranail has raised well over $200,000 the last two years of our partnership allowing the YSC to reach more young women diagnosed with breast cancer!

OKA b. Shoes, for the second year, will be donating 5% of the proceeds from the sale of their Chloe and Grace styles in ballerina pink during October! Order at www.shoesthatloveyou.com.

Pink Wings is dedicated to making a difference and carries a wide variety of Breast Cancer and Pink Ribbon Awareness Products, including Awareness Pins, T-Shirts, Gifts, Hats and other great products. They will be donating 20% of all retail sales when you mention YSC in the Order Comments field during checkout. Visit their website and order today.

Pristine Recovery will be donating 10% of the net proceeds to YSC for each product we make available now and in the future. One of the main goals of Pristine Recovery is to make people more aware of potential carcinogens in cosmetics and produce products we believe are a safer choice. Therefore, we choose to give to those charities that promote awareness of safer cosmetics. Order online at the Pristine Recovery website.

Robyn Rhodes, jewelry designer, uses beads, semiprecious stones and freshwater pearls in her alluring creations, and each piece is named after someone who inspired her. Last year's beautiful pieces raised over $1,500 for the YSC. This year Robyn has created the Hope necklace, a handmade wire ribbon necklace made with cherry quartz stones, that is dedicated to the education and development of breast cancer awareness among young women, with 20 percent of the proceeds going to The Young Survival Coalition. Order from the YSC collection here.

Smashbox's limited-edition Pink Power Eye & Lip Kit, as seen in the October 20 issue of Us Weekly, includes two portable mirrored palettes, each with three gorgeous eye shadow and lip color shades, plus a mini double-ended brush. A portion of proceeds will benefit the Young Survival Coalition.

Snapfish.com, a leading online photo service, will be selling pink products during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, with 30% of the product sales going to the YSC. Order from the pink collection here.

Thank you for purchasing any and all of these wonderful items that support the YSC's vital programs and services for young women affected by and living with breast cancer. We hope you enjoy all the gifts that keep on giving back to the YSC as much as we do.

Tuesday September 30, 2008
I don't have a headache!!!!

Today I am grateful for a clean bedroom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday September 29, 2008
Hannah-ism: Part of our devotion was about parents, and their jobs.
Frank: "Do your parents have jobs?"
Hannah: "Mommy has a job being Mommy, and she gets paid by Daddy's work."

Memory Monday:
One of my favorite treats when I was little was Adams ice cream flavored gum. It came in an assortment of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. Each time we stopped to get gas I would hope that it would be the day Dean and I would get a pack.

Today I am grateful for an envelope from amazon.com.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday September 28, 2008
"Since no one is perfect, it follows that all great deeds have been accomplished out of imperfection. Yet they were accomplished, somehow, all the same."

Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday September 27, 2008
"Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest."

Today I am grateful for yogurt.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday September 26, 2008
Glucose at waking was 76 this morning. I will monitor it a few more random times and then be done with that process.

My neck and back pain is back to pre-physical therapy status. I am hoping it is just a result of what my body perceives as "trauma". It's a pattern with my health and I just don't recover well, even from minor illness. Tuesday/Wednesday were especially difficult and so my body reacted in an extreme way. The ER doctor recommended a visit to my neurologist and also a spine specialist. I'm going to wait this out and see first, though. I may bounce back fine.

Photo Friday:

click thumbnail to view full image

Today I am grateful for a first edition 1935 english cookbook.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday September 25, 2008
I still have a lingering headache and some nausea. Meds are keeping it tolerable. I did test my glucose levels this afternoon/evening. It was 89 before a meal, and 92 an hour and a half after the meal. Much better numbers, and I don't expect to see a spike anytime soon. I really believe those high readings were meds/iv related.

Today I am grateful for playing fetch with Sable.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday September 24, 2008
Wow, what a day. Or night and day I should say. After going to bed last night, my head was still throbbing and by 11:30 I started getting sick to my stomach. This lasted until 5:45am. By then, I was having major back and hip pain as well. At 6:30 this morning, Frank was taking me to the ER. Five CT scans later, and finally a pain injection, I started feeling better. I did not have a virus, it was just a reaction to high pain levels. Most of the scans came back good. However, my lumbar spine had narrowing discs which have now progressed to a degenerative disc disease. For some strange reason, my sugar was high. 262. I usually run very low numbers. They've asked me to monitor my levels for a while and see if it drops back down to my normal.

We got home around noon, and both of us went to bed to rest. At around 3pm, my headache was starting to return and I quickly took additional meds. It still hurts, but not to the degree that it was. I'm a bit nauseous tonight, but am hoping for a decent nights rest.

Today I am grateful for Frank calling out of work to be with me.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday September 23, 2008
I've had the worst headache since 5:00 this morning. I've gone through Tylenol, Tylenol Arthritis, and then this evening I took a prescription pain reliever. Nothing is touching it. My forehead hurts and the entire back part of my skull feels like it will bust. By tonight I am feeling nauseous as well.

Today I am grateful for Frank's day off.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday September 22, 2008
"Courage is the human virtue that counts most — courage to act on limited knowledge and insufficient evidence. That's all any of us have."

Memory Monday:
When we were young, we had three pet rabbits. There was one large one and two small ones. Dean chose the big one, so I get both babies. I can remember carrying them both, walking down a small slope to the backyard. My feet slipped on some rocks and I fell. I was quick to hold both of those bunnies high in the air, so that only I would take the fall. I didn't want them hurt in any way.

Today I am grateful for fall breezes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday September 21, 2008
"What we hope ever to do with ease we may learn first to do with diligence."

Today I am grateful for cozy jackets.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday September 20, 2008
I've been housebound for a week, but can honestly say today that I am on the mend. It felt nice to walk outside through the yard and take a few photos. There's something about nature that always makes me feel lighter, and happier.

Today I am grateful for stretching.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday September 19, 2008
"Nature does nothing uselessly."

Photo Friday:

click thumbnail to view full image

Today I am grateful for healing progress.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday September 18, 2008
As much as I don't like this down time, it's part of the roller coaster of my life. On a positive note, I've been down this road before. I know what my body will do and how I must treat it. Thankfully, my family is understanding. I don't have any pressure from them, and that makes everything easier to deal with.

Today I am grateful for chicken wraps.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday September 17, 2008
I've had a medical setback. I was doing well, walking daily and feeling stronger. As I mentioned about a week and a half ago, my schedule changed, and for about ten days I was "on the go" more than I am used to. It really wasn't more than an average person would do in a day, but it was beyond my own normal. When I wear down physically, my immune system practically shuts down and I have myriad side effects as a result. This time, it happened to an extreme. I've been home for three days so far.

Today I am grateful for the smell of autumn air.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday September 16, 2008
I spoke with Doctor Stefanini and I've been given the "clearance" to move to three year scheduling of my colonoscopy and egd. It's been a yearly plan for me, and I'm happy to be in a place where there doesn't appear to be a health issue that would require those yearly tests.

For those of you with a family history of cancer and anyone over fifty, please get a complete colonoscopy. I had a precancerous polyp that was removed with no side effects. I was just short of my 41st birthday. Had I waited, I would have developed colon cancer, and the scenario would be very different.

Please be diligent. Please take personal responsibility for your health. I do truly believe that God has a plan for each of us, but I think he wants us to "do our part".

As I've counseled many individuals before...you may think that the worst thing you will hear is that you have cancer. There IS something worse, though. Hearing you have cancer and knowing you could have caught it earlier, possibly making the difference between life and death.

Today I am grateful for a bit more freedom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday September 15, 2008
The girls have been assigned to their soccer teams. This year, Abigail moves to the U12 league. Her team is "Fire" and our neighbor happens to be her coach this year! Hannah is now in U8, on the "Cobras" team. We've known Coach Alicia for many years, and it will be fun playing on her team.

Memory Monday:
When we were young, my brother Dean got a white plastic "hard hat" for Christmas. He loved wearing it and playing outside. On it, in blue magic marker, he wrote his self-given nickname-- "big daddy dirt pile". That still makes me smile.

Today I am grateful for homework passes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday September 14, 2008
It's our 31st Homecoming today. It seems hard to believe how fast those years have passed. Our Church is truly blessed.

Today I am grateful for enthusiasm.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday September 13, 2008
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."

Today I am grateful for giggling girl sleepovers.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday September 12, 2008
As announced, "Photo Friday" is here. I am an amateur photographer, but it truly is a passion of mine. My primary focus is nature. I am fascinated by the beauty around me. Each Friday I will have my normal entry followed by this new feature. The initial thumbnail image you see will be only a hint, a clip of the full image. Simply click the small image to see the full photo. This first shot took my breath away.

Photo Friday:

click thumbnail to view full image

Today I am grateful for nature's awesome gifts.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday September 11, 2008
Our revamped website has just gone live:
Calvary Baptist Chapel
In addition to a whole new look, we've added a study link where you can view video sermons.

I'm honored to say that my Pastor is also my father. I'm so proud of all that you are, Dad.

Today I am grateful for a father's example.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday September 10, 2008
Only one more week and it's SOCCER SEASON for the girls!!
From the archives, my favorite soccer picture.

Today I am grateful for a productive day on a special project.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday September 9, 2008
In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

Today I am grateful for all day rain.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday September 8, 2008
I have taken my girls health, especially their eating habits, very seriously since the time they moved to "real" foods. I believe it's my responsibility to teach them to make healthy choices. Our conversations are always about health and what's good for their bodies, and never about weight or appearance.

Hannah-ism:   In the car, after school...
Hannah: "I accidentally got the regular milk at school instead of skim in the purple carton. It tasted bad, so I didn't drink it."

She hasn't had whole milk since she was a year old. To her, it tastes thick and sweet. That's my girl.

Memory Monday:
When I was in first grade, our teacher had us put bags out for Valentines. They were taped all around the perimeter of the room, and our names written on hearts and glued onto the front. We would walk around and drop valentine cards into each bag. One morning, as I was standing with a couple of girls, a classmate walked around the room placing cards in each bag. A blue eyed blonde, Larry stopped momentarily at my bag...and in addition to a card, he gave me a small heart shaped box of candy. I will never forget how excited I felt seeing him give me something special.

Today I am grateful for thunder at just the right time.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday September 7, 2008
"Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching."

Today I am grateful for laughter with dad.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday September 6, 2008
"Goals. There's no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There's no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there's no telling what will happen when you act upon them."

Today I am grateful for memory foam.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday September 5, 2008
Yesterday I didn't walk. Today, at fifteen minutes, I just couldn't go further. I won't push myself beyond reasonable limits. My body speaks to me and I listen. I've been on overload recently, and it has set me back temporarily. I did go out this evening and weed the front beds.

Although I don't have the endurance, my flexibility and balance has improved dramatically since I started the daily stretches about nine weeks ago. At last, I can touch my toes again. It does hurt the back of my legs and lower back, but not to the point of injury. I've gained about 4-6" in my range of motion. I'm doing some yoga and strength training on the wii fit, but not daily. I did get in 15 minutes yesterday, however.

Photo Friday:
You probably know by now that I love photography, especially nature shots. I would like to start sharing some of my favorites here. By sheer coincidence, and after already planning to start these postings, I did get a camera upgrade. I'll now be shooting with an Olympus Stylus 1010. All of my images will be raw...so you will see what I see. No photoshop or editing will be done, other than cropping. I hope you will enjoy this addition to the site.
(And now I have a week to learn the new camera...)

Today I am grateful for the emotion of imagery.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday September 4, 2008
The last five days have been packed full of a bit too much...and my body is surely letting me know about it. I've got another busy week ahead, and the fibromyalgia is definitely flaring up. More than anything, I do not function well if I don't have at least two (prefer three) "stay at home" days each week.

Today I am grateful for the cool evening breeze.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday September 3, 2008
"A man who never quits is never defeated."

Today I am grateful for new purple blooms.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday September 2, 2008
"Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it."

Today I am grateful for polished river stones.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday September 1, 2008
It's All Abigail:
Abigail has begun sewing on her machine more often. She's made skirts without assistance and seems to have a real knack for it. As you know, Hannah's best pal is "sleepy bear". For one of Abigail's first projects (before she learned to do inside seams), she decided to make this for her sister. Now sleepy bear has a sleeping bag (including a hand appliqued heart) AND his own little bear to sleep with.

Memory Monday:
I've been watching some video from my childhood. There's some great clips of "Pop", my dad's father, who passed away when I was in high school. I remember spending time with him, those coal mining eyes, and how he wore his cap off to the side. I would give anything for him to have known my daughters, and them to have the privilege of being loved by him.

Today I am grateful for preserved memories.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday August 31, 2008
How did I get myself into this?

Today I am grateful for eager children.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday August 30, 2008
Hurricane Gustav, on a path headed toward New Orleans. Surely they won't be hit again....

Today I am grateful for blackberries.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday August 29, 2008
"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best."

Today I am grateful for silence.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday August 28, 2008
So, I am almost at the 60 day mark for daily walking. I walk seven days a week, and have only missed one day. (My arch had begun to bother me for a few days and I chose a rest day). I've past two months of daily stretching, and continue with the chi machine every day. I did complete a 30 minute wii fit yoga/strength training work out last week, and although tiring, was a great experience.

There is no doubt that my body is stronger and I feel better. I don't dictate to myself a particular time of day to do any of it, and it now feels like just another part of my routine, rather than an "I have to..." sort of thing.

Today I am grateful for tea.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday August 27, 2008
"The best antidote I have found is to yearn for something. As long as you yearn, you can't congeal: There is a forward motion to yearning."

Today I am grateful for opportunity and optimism.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday August 26, 2008
≈ i am content ≈

Today I am grateful for freshly planted mums.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday August 25, 2008
Mom is feeling better. My thanks to all of you who have prayed and sent emails. She still has many issues to deal with, but there is no comparison to where she was this time last week.

Memory Monday:
Whenever I had a bad dream, I did what most kids do in the same situation-- I went straight to Mom and Dad's bed. I can clearly remember one time in particular when I had climbed in bed and drifted back to sleep. For some reason, I stirred awake, and felt the presence of my mom on one side and my dad on the other. In that moment, I felt safe and protected.

Today I am grateful for a special trip to Lowe's with Dad.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday August 24, 2008
School started Thursday, and the students were on early release both that day and Friday. Their normal school week starts tomorrow. Hannah is now is second grade, and Abigail in fifth. This is the last year they will be in the same school until Abigail is a senior in high school!
All ready to go, and smiling.

Today I am grateful for SOL scores.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday August 23, 2008
It's All Abigail:
Abigail: "When I go to middle school next year, I want to try out for tennis."
Me: "Tennis is a great sport."
Abigail: "I know you used to play it. It's fun. If not, then volleyball."
Hannah: "Oh good! If you play tennis, we have those racquets we can play with!"
Abigail: "Hannah, that's not tennis, that's bird!!!"
Me: "Uh...Puff....it's called badminton."
(lots of laughter)
Me: "Bird is birdie, the thing you hit."
Abigail: "Our birdie doesn't have the red head on it."

Today I am grateful for music.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday August 22, 2008
Mom came home!!!
Praying that she can have a restful night at home...

Today I am grateful for knowing Mom is next door.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday August 21, 2008
Thank the Lord for prayer. Mom rested last night, and by late afternoon she was well enough that I took the girls down for a surprise hospital visit.

Today I am grateful for a comfortable hospital bed.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday August 20, 2008
It's been a roller coaster of a day filled with tests and waiting, and Mom is still hospitalized. By tonight there are some partial answers, or at least some conditions ruled out. Tomorrow is another day of testing, another day of prayer...

Today I am grateful for little girl prayers for Golday.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday August 19, 2008
Mom went to the emergency room this morning, and was admitted to the hospital. On a positive note, they are being very attentive to her situation, and thorough with the testing/diagnostic process. Hopefully we'll have some answers tomorrow.

Today I am grateful for CVMC's ER staff.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday August 18, 2008
Please pray for my Mom. I love her very much...and feel so helpless.

Memory Monday:
Mom is the only thing on my mind recently.
How cute is she?

Today I am grateful for hammock fun and silly faces with Abigail.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday August 17, 2008
A peek back at our vacation....
Swimming right over our heads at the Aquarium.

Today I am grateful for youth church laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday August 16, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Frank and the girls were leaving Staples--
Hannah: (bending down to pick up something) "I found a penny!!"
Abigail: "What was it on?!" (clearly meaning heads or tails)
Hannah: "The floor."

Today I am grateful for wildberry pancakes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday August 15, 2008
"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late."

Today I am grateful for surprises and sale shopping.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday August 14, 2008
The Sun~
The Fool wakes at dawn from his long, restless night to find that the wild river has, at last, come to an end, quietly floating him into a serene pool. There is a walled garden around this pond dominated by roses, lilies and splendid, nodding sunflowers. Stepping ashore, he watches the Sun rise overhead, bright and golden. The day is clear. A child's laughter attracts his attention and he sees a little boy ride a small white pony into the garden.

"Come!" says the little boy, leaping off the horse and running up to him. "Come see!" And the child proceeds to take the Fool's hand and enthusiastically point out all manner of things, the busy insects in the grass, the seeds and petals on the sunflowers, the way the light sparkles on the pond. He asks questions of the Fool, simple but profound ones, like "Why is the sky blue?" He sings songs, and plays games with the Fool.

At one point the Fool stops, blinking up at the Sun so large and golden overhead, and he finds himself smiling, wider and brighter than he has in a very long time. Since he started on this spiritual journey, he has been tested and tried, confused and scared, dismayed and amazed. But this is the first time that he has been simply and purely happy. His mind feels illuminated, his soul light and bright as a sunbeam. Like the great Sun itself, this child with his simple questions, games and songs, has helped the Fool see the world and himself anew, to wonder at and appreciate both. "Who are you?" the Fool asks the child at last. The child smiles at this and seems to shine. And then he grows brighter and brighter until he turns into pure sunlight. "I'm You," the boy's voice says throughout the garden, "The new you." And as the words fill the Fool with warmth and energy, he comes to realize that this garden, the sun above, the child, all exist within him. He has just met his own inner light.

Today I am grateful for sunflowers.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday August 13, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Watching the Olympics...
Hannah: "If I do that, I could do the swimming part."
Me: "Yeah?"
Hannah: "But it needs to be three feet, so I can stop and touch the bottom a few times."

Today I am grateful for loud, rolling thunder.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday August 12, 2008
"Without weakness, there can be no strength. It wouldn't exist."

Today I am grateful for Dr. Deel, our very special veterinarian.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday August 11, 2008
Mom has saved many "special" things over the years, and recently we have been looking through it. I love it all- be it my youngest brothers favorite hat, or the gift her father gave her before she came to the States. The memories that each item holds is so special. I could look and touch for hours...

Memory Monday:
I was born in England in 1963. My brother Dean followed in 1964. In 1965, I earned my wings. It's from the BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corporation) and was given to me for flying...when we moved to the States. I'm thrilled to have this pin.

Today I am grateful for Mom and memories.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday August 10, 2008
We've just started copying some of our most important vhs tapes to dvd. Up first, our wedding video from May 21, 1996. This was the first time Frank and I had watched it in several years.

My Dad performed the ceremony. It was a small wedding, with only family members attending and two close friends. There were sixteen adults, excluding Frank and myself, and eight children. Most everyone looks so different, but of course it was taken twelve years ago. Of the children there, one is now married herself. Sadly, three adults present have now passed away.

Little did we know about what the future would hold for us.

What fun to relive that day, and realize how I love him now more than ever....

Today I am grateful for seeing Mom-maw, Carolyn (B-Nana), and Betty again, if only by video.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday August 9, 2008
"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up."

Today I am grateful for Connie's visits to my inbox.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday August 8, 2008
2009 Breast Cancer 3-Day Schedule Announced!!

Boston July 24-26
Cleveland July 31 - August 2
Chicago August 7-9
Michigan August 14-16
Twin Cities August 21-23
Denver August 28-30
Washington, DC September 11-13
Seattle October 2-4
San Francisco Bay Area October 9-11
Philadelphia October 16-18
Atlanta October 23-25
Tampa Bay October 30 - November 1
Dallas/Fort Worth November 6-8
Arizona November 13-15
San Diego November 20-22

Today I am grateful for the event that stole my heart, seven years ago.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday August 7, 2008
Hannah-ism:   The girls and I walked over to Mom's house.
Hannah: (just stepping in the door, she pauses, then sighs) "I love Golday's house."
Me: "I do, too."
Hannah: "I think it's because Golday is in it."

Today I am grateful for Golday love.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday August 6, 2008
Sometimes lifes colors are really fun....like my driveway, compliments of Abigail.

Today I am grateful for chalk and creativity.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday August 5, 2008
Those Born 1930-1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930s, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets--not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes. We had no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms........ WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

Today I am grateful for the "good 'ole days"
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday August 4, 2008
While on my daily walk, today I noticed I was looking down. I saw cracked, dry earth. When I looked up and ahead, a yellow butterfly fluttered by. I think there's some great symbolism there.

Memory Monday:
My brother Dean on the left, I'm on the far right.
Go Little Slugger!

Today I am grateful for the butterflies ahead.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday August 3, 2008
How many stanzas in the springtime breeze?
How plenty the raindrops? As He doth please.
There is no meter and there is no rhyme,
Yet God's poems always read in perfect time.

Today I am grateful for tea for two.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday August 2, 2008
Stripey, our betta, is sick. Kelle bought him for the girls about a year ago, but I've grown quite attached to him. It bothers me, wondering if he is feeling pain. I'm doing everything I can for him to get better.

Today I am grateful for the simple beauty of a red and blue fish.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday August 1, 2008
"We have to fight them daily, like fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for they sap our energies."

Today I am grateful for not sweating the small stuff.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday July 31, 2008
Just a physical update:
I've made my goal of walking thirty minutes each day. It was a gradual process, starting with a very short distance and only seven minutes or so. I've now walked 23 days straight, including during the overnight trip to visit Frank's family, and today in the rain with an umbrella. My only intention for daily walking continues to be thirty minutes, and I will not try to increase that time, but only the pace.

The twelve stretches I started one month ago have improved my flexibility, and I continue to do those every day as well. I am enjoying the chi machine daily, and have worked up to twelve minutes. Sixteen minutes is the ideal goal.

Although I am not pain free or without limitations, I can easily say that I am stronger today than I was one month ago.

Today I am grateful for feeling a little more confident with my body.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday July 30, 2008
We love Grandma!

Today I am grateful for family visits.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday July 29, 2008
"All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without the benefit of experience."

Today I am grateful for fresh bamboo.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday July 28, 2008
It's All Abigail:   As we were walking outside today, we heard four or five gunshots.
Abigail: "What was that??"
Me: "I think it was someone shooting a gun."
Abigail: "Poor deer."
Me: "They may not be deer hunting."
Abigail: "Poor bears."
Me: "No, I meant they may be shooting targets."
Abigail: (snickering) "Poor targets."

Memory Monday:
When we were little, I remember Dean and I would always try to get the truck drivers to blow their horns for us as we passed them in the car. We gave them the hand signal, and most of them obliged. We loved doing that! One driver was behind us, and we knelt in the back seat facing him (back in the day, no seat belt laws). We pretended to be shooting him and he took out his handkerchief and wiped his forehead. It was a thrill for us that he played along.

Today I am grateful for cozy old t-shirts.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday July 27, 2008
In addition to seeing Drew on this trip, I was able to see "Mom" as well as Frank's two sisters. The girls were happy to see their cousins again. We had breakfast together and spent some time at Drew's home. I took a walk and enjoyed new sights. The kids wanted to swim, so Frank took Abigail, Hannah, and three of their boy cousins to the hotel pool. That gave me time to rest in the suite and enjoy a cup of tea.

We all enjoyed a late meal in the afternoon, said our good-byes and got back on the road. It was only a 24hr visit, but it was good to connect with everyone again.

The trip home was a bit much for my body but I am hoping to bounce back quicker than I did a month ago on vacation.

Today I am grateful for rose gardens and radio cake.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday July 26, 2008
I have been unable to visit my mother-in-law for just over a year. (Frank has made trips with the girls) She lives about three hours away, but the last hour is very mountainous. Frank's brother Drew lives two hours from us, in Charleston. It's also all interstate driving, and with the shorter travel time, we arranged a trip to meet most of the family there.

We arrived before five, and settled into a beautiful suite. Between the spaciousness of the rooms, the Marriott bedding, and bringing my own tea, it was a perfectly restful environment.

Hannah-ism:   As we were looking around, Hannah went into the master bathroom.
Hannah: "There's this thing in the bathroom! It looks like a toilet but with a sink in it!!"

So, yes, we had a bidet. And I did casually explain what it was. For fear of future embarrassment, I won't describe her eagerness to try it out.    :snicker:

Within minutes, a gentleman arrived delivering a platter of assorted soft cookies and milk. The girls were "living large", as they would say, sitting in their own beds eating cookies and drinking milk from stemmed glassware. When they thought it couldn't get any better, someone delivered cashews, truffles, and yogurt pretzels. Needless to say, they went to sleep watching cartoons and smiling.

Today I am grateful for sitting and talking with mom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday July 25, 2008
"Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn more being fascinated by life than you will by being frustrated by it."

Today I am grateful for a thirty minute walk.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday July 24, 2008
Hannah-ism:   There is a series of steps in the Church Youth building that kids are constantly trying to jump down, skipping as many as possible. Of course this is completely against the leaders' rules, but they try to sneak and do it anyway.
Hannah: "(boy name) and (boy name) jump all the way to the bottom!"
Me: "That's dangerous, someone could break a leg or something."
Hannah: "I don't jump that far, because I don't want to crack my head."
Me: "Good for you."
Hannah: brief pause-- "You know how boys are..."

Today I am grateful for clear spaces.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday July 23, 2008
(continued from Sunday July 20)

I've been told by a certain someone that I live the American Dream. In many ways, that's true. She also says that I am an expert at adaptation, and at knowing myself. I humbly take this as a compliment. This is part of the amazing color of my life.

God has blessed our family in many, many ways.
I am the mother of two beautiful, healthy children.
I am married to a man who loves me unconditionally, and would give his life for me.
I live next door to my parents, and our relationship could not be any better.
I do not work outside of the home.
My Pastor is also my Dad, and I love my Church.
I live in my dream home, primarily built by my dad. I love it as much as I did five years ago when we moved in.

Here's where the color becomes even more vibrant...
I am settled into a place in my life where simplicity is beauty. Nature takes my breath away. I awake to birds singing outside my window, and chimes blowing in the breeze. A few days ago, the view outside my bedroom window included a red-headed woodpecker. As I sit in the living room, hummingbirds visit all day long. There's one sitting on the hook as I type these words. A few steps outside my door, I can feed my pond fish and watch them eagerly eat. Following that, I turn to see the yellow finches on the feeder.

When we move into fall, I will long for the color of the leaves, the beauty of the log as it is placed into my fireplace, and the scent of a wonderful candle.

This beauty is everywhere. I take the time to see it. It moves me. I make an honest effort to take none of it for granted. Nothing can be so important that I can't take time to literally smell the roses. Earlier today, a heavy rain moved through, and the sound and smell were soothingly intoxicating.

Did this beauty just arrive? No, of course not. You have to make a choice to really see it. Did I see it before cancer? Yes, I believe I did. But something about facing the possibility of death makes it that much more important.

If you knew that the next rain was the last you would see, would you stand out in it?
If those birdsongs were the last you were going to hear, would you try to memorize every note?
If the moss was the last time you would see that brilliant shade of green, would you stop and look a little longer?
If that breeze was the last one that would kiss your cheek, would you stop, close your eyes, and really feel it?
If that little girl giggle was the last time she laughed that way, would you remember what it sounds like?

Our great God has given us beauty in the most simple places. Take time to enjoy them.

What are those moments that take your breath away? A dream car? A large salary increase? The perfect house in the perfect neighborhood? In the end, the "stuff" doesn't matter. Being at peace is everything.

What takes my breath away? The beautiful pink moth...and so much more.

Today I am grateful for the privilege of life.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday July 22, 2008
I'm getting stronger.
My muscles are starting to release some.
As of today, I have walked fourteen days straight. (I hadn't walked in months) I'm up to fifteen minutes, with a goal of thirty. The Church parking lot turns out to be a great place to walk. Physically, it's paved but not a flat surface. The are some inclines and different grades, which is better for my muscles. Spiritually, walking around the buildings and seeing the property puts me in a good place.

I'm continuing to stretch every day, and I can see an improvement in my range of motion. I do also believe the chi machine has helped. I am feeling very encouraged about my progress....and I consider that "bonus color" in my life.

Today I am grateful for a morning walk.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday July 21, 2008
"I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in."

The timing could not be more perfect.... this is part of the amazing color of my life.

Memory Monday:
On Edgewater Drive, two houses down, lived Donnie and Bo. Dean and I would play with them all of the time. In first grade, somehow we decided I was going to marry Bo, and Donnie was going to be the preacher. I remember being so excited, I told my teacher that I was getting married after school. Mrs. Wampler acted like she very happy for me, and took time to ask for details about the wedding. And yes, after school we did have the ceremony. But no kiss. :)

Today I am grateful for silence.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday July 20, 2008
(continued from Thursday July 17)

Duality...let's get the bad and ugly out first.

I am certain that this entry will take hours, so I have started writing today after church. I will have to write, then stop. Take breaks, think, relive....walk away and come back. It's now 1pm.

Before my diagnosis, I was healthy by most standards. Remarkably, I had never broken a bone, required a stitch, or even had my tonsils removed. I had spent only one night in the hospital my entire life before having my first child. I guess that's a very good track record.

Let me be clear going in...no two cancer patients are alike. We have the same bond, linked by a disease, and there is much that only "we" can understand. There is a look that one survivor can give to another...a look in their eyes that mirrors your own. We speak the same dialogue, the medical terms, the tests, the familiarity of it all. But yet, we are different. From age, gender, genetics to chemotherapy protocols and surgeries. Our own bodies reactions to even the most similar of situations can be polar opposite of one another.

Life after chemo. For me. Not for my neighbor, my friend, my family member, or anyone else. I can only speak to my own experience. There is only one Lance Armstrong. He is not the "average" survivor. I don't think that average can really be defined in this case. From the survivor who comes back after treatment stronger than before to the many that have been unable to even survive the disease, the spectrum is broad. What I do know is there is a large number of survivors who need special care, and the medical community is slowly coming to realize that we need help. Some oncologists (thankfully not my own) give a final treatment, a pat on the back, pronounce remission, and send a patient on their way. Who steps in for follow up care? That's a discussion in itself, for another time.

How much genetics factor into my current situation, I cannot say. If there, indeed chemotherapy hastened their onset or increased their severity. Here is where I sit, staring at the computer screen. I don't like seeing the black and white of it all. The list of "what's wrong"..the information I am about to disclose...I will stall here. Why? Because the black and white looks grim. It's ugly. It's a lot of bad stuff. I'm only 44 years old. It's not supposed to be this way, in an ideal world. Written or not, it exists. I would prefer to move on to the many colors of my life, but before I color the page, I must have the outline. Without that, you cannot see the picture in its entirety. Perhaps I might add that the colors are even brighter against the contrast of the black. There's more impact. And the bottom line is this: IT IS REAL.

I was a 37 year old female, six weeks pregnant, with hormone negative, highly aggressive breast cancer. Almost stage 3, with some lymphatic invasion (but initially negative nodes), I was told I was at a high risk for recurrence. I took nine rounds of chemo-- four while I was pregnant and five after I had Hannah. The first treatments needed to conclude in time for me to be strong enough to deliver and lower risks where we could. For that reason, I took higher doses of two drugs than normal. Six treatments worth of medications were basically condensed into four. I agreed with my oncologist that the treatment would need to be aggressive. The last five rounds included additional medications. I took a total of five different cancer drugs in treatment, and more than that to fight the various side effects along the way.

Where am I now? I'll just make a list. There really is no "pretty-ing up" this part and I find it difficult to continue typing. It's not a denial of reality...the difficulty comes in having the words stare back at me. While I spend my life trying not to focus on these things, I have to acknowledge they exist.

This is the black and white ME:

Chemotherapy left me sterilized.
I have osteoporosis. My bones are about 15 years older than my actual years.
I have arthritis in all major joints of my skeleton.
I suffer from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.
I have a chronic pain condition.
I have a bulging disk in my neck, slight curvature of the spine, and narrowing discs.
I ended up requiring a hysterectomy and am now post menopausal.
I developed vertigo.
I have neuropathy--arms and legs, primarily left side.
My stomach is highly intolerant.
My left arm is limited due to lymphedema.
I require medication to sleep.
I have low blood sugar.
My immune system is compromised.

How does this affect my daily life?
A big part of my lifestyle changes have been in place long enough that they are normal to me. It's a routine that I am accustomed to, but not one that is normal for someone of my age or a mother of two elementary aged children. Abigail was three when I was diagnosed and Hannah was born during treatment. Their "normal" is only what they know. I'm the only Mom they've had, and they don't think twice when medications, tests, or doctor appointments are discussed. It's a non-issue for them, and everything is handled in a very casual way. For that, I am grateful.

In my day to day schedule, the mornings are usually best for me. This summer I have not had to get up for school, and it has made a huge difference in how I feel. I committed to staying in bed til 8:30, even if awake and resting, praying, meditating, enjoying the view from my bedroom window. I try to avoid having evening appointments and back to back days where I have to leave the house. I really need at least two days a week to just stay home and do a bit of work around the house and relax as well. If I am out, I know that I have until about 3pm before I start to fade. Sometimes it hits me hard and fast...and at those times I stop shopping and check out, regardless of whether my list is complete or not. If I could will myself to immediately be in my house, I would. I never fully commit to activities, especially in the evenings. I deal with varying levels of pain. I've learned coping techniques, including distraction and a form of meditation. I've learned to "embrace" certain degrees of pain. Sometimes I talk to it. "Hey, if you are going to hang around today, regardless of what I do, I might as well take you outside and enjoy the pond instead of staying inside with you." At other times, I must take pain medication, as there is no other solution. I am careful walking down stairs, and I rarely run. Between vertigo and osteoporosis, I could easily fall and be in trouble. It's not overcompensation, just common sense. I am careful not to lift too heavy or do any activity too long. I walk a fine line of too little and too much. Doing too little will only cause my conditions to worsen and doing too much can have the same effect. By now I am very in touch with my body, and I listen when it speaks to me.

On a bad day, I might wake up feeling almost paralyzed by fatigue and widespread muscle pain from fibromyalgia. I am aware of every part of my body, and it all has a deep ache. It doesn't feel like a muscle soreness from overworking, but more like that ache of someone with the flu but intensified. It can be so intense that it distracts from everything. It's difficult to focus on anything at all, because the muscles scream..and the fatigue feels like a weight around my neck. Those are the days that appointments, if any, will be canceled. My body demands some rest and relief.

When I am out, I carry some sort of food/snack with me. I am a grazer....and I have to keep my sugar levels as stable as possible. At restaurants, it's very difficult to find a food that I can tolerate. I am meticulous in asking item ingredients, and especially how food is seasoned and cooked. At best, I can find a non-seasoned grilled chicken breast. I have carried sandwiches from home to buffet banquets, because I am safe with my own food. I don't mind doing it, but those around me seem disturbed. I would prefer they just act like my food is the same as theirs and not comment. I never know what food may trigger a flare-up, but I do revisit a food more than once to see if it's something I can tolerate. On the worst flare-ups, I have no choice but to ride them out. Sometimes it's a day. Sometimes five. Those days are long, and I watch the clock, eager for bed time and another day closer to feeling better. It's the only time I ever "wish" time away.

When my children are out and want to ride rides, climb open stairs, get on an escalator, walk on a dock, or get in a boat, I try to avoid the situation and be the "picture taker" or Frank steps in casually to take over. On vacation, I looked past the rides they were on, so I wouldn't have the vertigo really get me. When that happens, it feels as though my eyes are going to roll in the back of my head, and I am going to fall backwards. They don't know that Mommy isn't looking right at them. I don't ever want to teach them fear, and I do protect them from certain truths about myself. They are children, and they don't need adult size burdens. When we were in the Aquarium, there was a very slow moving belt everyone stood on to view the tanks. I casually walked along the side and "took pictures". Frank is my support, my back up. He understands. If I go to a darkened movie theatre with lit steps, he knows to hold my hand tight and I just walk looking down. Flashing lights are avoided at all costs.

I avoid repetitive motion with my left arm so that I don't lose the feeling down to my fingers. I make sure I don't look down or up for extended periods of time so my neck won't hurt as much. I always sit with a pillow behind my back to support my posture correctly. If I bend or sit, I do so slowly. I don't overextend.

So, that's it....an overview of my life. The ugly. A sampling of "the bad stuff". I will never be whole again, and I have come to an acceptance of that. I live with pain and fatigue. My responsibility is to manage the best I can, take personal responsibility for what I can control, and keep the faith. I'll never stop believing.

I'll color this picture for you this week.

Today I am grateful for "completing the outline".
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday July 19, 2008


Today I am grateful for physical progress.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday July 18, 2008
"Time is the wisest counsellor."

Today I am grateful for Poppy work days.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday July 17, 2008
(continued from Saturday July 12)

Back to the duality of my life...

First, I have to go back in time. I've been blogging since 2001. That term wasn't widely used back then, in the days when blogspot and other user friendly, "no html knowledge required" sites were just cropping up. Initially this site was a training journal, but as interest grew, I started posting every day, including sharing my life's experiences--the good, the bad, the ugly, and yes, the laughter, too. I have invited the entire world to observe my life, through the written word. It is indeed a commitment to post daily, long term. Not a lot of blogs remain active beyond a year or so, or the postings become less and less frequent. (I don't blame them...life changes, and you make choices) I have every intention to continue writing. I cannot imagine a time when I wouldn't have this place to come and just talk.

Pink Ribbon Miracle started as a breast cancer themed site. It's my story of my own experience with the disease, advocacy, fund raising, and life in remission. I've shared the many times the doctors have thought I had relapsed, and the blessings of getting another "all clear". Breast cancer will always be a part of my life. As time passes, many thoughts enter my mind. Do I write about breast cancer as often as I used to? Should I write about it as often? Do I share the continual trials I face? Do I step away from the cancer and share the days that are "just days"? Do I get down and real...and tell you more about the downside of this life? If I do so, will it scare you? Will it depress you? Will it educate you? Or will it perhaps inspire you?

So, you see, it's a fine line I walk. I am as passionate about breast cancer advocacy as I was seven years ago. A personal story will still bring me to tears. Every time I hear of another diagnosis, I feel that punch in the gut. It doesn't go away. I haven't turned my back on the cause, nor will I ever.

It is difficult to decide how much I give...that last thing I would want is pity, or be perceived as complaining with a negative attitude. That's not how I live my life. Sometimes I think writing about the "bad parts" ends up giving those bad places more energy than they deserve. I have to live with it...do I want to also write about it? Wouldn't I rather write about that beautiful hummingbird outside my window? Or another wonderful quote I've found?

Hence the duality....and for me to be real, I need to share both. More to come.

Today I am grateful for inner peace.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday July 16, 2008
"In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet."

Today I am grateful for inspirational emails.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday July 15, 2008
My new issue of Heal magazine came today. I've mentioned this publication before. Finally there is a movement in place to address survivor care. Heal has been, and will continue to be, an amazing resource for me. Many survivors feel alone and misunderstood. The outside world assumes that once we have finished treatment, our lives go back to normal. For too long, the truth for many of us has been swept under the rug...kept quiet so as not to scare the newly diagnosed, kept quiet because "at least we are alive". In reality, my life was changed forever. I have learned to deal with my "new normal", but it's time that we be more outspoken about our trials, and the care that we need.

Today I am grateful for a walk around the Church parking lot.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday July 14, 2008
After a long battle with cancer, my neighbor of many years has passed away. I was with her on her deck just a month ago, and as she sat with little hair at all on her head, I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I had seen. And I told her exactly that. I'm glad I did. We will miss you, Margaret.

Memory Monday:
Memory Monday is usually a happy memory, but the events of today have led me to recall the death of my grandfather. I was in tenth grade, and I had not experienced death in our family. My Dad has only one sibling, and my grandparents on both sides of my family were all in fairly good health. Mom's family is in England, and I don't see them often.

Pop had a heart attack (it wasn't his first), while out fishing. I can clearly remember sitting on their front porch swing, after the funeral, and the hole I felt in my heart was incomprehensible. Pop, I still miss you...and I would give anything if my daughters could have known you.

Today I am grateful for Pop's coal mining hands.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday July 13, 2008
I don't remember the last time I left the house after 5pm, other than to walk next door to Mom's, or go out in the yard. The pain and fatigue was overwhelming and by evening I was spent. Since I had started stretching and walking, it was my goal, and my prayer, to make tonight's Church service. It was actually my goal last week. Not only did I NOT make the evening service, I was hit so hard that morning that I didn't even leave the bed until 10:15am. I missed the entire day. It was a huge disappointment, so this week was really important to me. I had asked Dad and a couple others to pray around 5pm...that I would have the energy to just get out the door.

Tonight, I made it back to Church. Not just the usual morning services, but the evening as well. This is a huge accomplishment after being down for so long, and although I am in pain now--my heart is much lighter.

Today I am grateful for answered prayer.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday July 12, 2008
I have had so many thoughts running through my head this past week, and many things I want to share here. The central theme is the duality of my life, and the extremes of experience related to that. To begin, I want to go back to just about a year ago. I was in the midst of continual illness and infections with no answers. This is what I composed one day, while just free flow writing my thoughts. I left it entirely unedited, to preserve the purity of my thoughts.

I see you running down the front steps.
I wonder if you think that you may fall.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I see you walk up the slight incline of 100 yards.
I wonder if you think that you may not make it.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I see you lift the box.
I wonder if you think that it may hurt you.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I see you dance in a circle with your child.
I wonder if you think that you may get dizzy.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I see you eating your meal.
I wonder if you think you may be sick.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I see you working in the sun.
I wonder if you think you may pass out.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I walk outside and the breeze touches my face.
I smile.
I wonder if you notice it at all.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I see the hummingbird eagerly drinking.
I smile.
I wonder if you notice it at all.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I hear the leaves as the wind kisses the trees.
I smile.
I wonder if you notice it at all.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

I smell the cool crisp air.
I smile.
I wonder if you notice it at all.

I bet you don't.
It's ok.
Neither did I.
BEFORE.

Today I am grateful for ceiling fans.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday July 11, 2008
Thanks Connie, my friend.

Today I am grateful for the ability to stretch and walk.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday July 10, 2008
Part three of my plan is now in place. I've added the use of a chi machine to my routine. After a lot of research I am using it on a trial basis. Although I do not participate in eastern religion, I do believe that there is merit to a lot of eastern medicine. This is not a substitute for exercise, or a weight loss enhancement...it's for body oxygenation and much more.

Today I am grateful for a french lavender and flax seed eye pillow.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday July 9, 2008
I've always felt a strong sense of personal responsibility toward my own health--both in taking proper care of my body and making sure I am my own advocate with my medical care. I started walking today in addition to the stretches. I need to get my muscle tone back, and core strength to support my spine, especially with my particular health situation (bulging disc, narrowing discs, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia and arthritis).

I can't tell you the distance I walked, because I don't know. I do not want to know. That's by design. In the past, my walking programs have been for training...distance walking to prepare me for a specific event. Walking for hours, pushing for the five mile mark, then ten, then more. Now I only have a goal of walking 30 minutes per day. I'm far from that now, but am more than glad that I have started. I walked to the Church steps and back--maybe about seven to eight minutes. There's a very slight incline and I was a bit breathless.

Today I am grateful for a successful walk.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday July 8, 2008
I've started some very basic stretching to help ease some of the pain. Right now I am very tight and the stretches do hurt. I know in time it will get easier.

Today I am grateful for moving again, even if slowly.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday July 7, 2008
Last night I slept fairly well. Finally, I rested. This morning I awoke feeling better. Not 100%, not close to it, but encouraged.

Memory Monday:
Our house was sometimes cold in the winters. We had a coal stove in a small kitchen. Mom was always thinking of us... and she would warm our clothes on the open oven door so we wouldn't feel the cold when getting ready for school. I can still feel those toasty clothes and I love my Mom for caring enough to do that for us.

Today I am grateful for a light in my Mom's eyes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday July 6, 2008
I find myself struggling physically.

Today I am grateful for talking with Dad.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday July 5, 2008
Anyone who knows me well knows that I loyve quotes. I enjoy the written word, and the power that a single sentence can hold, if well written. My friend Pen put this one on her blog, and I just had to grab it.

"Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons."

Today I am grateful for common interests.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday July 4, 2008
Happy Independence Day!

This evening we spent some time with Mom and Dad on their back deck, and Frank lit the fireworks. Although they were beautiful to see, the sight that made me happiest was having Mom right there with us.

Today I am grateful for Mom's smile.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday July 3, 2008
Mom had an appointment at a pain management clinic today. I had spoken with Dr. Stefanini on her behalf, and this doctor came highly recommended. He did not disappoint. Her examination was thorough, and he has a plan in place for her with ongoing tests and follow-up.
My heart already feels lighter, as I truly believe we can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Today I am grateful for optimism.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday July 2, 2008
"An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."

Today I am grateful for children and a love of learning.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday July 1, 2008
"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."

Today I am grateful for twitter fun.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday June 30, 2008
It's All Abigail:   With both girls' birthdays having just passed, the newly ten and seven year olds firmly believe each is wiser than the other. Naturally, Abigail is usually correct, being three years older than her sister. Once in a while, she makes a slight "faux pas". This is one of those times....

Abigail: "Mommy, can you believe that Hannah doesn't remember what guppies are?!?!"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Abigail: "Hannah has already forgotten about guppies..how could she?"
Me: "What are guppies?"
Abigail: "The things that have tails and turn into frogs..."
Hannah: "Those are TADPOLES!"
Abigail's eyes grew wide and she went silent...then burst into laughter as she realized her mistake.

Memory Monday:
You may know I have a brother that is eighteen years younger than I am. When he was little, Mom and Dad let him put stickers all over his closet door. Anywhere he wanted..upside down, sideways, it didn't matter. I was in my early twenties, and found it hard to believe they would let him do that. I can clearly hear my dad say "It's only a door, Carolynn." And although I didn't get it then....now I am a parent. And he was right, it was just a door. And in my girls' rooms, they put whatever they want on their own doors.

Today I am grateful for kashi cereal.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday June 29, 2008
Sunday was not much more than a blur, but a really long one. Chronic pain and fatigue hit me like a freight train. That's due mostly to the fibromyalgia, and complicated by a few other overlapping conditions that I live with daily. Of course, these are much easier to manage when I am home, in my normal routine.

Today I am grateful for fresh air and cooler temps.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday June 28, 2008
By tonight the trip has taken it's toll on my body. We checked out this morning, drove home, then I had a birthday party for Hannah. In the days previous, I took two hours minimum downtime each day to rest. We did have a wonderful vacation. I don't regret a moment of it...but now I just have to take a few days to care for my body.

Today I am grateful for little girls' vacation stories.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday June 27, 2008
We were supposed to check out today, but decided to stay. We've enjoyed our time here-- and while staying in this great suite, why not grab another night? Today the girls rode go carts by themselves. Abigail did a great job, and although Hannah was only barely tall enough to drive the larger cars, she also did well. They rode a bigger roller coaster...the first time they had done that on their own, too. They both screamed with delight, but by the end of the ride, I think Hannah was ready to get off of the ride. She was on the inside of the tilted curves, and boy did she think she was really leaning too far.

This is the year they've both moved up from the kiddie rides and smaller stuff. It was fun to watch them running to us at the exit, talking non-stop and laughing. They are growing up so very fast...

Today I am grateful for proud independence.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday June 26, 2008
After enjoying the freedom of sleeping in, we took the girls to a park with rides and a couple of go cart tracks. I hadn't driven a go cart since I was in my teens...but today I decided to just do it. For a moment I wanted to forget the limitations of my life and feel free. It was a great time, although my muscles did ache for a bit when I finished. It was totally worth it...

Today I am grateful for windblown hair and smiles.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday June 25, 2008
We took the girls to the Aquarium in Gatlinburg today. We had been once before, but it was at least four years ago, and we knew they wouldn't remember much of it. It was so tranquil, to hear the gentle music playing and watch the many fish swim through the water. We did get to see sharks swimming over our heads and all around us, and a diver feeding hundreds of fish. We actually picked up horseshoe crabs--Hannah was more interested in doing that than Abigail. The visit wasn't complete until we ate Dippin' Dots (strawberry cheesecake for me) and visited the gift shop.

Temps were in the upper nineties again and we spent the afternoon at our hotel. It was great to hang out and play with the girls and watch tv. We had no deadlines, and the girls were more than content.

The girls swam in the pool and then we went back downtown to do a little shopping and hanging out. It was fun to watch them looking at the prices of items, to determine if it was "worth" spending their money on. So far, they've done really well, and still have money left for the next two days.

Today I am grateful for the chance to curl up in the bed in the middle of the afternoon.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday June 24, 2008
My baby is seven years old today. Seven. Why it feels so much "older" than six, I can't say, I just know it feels very much older. Hannah, I love you. You are our little miracle, and I know God has something very special planned for your life.

We left this morning for a three night/four day get-away. I managed the first hour and a half quite well, but the rest of the trip was difficult. By the time we checked into our hotel, temps were in the 90's, I had a headache and a half, and my body ached. The day seemed to go downhill from there. Our room was not what we expected. The room was tiny, the beds were so hard I knew I wouldn't sleep well. I reminded myself that at least we were able to take a trip. Be grateful. And indeed, I was grateful. I was determined to make the best of what we had.

It wasn't long before we heard a barking dog a few doors down and realized pets were allowed. Shortly thereafter, I had to call the front desk to report a verbal fight that was going on somewhere in the hall near us. We've stayed here before, but were beginning to wonder what had changed in the last few years.

All four of us headed into Gatlinburg where the girls were eager to spend some of their hard earned and long saved money. We made it an early night, and upon entering our room we discovered we had another dog right next door. (I am a true animal lover, and I think it's inexcusable to leave your dog in a strange room alone.) And then it barked non-stop. After listening to the noise for an hour with no more than ten second reprieves, I went to the front desk.

The desk person was polite and tried to contact the dog owners on the phone number they had left. The situation was out of her control, but the way she handled it was wonderful. I have never met a more efficient, polite person. To make a long story short...I am now sitting in a king size bed typing this entry. We were moved to a "secret" private suite. It's actually a full size, two bedroom apartment. The kitchen is fully stocked, the beds are soft, and I could not be happier.

We have already received two unexpected blessings previous to taking this vacation. And after a few hours of inconvenience, we are blessed again. Hannah actually said "We are living large now, Mommy!".

Today I am grateful for "running over" blessings.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday June 23, 2008
Frank started vacation, and we'll be leaving tomorrow for a few days. Entries will be written each day, but I will not upload them until I am home this weekend. Please check back on Friday night or Saturday to catch up!

Memory Monday:
When I was around nine years old, our family attended Church, and Dad had told us about tithing. It meant that whenever we had money, ten percent was God's and we should give that back to Him. Anything additional was an offering.

I had saved up a small amount of money, but finally enough to purchase a cassette tape recorder. I had wanted one for so long, and finally I could buy one. I looked in the store, and had just enough to purchase one....if I didn't pay my tithes. Dad gave me the choice. Pay my tithes and buy it when I had more money later, or buy it then without paying tithes. I decided to buy it. No tithes, no waiting.

A week later, my Mom showed me the store's sale paper for the week. The recorder I had bought was on sale. Had I paid my tithes and waited, I could have still bought the recorder AND had money left over. That's a lesson I will never forget.

Today I am grateful for Jill and Target.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday June 22, 2008
Yesterday, Frank came to me and said he was thinking of buying a reusable bag to keep in his car, for when he makes quick trips to the local grocery store, on the way home from work. I immediately asked him if he had read my journal recently. *He hadn't. I just wrote two days previous that I had ordered reusable bags! Great minds...or true soul mates? You decide.

*Frank doesn't ever use the home computer, and rarely has time to look online at work. He does read when he can, or if I specifically ask him to read a particular entry, but internet time for him is almost non-existent. He's excused. ♥

Today I am grateful for arbors and wisteria.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday June 21 2008
Mom, your birthday means so much to me;
To have you in my life another year,
The time I spent surrounded by your love,
Each day, each moment with you is so dear.
I cherish the very special bond we have.
You lift my spirit in so many ways.
I celebrate your life; I honor you,
And send to you my love and care and praise.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you!

Today I am grateful for family.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday June 20, 2008
It's All Abigail:
I walked back to my room to find this.
Those are my clothes!!

Today I am grateful for solar lanterns.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday June 19, 2008
I do not consider myself a true "go green" advocate by any means. It has, however, started to bother me that disposable plastic bags can take more than a thousand years to break down in a landfill. Do I reuse those bags? Yeah, some of them I do. I throw more than that away, though. I've just ordered some reusable bags, made from recycled plastic bottles. I'll be taking them with me when I shop from now on.
I tend to follow through when my heart speaks.

Today I am grateful for "us three girls" and Poppy day.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday June 18, 2008
I found this story amazing, click link below to view image:
taking a stand
A Seattle woman who garnered attention for refusing to sell her tiny cottage to developers in Ballard has died.

Edith Macefield died inside her Ballard cottage on Sunday. She was 86.

In her final years, Ms. Macefield's home on Northwest 46th Street, just east of the Ballard Bridge, was dwarfed by cranes. Her daily life was drowned out by the sound of construction equipment building a new fitness club, parking garage and grocery store.

When Ms. Macefield moved into her cottage 56 years ago, it was part of a row of picket-fence-lined cottages in the working-class Scandinavian neighborhood. The small 108-year-old home is now the only house left standing on the block.

Instead of families and cottages, the neighborhood became home to a chemical plant and abandoned lots strewn with garbage on three sides. Government assessors pegged Ms. Macefield's house value at just $8,000 — essentially a worthless tear-down. The sliver of land it sits on — less than four-hundredths of an acre — is assessed at $101,000.

When developers showed up offering Ms. Macefield a buyout package worth an estimated three-quarters of a million dollars, she refused to take it.

When interviewed in 2006, Ms. Macefield said, "I don't care about money ... I'm perfectly happy here. And I don't want to move."

Today I am grateful for home, wherever it may be.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday June 17, 2008
"If you have real internal value, you don't need a loud, expensive imitation."

Today I am grateful for wisdom that comes with age.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday June 16, 2008
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

Memory Monday:
Following up on last week, I changed schools part way through first grade. I carried a red and black plaid book bag, and inside was lunch money and a small bag of Oreos. (They were probably Hydrox instead of Oreos) I quickly realized that the new school had a walk up window store....but better than my first school. They even sold construction paper. Because I have always had a fascination with all things paper, I could not resist. I used my lunch money each day to buy construction paper, and ate my cookies for lunch.

I don't really know how I was caught, but I think the teacher may have noticed that I didn't eat a proper lunch and contacted my parents. What I do clearly remember is the day I had to admit where my lunch money was really going.

Today I am grateful for patient parents.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday June 15, 2008
Daddy's Girl
When you were young, pony-tailed,
face full of playful freckles,
were you a daddy's girl?
I was. I still am.
Did you look to him for your security,
for love and attention,
for the understanding, and the patience you lacked
as a child?
My daddy was the center of my small world,
the focus of my affections,
the star that lit my life, shining bright.
Shining still in my heart.
The years have led me here,
weathered with maturity and responsibilities,
and I see more clearly now.
The hardships, burdens of love,
and all the small sacrifices he made for me,
for our family.
He created stability, a place to call home.
Turning to my father for support,
advice, wise counsel, and for approval.
Grown up, I see differently now...
A new perspective of a man I have always known.
My heart is full, my emotions overpowering
just in the certainty of that bond.
He's been there for me through all the conflicts
helping me over the rough, ragged stones of growing up.
My respect for him is unending,
faith is unbound, and love is unquestioning.
Even in the midst of all my imperfections, he is lenient,
ignoring the pitfalls, the downfalls, the shortcomings,
he just accepted me as I was, as I am.
The sheer purity of it leaves me awe-struck
and it lifts me up, it holds my head a little higher,
it keeps me in balance,
harmonizing with the world around me
beautifully, like an inspired masterpiece from the soul
of an honest man.
I am honored to know him, to love him, to be of him.
He's my hero, and I am his daughter, his little girl.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD. I love you.

And to Frank, the father of my own children, you are everything I ever wanted in a man. And you are the only man in the world who could fill my own father's shoes. I love you, babe.

Today I am grateful for napping with cats.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday June 14, 2008
One of the millipedes died last night. I actually feel quite sad about it. Although I was fearing their arrival, I have now become quite attached to them. We added more soil, I misted the moss, and gave them a new apple slice. Some of them had died at school, so Hannah wasn't distressed when I told her the smallest one had died. I told her I put it in a lot of dirt to bury it. She just said he is in heaven now.

Today I am grateful for pink blooming water lilies.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday June 13, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Average kid would say "Look, I bought a snorkel with my money, but Daddy had to add a dollar."
This is her version:
Hannah: "Mommy, look what I got! A snorkel and goggles. It was actually $5.49 and I only had $5. I knew CVS charges tax, too. Daddy gave me an extra dollar, because you know that was going to be more than $5 and that was all you told me to spend. So I went and paid with my five dollars and the dollar Daddy gave me. That made it six dollars. I got change back because it was $5.49 and tax, too, but not all of the six dollars. Then she put it in a bag and put the receipt in there, too. I gave Daddy the change."

I'm out of breath just listening.

Today I am grateful for hummingbirds.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday June 12, 2008
"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

Today I am grateful for the pale glow from three new tree lights outside.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday June 11, 2008
My inbox, it overfloweth.

Today I am grateful for the move back to the office.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday June 10, 2008
"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

For you, Deb.

Today I am grateful for morning glories.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday June 9, 2008
Abigail's new bike finally came in--her birthday present from us. What fun to see my big girl on a 24" mountain bike. She had really outgrown her old one. Hannah was the excited recipient of the "hand me down". Daddy lowered the seat on it and she took off in a flash.

Memory Monday:
So, as I was saying, my brother is a kindergarten drop out.
Here's the rest of the story: When we were young, kindergarten was actually optional. Preschool was unheard of, and kindergarten wasn't an essential part of the educational process. Since we were a year apart, our parents didn't send me to kindergarten. The following year, I went to first grade, and they sent Dean to kindergarten at the same time.

Part way through the year, my Dad took a short term job out of town and we had to change schools. Because it was optional, Dean didn't go to kindergarten after the move, and I went into my new first grade class. And so he became our "official kindergarten drop out".

I might add that on his first day of kindergarten, we got off of the school bus coming home-- and the first thing my mom noticed was his pants leg blowing in the breeze. I don't know what he got into, but somehow the entire side seam was ripped out!

"Him's" still a tough boy today....snicker.

Next Monday I will confess my own first grade transgression that involved Oreos, lunch money and construction paper.

Today I am grateful for a slower pace.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday June 8, 2008
"To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideals - that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him, and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him."

Today I am grateful for Dad's DVD sermons.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday June 7, 2008
We are continuing temps in the nineties. Today it was ninety-four degrees. It's almost unheard of that we have consecutive "90 days". Generally our highest temps are upper eighties. Nineties are "rare" enough that when our neighboring town hits ninety degrees, the businesses serve lemonade the next day. I love that tradition, but what used to be a rare occasion seems to be not so uncommon these days.

Today I am grateful for open windows and ceiling fans.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday June 6, 2008
Our first morning without the "get ready for school" rush!

I would like to take a moment and mention the girls' elementary school. There is generally a stereotype that because we live in a small town, our education is substandard. For us, that is far from the case.

Congratulations to Tazewell Elementary School--
The US Department of Education designated only SEVEN Virginia public schools as 2007 No Child Left Behind Blue Ribbon Schools...who are "academically superior in their states".

Today I am grateful for sibling bonds.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday June 5, 2008
It's been broken and glued more times than I can count, even her fingers are chipped, but I love this figure. I think there's a real message here.
broken wing

Today I am grateful for the last day of school.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday June 4, 2008
Add to our list of pets: three very long millipedes.
How did this happen?

Months ago, Hannah told me they had millipedes at school, and she would often be in charge of feeding them--lettuce or green apples. She was one of the few who weren't afraid of them and came home telling me how her millipede had climbed from her leg to her neck. She said her teacher would let them have the millipedes at the end of the school year, if the parents said yes.

CERTAIN they would not survive that long, I said "Sure, Hannah, you can bring yours home."
They survived, and I was not going back on my word. The idea of having them here freaked me out initially. She brought them home yesterday, and by this afternoon I was slicing a granny smith apple for their feeding, and tonight we moved them into a larger home.

I wasn't too happy to hear that Hannah had sneaked one out earlier this morning to "see Abigail's room". While introducing him to her stuffed animals, "he peed on Puffer's little blanket". More laundry. More sanitizer.

I haven't held any of them. Yet. But I am going to calmly place one on my palm and not freak out...because I love my daughter and I don't want to teach her a fear she doesn't have. They have no idea how I feel, as I have been very casual so far. This is actually a big deal to me. In my twenties I had a true insect phobia. In a big way. Encountering the locust swarm in Baltimore years ago didn't help. (Those are stories for another day) I have slowly gotten beyond the actual phobia, to a point were I don't feel the need to run away or pass out if I see one. There are only a few insects now that still "creep me out". The millipede is on that list.

(edited into post 6/15)
And now, photographic evidence:
millipede on my arm
see? it really is me!
(I do have a slight look of dismay, having realized he mistook me for the restroom. I've held them several times and managed to escape that until today's pictures.

Today I am grateful for a fearless little girl.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday June 3, 2008
Tonight was boys night out. Dad and Frank went out for dinner and a trip to Lowe's. They don't often get to spend one on one time together. Frank really enjoys his relationship with my Dad. His own father passed away when he was five, and my father has become his father.

Today I am grateful for standing in the rain.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday June 2, 2008
It's the last week of school. The girls get out Thursday for the summer. They are both wound so tight they're bouncing off the walls.

Memory Monday:
My brother Dean is a kindergarten drop out.
I will explain this next Monday, but for now I think I'll let him sweat this one out. (Ok, I'll confess this part-- he has a great job now and two college degrees, so all was not lost--it's just a funny story.)

Today I am grateful for seedlings.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday June 1, 2008
"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars."

Today I am grateful for loud rain.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday May 31, 2008
Ten years ago today, at 2:12pm, my first child was born. I have barely blinked and now she is "double digit" proud.
Happy Birthday, Puff. I love you with all my heart...
annual lilac pic
blowing out the candles
our family
never too old for this

Today I am grateful for my beautiful ten year old daughter.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday May 30, 2008
Today was Student Appreciation Day and the Spring Carnival for the Elementary School.
face painting
squeezing through
climbing the wall
Hannah goes upside down
Abigail at the top of the big slide

Today I am grateful for big slides and face painting.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday May 29, 2008
My Mom started therapy today. She may be seeing a neurosurgeon next week. As I said before, she is having terrible problems with her neck and back. I am reaching out to all of you, asking you to please pray for her. She has suffered for months and we just want her to get some relief.

Today I am grateful for my green burden bear.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday May 28, 2008
"We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams."

In memory of Frank's father...

Today I am grateful for pencil sketches.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday May 27, 2008
Yesterday all of the containers for the front porch were planted, and everything is looking much better. Today I worked on some of the back deck planting. As I was outside, a few drops of rain started to fall. I decided to stay out, but the rain became heavier with each passing minute. It felt so good working with the soil and smelling the fresh air that I actually enjoyed getting soaked by the rain.

Today I am grateful for sitting in the rain.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday May 26, 2008
"The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it."

Thoughts and prayers to those who served, those who sacrificed, and those that continue to do so.

Memory Monday:
When I was in third grade, I was selected (along with a classmate) to take care of the school flag for a week. We took our responsibility seriously, careful to honor the flag and show respect. I can remember being nervous that I would let it slip and touch the ground. I'm glad we were taught to respect the great symbol of our nation.

Today I am grateful for patriotism at its best.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday May 25, 2008
Welcome back, azalea.

Today I am grateful for a special card from Mom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday May 24, 2008
"You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!!
I love you so very much.

(Enough that I made his favorite dessert --butterscotch pie-- from scratch for him. Mom came over with her recipe and she gave a thumbs up. My first pie. For those that know me, this is a big deal. I DO have photographic proof!)

Today I am grateful for being daddy's girl.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday May 23, 2008
Today I went to one of my favorite nurseries and picked up some annuals. I have my front porch ready for planting now but need to make another trip to finish off the back deck. I think it's finally safe to say we won't have another frost!

Today I am grateful for an enjoyable day.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday May 22, 2008
It's All Abigail:   Reading the new packaging on McDonald's chicken nuggets:
Abigail: "All white meat."
Me: "Yep, that's right."
Abigail: (giggling) "That's what we are, too....all white meat!!"

Today I am grateful for silly little girls.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday May 21, 2008
"The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine intervention, and the most wonderful of all things in life."

Happy Anniversary, Babe.

Today I am grateful for twelve years of marriage.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday May 20, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Hannah had a "build-your-own SuperHero" paper, and in each category, she had to make choices on what power she preferred.
Hannah: "I think I'll take invisible over x-ray vision."
Me: "Invisible would be cool."
Hannah: "Yeah, that way I can sneak up on the enemy, give him a wedgie, then KNOCK him down!!"

Today I am grateful for cheese cubes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday May 19, 2008
"Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory."

Memory Monday:
When I was young, we didn't eat out at restaurants. Once in a while, we would drive through the Tastee Freeze and Dad would order a small coke and two straws, which Dean and I would share. No other soda has ever tasted as good as those back then. I'll never forget how happy those days made me.

Today I am grateful for simplicity and sacrifice.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday May 18, 2008
"To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am."

I think that makes you still young! (But older than me, hehe)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELLE!
I love you!!

Today I am grateful for a successful youth church surprise party.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday May 17, 2008
stop or go?

Today I am grateful for blankets on soccer day.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday May 16, 2008
You may remember that last fall I had to place some of my pond fish in a new home. They were growing so large, I just couldn't keep that many. I now have four fish.
a quick shot
At the top you can see part of the black and white one. He's more than tripled in size and is approximately ten inches now. To the left, the colored fish with red eyes came from Mom and Dad's pond, and is several years old. (They no longer have their ponds) The smaller orange and white fish is "my baby" that was born last year in our own pond. He started out solid black. The monstrous orange guy is Trauma. He is also from Mom and Dad's pond and is ten years old! He started as a tiny goldfish, and the first put into their ponds. Trauma was accidentally sucked into the pump in their lower pond, traveled though the pipes underground to the top pond, and came out over their waterfall. Miraculously, he survived with no injury other than a bent tail--hence his name, Trauma.

Today I am grateful for granola.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday May 15, 2008
We've seen the geese a few times since I posted about them at the end of April. They seem to make a regular walk to a creek across the road from us. They walk in a little line, with one parent in the front, then five babies followed by the other parent. The goslings are safely insulated by their parents.

Today I am grateful for nature's protection of its "little ones".
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday May 14, 2008
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

Today I am grateful for a chance meeting just over a year ago, that led to a wonderful friendship.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday May 13, 2008
Frank took a rare day off today, and we were able to go out together while the girls were in school. It was nice to walk through the mall holding hands.

I came home to the great news that someone very special to me was just declared cancer-free. Thank God!!

Today I am grateful for alone time with Frank.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday May 12, 2008
"We do not remember days; we remember moments."

Memory Monday:
Although I didn't move on to Girl Scouts, I was a Brownie for two years. My Mom was one of our leaders. We used colored unpopped popcorn and cardboard to make beautiful mosaics. Pencil drawings were done for us, and we glued the different colors of popcorn onto the design. We had so much fun, and I can still see that design in my mind today.

Today I am grateful for the view on my back deck.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday May 11, 2008
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!
new tulips
another look

Today I am grateful for family get-togethers.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday May 10, 2008
Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.

Today I am grateful for homemade coupon books.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday May 9, 2008
With a couple late frosts, I've delayed container planting and purchasing any annuals (or perennials). This evening we went ahead and got out all of the lawn decor and planters. Everything is out and in place except for a few word stones. It looks so much better outside now with the various decor, stakes, etc.

Now to buy plants. Lots of plants. There's a lot of empty pots on the porch and back deck!

Today I am grateful for the "outdoor room".
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday May 8, 2008
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."

Today I am grateful for the boston terrier next door.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday May 7, 2008
With less than a month of school left, the girls are getting excited about summer. I must confess, I'm looking forward to it as well. It will be nice to be less "scheduled", and I certainly won't miss the morning rush.

Today I am grateful for the iguana spitter on the deck.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday May 6, 2008
Hannah-ism:   I was playing with Hannah, and pretending as though I was going to bite her.
Hannah: "Don't eat me! Then you'll be pregnant with me again!"

Today I am grateful for a successful Ladies Banquet.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday May 5, 2008
"It is not what you say you believe that is important, but what you model, encourage, reward and let happen."

Memory Monday:
who needs words?

Today I am grateful for being Daddy's Girl.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday May 4, 2008
Hannah-ism:   This afternoon Hannah and I were sitting together playing while Frank & Abigail went out to pick up lunch.
Hannah: "Mommy, I love your eyes."
Me: "You like the blue, huh?" (my eyes are brown)
Hannah: "They're brown, Mommy!"
Me: "I know my eye color, they are blue, Hannah."
Hannah: "Oh yeah, go look in the mirror."
Me: "I'm definitely not falling for that trick."
Hannah: "Fine, I'll ask Jesus." (closes her eyes)
Hannah: "He said they're brown."
Me: (laughing) "Ok, I won't argue with that then."

Today I am grateful for play time and laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday May 3, 2008
"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee."

Today I am grateful for breakfast made by Abigail.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday May 2, 2008
Spring soccer season started this week, and both girls have games this weekend. This is Abigail's sixth year playing. After practices tonight, they were both all smiles.

It's All Abigail: Walking in from practice...
Abigail: "Mommy, I got hit in the face, in the stomach, and I scored a goal!"
Abigail: "High five!"

Today I am grateful for girl power and sports.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday May 1, 2008
"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch -- what makes you go beyond the norm."

Today I am grateful for a walk though my yard, filled with color.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday April 30, 2008
Noodle soup has never tasted better, and by evening I even ate some grilled chicken. I am still not feeling well, but am definitely on the mend.

Today I am grateful for protein.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday April 29, 2008
Resting. Trying to recover.

Today I am grateful for saltine crackers.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday April 28, 2008
I thought I had escaped. I was wrong. Some virus hit me like a freight train just before lunch. By 6:30pm, I was in the emergency room. I was dehydrated, my veins were collapsing and my sugar dropped very low. After a pain injection my back/neck pain diminished. I had a bag of fluids with phenergan to cut the nausea and rehydrate me, as well as another bag with a sugar compound to get my numbers up. They ran lots of blood work as well as a CT on my stomach. It was 1:30am when we got back home.

Memory Monday:
As a child, when I wasn't feeling well, I would lay down on the bed and my Dad would rub my forehead. It would relax me so much, I would drift off to sleep. As my eyes would close, I could feel Dad start to move his arm away, and I would force my eyes open to show him I was awake-- then he would keep rubbing my head. It felt so good, I would fight off sleep as long as I could. Today I can only imagine how his arm ached from rubbing my head for so long. But there's one thing I know for sure--he never stopped until I was fast asleep.

Today I am grateful for Clinch Valley's sense of urgency.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday April 27, 2008
"It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him."

Today I am grateful for Jill, popping in at just the right times.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday April 26, 2008
(TMI alert) It was a long Friday night/Saturday morning. Seventeen throw-ups in eight hours between two girls.

By tonight, the girls seem to be feeling better, but they are fighting fevers and general weakness. Saltine crackers and dry Cheerios were the only foods I could get into them today, along with some diet 7Up and a sugar-free popsicle. There is no doubt that this is the worst illness they've experienced since birth.

In addition, Frank had an accident at work today. He didn't tell me until he got home, however. To make a long story short, I'll just say that he was hit with a large piece of steel, right on his inner brow bone. Less than a quarter-inch over, and he would have lost his eye.

Today I am grateful for sparing my husband from a terrible injury.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday April 25, 2008
Both girls have been hit hard with a stomach virus this evening. Hannah was sick first, and within two hours, Abigail was as well. I've put phenergan gel on both of them, and hope by tomorrow the worst is behind them. My poor little babies-- they are being as sweet as can be. Right now, Hannah is definitely the hardest hit of the two.

I am praying for their recovery and that Frank and I will be sheltered, as well as my Mom and Dad.

Today I am grateful for weak little smiles.
Thank you God, for another day.

ADVOCACY NEWS:
Last week Champions of the Cure told you about GINA – the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act – which if passed would make it illegal to discriminate based on genetic information.

This protection is critical, since testing for a specific genetic mutation commonly associated with breast cancer can lead to early detection and treatment – saving countless lives.

Now we have great news. More than 16,000 of you sent letters to your Senators in support of GINA, and it paid off! Thanks to your support, the Senate unanimously passed GINA last night (Thursday, April 25) and now the bill just needs approval from the House and the signature of the President – both of which are expected to happen quickly.

GINA prohibits discrimination by health insurers and employers on the basis of genetic information. So now, thanks to GINA, women who would otherwise have avoided genetic testing because they feared discrimination – thus being denied information that could help them manage their health or their family's health – will have protections under federal law.

The passage of GINA is an important step that presents a great opportunity to promote personalized medicine and the use of genetic information in healthcare. This will lead to better research and development for new targeted drugs and treatments, which will save lives.

GINA will become the law of the land. And you helped make it possible.

Thank you for your efforts,
Diane Balma
Susan G. Komen for the Cure Advocacy Alliance

Thursday April 24, 2008
"True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment."

Today I am grateful for sitting beside the pond.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday April 23, 2008
The babies are here!
(Remember the goose? See last week's entry, Thursday)
I counted at least six little yellow babies, and proud Papa was standing tall.

Today I am grateful for a new Study Bible.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday April 22, 2008


Today I am grateful for the astounding beauty around us.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday April 21, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Hannah was watching tv in my bedroom, and she kept coming out, giving me hugs and kisses, then returning to my room.
Me: "Wow, I'm getting lots of love today!"
Hannah: "Yep."
Me: "That's very nice. Thank you."
Hannah: "Well, I'm just coming out during commercials."

Memory Monday:
As I have mentioned, we didn't have a lot growing up, but my parents always managed for us to be unaware, and we were happy. Someone had given Dad some tin, and he built us a playhouse. Not just any playhouse. From the studs up, it was built by his hands--and it was the size of some people's storage buildings. He cut out windows also---but rather than actual windows/glass (impossible to afford, not that we knew any better), they were hinged pieces of plywood. With a hook and eye closure, we could open them wide to let the sun shine in. Dad spray painted the door. Mom had some fabric, and made blue curtains with white ric rac tie backs--and it was the BEST clubhouse ever.

Today I am grateful for pink ribbon and tiny notecards.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday April 20, 2008
Frank left yesterday just after lunch to take the girls and visit his mother for a night. I spoke to them a few times, and heard lots of giggles. Grandma has a dog named Shadow, and they took plenty of pictures of her! Frank took the girls strolling through town and on to a park, and I'm glad they had some "Daddy and Me" time. I think watching Daddy swing was their favorite part!!

Today I am grateful that my babies are back home in their beds.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday April 19, 2008
"Despise not small things, either for evil or good, for a look may work thy ruin, or a word create thy wealth. A spark is a little thing, yet it may kindle the world."

Today I am grateful for thunder.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday April 18, 2008
Today is for Mom. I haven't written a lot of details here, but her physical condition has deteriorated a great deal in the past six months. She has multiple limitations, and has been living with a great deal of pain. Recently, she visited a new physician at Wake Forest/Bowman Grey. Being a University Hospital, it seems she may be finally getting the care she needs. Many doctors have "written her off" and at times it has been very frustrating.

On Monday, she will have a procedure done and some testing as well. I ask that you please join me in prayer for her. She has suffered for too long, and I want nothing more than to see her feel better. We believe God has His plan, and trust His will for her life.

Mom, I feel so helpless, because I can't "fix" you. But I pray....and will continue to do so every day. I love you.

Today I am grateful for living right next door to my Mom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday April 17, 2008
I've lived in many cities up and down the east coast, but Frank and I both agreed after we were married that we wanted to move back "home" to raise children. Today was the perfect reminder of why I love living here. I spent the first half of the day having breakfast out with Dad and running a few errands together, including grocery shopping. We have a great relationship, and I love that we can enjoy time together, even doing the simplest of things.

After I brought the girls home from school, I told them if they could be quiet, I would walk them up the road to see something special. We walked about a hundred yards, where I was able to show them this. (apologies on quality, it was a quick snap with my phone) She's been sitting on her eggs for a while now, and we hope to see babies in the water soon.

Although I love visiting the city, I wouldn't trade what we have here for anything.

Today I am grateful for small town life.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday April 16, 2008

One year later... As we remember 416--classes are closed, and flags are at half mast. Moment of silence at noon.
A Day Of Remembrance

Today I am grateful for a community who wouldn't give up.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday April 15, 2008
We awoke to a heavy frost this morning, and supposed to have another tomorrow. If the forecast holds, we'll be in the mid-seventies in a couple more days. I hope the bulbs haven't suffered too much--many of them were just in the bud stage.

Today I am grateful for success stories.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday April 14, 2008
Surprisingly, there was no frost this morning. We did have periods of snow (fluffy large flakes), and sleet today. As cold as it was, the finches were eagerly eating from the feeder all day.

Memory Monday:
When I was in third grade, I ran for class president. Lots of posters were made, and a day before elections were held, we had to make our campaign speech.
My main platform? I would get chocolate milk in the cafeteria. That one won me a lot of votes.

How funny that seems today, more than thirty-five years later. Soda and snack machines are everywhere, and schools have had chocolate milk for years now. Some even have strawberry.

Today I am grateful for sudafed.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday April 13, 2008
Ok, so last Monday wasn't the final fire. I gave in. A cold front has moved in, and with the chance of a two day "wintry mix" and temps 30-44 degrees, a fire just seemed right. It's cozy inside and a strange juxtaposition to this morning's beautiful blooming Spring-- that I fear will soon suffer from two cold nights.
my deck this afternoon, yes it's ice and snow

Today I am grateful for a new mail order catalog.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday April 12, 2008
"I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all."

Today I am grateful for paper, rock, scissors.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday April 11, 2008
This is one of my new orange tulips. I smile every time I see them out front.

Today I am grateful for Subway.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday April 10, 2008
"It's better to be a 'used to be' than a 'never was'."

Hannah-ism:
Hannah: "Mommy, you're my cedar and I'm your fir tree."

Today I am grateful for open windows.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday April 9, 2008
Beauty is blooming everywhere. The orange emperor tulips have opened, and they are stunning. This was a new one for our yard, and it's first year appearance has not disappointed.

Today I am grateful for Mom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday April 8, 2008
The lawn was mowed this evening, and wow what a difference. Everyone in the neighborhood seems to be doing the same thing this week. The goldfinches are back. I saw four at one time on the feeder. Not a bad start! My frog has returned and has been singing practically non-stop. Things are definitely coming alive around here!

Today I am grateful for an open-ended "goodbye".
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday April 7, 2008
Today was a good day.
The forecast all week is in the sixties, and it seems we are settling into Spring. I did build one final fire in the fireplace today. I will miss the fires, but as I walk outside, I feel the exhilaration of Spring. This fall, I'll be ready to switch roles again. After work, Frank got the ponds up and running, and the fish have wintered well. The baby has grown, and his colors have changed. When born, he was all black. Soon the colors lightened, and now he has red and white markings.

Tomorrow I will clear the fireplace of the final ashes, and look forward to working on putting our "extra room" back together--- the deck.

Memory Monday:
When we were little, Dean & I were allowed to be kids. Although we had some responsibilities, we were not used as work horses and had plenty of fun, "kid" time. I do remember one time I was told to wash the dishes (no dishwasher back then). Although it certainly wasn't the first time I had done so, I remember crying about it. I was heartbroken that I had to wash them. Dad sneaked in and without saying a word, placed a quarter for me on the corner of the sink. The tears were gone, and I happily finished my chore.

Today I am grateful for seeing my fish again.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday April 6, 2008
Carolynn's Crew 2008:



I have spoken with last years Crew members, and this is part of my correspondence:

I've given a lot of thought about 2008, and how Carolynn's Crew can continue into it's seventh year. My physical limitations cannot be ignored, and yet I have no desire to impose them on any of you...or the aspirations you may have for future events yourselves.

Komen has a Passionately Pink for the Cure event, and we can do it any time we want to in October. I've spoken with them, and they do plan to continue the event for 2008. This is the perfect fit for me. I will be looking for donations of any amount, to maximize the fund raising potential. I can get signs, solicit schools and businesses to participate, and it culminates in a single day of WEARING PINK.

This would not limit you from participating in any other event as well. Should some of you want to do the local Relay again this year, I think that's great. I know Pen has some pending plans, and Kelle is assisting a friend in the 3Day.

My days of walking long distance are over, but my desire to raise awareness, money and spread my story are as strong as they have ever been. Passionately Pink feels like a perfect match for me. If it's a match for you as well, I'd love to have you.

I am happy to say that everyone from last year is all in for 2008. An added advantage to the Passionately Pink for the Cure event is that we can have members from any location participate, not just those that can travel to a singular event. Mark your calendars-- FRIDAY OCTOBER 24, 2008! If any of you would like to be involved, please let me know!

More details to come!!

Today I am grateful for team commitments.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday April 5, 2008
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

Today I am grateful for cats and cheeseburgers.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday April 4, 2008
“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”

Happy Birthday, Baby...

Today I am grateful for twelve and a half years with the man I love.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday April 3, 2008
Keep watching....Carolynn's Crew 2008 plans will be announced this weekend!

Today I am grateful for new plans.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday April 2, 2008
"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."

Today I am grateful for cooking with Abigail.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday April 1, 2008
Frank took a much needed day off today. If you ask what we did, I am happy to say "almost nothing". We just hung out...and it was great.

Today I am grateful for down time.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday March 31, 2008
Memory Monday:
One day I was in the back yard with Dad. We were playing the "freefall" game, where I stood in front of him, but facing away. I would cross my arms and fully fall backward, and he would catch me on the way down. After several times, my body was totally relaxed, knowing he would never drop me. A man walked across the yard to speak with Dad. I saw him, but didn't realize I didn't have Dad's full attention. I crossed my arms, relaxed my body, and fell backwards. Much to my surprise (and Dads)---THUD!! I hit the ground!

Today I am grateful for a quiet evening.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday March 30, 2008
"There is a sense of exhilaration that comes from facing head-on the hard truths and saying, 'We will never give up. We will never capitulate. It might take a long time, but we will find a way to prevail.'"

Today I am grateful for long blooming alstroemeria.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday March 29, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Hannah is a talker. Everything she says comes with great detail, and no answer or explanation is ever short. A few nights ago she was out late with Daddy and when she came home, Abigail was in bed asleep. She walked toward the living room carrying her spinner toothbrush and toothpaste. Rather than just saying "I'm going to brush my teeth in your bathroom, Mommy" her version was much different:

"Mommy, I'm going back to your room. Puffer is asleep, and if I turn this on it might wake her up. The bathroom wall is beside her room. If I was asleep and she came home and used her toothbrush it would probably wake me up, because my room is beside the bathroom. So I don't want to wake her up. Your bathroom is down here, and she won't hear it. See? Look all the way up there. It's far, far away, way up there, and I won't wake her up when I brush my teeth. Okay?"

Today I am grateful for more signs of Spring around us.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday March 28, 2008
Silly Sable

Today I am grateful for crisp sheets.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday March 27, 2008
I've been down with my stomach since Easter. I have no idea what caused the flare up, but it is definitely the worst I have had in many months. I usually bounce back the next day, and a bad stretch could last three days. Between the nausea and the feeling of my stomach being eaten up, it's been a long week.

Today I am grateful for sitting on the porch with Dad.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday March 26, 2008
I wonder what he is thinking?

Today I am grateful for companion animals.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday March 25, 2008
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."

Today I am grateful for "Leave It To Beaver".
Thank you God, for another day.

MEDICAL NEWS:
A recent study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology reveals that breast cancer patients treated with the drug letrozole several years after completing treatment with tamoxifen have a reduced risk of a recurrence. This study indicates that it may never be too late for breast cancer survivors to protect themselves against future breast cancer recurrences and that letrozole may effectively reduce these risks.

Monday March 24, 2008
Yesterday was Easter. The trees are budding, and early blooms are everywhere. So, where did this come from today?

Memory Monday:
As a child, Easter Breakfast was soft boiled eggs and toast "soldiers". Before we ate, we took crayons and drew faces or pictures on the egg shells. That tradition is now over forty years running, as I continued it into adulthood and to this day with my own children.

The Easter Bunny always had a hunt ready for us. When we got up, there were slips of paper and each would tell us where to look in the house. A small gift would be hidden in each place. We quickly learned that the last piece of paper, with the last hiding place, was going to be the Easter Basket itself. That's another tradition I've passed onto my children, with one addition: They both have plush animal baskets (Abigail has a lamb, Hannah a rabbit) that they put out before they go to bed. In the morning, the animals are filled with plastic eggs, each with a note inside telling them where to look. The BIG egg is always last, and yes, it's their Easter basket's hiding place.

Today I am grateful for noodle soup.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday March 23, 2008
HAPPY EASTER!
Without the shedding of blood, there is no remission. Thank God for the death, burial and resurrection of His Son.
He is risen.

Today I am grateful for the Resurrection of Christ.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday March 22, 2008
A trip to see someone special.

Today I am grateful for smiles.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday March 21, 2008
Hannah-ism:
Hannah: "I asked Andrew if he was strong enough to wear pink."
Me: "What did he say?"
Hannah: "He said, um, yes he was."
Me: "That's good then, isn't it?"
Hannah: "Yeah. Just only him and Daddy. Daddy is really strong because I've seen his pink shirts!"

Today I am grateful for pine cones.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday March 20, 2008
HAPPY SPRING!!
I was greeted by a special FTD delivery for the welcoming of Spring--- what a wonderful surprise!!
Thanks, Kel!

Today I am grateful for yellow lilies.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday March 19, 2008
I've watched this so many times I have lost count, but it still kills me. Maybe it's just me, but I find this commercial hilarious.
click to view

Today I am grateful for laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday March 18, 2008
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly."

Today I am grateful for change.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday March 17, 2008
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

Memory Monday:
My second grade teacher was one of my childhood favorites. She was a young, single, new teacher and full of enthusiasm. One day she told us that she was going to let us make a dress, and she would wear it. Each day filled with more excitement, as we couldn't believe she was doing this for us. She helped us carve potatoes into stamps with various shapes and designs. On the final day, she brought in a simple white dress. I have no idea if she had made it herself or not. She laid the jumper on the floor and we covered it front and back with stamps of all designs and colors. And true to her word, she wore that dress to school.

I don't know where you are now, Miss Hutchins---but after almost forty years, I still love you for letting us make that dress.

Today I am grateful for the color green.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday March 16, 2008
As it turned out, Master Clubs allowed trios to sing, but no solo entrants. Abigail sang a different song with two of her friends instead. Today at Church her club demonstrated many of the events from the previous day, as well as proudly show off their awards. Abigail went ahead and sang her solo for the Church, and she did a great job. This was a first for her, and I could not be more proud of her.
All smiles with her ribbons
Proudly showing her art piece
Close-up of Scripture Box

Today I am grateful for a successful solo performance.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday March 15, 2008
Master Clubs Regional Competitions were held in Kingsport, TN today. This is Abigail's first year eligible to participate in the 4th-6th grade age group. She has eagerly prepared for individual events, and their class has practiced for team events. She also created a Christian Art project--she decided to make a mosaic stained glass "scripture box" and designed it all herself. I'll post some pictures tomorrow. In addition, she planned to enter a solo competition, singing "You're a Grand Old Flag."

She excitedly left this morning at 7:15am, and the Church took two vans. It was a long day for her, having just got home at 9:45pm! Since it's late, I'll recap more tomorrow.

Today I am grateful for confident independence.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday March 14, 2008
With buds everywhere, today I saw the first blooms, the tete-a-tete daffodils. Amazing beauty.

Today I am grateful for altoids gum.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday March 13, 2008
It was time for a technology upgrade in our family. Frank and I both used Razr phones for about a year and a half. We both loved the phones. He has now moved to a slider phone, and I highly recommend the format. Any flip phone user will love the usability ease of these new phones. Do your research though...with a quick click you can tell that some brands are sturdier than others.

For me, primarily I wanted to try a phone with a qwerty keyboard (lots of texting), and after researching several phones and reading reviews, I picked up the Blackjack 2, and I prefer the red model. The back of the red is textured and fingerprint proof, but the black is high gloss. The texture also prevents the phone from sliding around if it's laying on a solid surface or in the car. I declined internet however---I don't want to be "connected" everywhere I go. If it's on the phone, I'm likely to use it. So, for now...there are many features of this phone I won't be using. I'm still adjusting to the new keyboard, but I do like it very much.

Today I am grateful for a cool breeze.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday March 12, 2008
My best friend, and sister of the heart, Kelle, recently changed employers. It's a great career move and I couldn't be happier for her. In the meantime, we haven't had a lot of "phone" talk time. So...

Today I am grateful for a long overdue phone catch-up conversation.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday March 11, 2008
"What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere."

Today I am grateful for stained glass.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday March 10, 2008
We sneaked in a three day weekend--both girls were home with me today. Sleeping in, watching DVDs, crafts and games filled the day. It was a nice break.

Memory Monday:
As a child, I had wanted my ears pierced, but was told I wasn't old enough for earrings. At that time, nurses would come to jewelry stores once a month or so, to do the piercing. There were no Claire's or other stores that were allowed to pierce ears.
I used to go to our local jewelry store, Al Land, with my grandmother. I would always make a point of lingering over the earring selection, wishing I could wear them. One Saturday, Mom-maw said she needed a watch battery, and asked if I wanted to come along. Of course I said yes, because I knew I could look at earrings again. When we walked in together, I saw the nurse in her white uniform at the back of the store. Expecting to hear Mom-maw ask for a battery, she asked them if they would pierce my ears! I had no idea that Mom & Dad had agreed in advance and this was a pre-planned surprise for me. I walked out of Al Land's Jewelry store with newly pierced ears, and a smile from ear to ear.

Today I am grateful for extra time in bed.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday March 9, 2008
"Resolve today to either resolve or walk away from any situation that makes you unhappy or causes you stress."

Today I am grateful for Bath & Body Works Twisted Peppermint body wash.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday March 8, 2008
Although it didn't really stick to the roads, we had fluffy snow fall for most of the day and into tonight. A perfect day to do a few odds and ends and just hang out.

Today I am grateful for remembering that the time changes tonight.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday March 7, 2008
There's that saying, "When you know better, you do better". I'm a big believer in personal responsibility. I must admit that I would sometimes text while driving. Not often, but still guilty. I saw a news program on how far you actually travel while you only glance down just to hit two buttons. That's it, I'm done. It's just too dangerous. And now there is no doubt that I "know better".

Today I am grateful for rain and a nice hooded jacket.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday March 6, 2008
"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence."

Today I am grateful for the small stuff.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday March 5, 2008
I'm dedicating today to my two beautiful daughters. Abigail and Hannah work very hard in our Church Youth Program, Master Clubs, and are always so eager to learn more. Tonight they both came home with multiple badges and ribbons...rewards for their efforts.

I am so very proud of you both!!

Today I am grateful for highly motivated children.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday March 4, 2008
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

Today I am grateful for steady rain.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday March 3, 2008
Ok, today it was 67° in the shade.
It's official.
I have a fever.
SPRING Fever.
I strolled through the yard today, front and back...and everything is coming to life. Mom-maw's hen and chicks are popping up red, her lilac tree is covered in buds. My pink tulips are three inches high, and daffodils are growing everywhere. The lavender is greening and all of the ground covers are coming to life. I spent time on the front porch with Mom and Dad, drinking tea and bird watching.

I love the snow, and I am thrilled that we finally had a decent pile up last week. With all of this new growth, and the feel of the sun on my face, I am now ready for Spring...and so are the plants and fish.

Memory Monday:
Thinking about that locust tree I mentioned a couple of Mondays ago....we used to pull lots of leaves from that tree, and write on each one with a black marker, anything from one cent to five dollars. We'd play store, and carry around our "money" in a sandwich bag.

Today I am grateful for the breeze through open windows.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday March 2, 2008
Three days ago, the girls were outside sledding. Today they were playing soccer and riding bikes in short sleeve shirts. Another Spring tease?

Today I am grateful for birdsongs.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday March 1, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Having always had a flair for the dramatic, Hannah has recently started to lie about being harmed. For example, if Abigail brushes against her, she will scream out that her sister hurt her. Recently, I walked her back to her room. I lightly touched her shoulder and told her she needed to go into her room until she could be nice. She ran, slid across the floor, then exclaimed "You threw me into my room!" which couldn't be farther from the truth.
Abigail: "Hannah, you can't say things like that! You could get Mommy in trouble!"
Hannah: "No I won't."
Abigail: "If you tell someone that happened, they won't know you are lying, and you would have to live somewhere else."
Hannah: "Can I live with Poppy?"
Abigail: "No, Hannah. It would be with STRANGERS!"
Hannah: (after a brief pause) "Well, I hope they have a puppy."
Me: (Jerking around to look at her, with my mouth open. Ready to exclaim "Hannah!!!!")
Hannah: "Just kidding!!"

Today I am grateful for vacuumed carpets.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday February 29, 2008
"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end."

Today I am grateful for tea with Mom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday February 28, 2008
A quick shot of the snow yesterday---and more came overnight. Another "no school day" for the girls and an opportunity for sledding, visiting Golday's, and a hot chocolate treat. If you know me, you know I love to stay inside and watch the snow, a perfect excuse not to leave my house. Here's proof that I left yesterday. If I were to tell the whole story, I'd also have to admit that I only walked down the front porch to attempt a quick picture of the woodpecker that continues to hang out at Mom and Dad's house.

Today I am grateful for an almost complete to do list.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday February 27, 2008
At last! Snow! It was in the forecast, but I've grown accustomed to the disappointment of it never really adding up to much this winter. Snow started last night, and by tonight there is about seven inches outside. No school today, and closed tomorrow. I've waited for this snow for months, and nothing could make me happier. On top of that, the birds are still here.

Today I am grateful for a surprise visit from a very enthusiastic college student.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday February 26, 2008
As we continue to have above normal temperatures, the birds are really making themselves known. Dad put the feeders out-- and we have seen doves, blue jays, cardinals, and even daily visits from a woodpecker.

Today I am grateful for spring soccer news.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday February 25, 2008
"Take action every day - some small dose at a time."

Memory Monday:
If there is one single sentence I will always remember Dad saying when I was young, it is this:
"You ain't big as a handful of minutes" as he put his hands around my waist.

Today I am grateful for dragons and fantasy.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday February 24, 2008
It's All Abigail:   When children say the wrong word, it's often very funny, and we have laughed many times with both girls over the years. At Hannah's age, if she says a word incorrectly, we usually correct her, but sometimes they are just too cute and we let her go. Abigail, older and wiser, will just look at me and smile, sometimes whispering "that's so cute". This time the tables were turned.
Abigail: "Mommy, look at our hands from the bath. They look like prumes!"
Me: (noticing Abigail had said the wrong word) "Wow!! Hannah, what happened to your hands?"
Hannah: "They look like prunes!!"
Me: "Hannah, tell your sister what your hands look like."
Hannah: "Puffer, they look like prunes!"
Abigail: (looking at me smiling, she heard the word Hannah used)
Me: "Puff, did you hear what your sister said?"
Abigail: "Yes, that's so cute, she said prunes."
Me: "And what did you say?"
Abigail: "Prumes!"
Me: "Guess what? This time sister is right. It really is prunes, not prumes!!!"
Abigail: (eyes huge, practically speechless, she busted out laughing)

Today I am grateful for youth church and daisies.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday February 23, 2008
Hannah-ism:   Recently, Hannah has been asking to hear different stories about the past. She always starts with the same question, and I know what type story she means.
Hannah: "Mommy, tell me a story."
Me: "What do you want to hear?"
Hannah: "About you. A long time ago."
Me: "A long time ago, I had a job."
Hannah: "What job was it?"
Me: "It was called district manager, and I had to supervise stores in different states. It was fun because they gave me a car and I stayed in lots of different hotels."
Hannah: "Did you have kids?"
Me: "No, honey, that was before I even met Daddy. I lived alone and moved a lot."
Hannah: "Oh, if it was a long time ago, that could have been when we had George Washington."

Today I am grateful for cuddle time stories.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday February 22, 2008
"The Study of a Woman's Hands" by Leornardo Da Vinci-- this is an image that evokes many thoughts. What do you think when you see it?

Today I am grateful for art.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday February 21, 2008
"There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down -- until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living."

Today I am grateful for free spirits.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday February 20, 2008
"Joy, sorrow, tears, lamentation, laughter -- to all these music gives voice, but in such a way that we are transported from the world of unrest to a world of peace, and see reality in a new way, as if we were sitting by a mountain lake and contemplating hills and woods and clouds in the tranquil and fathomless water."

Today I am grateful for music.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday February 19, 2008
Although my cold seems to be getting worse, it's still just a cold. I don't feel well, but yet I am happy. For the first time in years, I am sick like a normal person. It's not an illness that forces me to see yet another doctor or flags me for another test or surgery.
Everything is just a matter of perspective.

Today I am grateful for a cold.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday February 18, 2008
Puff is the only healthy one in the house. Of the three left, I am the least sick. That's almost unheard of around here, and I am glad I actually lasted almost a week before catching it. Frank has been the worst, with a terrible sinus headache and cold. By this evening he is finally feeling better. Hannah missed school today, just so I could keep her dosed up and let her rest.

Memory Monday:
When I was young, my best friend Shelia lived within walking distance. We created our own club, and decided to name it the "Happiness Club". My brother Dean asked if he could join, and we decided he would have to pass an entrance test. We pointed to the locust tree beside the swingset and told him that there was one leaf marked...and he had to find it. In the end, I guess we really didn't want him to join, because we gave him a very difficult task--especially if you know what locust leaves look like. And no, he didn't find it.
Sorry Dean!

Today I am grateful for almonds.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday February 17, 2008
"When you cannot make up your mind between two evenly balanced courses of action, choose the bolder."

Today I am grateful for afternoon naps for the sick in our house.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday February 16, 2008
I think there's a slight problem with our weather forecast this week....
This seems a little too hot.

Today I am grateful for daily Mcvities.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday February 15, 2008
It's All Abigail:   Abigail draws very well, and has high standards for "her art". She had to make a poster for a school project and believed her picture of Benjamin Franklin didn't look right.
Abigail: "He looks like a girl!"
Me: "Honey, you drew him straight from the picture, and it looks just like him."
Abigail: "I don't like it."
Hannah: "Puffer, it looks good! Mommy even told you that!"
Abigail: "She's just trying to be supportive, Hannah."

Today I am grateful for memory foam.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday February 14, 2008
"The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time."

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today I am grateful for parents who still love each other, after 45 years.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday February 13, 2008
Some of the perennials are starting to come back to life throughout the yard as a result of the high temperatures we have been experiencing. For every high, we dip to an extreme low--we've had such erratic weather all winter, and the plants are confused. It's still too early in the year to count on spring. March can be a real snow month for this area.

Today I am grateful for a few fluffy snowflakes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday February 12, 2008
Please say a prayer for a very special young girl, Rachel. If His will, she needs God's intervention, in a big way.

Today I am grateful for my own healthy children.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday February 11, 2008
"The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started."

Memory Monday:
I was eighteen years old when my youngest brother was born. One morning I was asleep in my bedroom, and my mom came in. She slid him in bed with me, so I could snuggle up with my little brother. I can still clearly remember curling around that warm little baby, packed tight in his diaper and snap together pajamas.

Today I am grateful for sunshine.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday February 10, 2008
I have built a fire almost every day this winter. I enjoy the sounds of the wood burning, and watching the flames dance. On more than one occasion, the heat has been so intense that simply moving the wood around would almost burn the backs of my fingers. A couple of times I have moved a piece of wood and inadvertently touched a spot that was still hot, and burned myself.

It's during those times that I can't even imagine the pain that the little four-year old felt, who was burned over his face, neck, shoulder and arm. I hurt for him...for his suffering, his loss of innocence, the torturous medical procedures he had to endure. The little boy, as he grew through his teens and into adulthood, had two choices: he could hide away, his life defined by his scars, or he could hold his head high, and face the world with strength and confidence.

He chose the latter.

And I had the privilege of meeting the little boy, now a man....and I married him. He's the only man in the world who I have given all of myself to-- because I knew it was safe, he was strong enough. He was the one, and always will be.

Today I am grateful for finding love in unexpected places.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday February 9, 2008
Hannah-ism:   We were driving to Bluefield and Abigail started asking about the election.
Abigail: "Who is running for President?"
Me: "Soon it will come down to two people, but right now we don't know for sure."
Abigail: "Is a girl running?"
Me: "Yes, there is a lady who wants to be President."
Hannah: "What's her name?"
Me: "Hillary Clinton."
Hannah: "Are you going to vote for her?"
Me: "Well, we don't know if she will end up in the final two. I will vote for the person that comes closest to believing what we believe."
Hannah: "Like...Does she believe in ghosts?"

Today I am grateful for soft sweaters.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday February 8, 2008
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

Today I am grateful for lampe berger fragrances.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday February 7, 2008
Test result day.
Infection? negative
Cultures? negative
FISH? negative

No bladder cancer this time.
In the words of my friend Larry, "Hey cancer, go FISHing!"

I went into the office today, feeling pretty confident that I would test negative this time. What I didn't anticipate was how I would feel afterwards. Am I happy? Absolutely. But it also feels very surreal. For seven years I have had something over my head, in my future, or on the calendar. As of this moment, other than my regular allergy injections, I have nothing pending medically. Nothing. No more surgeries being discussed or scheduled. No more follow-up testing with possible recurrence issues. No more "waiting" on what the next step will be or when I'll get an answer. Since I'm on a two year schedule now for my regular cancer scans, I don't even have those this year. I have learned to deal with "my normal" and the conditions I have that require management, not a cure.

Today I am grateful for the word "no" and all the good it can represent.
Thank you God, for your mercy and grace.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday February 6, 2008
My youngest cat, Sable, loves to play fetch. He has his "favorite" mouse, the blue one that is now practically fur-free. He brings the mouse to me, and if I don't respond, he will meow until I do. I spent a huge part of my day throwing a mouse throughout the house, just to make a little kitty happy.

Today I am grateful for rain and wind chimes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday February 5, 2008
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."

Today I am grateful for challenging work, accomplished.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday February 4, 2008
The groundhog saw his shadow, and today it hit seventy degrees! Tomorrow's forecast is the same. Although I love these temperatures, I like them when Spring is really here, and not at random times throughout the winter. I really want a big snow....

Memory Monday:
In elementary school, we lived in a small house on Edgewater Drive, next door to Mom-maw and Pop. Any time Mom-maw would leave to go into town, Dean and I would always whisper in her ear and ask her to "bring us a surprise". You know what? She always did.
Thanks, Mom-maw.

Today I am grateful for fresh air.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday February 3, 2008
"Once the 'what' is decided, the 'how' always follows. We must not make the 'how' an excuse for not facing and accepting the 'what.' "

Today I am grateful for Dad's return to the pulpit.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday February 2, 2008
If you planted hope today
in any hopeless heart,
If someone's burdens were lighter
because you did your part,
If you caused a laugh
that chased a tear away,
If tonight your name is mentioned
a when someone kneels to pray,
Then your day was well spent.

Today I am grateful for red velvet.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday February 1, 2008
I'm putting today's entry up early this morning, to remind everyone that today is National Red Day.
Heart disease, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases are the number one killer of American women.
Click the logo for more info, and have a healthy heart!!


Today I am grateful for a no school, stay inside day, and the color red.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday January 31, 2008
"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be."

Today I am grateful for Crystal's smile.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday January 30, 2008
In contrast to the unseasonably warm temperatures in November and early December, we've now been seeing very low temperatures here. Teens and single digits, even below zero a week ago--it's been cold for us. My fibromyalgia has been a beast the past few weeks, and I am sure the weather is a factor. It hits me harder in the evening, and I am spending time laying on the floor or couch to try and relax the muscles.

Today I am grateful for a wrap with extra cheese.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday January 29, 2008
"Be where you are. Otherwise you will miss your life."

Today I am grateful for a day spent with Frank.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday January 28, 2008
Dad's physical therapy went well, and he was put on a bike today. His range of motion is greatly improved and he is now getting better every day. This time, he drove, I didn't. Things are returning more to "normal" slowly but surely.

Memory Monday:
In our youth, it was safe for us to ride our bikes up and down Edgewater Drive. There were never any safety concerns, and the freedom was something I wish my own children could experience. It would be impossible to even consider letting them leave our driveway, and even that has to be monitored.
Dean and I didn't have money often, but one summer day we had a little bit of change between us. We were out on our bikes, and decided we would bury the money. Then, when we really wanted to get a drink some time, we could dig it up.We found a mud puddle at the edge of the Dilda Dairy (the mom and pop version of a Dairy Queen or Tastee Freeze), and placed our coins deep into the mud. It would dry, and some day we could have a little treat. By that, we meant share a small coke.
We continued riding our bikes, circling the mud puddle and never straying too far from it.
In less than an hour, we retrieved the money. We just couldn't wait.

Today I am grateful for McDonalds with Dad.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday January 27, 2008
"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."

Today I am grateful for new loads of wood, covered in bark.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday January 26, 2008
It's All Abigail, with a Hannah-ism ending:    The girls were playing with Hannah's Craftsman tool bench and tools today. This was minutes after they were dressed as cowgirls and princesses. They love both extremes, girlie and tomboy, although Abigail is more girlie and Hannah has the tomboy gene. Abigail was wearing safety glasses and using a pretend circular saw, that makes a realistic noise.
Abigail: "You should never get near a saw. It could cut you in half."
Hannah: (in an exasperated tone) "Puffer...I know these things."

Today I am grateful for Silver.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday January 25, 2008
Today I attended a double wedding. There was a special seat reserved just for me. In attendance were Chocolate, Sleepy Bear, and Black Bear. Leah and Wolly were married first, followed by Lemon and Cherry. Abigail officiated the ceremony, and her vows included the line "Do you accept...as your lovely wedded wife?" She edited the traditional vows as she pleased. Hannah was in charge of gift bags. Everyone in attendance received a special bag of toys and surprises. The grooms gave their new wives beautiful jewelry. Lemon gave cherry a teddy bear necklace, as you can see in this wedding photo, set up by Abigail.

After I left, the other guests were still enjoying the reception, full of games and more fun.

I'm optimistic about Lemon and Cherry, since they're both snakes. Leah is a leopard and Wolly is a koala, so I can only hope she doesn't eat her husband on their honeymoon.

Today I am grateful for creative minds and simplistic fun. No ipod, DVD, or computer necessary.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday January 24, 2008
Sometimes, no words are required. Let this image stir your own thoughts.



Today I am grateful for family.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday January 23, 2008
"A man can do only what he can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day."

Today I am grateful for the bright red cardinal that flew by me as I left the hospital.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday January 22, 2008
It's been three months since I tested positive for bladder cancer. After my surgery, I had to wait this amount of time before repeating the test. Bladder cancer is monitored in three month intervals as a general protocol. Tomorrow I will go for the repeat FISH test, but results will not come for about two weeks. It's a sophisticated test, and has to be sent off for screening.
It's been a busy three months, and with the holidays and tonsillectomy, I haven't spent much time wondering if I am still cancer positive. I'm in a good place.

Today I am grateful for nighttime laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday January 21, 2008
"Well chosen words mixed with measured emotions are the basis of affecting people."

Memory Monday:
My Mom made Barbie clothes for my dolls. Not just a simple skirt, not just one piece. She made a lot, and they were exquisitely tailored from scraps of fabric she had on hand. I can still see my favorite outfit--a turquoise and white tweed-look pant suit. All those tiny snaps, straps, and more.
Sometimes it takes years to fully realize the effort that went into things our Moms did for us. As a child, I'm sure I thanked her, and loved them all. As an adult I see the work, the time, the love put into every stitch. And I also know that not all mothers made Barbie clothes...but mine did. I love you for that, Mom.

Today I am grateful for Veggie Tale Sing Alongs.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday January 20, 2008
I realize this is coming from nowhere, but I have to share it. We all get tons of spam, but in November I received an email with the most outrageous subject line I had ever seen. It was so "out there" that I kept it until today. This is it:

Pocket Mosquito Milk Table Sandpaper Record Cave

HUH?

And guess who has two missing front teeth now? I pulled the second top one just minutes ago.

Today I am grateful for a crackling fire while it is five degrees outside.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday January 19, 2008
It's that time again--taxes. Time to add up itemizations, including medical expenses and medical miles. My calendar is marked with all appointments, tests, etc. After going through the year, I have discovered that my family had 123 appointments in 2007. Over one hundred were mine. I spent more than three months, over one-third of the year, visiting doctors, having tests, or surgeries. No wonder I felt like I was always at the doctor in 2007. The numbers validate it, and honestly, they seem overwhelming.

My goal for 2008? I don't want to have 100 appointments this year, and I would love to go thirty days without seeing the inside of a doctors office or hospital.

Today I am grateful for window candles.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday January 18, 2008
"Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it."

Today I am grateful for a husband who will get wood for me any time I ask.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday January 17, 2008
We had a snow storm come in and school was closed today. Abigail busied herself making clubhouses with blankets, so that they had multiple "rooms" to play in throughout the day. Hannah was walking down the hall carrying a small pad and pen.

Hannah-ism:
Me: "What are you writing?"
Hannah: "I'm making my like list."
Me: "What's that?"
Hannah: "It's a list of who I like and love!"
I didn't ask to see it or give her any input. Later in the afternoon, she gave me this.

Today I am grateful for dvd rooms and lots of blankets.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday January 16, 2008
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."

This has a great message, and I wanted to share it with you--

Everyone respects and helps the millionaire, the famous, the boss, those with beauty and brains.
What about the bum on the street?
I was parked in front of the church cleaning out my Jeep. I was waiting on someone.
Coming my way from across the street was what society would consider a bum.
From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that you just don't want to be bothered.
This was one of those "don't want to be bothered times."
"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.
He didn't.
He came and sat on the wall in front of the bus stop to wait on the bus.
After a few minutes he spoke.
"That's a very pretty Jeep," he said.
He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard keep more than his face warm. I said, "thanks," and continued cleaning out the Jeep.
He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came.
As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if he needs any help."
I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true to the inner voice.
"Do you need any help?" I asked.
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget.
We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand.
He spoke the three words that shook me.
"Don't we all?" he said.
I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge shotgun.
Don't we all?
I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help.
I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare, but enough to take a cab anywhere in the city and get food and shelter for the day.
Those three little words still ring true.
No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too.
No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.
Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that.
You never know when you may see someone who appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets.
Maybe he was more than that.
Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves.
Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, "go minister to that man cleaning the Jeep, that man needs help."
Don't we all?

Today I am grateful for laughter with Mom.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday January 15, 2008
"There are two ways to live life- one as if nothing is a miracle and one as if everything is."

Don't miss the small wonders of life all around you, just take the time to look.

Today I am grateful for jackets with hoods.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday January 14, 2008
I've been driving Dad to physical therapy (and Mom), and we went back again today. Dad is doing well, and I am glad that I am able to do something to help them. We've had a nice time together, just the three of us.

Memory Monday:
Our childhood entertainment consisted of simpler toys and a lot of outside play time. Dad had brought home a very large truck tire, so large that one of us could get inside and "ride". Often, we were in the flat back yard. I would get inside and Dean would balance the tire upright and roll me along. Then it was his turn to ride, and I pushed. To add to the excitement, we decided to try the front yard. It was sloped, and we could get in, get a push from the other and roll down the hill. The key was for the non-rider to run alongside and push the tire over at the end of the hill. Doing so would stop the ride, and prevent the other from rolling on down into the road. It was so much fun! Then, on one of Dean's turns, I, uh, didn't tip him over in time. Rather than seeing grass and sky go by, he also saw asphalt. Oops!!

Today I am grateful for big white snowflakes.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday January 13, 2008
"People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning."

Today I am grateful for feeling light rain drops on my hand as I reached into the fireplace.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday January 12, 2008


2008 Komen 3 Day Walk Schedule:
Chicago- August 8-10, 2008
Boston- August 15-17, 2008
Cleveland- August 22-24, 2008
San Francisco Bay Area- September 5-7, 2008
Seattle- September 12-14, 2008
Twin Cities- September 19-21, 2008
Michigan- September 26-28, 2008
Washington, DC- October 3-5, 2008
Philadelphia- October 17-19, 2008
Atlanta- October 24-26, 2008
Tampa Bay- October 31 - November 2, 2008
Dallas/Fort Worth- November 7-9, 2008
Arizona- November 14-16, 2008
San Diego- November 21-23, 2008



2008 Avon 2 Day Walk Schedule:
Houston- April 12 - 13, 2008
Washington, DC- May 3 - 4, 2008
Boston- May 17 - 18, 2008
Chicago- May 31 - June 1, 2008
Rocky Mountains- June 28 - 29, 2008
San Francisco- July 12 - 13, 2008
Los Angeles- September 13 - 14, 2008
New York- October 4 - 5, 2008
Charlotte- October 25 - 26, 2008

If you've been with me here any length of time, you know that the 3 Day will always hold a very special place in my heart. It owns a piece of my heart. I participated for as many years as physically possible, then transitioned to the 2 Day walk. The 2 Day is also a wonderful experience, and as I walked for the fifth year, the moment of completion and hearing "Proud" being played as we entered the stadium, took those final steps...it's a memory that will never be clouded in my mind. Today, I still get chills picturing the Avon crowd cheering, the feeling of satisfaction and also disbelief that I actually walked the entire distance.

To those of you that walk, I thank you. And if you have never taken part in one of these events, please try it. For one year. It's an emotional experience unlike anything you have ever known. And somehow, I don't think you'll stop at just one. It will grab your heart--that's a promise.



Today I am grateful for walkers, crew, and supporters.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday January 11, 2008
It's All Abigail:   Utility rates continue to increase, and at this time of year, you probably DON'T want this to happen:
Abigail: "Guess what I did this morning?"
Me: "What?"
Abigail: "I turned on every single light in the house, even my closet."
Me: "Really? Why did you do that?"
Abigail: "So it would be nice and bright everywhere!"

Abigail: "Guess what else I did?"
Me: "I don't know....what else?"
Abigail: "I opened both of my windows so Sable and Silver could smell the air."

It was thirty four degrees outside. I think I still hear the electrical meter whirring....

Today I am grateful for a quickly reheated house.
Thank you God, for another day.

Thursday January 10, 2008
"The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them."

Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday January 9, 2008
Hannah-ism:   By chance the television was on Sunday morning before Church. Usually it's just left off, as we are busy with breakfast and getting ready. Being a Sunday, there happened to be religious programming airing. Hannah walked through the living room, and stopped as she noticed the man speaking.
Hannah: "Finally, something on tv about Jesus!"

Today I am grateful for hard earned Master Clubs badges.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday January 8, 2008
"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth."

One week ago it was one degree outside, and today it was sixty-five! The weekend forecast is for low thirties and snow. This erratic weather has been going on for months. I am so ready to see a good six inches or more of snow-- as long as we don't lose our electricity!

Today I am grateful for getting back to therapy, after a six week forced break.
Thank you God, for another day.

Monday January 7, 2008
I've been giving a lot of thought recently to just how much our children's world has changed from the world I grew up in. Ours was a simpler, safer life. My childhood is full of wonderful memories. Some may be special just to me, and others may resonate with some of you.

The background? I was born in England. My mother is British and my Dad was in the Air Force. I have a brother a year younger than I am who was also born in England. After coming to the United States, Michael was born (eleven years younger) and Stephen (eighteen years younger than I). With this age difference, most of my own childhood memories involve one sibling, Dean.

We grew up poor, so we are told. (As an adult, knowing the details now, I realize this was very true) My parents were masters at not letting us "feel" poor, and we were blissfully unaware of the financial struggles and hardships they faced. I will forever respect and be grateful that they sheltered us, and we were allowed to "just be kids".

Memory Monday:
It seemed that all of the kids had ten-speed bikes. Dean and I both wanted one, but didn't think we would be upgrading our simple, completely functional bikes we already owned. Mom and Dad told us that we could each get one, when "the tax money" came. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The bikes came, shiny and new--but there was a layer of snow outside. That didn't stop Dad...he loaded our new bikes in the car, drove us to the school parking lot, and let us ride as long as we wanted. He stood in the cold and watched us, and he never complained. What a great day.

Today I am grateful for "mommy and me" days.
Thank you God, for another day.

Sunday January 6, 2008
"If you must begin then go all the way, because if you begin and quit, the unfinished business you have left behind begins to haunt you all the time."

Today I am grateful for generosity.
Thank you God, for another day.

Saturday January 5, 2008
Among the gifts from Santa was a set of two way radios for the girls. They love them, running around playing spy and other games. I told them about being young and having a cb radio, and using a "handle". Even though these radios are only to communicate with each other, they decide to chose nicknames. With no input, and keeping in mind that they rarely eat candy, here are the girls radio names:
Hannah- "oreo crumb"
Abigail- "chocolate lips"

Today I am grateful for a much needed trip to WalMart.
Thank you God, for another day.

Friday January 4, 2008
Because I just have to tell on him---
Abigail had an adhesive 4x6 magnet that she used to attach a photo and display on the refrigerator. She chose a picture of herself at nine months old. It's one of my favorite shots, because it's full face and she is wearing one of my favorite sweaters. She's all cheeks and brown eyes.
Frank came home from work yesterday, and walked into the kitchen. He had just noticed the new addition to the refrigerator, and he called out, "Whose kid is this?"
"Uh, Frank, it's yours....."

Today I am grateful for laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.

MEDICAL NEWS:
Former Olympic gold medalist Dorothy Hamill is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. Hamill said in a statement Friday that she is being treated at the Kimmel Cancer Center at Johns Hopkins. The prognosis is favorable, but the 51-year-old Hamill said she will miss some of the "Broadway on Ice" tour while she is having treatment.

Thursday January 3, 2008
As I write this, it is four degrees outside--and dropping. A winter storm came in Tuesday evening, and although we didn't get as much snow as predicted, school was closed today. It is simply frigid outside.
By the way, it is supposed to be 56 degrees on Monday! These roller coaster temps have been going on for months now, but this is the lowest it's been in a long time.

The good news--Dad came home this evening, and hopefully he (and Mom) can get some real rest at home.

Today I am grateful for finding "sleepy bear" tucked in my bed.
Thank you God, for another day.

Wednesday January 2, 2008
Dad had his right knee replaced today, and by afternoon I was able to speak with him and his spirits were high. He had already been up and walking, and will come home tomorrow. He has been in so much pain, and I really believe this will make him feel so much better.

Today I am grateful for successful surgery.
Thank you God, for another day.

Tuesday January 1, 2008
"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."

A new year, a new look...to me it feels fresh and alive. I hope you like it!!

Today I am grateful for snow.
Thank you God, for another day.

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