Below, you may view my personal journal for 2007 along with my preparation for and participation in the Tazewell County Relay
For Life.
For my complete story of breast cancer during pregnancy, click here
To view other years journals and return to the main page, click here
CAROLYNN'S CREW WAS AN OFFICIAL SPONSOR OF THIS YEAR'S EVENT! click here to view shirt back
For our Crew, we had this sleeve imprint done.
Carolynn's Crew:
Carolynn Johnson
Kelle Merritt
Diane Jones
Abigail Johnson
Hannah Johnson
Frank Johnson
June Trent
Chuck Trent
Crystal Taylor
Curt Taylor
Connie McGuire
Vivian Blankenship
Penny Muten, Team Project Coordinator
Penny is also participated in the Danskin Women's Triathlon
Carolynn's Crew Germany, Race For The Cure:
Alex Mamet, Team Captain
THE JOURNAL most recent entries at the top
SITE FEATURE:
GOOGLE SEARCH OPTIONS are on all pages within the site. Not only can you use Google as a general
search engine, you can use it to find topics within the website itself. This will enable you to locate specific entries and subject
matter within seconds.
CLICK PURPLE LINKS TO VIEW PHOTOS, ETC
Monday December 31, 2007
Another year is gone. As children, we were told that time passes faster as you age. We never believed it, but oh how
true it really is--as I sit here now forty-four years old.
Looking back at the year, I have to acknowledge that 2007 was the most difficult year I've experienced. It surpassed the
year of chemo. During that year, I had a plan. I was on a mission. I saw a beginning and an end--and I dug my heels in and fought
for my life and that of my unborn child.
In the years since, I have been blindsided by illness, surgeries, recurrence possibilities, and everything else I hadn't
"planned for". For the first few years, I was determined to overcome it all. I believed if I pushed myself enough, I would be
back and better than ever. Over time, I realized this was not to be.
What made this year the most challenging? I think it was the sheer number of illnesses and infections. The number of problems
that went without answers. I spent almost the entire year on antibiotics. It wore my body down...and each time I seemed to
sink lower physically. My calendar was full of doctor's appointments, tests, and medicine changes. I remember the nerve conduction
studies, mris, and ekgs. I remember the ct scans, the ivps, the numerous blood tests. I remember the call I took
in WalMart's parking lot...when I was told there was a mass on my adrenal gland. I remember the neuropathy I began to experience,
and the problems I had with my left elbow, neck, and shoulder blades. I remember the months of physical therapy. I remember the
times my stomach hurt so bad that I counted down the hours until I could just go to bed, and wish another day away. I remember
the bladder cancer test that came back positive (as I still await my final test result or possible diagnosis). I remember having
two surgeries in two months, and as I write this I am still trying to recover from the toll they have taken on my body.
Do you know what else I can say about 2007? It was also the year that I have learned much, conquered much, trusted God more.
It has been my most fulfilling year in ways perhaps few are aware of. I have learned more about who I am. Who I can be. What
counts. And what isn't worth the time. And for the work I've done, I can say I am proud.
In 2007, God has continued to show me mercy. To date, I have lost count of the number of times I have been "rescued" from
what seemed to be cancer recurrence or relapse. The mass on the adrenal gland? Gone. The bladder cancer diagnosis? With a 95%
accuracy rate, I tested positive. In surgery, however, random biopsies were proven benign. In three weeks, I will be tested
again. I'm a winner either way....if negative, praise be to God. If positive, praise God for infections that prompted testing
for the earliest detection possible. And the tonsillectomy that was supposed to be brutal? It was difficult, but I never
truly suffered from throat pain.
Perhaps one of God's greatest gifts to me as a result of my illness-- in 2007 I continued to see the beauty around me. I took
just a little longer to watch the leaves blow. Just a little longer to pause and feel the breeze on my face. A little longer
to study the flowers that bloomed outside, the color of my children's eyes, the feel of Frank's hand, the sound of my cats
as they purr. A little longer to study the bark before I placed another log on the fire...and a little longer to appreciate
that I am still alive.
I look toward 2008 with optimism, gratitude, faith and love.
Today I am grateful for laugh filled telephone rants, and the lighthearted feeling that follows.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thank you God, for another year.
Sunday December 30, 2007 Hannah-ism: I was changing Hannah's earrings for her this morning. The left one is sometimes a little
sore, so I did it first. It hurt her a little, then the right earring went in with no problem. She stood up, smiling.
Hannah: "That was a piece of cake."
(brief pause)
Hannah: "But that first one was just half a piece!!"
Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 29, 2007
"The great man is he who does not lose his childlike heart."
Today I am grateful for spiderman ziplines.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 28, 2007
Update: I'm just over two weeks post op. Just by looking, my throat appears to be almost completely healed. It does hurt
if I yawn, and my sense of taste is not totally restored. If I speak for long or try to raise my voice, I can feel a bit of
strain. The earaches are mostly gone, and I am no longer running a fever. My stomach is slowly starting to heal, and I have
returned to about 95% of my normal eating habits.
I'm optimistically looking forward to improved health as a result of this surgery.
Today I am grateful for maintaining my allergy shot schedule.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 27, 2007
The girls hit "stimulation overload" today. After non-stop playing with things electronic, action-related, artsy,
and crafty, today they stayed in pajamas and watched dvds.
Today I am grateful for a full wood carrier.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 26, 2007
"Personal development is your springboard to personal excellence. Ongoing, continuous, non-stop personal development
literally assures you that there is no limit to what you can accomplish."
Today I am grateful for hanging out at Mom's house.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 25, 2007
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Abigail was up early and Hannah soon followed. Squeals of delight were echoing through the house. Those smiles
and "This is the best Christmas ever!" exclamations make me happy to be a parent.
"Remember, if Christ isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under the tree."
Today I am grateful for the birth of Christ, and eternal salvation.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 24, 2007
After a wonderful evening spent at my parent's house with my siblings, niece and nephew, we returned home in time for
the girls to put out reindeer food, and then milk and cookies for Santa. We sat together for family devotion, and to discuss
the most important part of Christmas...the celebration of the birth of Christ.
Surprisingly, the girls were fast asleep by nine o'clock.
Today I am grateful for Dad's creativity and vacation "tips".
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 23, 2007
"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."
Today I am grateful for family laughter and shared memories.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 22, 2007
To my delight, the girls slept past normal "school wake up" time. It was quiet in the house and I decided to pause and enjoy.
Rather than get up and deal with "to do" for the day, I sat up and spent some time looking out the windows. From my bed, I
have a beautiful view of a finely aged tree, and beyond that a field and mountainside. I watched as a bird flew by, and then
noticed the animals in the field, eagerly running for their morning meal. Nature is such a beautiful gift from God, and it
really thrills my heart to study it in detail.
I heard some movement and called out--Abigail came in all smiles. She was carrying a little New Testament to read her devotion
for our youth program. I told her to come on in bed with me. Cozy under the duvet, she snuggled close, and started chatting non-stop.
As she spoke, I saw my baby girl, now nine years old. I stroked her hair and touched her face, bringing many memories to mind.
Time passes so quickly. How proud I am of her....
Hannah awoke and walked in. "Come join us" I said, and she jumped in the middle. By now Abigail was ready to get up.
Hannah-ism:
Hannah: "I was just in my bed holding the bear on my face to get warm."
Me: "Are you cold, honey?"
Hannah: "Yeah."
Me: "Come here and snuggle, I'll get you warm."
She eagerly moved close and I wrapped my arms around her.
Hannah: "Woo! You're hot as a pot!"
We laughed and then she asked me if I was going to eat waffles. I told her I probably shouldn't eat them yet, but would
eat a bagel. "I'm going to fix you breakfast in bed, Mommy!" Abigail heard her and said "Me, too!" I agreed that we could all
eat in bed, as long as we left no crumbs on Daddy's side. Hannah proudly busied herself cooking bagels in the toaster oven.
Hannah-ism: She carefully served our breakfast on Christmas plates and climbed in bed.
Hannah: "I gave you a bagel but I couldn't give you gold, frankenstein, and myrrh!"
Today I am grateful for peaceful mornings.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 21, 2007
"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever."
Today I am grateful for answered phone calls.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 20, 2007
A setback. After eight days, my stomach hit its tolerance for meds and foods I am unaccustomed to eating. The last 24 hours
have felt longer than the eight days of surgery recovery. It will pass, and I have no choice but to ride it out.
Today I am grateful for Christmas crafts.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 19, 2007
Post-op: eight days down. My follow-up was today, and Dr. Jabourian said I had done very well, much better
than he anticipated. My scabs have already formed and dropped. The ear pain should diminish in the next couple of days.
I am still at a bleeding risk, so my activity continues to be limited. I have one more day left of the antibiotics. I do still
have a sore throat, of course, and have not fully returned to a regular diet.
Based on the horror stories I was told, I would say this surgery was a difficult one, but NOT like I was told. At no point
did I want to cry or die, LOL.
And remember the Dec. 3 entry?
Note to Google: Don't do that to me the next time I ask you a reasonable question.
Today I am grateful for being closer to the end than the beginning.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 18, 2007
Tomorrow I go back to the doctor, to check the progress of my recovery. It's been a week since surgery, and I've been
home bound the entire time.
Post-op: seven days down. "Less" to go.
It's All Abigail: Frank and I were standing in the kitchen and he was hugging me. Usually the girls fly in,
to make a "family hug".
Abigail: "Ooh, I think I see a place I can get in!"
Me: (whispering to Frank) "Shh, don't move, let's see what she does."
Abigail: "I'm getting in here!"
(still no reply from us)
Abigail: "This must be a romantic moment, I'll leave you alone for a little while."
We ALL busted out laughing!!
Today I am grateful for soft boiled eggs.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 17, 2007
I guess this is hump day. I had to go back to taking the pain meds every four hours. Same type pain as yesterday, but more in
the ears as well. The medication does control the pain pretty well, and I can't complain.
I am glad I had this surgery and have no regrets. The process has not been anything like I expected, or was told.
Hannah-ism: Frank and I were sitting on the couch talking. Our voices were lowered, because we were discussing
Christmas details. Hannah didn't know the topic of conversation, only that our tones were hushed when she walked in.
Hannah: "Oh, I guess you and Daddy are in private talks."
Me: "Private talks?"
Hannah: "Yeah, that's what me and Andrew do at recess. We sit alone and talk about our apartment and stuff."
Post-op: six days down. "Can't be many" to go.
Today I am grateful for a morning nap under the duvet.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 16, 2007
Today my pain seems a bit different. My teeth are sore and I feel more of a muscular ache. I must be clenching my teeth at
night, unknown to me, while I sleep. It could be a subconscious reaction to pain. My throat appears to be
healing okay, but there are times I can't open my mouth enough to speak clearly. The ear pain continues, but not as severe.
I'm managing my liquid/soft food intake, and have lost no weight post surgery as of this morning.
Post-op: five days down. ? to go.
Today I am grateful for a beautiful snowfall today.
Thank you God, for another day.
ADVOCACY NEWS: From Susan G. Komen For The Cure:
Great news! Thanks to the efforts of Champions like you, Congress has passed legislation to extend the Breast Cancer Research
Stamp four more years, through 2011. The House of Representatives passed the bill on Tuesday, and the Senate followed suit
last night. The bill now awaits signature by President Bush. The Breast Cancer Research Stamp is the top-selling commemorative
stamp of all time. Since the program started in July 1998, more than 785 million stamps have been sold, raising more than $58.3 million
for breast cancer research. The extension of the stamp will allow Americans to continue contributing to the fight against
breast cancer and raising awareness about the disease.
Saturday December 15, 2007
Around 5am, I awoke with a painful ear ache. It had also been almost seven hours since I had taken pain medication.
I got up and took the meds and slowly the pain eased to a dull ache. I had been told that I could experience ear pain
as I started to heal, so it didn't come as a big surprise.
I definitely have to limit the amount of conversation I have, but I am taking in liquids steadily. Twice today I enjoyed
a bowl of noodle soup.
Post-op: four days down. ? to go.
Still waiting for that "day (blank) is the worst day of all" that I have been warned about. I'm beginning to wonder if it's actually coming.
Today I am grateful for feeling anxiety free ten days before Christmas.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 14, 2007
What I learned today:
1. Talking too much to your children can make your throat hurt.
2. Breyer's lactose free vanilla ice cream, if eaten slowly in small amounts, is quite tasty.
3. Yogurt whips go down so easy, I think Frank needs to buy some more. The two I had are gone.
4. Campbell's Noodle soup in the package tastes much better than canned chicken noodle soup.
Post-op: three days down. ? to go.
Today I am grateful for finding foods that don't upset my stomach.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 13, 2007
I rested better last night, sleeping as much as an hour or more at a time. I did take pain meds once in the night.
I have had minimal nausea today (without using the phenergan gel). I ate almost a full can of chicken noodle soup, including
the noodles, over the course of two meals. I was also able to eat a yogurt whip, Ensure, gatorade, and my favorite mcvities (soaked
well in tea so they would be very soft).
I took one nap today in the afternoon, and watched tv most of the day. I did take the pain meds at six hour intervals today.
Although this is no walk in the park, I feel like I am doing quite well. I do have some minimal ear pain and can't quite knock
the headache.
So now I wonder about the "worst time is 4-5 days post-op". Time will tell, but I realize I am not out of the woods quite yet.
Post-op: two days down. ? to go.
Today I am grateful for Jill's virtual popsicles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 12, 2007
Last night we ran the humidifier by the bed, and I had water on the nightstand. A couple times I slept for 45 minutes, and most
of the rest of the night I slept in seven to ten minute increments. That's actually a good thing in my mind, because I was able to
keep my throat moist. I could tell when the pain meds were approaching four hours, because my headache would worsen and my throat
would get a bit more sore. I took it at four hour intervals throughout the night, from 7:30pm til morning.
Since we weren't home until late, Frank decided to take today off, not knowing for sure how I would fare. I felt more comfortable
having him here with me. He's always my "best medicine". I drank some Ensure, tried some chicken broth, gatorade pops, and
jello. By afternoon I was extremely nauseous. That was much worse than the throat pain. Frank called the nurse.
Shortly after, Dr. Jabourian called me. He was surprised that my level of throat pain wasn't as high as he anticipated, and
gladly called in phenergan gel for me.
By bedtime, I've stretched the pain meds to five-six hours instead of four and the nausea has lessened. My throat is swollen
and at times it is difficult to breathe, but overall I'm doing better than I anticipated.
Post-op: one day down. ? to go.
Today I am grateful for a husband who takes great care of me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 11, 2007
I had to be at the hospital at 11am, and was expected in surgery by noon. There was some sort of emergency, and I wasn't taken
down until 12:40, and laid in the OR holding room until about 1:15. I heard discussions of canceled surgeries and who was left.
I prayed they weren't going to come tell me I would have to reschedule. Soon Dr. Jabourian came by and I knew it was a go.
They did the usual meds, and just as I was drifting off I realized they were putting a bp cuff on my left arm. I had a band
that said "no sticks or bp" but it was overlooked. I vaguely remember asking if that was a bp cuff they just used and telling them
"get it off, get it off". It wasn't on long enough for my arm to go numb, and they moved it to the other side. As usual, the next thing
I remember was waking up in recovery.
My throat did hurt, and it was difficult to swallow. What bothered me more was my neck and back. (I really don't want to give much
thought into what position I was in for this surgery) I also had a major headache, and stomach upset.
It wasn't long before I was brought back upstairs, where I started eating ice chips and trying to drink the protein water
we had brought with us. Carbonated drinks are something I can't tolerate, so I wanted to be prepared with my own liquids.
I still had IV fluids, but at 6pm, they unhooked everything and I was released. I have two prescriptions--an antibiotic, and a
liquid pain medication (lortab). I will take it every four hours as prescribed, rather than wait until it's too late to
control pain levels.
It's 7:30pm, and I'm headed to bed for the night. My throat hurts, but the pain at the moment is not at the levels I expected.
Today I am grateful for another surgery behind me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 10, 2007
At last the time has come. Tomorrow is surgery day. At this point, I just want to get it done and move on.
The last few days have been long. I have been battling sinus issues, sore throat and a low-grade fever. In addition,
I'm in the middle of a pretty bad fibromyalgia flare up. The upside of this is that because I feel pretty lousy, it makes
me really look forward to the benefits of having this surgery behind me.
I am now scheduled for the sixth surgery tomorrow. Five children are ahead of me, and I don't have to be there until 11am.
Surgery should take place at noon, if all goes as planned. I don't expect to be home until late.
I really don't know how long I will be offline. My focus will be to heal, follow the doctors orders, and try to keep my nutrition
in check. I will post updates as soon as I am able.
By tonight I'm feeling calm and ready. I ask that you pray there are no complications, and the recovery go well.
Thank you for the emails and words of concern and caring.
Dean, thanks for your phone calls. I feel loved when you call me "sissy". It means more than you know.
Hannah-ism: Hannah was leading the way up the steps after school, and was first in the door. With that toothless
smile, she wrapped her arms around my waist.
Hannah: "Hey there, surgery girl!"
Today I am grateful for inner peace.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for the girls' "stuffed animal" tree.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 8, 2007
Special thanks for this award to my long time friend Penny.
You make me smile.
Today I am grateful for a small hand rubbing my forehead, without prompting.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 7, 2007
I went for my pre-op testing today and am now cleared for surgery on Tuesday. I'm ready to get going with it.
THANK YOU Cindy for the idea of gatorade pops! I can water the gatorade down some and be able to tolerate that.
Today I am grateful for afternoon rain and a hooded jacket.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 6, 2007
I just heard a more subtle musical version of this song and it was fabulous.
All the colors of the rainbow
All of voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the Hope in every heart will speak what love has done
Today I am grateful for a warm fleece top.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 5, 2007
Because of the stomach issues I have, I need to prepare my body for surgery. I want to introduce some liquids and nutritional
supplements slowly in order to be able to tolerate them. I cannot eat ice cream and popsicles.
What have I learned so far?
1. Chocolate probably masks flavor better than any other, but I haven't had anything chocolate in fourteen years.
2. Strawberry Ensure is nasty.
3. Strawberry Ensure over crushed ice, if sipped slowly, is tolerable.
Today I am grateful for the surprise of a "free" day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 4, 2007
"Challenge everything you do. Expand your thinking. Refocus your efforts. Rededicate yourself to your future."
Today I am grateful for ladies group fellowship.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 3, 2007
Last Tuesday I was finally pronounced "infection free". On Thursday I had a sore throat, ear pain, and a cough.
I hoped it was just a cold, but rather than get better, various places appeared in my throat again.
Today I went back to Dr. Jabourian. The good news? I don't have another case of strep. The not so good news? I have a problem with one
tonsil and ongoing infection. I will deal with it the rest of my life if I don't have my tonsils removed. There's only one
right answer here, and I know it. I will have a tonsillectomy next Tuesday.
I am shocked at how many people have told me adults have a very hard time with this particular surgery. Nurses tell me.
Even the doctor said it would be brutal for seven to ten days. I've had a lot of surgery and it seems strange that this would
be so difficult to get through. Thinking there are plenty of stories about adults who didn't fair so poorly, I decided to
Google "adult tonsillectomy pain wasnt bad". THIS is what Google had to say in
response. I can do nothing but laugh.
Today I am grateful for six weeks antibiotic free.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for a light rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 1, 2007
A very special message to a very special person...
"I love smurf underoos."
Today I am grateful for lichen on tree bark.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 30, 2007 Hannah-ism: As we walked through the living room, we saw a news story featuring deer.
Hannah: "I'd like to kiss a deer."
Me: "Would you?"
Hannah: (after a long pause) "As long as it wouldn't eat my lips off!"
Today I am grateful for cartoon images.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 29, 2007
Happy 45th Anniversary, Mom & Dad !
Today I am grateful for parents whose love grows every day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 28, 2007 This makes my heart sing.
"All I want for Christmas is my..."
Hannah has a surprise.
Today I am grateful for the sound of wind blowing.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 27, 2007
The test results are back. After thirteen months of various infections, and twelve antibiotics--I have been antibiotic free
for almost five weeks and there appears to be no infection in my body. At last.
Today I am grateful for results I've waited a long time to hear.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 26, 2007
"Spiritual values transcend the material artifacts that we can touch and see. They take us
into the realm of beauty, inspiration and love."
Today I am grateful for the sound of heavy rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 25, 2007
Who's happier?
The uniters or the dividers?
The builders or the breakers?
The givers or the takers?
I think you know the answer.
There's a whole world out there that needs you.
Down the street, or across the ocean...
Give.
Today I am grateful for a surprise Christmas gift.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 24, 2007
On the evening before Thanksgiving, my Dad ("Poppy" to my girls) called the girls up to his office, and said they
were going on an expedition, and maybe some turkey hunting. Later, Frank and I were called to Mom's house to wait.
In they came, with their own turkeys! Abigail's turkey Hannah's turkey Hand made by Hannah We love Poppy!
Today I am grateful for living right beside my parents.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 23, 2007
"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."
Today I am grateful for a wonderful, fantasy filled movie.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving---a day for reflection, family, and so much more.
Hannah-ism: We gathered at the table for breakfast this morning, and held hands to say grace. Before the
prayer, I wanted to say something about the holiday.
Me: "It's Thanksgiving, let's all name something we are thankful for. Daddy, what's one thing you are thankful for?"
Frank: "I'm thankful for this family."
Me: "Ok, Hannah, what are you thankful for?"
Hannah: "I'm thankful that God let Jesus die on the cross so we can go to heaven."
I don't think I can top that one.
Today I am grateful for two daughters who keep Jesus close in mind.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 21, 2007 It's All Abigail:
I wondered when the question would come. Abigail is now nine years old. Today was the day.
Abigail: "Mommy, is Santa real?"
Me: "Santa? Why would you say that?"
Abigail: "Some people say he isn't real."
Me: "Who told you that?"
Abigail: "A lot of people in my class. They said Santa isn't real, it's really your parents."
Me: "I think I want to believe in Santa Claus."
Abigail: "Me too. Besides, with all those presents, it couldn't be your parents, it would cost too much money!!"
Me: "Good point."
She walked away smiling, as I thought to myself..."Hold on to the magic as long as you can, baby girl."
Today I am grateful for holiday excitement.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 20, 2007
I once had a a pillow that said "Dogs are children in fur coats."
Today is for Snoop...the companion animal who never slept until "mommy" closed her eyes and was
safely asleep.
Today I am grateful for animal lovers.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 19, 2007
Happy 20th Anniversary, "Big Daddy Dirt Pile"!
I love you.
Today I am grateful that I can keep my tonsils....for now, anyway.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 18, 2007
Tomorrow I have two doctor appointments. One is with my urologist for the first monthly follow-up. Ideally, I will be
one month infection free. This will mark an entire month without antibiotics in over a year. If so, I don't have to go for
the next check until mid-December. (January is the repeat FISH test to get a definitive "all clear" or the bladder cancer
diagnosis. It's protocol to wait three months before repeating the test once it comes back positive.) I will also see Dr.
Jabourian--the ENT (ear, nose, throat) specialist that has treated my brother Dean extensively and who removed Abigail's
tonsils and adenoids this summer. Within the last few months I have a recurring place in my throat. It always comes in the
exact same place, and two times previous it has been swabbed at the gp and came back negative for strep. Since it has come
up again and appears to be a pattern now, it's time to see what is happening. The urologist has already expressed concern
that I still have my tonsils. I will not be surprised if I am told tomorrow that it's my turn to go under the knife.
Primarily I need to find out what sort of infection continues to make itself known, and what we can do about it.
Today I am grateful for an impromptu fashion show.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 17, 2007
"Put your heart, mind, intellect, and soul even to your smallest acts. This is the secret of success."
Today I am grateful for my friend, "supermom".
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 16, 2007
Her bladder cancer is back. The one I call my "other" Mom. The tumors were removed last time, and today was the
three month follow up scope. We prayed she would be all clear, but there are additional tumors. This time she will
have surgery and then take treatment by filling the bladder with a chemical for two hours, once a week, for six weeks.
This news is not what we wanted, but it is the reality of the situation. I can only pray that the treatments go well, and
the medicine will kill all of the cancer cells, so she doesn't face another recurrence.
It feels a bit surreal, because we have faced the same situation. So far, my results
have been encouraging. At the same time, her news has not been ideal. As she awaits treatment, I await my own three
month window in January to get the all clear or the definitive diagnosis.
Today I am grateful for hope and optimism.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 15, 2007
Last week while driving for normal errands, I saw an area of fall trees that was especially beautiful. It seemed that
some of the trees were even pink. Each time I passed them, I regretted not having my camera with me. I didn't want to miss
getting a permanent reminder of our beautiful fall. Yesterday I took my camera, knowing I would forever regret not getting
"the shot".
I underestimated what it would take, but suffice it to say---after an unexpected power walk close to a mile (wearing LL Bean
gardening shoes no less), someone stopping to check on me (I wonder if they were thinking I was going to jump from the bridge?), a few
random "happy" truck drivers, and a brief conversation with a police officer, I got the shot.
The light wasn't quite right to photograph the colors as they really were, but I can still see those pinks in my mind.
Here's a couple other shots from the same place: more color the horizon
I'm glad I took these, because tonight it looks like this outside!
Today I am grateful for pink trees.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 14, 2007
It was time to winterize the pond, which Frank did yesterday. That meant removing all of the equipment, cutting down and
sinking the water plants. In the process, Frank found a salamander at the pond. Guess which of my girls was eagerly holding it,
fascinated? It's my little tomboy, Hannah.
I've known all summer that I needed to find homes for some of my fish. They've done remarkably well, but the downside is
that they have grown so much that the pond is overcrowded. One of the businesses I frequent said they would take them, and I
knew they would have more room to swim and ultimately it would be best for them and the fish left in my pond.
Although these are fish, in an outdoor pond, I am still bonded to them. I interacted with these fish almost every day. It was
very difficult to choose which ones would go to a new home. I ended up choosing the four that made most sense, primarily based
on size. My mom and dad no longer have their ponds and last year I took a couple of their fish that were "special" to us. One
in particular is named "Trauma" and at ten years old now, there was no way I would give him up, even though he is large.
(There's a big story behind that name and I'll share that later) My new baby, the first baby born in my pond had to stay also.
In addition, I wanted to keep some of my original pond fish that were placed the day we put the pond in a few years ago.
I settled on the four that would be moved, and Frank took them out of the pond at lunch, so I could quickly drive them to
their new home. I reached in and touched each one and said goodbye. Many of you won't "get" that, but I am an animal lover.
These are not disposable creatures or used solely for decoration. In Princeton, I watched them placed in a huge tank, where they will become the store owners personal fish. They swam happily
in the tank, and I left them--but not without sorrow.
I took this after they were placed in the cooler.
For size perspective, I'll tell you that the silver one is over 12" long. He was about 4" when I first got him. I should
say "her" because they think she may be female and perhaps she is the one that gave birth to the baby this year.
Today I am grateful for a family who "get it".
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 13, 2007
"Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to
do what they want to do."
Today I am grateful for the mountain view from my living room.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 12, 2007
A little gift from nature.
Today I am grateful for glitter pens and little girls.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 11, 2007
For years, we have laughed at (and with) my Mom for her "mixed up" clichés. She would only remember part of
one and use a wrong word, unknowingly. She is famous for saying "If it would have been a dog, it would have bit you."
We told her it was snake instead of dog, and she replied "That's what we say in England." Many years later, and many
misspoken clichés later, we still have a good time playing with her about it, even bringing out the "That's the way they
say it in England" excuse.
Yesterday Frank and I were talking--
Me: "Well join the boat."
Frank: "The boat? What are you talking about?"
Me: "Join the boat. Wait. Ship? What is it supposed to be?"
Frank: "Join the crowd."
Me: "Oh my gosh, I just morphed into my mother."
Today I am grateful for a warm home.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for Silver.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 9, 2007
Between cool temperatures and Hannah having a bad cough/cold, I haven't strayed far from home in a few days. Today
I went to the grocery store, and the brisk air and sprinkling rain were wonderful reminders that I AM ALIVE.
Today I am grateful for fall mountain colors.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 8, 2007
"When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace."
Today I am grateful for candles glowing in the windows.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 7, 2007
Summer lingered into fall and now winter wants to come early. The temperatures have dropped and I am more than
glad to stay cozy indoors.
Today I am grateful for the crackling logs in the fireplace.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 6, 2007
"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength."
Today I am grateful for a "no school" day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 5, 2007
In England, it's Guy Fawkes Day, celebrated with fireworks. Since I was born there, my family has always joked that the entire
country celebrates my birthday. I'm not sure how the years passed so quickly, but today I am 44 years old. I'm happy in my forties, I know that.
Thank you for the e-cards, emails, and birthday wishes. It was a nice day-- I talked to my brothers on the phone, Mom
fixed dinner for me and it ended with time with my family and an evening rain...my favorite.
Today I am grateful for a special shared symbolic bond of friendship.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 4, 2007
"You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result."
Today I am grateful for musical cards and dictionaries.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for thousands of dried leaves.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 2, 2007
Today was quite a day for Tazewell. Dr. Phil kicked off the Toys for Tots campaign here. He and his wife Robin arrived
by train and distributed toys and coats. People were gathered everywhere to see him, especially at the railroad crossings.
Roads were closed in the area. I had to laugh when I was on my back deck, sweeping some leaves. I heard a sound and looked
up...and there was his train. At least I didn't have to even leave my house. :) Dr. Phil & Robin arrive Dr. Phil speaks Toys For Tots, Tonka
photos by my friend Debbie
Today I am grateful for toys and trains.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 1, 2007
I met with the new immunologist today. He was very thorough, and I am hoping there will be opportunities to boost my
immune system. He did repeat some of my allergy testing and confirmed my known allergies. I will continue to get those
injections. He ordered several blood tests, some of which I had never heard of before. At times it was like he was
speaking a foreign language to me, and that made me happy. After living in the medical world for seven years, I consider
myself fairly well educated about my health, my body, medicine and testing-- and to hear him discuss blood tests that
were unknown to me gave me hope. I'll go to "my hospital" tomorrow for the blood work and meet with him in two weeks for the
results. I will also be getting my first flu and pneumonia vaccines as well.
Today I am grateful for a patient physician.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday October 31, 2007
Why I love this season~
Today I am grateful for children and pumpkin games.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 30, 2007
"Here the free spirit of mankind, at length,
Throws its last fetters off; and who shall place
A limit to the giant's unchained strength,
Or curb his swiftness in the forward race?"
Today I am grateful for books.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 29, 2007
"Frost is the greatest artist in our clime - He paints in nature and describes in rime."
We had our first heavy frost last night. We've had a couple light ones this season, but this morning everything
was white. The girls were thrilled when they looked outside.
Today I am grateful for nature's surprises.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 28, 2007 Hannah-ism: Abigail and Hannah collect business cards. Abigail's are neatly put into sleeves in
a binder and Hannah likes to make rubber banded piles with hers. Yesterday our friend Michael gave them both one that said
"Eagle Excavation".
Hannah: "Eagle Exca...what does e-x-c-a-v-a-t-i-o-n spell?"
Me: "Excavation. It means digging or clearing out."
Hannah: "Clearing out the eagles?!?!?"
Me: "No, honey, dirt, rocks and stuff. Eagle is just the name of the company."
Hannah: "Good, because they would be in trouble getting eagles. That's out national bird!"
Today I am grateful for Sunday breakfast.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday October 27, 2007
Only one calls me "sissy".
Happy Birthday, Brother!!
Today I am grateful for shared email laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 26, 2007
"Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children."
Today I am grateful that my girls live beside their grandparents.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday October 25, 2007
"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again."
Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday October 24, 2007
At last we have rain. Everything is so dry and brown and we haven't mowed in months---but nothing compares to the horror of the fires in California.
Half a million people have been evacuated and the damage is impossible to comprehend.
Prayers for all those that are suffering....
Today I am grateful for the kindness of strangers.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 23, 2007
Today was the day. All good news. Another step in the right direction.
The four biopsies were all benign and that "mystery tissue" he found was also benign. We'll never know where it came from.
Perhaps it has caused problems all along.
There cannot be a bad outcome at this point. I go once in November and once in December for a urinalysis, just to see if infection tries to return.
I am always asymptomatic, so without the test, I won't really know. In January, I will have the repeat FISH. Negative means I am cancer free. Positive means
another scope and hope the cancer will be visible for him to remove. This would likely be a stage zero with minimal treatment.
I would then have tests every three months to check for recurrence.
Neither of these are bad news scenarios. I will ask the Lord that there be no cancer, but beyond that I will also thank Him for putting me in a situation for early
detection should I be positive. Without this "infectious intervention" I would have never known what was going on in my body...and since I had my scans in
April THIS year, my next tests wouldn't be until 2009. TWO YEARS. A lot can happen in a bladder in two years.
I can find no negative in this situation, but only thankful that the Lord continues to shelter an undeserving soul like me.
With the initial positive test, it doesn't mean that God has not intervened and healed me. The next three months will not
feel like a waiting game, and I will live each day as I have done in the past. I am at peace.
Today I am grateful for another successful doctor's visit.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 22, 2007 CORPORATE PARTNERSHIP NEWS: With your simple everyday shopping, your dollars can go toward
research, early detection, and fighting for a cure! Please support these companies. Each has made
varying committments in dollars they will donate to Komen.
Susan G. Komen For the Cure, Corporate Partners:
3M
From October 1, 2007, through March 31, 2008, 3M will sell specially marked packages of Lint Rollers and single lint rollers to benefit Komen for the Cure. 3M will donate $1 for each package of lint rollers sold and $0.28 for every single lint roller sold and will make a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000. ACH Food Companies, Inc.
Specially-marked packages of Argo Cornstarch, Kingsford Cornstarch, Fleischmann’s Yeast, Karo Syrup, Mazola Corn Oil & Pan Spray and Spice Island Spices will be sold in grocery stores and mass merchandise outlets nationwide from October 1, 2007 through September 30, 2008. Komen for the Cure will receive 25 cents per UPC code submitted online or by mail, and 10 cents per recipe entered at www.bakeforthecure.com, with a minimum guaranteed donation of $250,000 up to $350,000. Acushnet- Titleist, Cobra and FootJoy Worldwide
In its eleventh year of support of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Acushnet- Titleist, Cobra and FootJoy Worldwide provide golfers with a distinctive reminder that early detection is the key to survival by featuring the Komen logo on Titleist and Pinnacle golf balls. In conjunction with Rally for the Cure®, Titleist provides a pink ribbon custom-imprinted golf ball for every golfer who "hits the green." This grassroots initiative reaches thousands of golfers worldwide and makes a guaranteed donation of $200,000. American Airlines
Since 1992, Susan G. Komen for the Cure has partnered with American Airlines, National Sponsor of the Komen Race for the Cure® Series. For 2007 American Airlines will continue their specially designed team shirts for their employees to wear when participating in a Komen Race with 10 percent of the sales price of these shirts benefiting Komen for the Cure. American Airlines also provides airline tickets for Komen official business travel, as well as three American Airlines tickets to each Komen Race for the Cure®. These tickets are used by the Affiliate Network for prizes and Affiliate travel. American Italian Pasta Company
Specially-marked packages of Mueller’s, Golden Grain, Anthony’s, Luxury, Martha Gooch, R&F and Ronco brand spaghetti, thin spaghetti and elbow macaroni will be available in grocery stores nationwide from October 1, 2007 through November 30, 2007. American Italian Pasta Company will make a guaranteed donation of $150,000 to Komen for the Cure in conjunction with this program. Bausch & Lomb
As part of Bausch & Lomb’s Solutions for the Cure program, specially-marked packages of Bausch & Lomb ReNu Multi-Plus contact lens solution and Sight Savers’ contact lens cases and Micro Fiber cloths will be sold in grocery and drug stores and mass merchandise outlets nationwide from September 1, 2007 – October 31, 2007. Komen for the Cure will receive 75 cents per bottle of solution, 16 cents per cloth and 15 cents per lens case with a minimum guaranteed donation of $250,000. Belk
Belk will host an event throughout the first weekend of October to support breast cancer awareness efforts and raise funds for Komen for the Cure; for more information visit www.belk.com. Belkin
From May 1, 2007, through July 31, 2008, Belkin will donate 10 percent of the retail sales price from each specially designed MP3 player case sold to Komen for the Cure with a minimum guaranteed donation of $225,000. Better Homes and Gardens
In October 2007, Better Homes and Gardens will release “Celebrating the Promise,” a new cookbook commemorating Komen for the Cure’s 25th year as a leader in the movement to save lives and end breast cancer forever. The company will make a guaranteed minimum donation of $250,000 in conjunction with the new book, which will feature a 64-page special section dedicated to women’s health, new recipes and anecdotes from celebrity chefs, including Paula Deen and Sara Moulton. BMW of North America, Inc.
The BMW Ultimate Drive is a grassroots program that gives community members the opportunity to get involved in the breast cancer movement. For every mile driven during the BMW Ultimate Drive event, $1.00 is donated to Komen, with a minimum guaranteed donation of $1,000,000. Developed by BMW in partnership with Komen, two fleets of specially badged BMWs crisscross the country visiting participating BMW Retail Centers. The drive will continue through October 2007, inviting consumers to get behind the wheel and help contribute to the breast cancer movement. Boston Market
In 2007, Susan G. Komen for the Cure and Boston Market bring their partnership to a new level and introduce Catering for the Cure®. For every catering order placed, Boston Market will donate $2 to Komen with a guaranteed donation of $250,000. Brinker International
Susan G. Komen for the Cure's Brinker International Awards for Breast Cancer Research are funded by an endowment established by Brinker International, Inc. The awards are given annually at the San Antonio Breast Cancer Conference to formally recognize and honor individuals, before their peers, for their outstanding achievements in the fields of basic and clinical breast cancer research. Campbell Soup Company
Limited edition pink and white cans of condensed Chicken Noodle and Tomato soup will be available at participating retailers nationwide throughout the month of October. Komen for the Cure will receive a guaranteed donation of $100,000 in conjunction with this program. Caribou Coffee Company, Inc.
Throughout the months of May and October, Caribou Coffee will sell Amy’s Blend coffees to honor the life of Amy Erickson, a member of the Caribou Coffee roasting family. Caribou Coffee will donate $100,000 to Komen for the Cure to further the promise to save lives and end breast cancer forever. For more information, please visit www.cariboucoffee.com. Carlisle Collection, Ltd.
Carlisle produces luxurious scarves which represent their commitment to women’s good health and well-being. When a Carlisle customer makes a donation payable to Komen for the Cure of $125 or more through a Carlisle Consultant, she receives this special scarf. Contributions from the program have totaled more than $1 million to date. For more information or to locate the Carlisle Consultant nearest you, visit www.carlislecollection.com. CHI-CHI’S® Salsa
Hormel Foods has chosen Komen for the Cure as the beneficiary of the CHI-CHI’S® Salsa coupon redemption program. For each specially marked coupon redeemed, the maker of CHI-CHI’S® Salsa will donate 25 cents to Komen, with a guaranteed minimum donation of $150,000, and a maximum donation of $175,000. For more information, please visit www.chichissalsa.com. ClubCorp-ClubCorp Charity Classic
In honor of ClubCorp’s 50th Anniversary, ClubCorp will hold the world’s largest one-day charity golf and dining event. All proceeds raised during the ClubCorp Charity Classic will be divided and donated to MDA, The PGA Foundation, ClubCorp’s Employee Partners Care Foundation and Susan G Komen for the Cure. Coldwater Creek
Coldwater Creek hosts Fashion for the Cure® events at their retail stores. These after-hours wardrobe parties, complete with refreshments, fashion tips, and a guest survivor speaker, offer customers the opportunity to shop at a 10 percent discount, with Coldwater Creek donating an additional 10 percent of event sales to the local Komen Affiliate. In addition, Coldwater Creek offers the In Pink Gift Card, 10 percent of the purchase price is donated to Komen for the Cure; go to www.coldwatercreek.com for more information. Dockers®
Susan G. Komen is the beneficiary of Levis Strauss & Co. through its Dockers® "Khakis for the Cause" program. Dockers® women’s pink ribbon collection will be sold at Dockers® stores and retailers nationwide from August 31, 2007 through December 31, 2008. Komen for the Cure will receive $1 per item sold with a guaranteed minimum donation of $100,000 for the program period. eBags.com
In support of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, eBags will sell pink bags from their Pick Pink page on the eBags Web site. Each bag involved in the program will be highlighted with a pink ribbon on the Web site and eBags will donate 10 percent of the retail sales price of each pink bag sold with a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000. To learn more about the Pick Pink program, visit www.ebags.com. Energizer®
Energizer® supports the breast cancer movement by offering consumers the opportunity to receive a limited edition “Keep Going” Charm Bracelet, by redeeming three proofs of purchase from select Energizer® products by December 31, 2007. Energizer will also donate $1.00 to Komen for each Charm Bracelet redeemed up to a maximum donation of $10,000. Additionally, during the month of October, Energizer® will donate $0.50 to Komen for each battery pack sold with a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000 up to a maximum donation of $200,000. Ford Division
The Warriors in Pink initiative was created to continue the support of the Komen Race for the Cure® Series. The collection of Warriors in Pink apparel for women and men feature bold symbols that embody the Warrior credo of taking charge, living out loud, harnessing power and standing together. 100 percent of the net proceeds* from the sale of each item supports Komen for the Cure. For more information about donation amounts per product please visit www.fordcares.com. In 2007, Ford launched several new components to the Warriors in Pink program, including a partnership with NBC’s “Deal or No Deal” to air a special episode on Friday, October 19th dedicated to Warriors in Pink and breast cancer awareness. Ford also announced the first-ever 2008 Mustang with Warriors in Pink package to benefit Komen for the Cure. Available on V-6 Coupe or Convertible models in three colors, the Mustang with Warriors in Pink package will add a pink ribbon and Pony fender badge, pink Mustang rocker tape striping and pink interior accents. $250 from the sale of each package goes directly to Komen. Additionally, Ford’s online charity auction featuring scale models of Warriors in Pink edition Ford Mustang, signed and decorated by celebrities including the casts of Desperate Housewives, House, Grey’s Anatomy, David Arquette, Courtney Cox, and Kelly Clarkson. Legendary race car drivers John Force and Matt Kenseth have also joined the fight against breast cancer by signing and decorating these models Warriors in Pink Ford Mustangs. These cars will be available through an on-line charity auction, www.ebay.com/WarriorsinPink beginning October 15th and continuing through October 25th with 100 percent of the proceeds benefiting Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Fox Home Entertainment
From September 1, 2007 through May 31, 2008, Fox Home Entertainment will sell popular DVD titles in special pink ribbon packaging in retail stores nationwide. The DVDs will be sold at a suggested retail price of $14.95. Fox Home Entertainment will donate $0.50 to Komen for the Cure for each DVDs for the Cure video sold, with a guaranteed minimum donation of $250,000. Francesca's Collections
From September 1, 2007, through August 31, 2008, Francesca’s Collections will sell a silver chain necklace with a pink enamel ribbon charm and pink Austrian crystal heart charm to benefit Komen for the Cure. Additionally, Francesca’s will sell Greek Letter charms to be added to the necklace. Francesca’s will donate $9 for each necklace sold and $2 for each Greek charm sold and will make a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000. For more information please visit www.francescascollections.com. Fresh Express
"Find Inspiration in Every Bag!" Specially-marked packages of Fresh Express' Baby Blends salad mixes will be sold in grocery stores and mass merchandise outlets nationwide from October 1 through 31, 2007. Komen for the Cure will receive 10 cents per package with a guaranteed minimum donation of $200,000. General Mills' Pink for the Cure
During the month of October in grocery retailers nationwide, General Mills brands will turn their packages pink to support October’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Komen for the Cure. Brands going Pink for the Cure include Cheerios, Total Raisin Bran, Total Honey Nut Clusters, Green Giant, Progresso Soup, Betty Crocker Warm Delights, Betty Crocker cookie mixes, Betty Crocker Hamburger Helper and Betty Crocker Potatoes. Komen for the Cure will receive $2 million for the Pink for the Cure program. George Weston Bakeries, Inc.
Specially-marked packages of Arnold, Brownberry, and Freihofer’s breads, Thomas’ English muffins, and Entenmann’s bakery products will be available at grocery stores and mass merchandise outlets nationwide from September 24, 2007 - October 27, 2007. George Weston Bakeries will make a guaranteed donation of $100,000 to Komen for the Cure in conjunction with this program. In addition, George Weston Bakeries has partnered with Komen National Race Series Sponsor New Balance to offer a special pink bracelet by mail with 2 UPC labels and a minimum $5.00 donation. All monies raised will benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Hallmark Gold Crown Stores
As part of the Card for the Cure program: The Everyday Card, available February 15 through the end of 2007, with 10 percent from the sale of each card to be donated to Komen. The music CD, Believe..Songs to Uplift the Spirit featuring original artists will be available to buy with each purchase of three Hallmark cards, $1 from the sale of each CD will be donated to Komen. The book, “The Spirit of Hope” will be available with 10 percent from the sale to be donated to Komen. The Keepsake Ornament, Angel of Hope, returns with $2 from the sale of each ornament being donated to Komen. Through these promotions, Hallmark will make a minimum guaranteed donation of $200,000. HSN
From October 1 through October 31, 2007, HSN will sell various items to benefit Komen live on the air and on www.hsn.com. The retail sales price and benefit to Komen varies per product, and HSN will make a $250,000 minimum guaranteed donation through this initiative. HSN will also solicit donations from viewers throughout the month of October, and 100% of the funds collected will be donated to Komen. For a complete product listing and more information, visit www.hsn.com, keyword search “pink”. KitchenAid®
During 2007, KitchenAid is proud to donate a minimum of $1,000,000 to Susan G. Komen for the Cure in conjunction with its pink product collection. Consumers must register each pink product purchased at www.cookforthecure.com to generate a donation. Since 2001, Cook for the Cure® has raised more than $5 million for Komen for the Cure and earned such accolades as the Cause Marketing Forum’s prestigious Halo Award. For more information, visit www.cookforthecure.com. New in 2007, purchase any KitchenAid® countertop appliance from the pink product collection at www.CookForTheCure.com or www.ShopKitchenAid.com through the end of October and receive a free limited-edition Better Homes and Gardens® "Pink Plaid" cookbook by mail. The collection includes the popular Artisan® Stand Mixer, 12-Cup Food Processor and 5-Speed Blender (carrying suggested retail prices of $349.99, $249.99 and $149.99, respectively); each of which generates a donation to the cause when registered on www.CookForTheCure.com. Koss
As part of the Pink Ribbon Sportsclips and Earbuds headphones program, the SportsClips and Earbuds will be sold from August 1, 2007, through July 31, 2008. Komen for the Cure will receive $2.50 from each pair sold with a guaranteed donation of $100,000. LEAN CUISINE®
Beginning September 1, 2007, LEAN CUISINE® will distribute specially marked packages of their frozen entrees highlighting their partnership with Komen for the Cure. Additionally, LEAN CUISINE will offer three new insulated designer lunch bags, for purchase at www.LeanCuisine.com. The bags will sell for $9.95, of which $5.00 will be donated to Komen with a minimum donation of $50,000. LIFE Event-The Val Skinner Foundation
Susan G. Komen for the Cure benefits annually from the LIFE Event (LPGA Pros In the Fight to Eradicate Breast Cancer) that is held each year. The LIFE Event is a premier golf event supporting the fight against breast cancer. In six years, the LIFE Event has raised $3.5 million, with $1.75 million benefiting Komen for the Cure. The mission of the LIFE Event is to raise funds to reach a younger generation of women with information about early detection and the importance of healthy breast care practices. 2007's guaranteed donation is $250,000. Lowe’s Companies, Inc.
Throughout October, Lowe’s Companies, Inc. will invite customers to Plant for the Cure® to help raise funds in the fight against breast cancer during their annual fundraiser for Komen for the Cure. Through the Plant for the Cure® program Lowe’s will donate 10 percent of the retail sales price of select mums in October (bearing the Plant for the Cure® tag) to Komen for the Cure. For more information, please visit www.lowes.com. LPGA
LPGA members actively support Komen for the Cure through numerous pro-ams and tournaments across the nation. LPGA players wear pink ribbons on their hats and shirts at tournaments across the country to show support for the women within and outside the LPGA family who are fighting breast cancer. This simple action focuses media attention on the ribbons and continues to open the door for commentators at tournaments across the country to tell the story of the ribbon and why the LPGA has partnered with Komen for the Cure. LPGA Golf Clinics
Komen for the Cure will benefit from the LPGA Golf Clinics for Women, hosted and organized by the Jane Blaylock Company. The events include 15 one-day golf clinics held across the country, designed specifically for the female golfer. Players receive personalized instruction from LPGA teaching professionals. The clinics serve to educate women about the importance of early detection and to raise funds for Komen for the Cure through a silent auction. M&M’S® Brand Chocolate Candies
From August 15 through October 31, 2007, Mars Snackfood, US will once again sell specially marked bags of dark pink and light pink M&M'S® Chocolate Candies in grocery and retail outlets throughout the nation. In conjunction with this program, Mars Snackfood, US will make a donation of $550,000 to Komen for the Cure. For more information, visit www.mms.com. New this year… MY M&M’S® is offering the “Promise Blend”, Komen branded pink and white M&M’S®, available exclusively online. Ten percent of the retail sales price of each purchase will benefit Komen. For more information, visit www.mymms.com/sgk. Also new to this year’s program is an exciting array of co-branded gift items that will be available in national retail outlets, as well as at the M&M’S® World stores in Las Vegas, Orlando and New York. Up to 10 percent of the retail sales prices of these items will benefit Komen. For more information, visit www.mmsworld.com. Major League Baseball
Help your home team hit one out of the ballpark with Susan G. Komen for the Cure and Major League Baseball’s Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer, a month long program to create awareness about breast cancer and the importance of early detection, while also raising funds to support the mission of Komen for the Cure. The boys of summer and their teams are taking the challenge to raise $25,000 to stay in every team’s local community! Fans will be able to log onto www.komen.org/mlb and make a monetary donation to their favorite team and support the breast cancer movement. Mariani Packing Co., Inc.
Snack Pink and help save a life™ program: From August 2007 through May 2008, Mariani dried fruits will be sold in grocery stores and club outlets nationwide. Komen for the Cure will receive a guaranteed donation of $414,000. Microsoft
Susan G. Komen for the Cure proudly welcomes Microsoft as a partner through the i’m making a difference initiative. Every time you start a conversation using i’m, Microsoft will donate a portion of the program's advertising revenue with some of the world's most effective organizations dedicated to social causes, including Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Microsoft will make a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000 to each participating charity. Mohawk Industries, Inc.
Mohawk Industries, Inc., the manufacturer of Durkan Commercial and Karastan Contract commercial carpets, will donate 25 cents per square yard sold in its commercial market with a minimum guaranteed donation of $250,000. For more information or to locate a Mohawk consultant near you, visit www.themohawkgroup.com. New Balance Athletic Shoe, Inc.
From January 1, 2007 through December 31, 2007, New Balance will donate fifteen percent of wholesale sales for each product sold from the Lace Up for the Cure® Pink Ribbon Collection. Lace Up footwear and apparel is distinguished by pink tissue paper in the shoebox, as well as hang-tags, and other in-store signage, that explains the significance of the pink ribbon as the icon for breast cancer awareness and the company’s association with Komen for the Cure. For more information, please visit www.newbalance.com/komen. On Deck for the Cure™
With a goal to raise $1 million in its second year, On Deck for the Cure was launched last year by Holland America and encompasses fundraisers on dozens of the brands’ ships (Carnival Cruise Lines, Costa Cruises, Princess Cruises, The Yachts of Seabourn), with guests making a donation benefiting Komen for the Cure and participating in five-kilometer walks and other activities on the vessels’ open decks. The cruise lines will donate 75 percent of each registration fee to Komen for the Cure, with a minimum guaranteed donation of $260,000. On The Border – Fiesta for the Cure™
To celebrate both Komen for the Cure and On The Border’s 25th anniversaries, guests at On The Border restaurants will have the opportunity throughout October to make a donation and have their name displayed on celebratory Fiesta For the Cure™ coasters in the lobby. Additionally, On The Border will sell Fiesta for the Cure™ T-shirts for $12 and will donate $5 from each shirt sold to Komen. The minimum guaranteed donation to Komen for Fiesta for the Cure™ hosted by On The Border’s is $250,000. Oreck
From March 1, 2007, through February 28, 2008, Oreck is committed to supporting Komen for the Cure through the sale of their Special Edition Clean for the Cure® vacuum cleaners. For each pink Clean for the Cure® Oreck XL Ultra® Upright and the XL 21 Vacuum Cleaner sold, Oreck will make a donation of $50 for the XL Ultra® Upright and $70 XL 21 Vacuum Cleaner for the to Komen for the Cure, with a minimum guarantee of $500,000. The Clean for the Cure® vacuums are available for purchase in Oreck retail stores, at Oreck party events, on the Oreck Web site, or by calling 1.800.237.4181. For more information, please visit www.cleanforthecure.com. Payless ShoeSource
Payless ShoeSource will continue its Taking Steps to Fight Breast Cancer program by selling breast cancer awareness bracelets and limited-edition pink ribbon slippers. One hundred percent of the net profits* earned from the sale of the bracelet and $1.30 from the sale of each pair of slippers will be donated to Komen for the Cure with a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000. The products will be available for purchase in Payless ShoeSource stores nationwide and on www.payless.com beginning September 27 and continuing through February 28, 2008. Pepperidge Farm®
Susan G. Komen for the Cure and Pepperidge Farm will partner on a program featuring specially marked packages of cookies, including Milano, Double Chocolate Milano, Strawberry Verona, Chessmen and more. These packages will be offered on store shelves in the grocery, drug, mass merchandise and club channels throughout the year. Komen for the Cure will benefit from a minimum guaranteed donation of $110,000. Philips
From October 1, 2007, through May 31, 2008, Philips will produce a Pink Portable DVD Player sold exclusively at Best Buy. Philips will donate $150,000 to Komen for the Cure in conjunction with this program. Pier 1 Imports
Pier 1's array of items that benefit Komen for the Cure include a candle, whose design is remodeled every August, a silk and hand-beaded Jewelry box and an embroidered shawl. 25 percent of the sales price of all items sold goes to benefit Komen and supports breast cancer research with a minimum guaranteed donation of $250,000. New in 2007, Pier 1 goes the extra mile and adds the Pier 1 gift card to benefit Komen with $1 donated for every gift card sold. PNY Technologies, Inc.
From October 1, 2007, through December 31, 2007, PNY will sell two Secure Digital Memory Cards (2 GB and 4 GB) to benefit Komen for the Cure at Best Buy, Staples and Circuit City. PNY will donate $100,000 to Komen in conjunction with this program. ProFlowers.com
Through the Pink Ribbon Collection, ProFlowers.com donates 10 percent of the retail price from each purchase to Komen for the Cure with a minimum guaranteed donation of $50,000. Each bouquet or tree is delivered with important information from Komen about breast health. To view the Pink Ribbon Collection, please visit www.proflowers.com/cure. Quilted Northern Ultra®
Quilted Northern Ultra® supports Komen for the Cure and its Affiliates through their on pack donation program. Quilted Northern Ultra® will donate 50 cents to Komen for every proof-of-purchase collected from specially marked pink ribbon packages of Quilted Northern Ultra® through December 31, 2007 (minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000 up to a maximum of $500,000). Consumers can log on to www.quiltednorthernultra.com and enter the unique code online to activate the donation to the Komen Headquarters or a local Komen Affiliate. Consumers can also mail in the UPC to the address noted on specially marked packages. Qwest and SANYO
Beginning in June and continuing through the end of December, wireless phone users can help raise funds and awareness for the fight against breast cancer by purchasing SANYO® pink phones with Qwest Wireless®. For each phone sold, 10 percent of the retail sales price will be donated to Komen for the Cure with a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000 up to a maximum donation of $150,000. For more information, please visit www.qwestwireless.com or www.sanyo.com/wireless. Rally for the Cure®
Since its inception, the Rally program’s goal has been to increase breast health awareness among amateur women golfers by supporting the mission of Susan G. Komen for the Cure and in 2007, Rally for the Cure expanded its program to include Tennis.
A registration fee of $20 per person entitles each Rally participant to enter a closest-to-the-pin contest at a designated par-3 hole. Each winner of the competitive contest wins a significant golf prize. Educational materials provided by Komen are distributed to every entrant, along with the symbolic pink ribbon pin with a golf club designed exclusively for Rally for the Cure®. In addition, each participant is entitled to a one-year subscription of Golf For Women® magazine. Guaranteed donation of $3,000,000. RE/MAX International
RE/MAX International, along with co-sponsor Zeta Tau Alpha Fraternity, celebrates breast cancer survivors by providing the signature pink t-shirts and caps for survivors to wear during the Komen Race for the Cure® events. Race participants receive “In Memory of” and “In Celebration of” back signs to honor a friend or loved one. The Republic of Tea
The Republic of Tea continues it commitment in 2007, donating partial proceeds from the sale of a variety of products designed to raise awareness and funds for Komen for the Cure. Among these products is its signature Sip for the Cure® line, which includes five pink tea varieties: Pink Grapefruit Green Tea (regular and decaf), Pink Lemonade Green Tea, Pink Rose Green Tea and Pink Lady® Apple Green Tea. Also included in the program are 250-count bulk bags of tea, 50-count single serve of Pink Grapefruit Tea, and Pink Grapefruit Tea Marmalade. Guaranteed minimum donation $100,000. Schick
“Give Comfort. Get Comfort.” program: Specially-marked packages of Schick’s ST, ST Sensitive, X3D Comfort Plus, X3D Sensitive and Quattro disposable razors will be sold at grocery stores, drug stores and mass merchandise outlets nationwide from October 1 through November 30, 2007. Komen for the Cure will receive a guaranteed donation of $125,000 in conjunction with this program. Serta Mattress Company
Throughout 2007, Serta Mattress Company is encouraging everyone to fight breast cancer while they sleep! Serta is producing and selling limited-edition pink mattress sets designed by Vera Wang and collector’s edition pink Serta-branded Counting Sheep at participating Serta retailers in conjunction with the promotion. As part of its commitment to the cause, Serta is donating $290,000 to Komen, $260,000 from Serta and its US facilities and $30,000 from Serta Canada. Komen will give the $30,000 donated from Serta Canada to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. Simon Malls
From September 1, 2006, through August 31, 2008, Simon Malls will sell a Pink Ribbon gift card in their retail centers nationwide and online at www.simon.com. The gift cards will be sold in denominations ranging from $20 to $500. Simon Malls will donate $1 to Komen for the Cure for each gift card sold, with a guaranteed minimum donation of $250,000 per year. SunChips®
In addition to supporting Komen Race for the Cure®, SunChips® brand created the Crunch for the Cure™ SunChips® pink ribbon bag program. Consumers can submit proofs of purchase from specially marked bags of SunChips® Snacks online at www.sunchips.com, and SunChips® will donate 25 cents to Komen for the Cure for each proof of purchase submitted with a minimum guarantee of $100,000 up to $350,000. Tomboy Tools®
From September 1, 2007, through August 30, 2008, Tomboy Tools® will sell a pink 13-ounce hammer and the pink Tomboy Traveler toolkit to benefit Komen for the Cure. Tomboy Tools® will donate $3 for each pink hammer and $7 for each traveler sold with a minimum guaranteed donation of $100,000. United States Bowling Congress
USBC’s bowling leagues designate one league session of their choice each season as a Bowl for the Cure® event.Bowlers can designate one league night to donate a specific amount, such as a nickel per pin, or stage pledge nights, raffles and auctions. Local bowling associations also are encouraged to team up with Komen Affiliates to conduct a Bowl for the Cure® event for the entire community in their service area. For more information about Bowl for the Cure®, visit www.bowlforthecure.com. VALLEY FRESH® Chicken
April 15 through October 31, 2007, Hormel Foods will make a 25 cents donation for each coupon for VALLEY FRESH® chunk chicken redeemed at point of purchase, with a guaranteed minimum donation of $100,000, up to $150,000 to Komen for the Cure. Additionally, VALLEY FRESH® Chicken will participate in a special promotion at Wal*Mart and in which they will make an additional donation of $50,000 to Komen. For more information, please visit www.valleyfreshkitchen.com. Wacoal America
Wacoal will host Fit for the Cure® events to help women across the country find their perfect fit. For every woman fitted at a Fit for the Cure® event in Wacoal, Donna Karan Intimates, and DKNY Underwear, Wacoal will donate $2 to Komen for the Cure. No purchase is necessary. A specialist will provide a private consultation and also be on hand to help women make their selections. In addition to the fitting, women will be given information on early detection techniques and a guide to performing a breast self-exam. The benefits are twofold: getting properly fitted and helping a worthy cause. Furthering their commitment in 2007, Wacoal now offers the “Wacoal Promise,” providing every woman who signs up at one of Wacoal’s Fit for the Cure® events with a complimentary email reminder to conduct a monthly breast self-exam. Wacoal will also make a $2 donation to Komen for every Wacoal, Donna Karan intimate or DKNY underwear bra purchased at a Fit for the Cure® event. Wacoal will make a minimum guaranteed donation of $250,000. Wüsthof
Wüsthof will sell specially marked cutlery from July 1, 2007, through December 31, 2007, to benefit Komen for the Cure. Komen will receive 10 percent from the retail sales price of each item with a guaranteed donation of $100,000. Wyeth/ChapStick® Brand Lip Moisturizer
From January 25 through December 31, 2007 Wyeth will produce ChapStick® Brand Lip Moisturizer in pink packages. The packages will be sold nationwide in drug stores, grocery stores, and through mass merchandisers. ChapStick® will donate 30 cents per package with a guaranteed minimum donation of $100,000 to Komen for the Cure. For more information, please visit www.chapstick.com. Yoplait USA
In addition to supporting the Komen Race for the Cure®, Yoplait sponsors the highly successful Save Lids to Save Lives® program, which takes place throughout September and October each year. For each pink lid mailed in by customers, Yoplait will donate 10 cents to Komen with a guaranteed donation of $500,000. For more information and for the Lids mailing address, visit the Yoplait Web site at www.yoplait.com. Zeta Tau Alpha Fraternity
As a Co-Sponsor of the National Series Breast Cancer Survivor Recognition Program at Komen Race for the Cure® events, ZTA members nationwide volunteer countless hours in support of local Race events. ZTA, along with co-sponsor RE/MAX, celebrate breast cancer survivors by providing the signature pink t-shirts and caps for survivors to wear during the Race. Race participants receive “In Memory of” and “In Celebration of” back signs to honor a friend or loved one. Zeta Tau Alpha Foundation has funded a variety of programs associated with the fight against breast cancer. Zeta Tau Alpha has distributed 9.75 million breast self-exam cards, 6 million BSE reminders, and 3.5 million breast health information cards to further our promise to save lives and end breast cancer forever.
Today I am grateful for awareness.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 21, 2007
We only need to put the shutters on the storage building and the job is complete. They came in this week. Here's
proof that I
helped a few weeks
ago. Just don't ask how many nails I actually put in there. (Only enough to make it count)
This past week was Homecoming week at school and each day had a theme. The girls' favorites were
pajama day
and crazy hair day.
I put ponytails all over their heads using different colored bright bands, and sprayed their hair red. Here's a
back shot also.
Today I am grateful for endless generosity.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday October 20, 2007
Simple but true....
Today I am grateful for simplicity.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 19, 2007
BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH CONTINUES!
Don't forget your daily click (above) to fund free mammograms!
Today I am grateful for breakfast at Mom's.
Thank you God, for another day.
CORPORATE FUNDRAISER NEWS:
Garth Brooks has joined forces with Susan G. Komen for the Cure in the promise to end breast cancer forever, with the release of the “Pink Edition”
of The Ultimate Hits album. The album is a new 3-disc set, and contains 30 classics, 3 new songs and a bonus track on two CDs.
The set also includes a DVD with videos for all 33 songs, including new and never-before-seen footage.
For every “Pink Edition” of The Ultimate Hits album sold, $10 will go to Komen for the Cure. Each CD is packaged with important
information to help you protect your breast health, and the health of people you love.
The album is currently available for pre-orders, and will ship on November 5th. This is a Komen Promise Shop exclusive - click image below to order now and reserve yours today!
Thursday October 18, 2007
My recovery seems to be going very well, and by this evening I am virtually pain free.
Today I am grateful for crisp fall leaves.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday October 17, 2007
I'm home!
My surgery went well. Dr. Bender did the four biopsies as planned, but he did not do anything additional. He saw no abnormal
growths or papillary tumors. That's good news. Now we wait for the pathology results, which I will get next Tuesday. If cancerous,
we get a plan and move forward. If benign, I wait three months and repeat the FISH. If it comes back positive again, we also
repeat the scope, to see if it is a cancer than can be detected at that point. If the FISH comes back negative, I'm all clear.
For some strange reason, there was a piece of tissue floating in my bladder. He could see no area from which it came. He is sending it
for pathology along with the other four biopsies. If it comes back positive, he'll have no choice but to repeat the scope
and go into the ureters to see if there is a problem there. If it comes back negative, it will be written off as a mystery.
We have no idea if it came from inside my kidneys, the ureters, or where. For those of you that know me well, you may be chuckling a bit
right now. Don't worry, so am I. I have a history of "if something weird can happen medically, it will happen to Carolynn".
I'm feeling pretty good. The anesthesia didn't make me sick, and I took cipro through an IV. I do have some pain, but by tonight it
is starting to lessen. My throat is quite sore from the tube, but it didn't help that I had a lot of sinus drainage already. I
have two medications to take for a week, and I hope my stomach can tolerate them both. It's important that I get them both
in my system.
One more procedure behind me, and another step in the right direction.
Today I am grateful for a doctor with compassion.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 16, 2007
I didn't find out my surgery time until 4:30 today, when I went ahead and called them. They were supposed to call me between
2-4pm. I was bumped by a diabetic surgery so now I go to the hospital at 9:30am and I am scheduled for the OR at 10:25am. Hopefully
the previous two surgeries will proceed without incident and I'll be on time.
Since we're a little unsure what will be done to me, things are kind of up in the air. At this time, my recovery time is
unknown. As soon as I am able, I will update you with the results of my surgery.
Thank you all for the many cards, e-cards, and emails. Your show of love and support is truly appreciated.
No ocean can hold it back.
No river can overtake it.
No whirlwind can go faster.
No army can defeat it.
No law can stop it.
No distance can slow it.
No disease can cripple it.
No force on earth is more effective than the power of prayer.
Today I am grateful for silly night time giggles with Abigail.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 15, 2007
My dear friend Penny loves quotes as much as I do. Here's one she found that I just love.
"The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they
both lead to the same destination."
Today I am grateful for the sound of my pond.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 14, 2007
"Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble."
Today I am grateful for red delicious apples.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday October 13, 2007
"Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more."
Today I am grateful for layers of warm clothing.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 12, 2007
Today I completed my pre-op procedures, including an EKG, chest x-ray, and blood work. Afterwards, I went upstairs to
meet with Dr. Stefanini. I wanted to let him know what had transpired in the past few weeks. I hadn't consulted with him
earlier until I had a better indication of what was going on. Now that surgery is scheduled, I wanted to give him a heads up,
so that if the diagnosis comes, he would be involved in my treatment plan. I would have it no other way. I feel extremely confident with
Dr. Bender--but Dr. Stefanini knows my entire history and previous cancer treatment. He agreed with Dr. Bender's tests and
plans for the cystoscopy/TURB, and said he would check on me Wednesday, as well as review the biopsies himself.
Today I am grateful for a very special paper clip.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday October 11, 2007
Temperatures have dropped to the forties overnight and fifties in the day. It's time to go through the girls' closets
and bring out the long sleeves and sweaters!
Today I am grateful for an appointment free day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday October 10, 2007
"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."
Today I am grateful for purple blooming mums.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 9, 2007
Hannah-ism:
Hannah: "Mommy, the school nurse is sending a letter home to everyone."
Me: "About what?"
Hannah: "They want to know if we want to get a flea shot."
Today I am grateful for a proud moment of accomplishment.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 8, 2007
We went today for the CT IVP test results. Frank wanted to be with me, so he took the day off. This test was done primarily to
see if the cancer had spread to the ureters/kidneys. It came back negative--it hasn't left the bladder. That's the best answer
we could get today.
The CT cannot pick up very small lesions or flat tumors, but had there been some sort of growth in the ureters, the fluid/contrast
they used would not have been able to flow through them properly. The CT indicated that my kidneys and ureters are working fine.
So....Friday I go for pre-op x-rays, ekg, blood work, etc. Then on Wednesday of next week I will have surgery- a cystoscopy/TURB.
Cystosopies, as a screening tool by themselves, are sometimes done in an office with a local anesthesia, but since I am scheduled for TURB as well,
I'll be put to sleep and in the operating room. (TURB is for tumor removal) He has written orders beyond that procedure and
planned for "worst case scenario" so that if he goes in and finds anything really wrong, he'll have all the tools ready and
available to do whatever needs to be done at that time...without scheduling another procedure.
At a minimum he will biopsy four places in my bladder...in addition, he would remove any growth or abnormality he sees. There
is a chance he would have to do a bladder resection, but it is not expected.
The next step is to wait on the pathology. If it comes back confirming the cancer diagnosis from the FISH, we come up with a
treatment plan. If the biopsies come back negative, I'm not out of the woods quite yet. I would have to wait three months
and repeat the procedures. Bladder cancer is a recurring disease, and it may be a matter of a bit more time before it shows
itself beyond the FISH. (FISH is highly accurate, and highly sensitive. It's the BEST tool for early detection)
And now, on to the next step. I feel good about today's results.
Today I am grateful for a husband who has always carried me in his heart.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 7, 2007 It's All Abigail: Abigail has been called Puffer or Puff since she was first born. She's always been comfortable
with the name, and when she went to preschool she would tell people her name was Puffer! She still likes the name, lots of
people call her that instead of Abigail, she signs it often on cards and papers at home, but she must be getting to the age
where she is becoming selective when it is to be used.
Hannah: "Go Puffer!" (cheering her sister during the soccer game yesterday)
Hannah: "Puffer!! Hey, Puffer!!"
The game ended and she walked off the field all smiles.
Abigail: (laughing) "Hannah, plee-eease don't call me Puffer on the field!"
Today I am grateful for "I Am Sam".
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday October 6, 2007
Another weekend of soccer. It was an early game today for Abigail, and Hannah had the day off. The soccer
field always makes me happy.
Today I am grateful that I now have the strength to close the back of my SUV.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 5, 2007
"Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road."
Today I am grateful for another completed project.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday October 4, 2007 Hannah-ism: If Hannah eats a Happy Meal, most of the time she eats apples. We don't let her eat french fries
often, for nutritional reasons. They're an occasional treat, just like candy. Poppy picked them up from school and took
them to McDonalds as a surprise.
Abigail: "Hannah, you ordered fries!"
Hannah: "They're good."
Abigail: "They aren't good for you, remember?"
Hannah: "What?"
Abigail: "The grease, Hannah, the grease!"
Hannah: (laughing) "Grease tastes good!"
Today I am grateful for Mom's breakfast.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday October 3, 2007
Test day. This test will determine if the cancer has spread beyond the bladder--or if it picks up any indication of cancer
at all. This is the first time I have had a test scheduled in the evening, after hours. I don't think it was an accident
that it was scheduled for Wednesday at 7pm. That's when prayer meeting starts every week.
I went alone. Frank had offered to accompany me, as had my mom. I just didn't see the need. This is part of a routine.
I've had many scans done, and I knew there would be no knowledge gained tonight. For me, going for a CT is no different than
any other person going to the doctor for a regular blood pressure screening. It's just what I am accustomed to doing.
I wasn't allowed food or water for four hours previous to the test, which is a stretch for me. I'm used to "grazing" and
without it, my blood sugar drops too low. I had to register through the ER, then walk over to the radiology department. I was hoping
it would start on time, so I could eat something immediately afterwards. As it turned out, there were two emergency procedures
and I was taken back about an hour late, even though I sat entirely alone in an almost dark waiting room.
I've had more CT scans than I can count over the past seven years. As soon as I entered the room, I realized we had a new
CT machine, even since my last test at the end of April. I asked about it, and found out it's the new 64 slice CT scanner.
It's the most advanced technology, and I am thankful that even though I live in a very small town, this hospital always has
the best equipment available.
As always, nothing is easy with me medically. It's the big joke with me, my family and friends. (Kelle, you laughingly call me
high maintenance, but I can't help it!) From the port-a-cath breaking and going into my heart, to being almost impossible to
gain access to a vein, if it can go wrong, chances are I will experience it. Tonight was no exception, and two different
nurses had to try multiple times to get in a vein for the IV.
The procedure itself was almost identical to the other cat scans I've had. The only exception was an injection of lasix
before we started, to make sure the bladder would be full, to capacity. (I soon discovered they surely meant to capacity!) A few
scans were done without contrast, then it was injected rapidly from the machine (not a manual push), and scans were taken at
ten minute intervals. I then had to lay on my stomach for an additional scan. After a review, she decided to put me back
through again, then the test was over.
The results from this new scanner will create a three dimensional colored image, which can be rotated and reviewed. The
images and clarity produced have resulted in incredibly improved accuracy and diagnosis.
I'll get the results Monday morning.
Today I am grateful for a surprise letter from Abigail.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 2, 2007
"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence."
Some of you were concerned about how I took eleven months of antibiotics without getting answers, or didn't see a urologist
sooner. The primary issue was that the infections manifested themselves in myriad ways in my body. Sometimes it was strep, sometimes in was a kidney infection,
sometimes they showed themselves in other areas of my body...and at times I had multiple bacteria at the same time. There
seemed to be no pattern to what was happening. Toward the end, the infections began to show most often in the kidney or bladder,
even if there was infection elsewhere at the same time. It was at that point that I had the IVP to test for kidney stones.
When it came back negative, quite frankly the doctor basically dismissed me. Testing negative for stones did not
answer the infection issue, and I knew I needed to continue to be proactive and aggressive with my own health care. Another
kidney/bladder infection manifested itself, as I knew it would, and I went to another of my physicians. We tried a couple
different classifications of medications, to no avail, then I made the appointment with the urologist, which my doctor agreed
should be the next step.
Today I am grateful for a family evening outdoors.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 1, 2007
October 1, Breast Cancer Awareness Month begins.
October 1, It's my 6 year remission date.
October 1, I'm in the middle of a possible relapse.
What I know for sure is that I am at peace.
I did have my stitches removed from the jaw line biopsy, and the pathology is fine. It was just a small cyst, as was expected.
Today I am grateful for six more years of life.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 30, 2007
One of the things you never think you'll have to do is tell your young children you have cancer. The first time I was diagnosed, Abigail
was just too young, and of course Hannah was born in the midst of treatment. We told them after I went into remission, and even
then, of course, they were too young to understand. Now cancer is a word used casually in our home, when it does come up.
I had decided it was not necessary to say anything to the girls yet. The diagnosis is probable, but it is not confirmed.
This morning I realized it would be discussed in Church and there would be special prayer. I called them into the living room
and they snuggled beside me. At ages nine and six, we were in a different scenario this time.
"Remember how I had cancer before, right here?" (I put my hand on my chest)
They both nodded.
"Well, sometimes cancer comes back. The doctor told me he thinks I have it again, but I have to get another test
done to find out for sure."
I looked into their eyes, especially Abigail's, to see if there was any fear. There was none.
"So today, in Sunday School, you might want to make a prayer request..."
Before I could finish, Hannah interjected-- "To pray that you don't have cancer again."
"That's right!" I smiled and within minutes they were back in their rooms getting ready. My heart is light, I'm thankful
that they are believers...we are a family of faith.
This conversation could have been more difficult, but the reality of my life, for as long as they can remember, is
cancer, tests, and medicines. It's all they know. It's their "normal". None of it causes them fear. We've always taken a
casual approach to my health, and never burdened them with all of the details. Both girls have been to chemotherapy with me.
We all laugh about when I was bald. The most they've heard me say is "Mommy doesn't feel well", or in the times I have missed
Church, and they have asked if I am going, I answer "I just took my medicine, we'll see." That's good enough for them.
In that way, I am blessed.
I am also blessed that they are young...and innocent. Hannah was still in my womb and Abigail was only two and a half
the first time I was diagnosed. They don't understand mortality issues related to cancer. In reality, I have never associated
cancer with my death. Not for me. I do not believe cancer will ever take my life.
In the end, the fact remains that there is not a definitive diagnosis. And our prayer today was that there be no cancer.
Today I am grateful for childhood innocence.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 29, 2007
Things have calmed some, now that "the news" has had some time to settle with those around me. I know it was tough to hear,
and it takes a little while to adjust. I'm still feeling very optimistic.
Today I am grateful for a card from "my other Mom & Dad".
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 28, 2007
"Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer
in achievement and experience."
Today I am grateful for the first red leaves of fall.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 27, 2007 Hannah-ism: Hannah sneaked up behind the couch and frightened me.
Me: "Hannah, you scared me to death! Don't do that, honey."
Hannah: "That was funny!"
Me: (laughing) "You don't want to scare me dead, do you?"
Hannah: "You don't really die when you get scared to death, Mommy."
Me: "Are you sure?" (still laughing)
Hannah: "Mommy, just say boo and watch what happens."
Me: "BOO!"
Hannah: (jumping and pretending to be startled) "You scared me to death! And see? I'm not dead!"
Today I am grateful for laughter and fall breezes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 26, 2007
Today was test result day, 9:30am. As I was called back into the office to speak with a nurse first, an exam room door opened
and an elderly man exited. I could feel it in the air. His eyes were red, his face solemn. Few words were exchanged beyond
that point. The doctor shook his hand--everything was so serious, and too quiet. As he left the room, my heart was heavy.
I felt certain he had just been told he had cancer.
Soon, it was my turn. Dr. Bender entered the room, and as I suspected, the additional test request was because of the
results from two weeks ago. There was not a lot of small talk as he opened my chart and pulled the paper out. He began to speak
carefully, slowly, calmly. "The FISH test came back positive." He paused. As he began to speak, I could tell he was choosing
his words carefully. "Positive indicates the presence of abnormal growth (pause) possible tumor activity (pause)..." I filled
in the blank for him. "Cancer." "Yes", he said. He began to explain that it was 95% accurate, but not a definite diagnosis. He has
seen someone get a positive FISH but have no cancer. I spoke up to let him know that I don't panic with news like this. I've
had so much done to me since my original diagnosis, I am pretty calm about things. He nodded his head and said "Good."
We spoke further. Basically, this test says I have bladder cancer. He had reviewed my former cat scan from April again, and with another physician, who
both agreed on how to proceed. The next step is to have a CT IVP. This will show whether the abnormalities or tumors have spread
into the ureters and kidneys. I have that test next week, on Wednesday. I will have no results that day, but go for them on
October 8. I believe one of two things will happen on that date:
1. The CT confirms the cancer and then I have a scope to determine if it is invasive, etc.
2. The CT doesn't pick anything up, perhaps because we have caught it very early, making the CT results inconclusive until I have the
scope scheduled and completed. The scope lets him put me to sleep, biopsy the bladder, and get a good look at everything.
I have no fear. I actually feel relief. I've had the worst year of my life physically-- Eleven antibiotics in eleven months. I've searched for
answers for way too long. It looks like I am about to get my answer. My prayer is that there is no cancer. It wouldn't be the
first time the Lord has saved me from another diagnosis when tests indicated I had relapsed.
If it is meant for me to have cancer, then I can't help but think this first thought...THANK THE LORD for a year of infection,
otherwise the cancer would not have been found in its early stages. I would have never gone to a urologist. I show no "official"
signs of cancer. I do not believe I have any advanced disease....and there is no need to entertain that thought at this stage.
The most difficult part of this day was not in hearing the news. The hardest part was telling Dad I needed to talk to him and silently walking
into my living room....and walking over to their house to sit and tell Mom...and waiting the few minutes for lunch time to look Frank in the
eyes and tell him.
I'm in a good place right now. I'm calm. Everything will be all right. I've learned to trust God. He has proven time after time that
He knows more than I do.
Although I feel no fear, if you think I didn't look just a little deeper into my two girls' eyes after school today, you'd be
wrong.
Today I am grateful for the feeling of relief.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday September 25, 2007
Even though this is a tough time for me medically, I cannot ignore the positive changes that have also happened.
At last my posture has been corrected, and although certain muscles are still very tight, the pain in my neck and shoulder
blades has diminished considerably. (I do attend therapy once a week now)
The iontophoresis seems to have been effective on the elbow. It has been a long time since I went to pick something up
and dropped it. My handwriting and control is difficult at times, but I don't have daily pain in my arm. Behavior modification
and awareness on how much I use my arm continues to help.
The neuropathy has not flared as often as in the past. My left leg and arm do still go "dead", but no longer daily.
These improvements help me deal with the present situation much better. I now deal primarily with the fibromyalgia and the
quest for the source of repeated infection, and everything else is secondary.
Today I am grateful for "catching a break".
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday September 24, 2007
A few weeks ago I discovered a place on the back of my jaw line. Today, it was biopsied.
Thirty minutes and a few stitches later, I was out the door. The doctor believes it was a cyst, but it has been sent for pathology, and I'll
get the results next week when the stitches are removed. It's nothing I'm worried about, I just knew it needed to be checked.
In other medical news, I am supposed to see Dr. Bender Wednesday to get my test results from two weeks ago. For some reason
his office called today and wants me to have another CT scan and IVP. (This is in addition to the plan we had in place at my first appointment.)
Both of these procedures were just done within the last few months, and she could not tell me why he wanted to repeat them.
I do know he reviewed the original tests, because I was there when he pulled them up. I will find out more on
Wednesday when I meet with him. I imagine there was something in these last results that has caused him to re-evaluate. That
also means we may have some answers.
Although I am glad I do not have strep, this virus is wearing me down. It doesn't seem to want to leave yet. As of late,
my time seems to revolve around medical appointments. But it's this that
keeps me smiling. They had just finished playing their first games of the season on Saturday. See Hannah's dirty face? And
ever the model, Abigail "poses" with a bag of goldfish snacks.
Today I am grateful for surprises in the mail.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 23, 2007
Fall is here! My favorite season. Now if only the temperatures would drop just a bit. We're facing record
highs for the next two days.
"If winter is slumber and spring is birth, and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection. It's a time of year when the leaves are down and the harvest is in and
the perennials are gone. Mother Earth just closed up the drapes on another year and it's time to reflect on what's come before."
Today I am grateful for soccer girls.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 22, 2007
"Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start."
Today I am grateful for hand prints in concrete.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 21, 2007
I made it twelve days off of antibiotics--and now I am sick again. I've had a sinus headache for days and a sore throat that
started yesterday. It got progressively worse, and after seeing a blister in my throat this morning, I decided to go on to
the doctor. Since it is Friday, I didn't want to take a chance going through the weekend.
Thankfully, the quick test for strep came back negative. I may have something viral this time. There's already talk of
me having my tonsils removed, but until there's a firm plan in place, I'd rather not speculate on the "what ifs".
Today I am grateful for free flowing prose.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 20, 2007
"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one
of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."
Today I am grateful for a little extra sleep.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 19, 2007
I checked the girls out of school this afternoon so they could go with me to take Kelle to the airport.
Although it was sad to see her leave us, my heart was full of joy watching the girls cling to her with hugs and kisses.
And without doubt, she feels the same way about them.
Today I am grateful for easy conversations.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday September 18, 2007
"I have always believed that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform
it into something of value."
Today I am grateful for true gentlemen.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday September 17, 2007
Since this is a milestone year for our Church, we are having morning and evening services through Thursday.
Various preachers and evangelists are called from the floor. The services have been amazing so far, and I am thrilled
to have Kelle by my side.
Hannah-ism: The girls and I have always played a game when I am cold. I would grab them and put my hand
on their stomachs to get warm. Hannah started telling me to use her arm pit, because it was even warmer.
Hannah: (she reached over and touched my hand in Church last night) "You are cold!"
Me: "I know. My hands are freezing."
Hannah: (whispering in my ear) "You need to get a little armpit when we go home."
Today I am grateful for using Mom-maw's Bible today.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 16, 2007
We had a wonderful Homecoming service today. I was able to dedicate this song to Dad:
Special thanks to Ken Asbury who obliged my request and sang.
"Thank You"
I dreamed I went to heaven
And you were there with me
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea
We heard these angels singing
Then someone called your name
You turned and saw this young man
And he was smiling as he came
And he said friend you may not know me now
And then he said, but wait
You used to teach my Sunday School
When I was only eight
And every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start
And one day when you said that prayer
I asked Jesus in my heart
CHORUS
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave
Then another man stood before you
And said remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry
You didn’t have much money
But you gave it anyway
Jesus took the gift you gave
And that’s why I’m heaven today
CHORUS (repeat)
One by one they came
Far as your eyes could see
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity
Little things that you had done
Sacrifices you made
They were unnoticed on the earth
In heaven now proclaimed
And I know that up in heaven
You’re not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord
He said, my child look around you
For great is your reward
CHORUS (repeat)
I am so glad you gave.
Today I am grateful for 30 years in the ministry.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 15, 2007
Tonight was our Homecoming meal and Pastor Appreciation night. Dad is celebrating 30 years as Pastor at our
Church. I picked up Kelle at the airport today, and we were able to surprise my Dad with her. We sneaked to his house and
waited in the living room, and when he came downstairs she was sitting waiting for him. He was so happy to see her, and I am
thrilled she made the trip down to share this very special celebration with our family and our Church.
Today I am grateful for successful surprises.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 14, 2007
I hope you have enjoyed and perhaps even found inspiration in our 45 Day series called "The Spirit of Hope". This
is our concluding thought:
The Spirit of Hope:
"All you've got is all you can give and that will always be enough."
Today I am grateful for very special family surprises.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 13, 2007
It's soccer season! Both girl's coaches have called. Hannah is on the Sting Rays and Abigail is playing for The Crew. Both are still
co-ed teams. Abigail had her first practice tonight and was all smiles. Of the three sports they each play, soccer is my favorite.
The Spirit of Hope:
"No one knows the challenge better than you. Advice is fine, but trust your own instincts, follow your heart. And keep on
keeping on, little by little, one day at a time."
Today I am grateful for a cat who begs to play fetch.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 12, 2007
My first appointment with the new doctor went well. Although I have no definitive answers yet (just a few possibilities),
I had a scan completed and lab work that is currently being processed. We must have those answers before we proceed--and I
return in two weeks for the results. He's running some tests that have not been done to date. I have two additional procedures
tentatively scheduled, one of which I will need to be put to sleep to complete. I am comfortable that at last there is a
plan in place.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Deep inside us, we have a spirit of energy and determination, a spirit that refuses to be broken--and we call this hope.
Even when life's challenges overwhelm us our hope inspires us to rise to new heights."
Today I am grateful for fall temperatures.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday September 11, 2007
Six years.
Never the same.
Forever changed.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Adversity rewrites the stories of our lives, changes the cast of characters, and alters what we expected would happen. Yet the stories go on and some day,
behind the scenes, we'll find the true importance of their twists and turns."
Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday September 10, 2007
I received official confirmation of our $6,365.44 team total from the ACS office. click here to view
If your browser resizes the image, right-click to save to your desktop, then view full size.
Here's a shot of the back of the Relay for Life shirts...every participant received a shirt, and we were proud to be a sponsor
for this year's event! click here to view
For our Crew, we had this sleeve imprint done.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Even a well-planned journey can have a rough road now and then...but somewhere down that road there's a smooth lake."
Today I am grateful for a "stay at home" day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 9, 2007
Ten days, twenty pills. I finished the medicine tonight. The nausea worsened each day and I'm glad I don't have to take
any tomorrow. Wednesday I'll meet with the specialist and go from there.
The Spirit of Hope:
"You never know how far you can go until you envision a distant destination and take the first steps."
Today I am grateful for telephone laughter and first time meetings.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 8, 2007
Frank and the girls left this afternoon to visit his mother. Armed with presents and homemade Grandparents Day cards,
they were off and running. (Adding to the excitement, Hannah lost tooth number two today!) When they called from her house,
they were so excited they were talking nonstop. Grandma bought them bears and they had been playing with Shadow, her dog.
It's quiet here---just me and the cats.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Dreams come true one step at a time."
Today I am grateful for an orderly kitchen.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 7, 2007
"The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand."
The Spirit of Hope:
"Horizons are made for going beyond."
Today I am grateful for afternoon hugs.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 6, 2007
Every three minutes, someone in the United States is diagnosed with breast cancer.
Every THREE minutes.
EVERY THREE MINUTES.
Please perform self exams and have your mammogram!
The Spirit of Hope:
"Dwell in possibilities. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
Today I am grateful for a new watch and a wonderful salesperson.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 5, 2007
"Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing."
Hannah-ism: Our after-school routine includes going through backpacks and reviewing papers, homework,
etc. Hannah had 100's and "super speller" marked on her work.
Me: "Great grades, Hannah. All 100's!!"
Hannah: "When are we going to do something hard? I already know this stuff!!"
The Spirit of Hope:
"Nothing is stronger than the strength of spirit. The body may falter. But inside, unchanging, a spirit brilliant with strength
and resilience shines on. And on. And on."
Today I am grateful for the swirling colors of a koi fish.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday September 4, 2007
The temperatures are soaring, and school is on early release again all this week. They've yet to have a full
day in classes.
With no rain in sight, vegetation is struggling to survive. The container plants on the back deck have done well, and I've
tried to keep them watered in the evenings. Plants in the front haven't fared as well, and most have been pulled from
their pots and discarded for the season.
The Spirit of Hope:
"The stuff that wears on the nerves polishes the soul."
Today I am grateful for challenged thinking.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday September 3, 2007
Four days down, six to go on this latest antibiotic. Although I am not tolerating it well, I think I can make it
through the entire course.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Believing is ninety percent of doing."
Today I am grateful for little girls in dressing rooms, and madras skirts.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 2, 2007
There's a feeling of fall in the air...
The Spirit of Hope:
"Each hopeful moment has a melody all its own."
Today I am grateful for lampe berger creme brulee.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 1, 2007
"Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody."
The Spirit of Hope:
"Even in our winters, there are bright days that bring peaceful and pleasant surprises."
Today I am grateful for fresh strawberries.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 31, 2007
Hannah's first visit from the tooth fairy! all smiles
The Spirit of Hope:
"Just knowing that we're cared about can brighten even the dark of the bleakest winter day."
Today I am grateful for an early morning visit to the car wash.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 30, 2007
Hannah lost her first tooth today! It was so loose, I barely pulled on it after school and it came right out. We noticed
last week that both lower teeth were very loose, and that the permanent teeth were coming up behind them. We've been
laughing with her about her "four teeth". first tooth lost! "holey" smile
It's All Abigail: Abigail had spelling words to study, and also some bonus "challenge" words.
Me: "Let's learn the challenge words, too. You're a straight A student, I'm sure you can do it."
Abigail: "Ok, but I can't say one of them ."
Me: "It's chrys-an-the-mum. Remember those flowers I just put in the containers out front?"
Abigail: "The yellow and purple ones?"
Me: "Yeah, those. Most people call them mums, but their real name is chrysanthemum."
Abigail: "Oh! Well, can I just write mum on the test? It means the same thing!"
The Spirit of Hope:
"Trouble may run deep, but love always runs deeper."
Today I am grateful for the hummingbird who spends most of his day with me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 29, 2007
The Tazewell County Relay For Life has just held their yearly wrap-up meeting.
I am happy to say that Carolynn's Crew raised $6,365.44 for this years event. We were the fifth highest ranking team, even though we
had the fewest members. Because we committed to this event late, this was accomplished in a three month period.
The County total was $70,105.69--we were just short of raising 10% of the event total!
For all of you that supported us, I thank you--and to the dedicated members of Carolynn's Crew---WE DID IT!!!
As I posted earlier, online totals are not accurate. I will be receiving a written verification of our total any day now, and will
post that as soon as it arrives.
The Spirit of Hope:
"The world is half as heavy when two shoulder it together...and sometimes simply holding hands is holding on to everything."
Today I am grateful for "non-invasive" report results.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for empty laundry baskets.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 27, 2007
Today I had a follow-up test, hoping that I would finally be infection free. The results were not what I wanted. I still have a
major infection, and no one can tell me yet why it isn't responding to medication. I've been referred to a specialist on Sept. 12,
and will try to take a ten day course of another medication in the interim.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Trust. Just be. Take a risk. Go back to bed. Be still. Watch mindless TV. Eat extra dessert. Take a hot bath. Be amazing. Believe. Sleep in.
Have more chocolate. Light a candle. Rest. Dream. Hope. Hold on. Keep going."
Today I am grateful for Heather.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday August 26, 2007
I've been working on moving pictures from albums to archival boxes, bits at a time. It's brought back some wonderful memories,
laughter, and tears.
Abigail was the mischievous one, from the day she was born. From ripping her room apart, and throwing Cheerios everywhere to writing on the
walls and pouring powder on everything in sight---it was never safe to turn your back on that girl. That's sometimes still the case! Lipstick Face, January 2002 (age 3½)
The Spirit of Hope:
"When you call on your strength you find that place inside that is free of stress and home to a calm mind and spirit."
Today I am grateful for Uno and laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday August 25, 2007
The heat wave continues...
We hit 90 degrees so infrequently that when it does reach that temperature, the neighboring town serves lemonade. In the past two
to three weeks, the heat has been intolerable. We've gone as high as 96 degrees. By 9am, the sun is already baking the earth. It appears that
we will break the record for number of days in the nineties this summer. We don't have central air conditioning here, because
open windows and ceiling fans are preferred....and usually more than sufficient at keeping the heat away.
It's so hot that the school sent this note
home yesterday. Our schools have no air conditioning, and the children are wilting from the heat. They are not allowed outside
for recess or gym, and have been asked to bring frozen water bottles to keep on their desks.
While other parts of the country are flooding, we are in need of a steady rain. The grass is mostly brown and hasn't been mowed
in a couple weeks. If we do, it will just kill what's left.
And by the way, yesterday's hummingbird was back this morning, and stayed most of the day.
The Spirit of Hope:
"It's OK to tell whoever is raising the high bar to give it a rest."
Today I am grateful for a ceramic cat creamer.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 24, 2007 THIS is one of the many reasons
I love living here. Today this hummingbird spent seven hours guarding the feeder. Another bird would come around, he would chase it off,
then return to his "perch".
The pics are a bit cloudy, from being taken through the window: another shot close up
The Spirit of Hope:
"In the best stories there's a part where the heroine decides enough is enough. We love that part."
Today I am grateful for weeded flower beds.
Thank you God, for another day.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Though at times the story of your life is unsettled, at its center there is the certainty of hope and the promise of good things to come."
Today I am grateful for backyard bicycle races.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 22, 2007
"There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less
tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down -- until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event
that must occur in our lives before we begin living."
The Spirit of Hope:
"Fear and worry are normal, natural reactions to threats, but so are courage and hope...and they are the stronger, the more enduring."
Today I am grateful for the sound of hummingbird wings.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday August 21, 2007
Summer break has passed so quickly! School starts Thursday morning, and each day for just over a week I've been waking the girls
15 minutes earlier to get them ready for the school routine--up at 6:30am. Tonight both girls had orientation, and met their
teachers. Andrew and Hannah share a class again, but unfortunately her best friend Gabby has another teacher. Their rooms
are side by side, though. Callie isn't in Abigail's room (but Faith is), and they are hoping they'll have math or other classes together. We
also learned they'll be in school for an extra 35 minutes (and still starting at the same time). Between homework, sports (soccer starts in September), dinner....it seems our
children are really being pushed into tighter and tighter schedules.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Even the strongest people must step back, take a deep breath, and summon their courage now and then."
Today I am grateful for Dr. Deel, the most compassionate veterinarian I have ever known.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 20, 2007
It's been eight years, and I still miss him. Petie
The Spirit of Hope:
"The pressures and problems that sometimes surround us are often defeated by the courage and strength that are always within us."
Today I am grateful for an animals unconditional love.
Thank you God, for another day.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Nurture your hopes. Hold them close and understand that they are seeds of good things to come."
Today I am grateful for a wonderful breeze.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday August 18, 2007
"Pushing hard against the walls, she broke through into a sea of vulnerability. It's where she knew she had to be--if
she was ever going to honestly know love."
The Spirit of Hope:
"The apple tree itself, if it ever found a voice, could tell us some things about life: Bow to storms-- they will pass. You can bend in the wind without breaking. You don't know
how strong you are until your strength is tested."
Today I am grateful for the lingering memories of Sam.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 17, 2007
"They know me in a way no one else ever has. They open me to things I never knew existed. They drive me to insanity and push me to
my depths. They are the beat of my heart, the pulse in my veins, and the energy in my soul--they are my kids." taken on my five year remission date
The Spirit of Hope:
"In the seed is an apple you can't yet see."
Today I am grateful for girls day out with Golday and Poppy.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 16, 2007 Hannah-ism: Hannah has a few beanie "buddies" (the larger version of beanie babies), and some have
plastic eyes instead of stitched eyes. She somehow believes they are real.
Hannah: "I like that one because it has real eyes."
Me: "How would it have real eyes?"
Hannah: "It was done before the Ten Commandments."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Hannah: "They took the eyes from someone before the Ten Commandments came out that said you couldn't kill anybody."
It's All Abigail: Hannah was scrambling through the grass and picked up a cricket. She casually let it sit on her hand,
but Abigail didn't want to be anywhere near the insect.
Abigail: "That's Hannah all right-- she's got a big streak of boy in her!"
The Spirit of Hope:
"Hope tucks itself into the most unexpected places."
Today I am grateful for freshly potted mums.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 15, 2007
I am happy to say that my pain levels have decreased significantly for two straight days. It was just the reprieve I
needed. The new medication is making me more sick as each day passes. If there is no improvement by tomorrow, I'll have
to come off of it and see what options are available to me.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Hope is the belief in things unseen."
Today I am grateful for new purple blooms with beautiful shades of lavender.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday August 14, 2007
"Perhaps strength doesn't reside in having never been broken...but in the courage required to grow strong in the broken places."
The Spirit of Hope:
"Sometimes the longer we sit and listen to the quiet, the more we come to know our inner strengths."
Today I am grateful for Kelle, who is always available to listen.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 13, 2007
Ah, the eighties...
I was eighteen years old when my youngest brother was born. How cute is this? Just before his third birthday, 1984
The Spirit of Hope:
"There is a quiet place somewhere beyond tomorrow where your heart will find peace and the mists of troubles will begin to clear away."
Today I am grateful for little brothers.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday August 12, 2007
I'm on my seventh day of the new med, and at times I think I may be adjusting, but then the side effects return. I'm
willing to keep on trying, it's too soon to give it up and too important to ridding my body of infection.
As much as I don't want to write this...it seems my body has hit the limit on what physical therapy will do for me. I was told
on Friday that this next week will be the end, and I'll get more details tomorrow. I'm happy that my shoulder is back in place,
but the pain level continues to increase. My neck is being brought back into alignment, but the pain is not subsiding. It's
the most intense in my neck and moves throughout my shoulders and shoulder blades. At times, I cannot bear to lean back in a chair.
I've moved from controllable and acceptable pain and discomfort to days where I truly suffer. Those days seem to creep up on
me more and more often. I'm not looking for a pain-free life, because that isn't possible any longer. I just need to be able to
function at a reasonable level. After I have my final appointments with PT, I'll need to make a decision on what is the best
way to manage the chronic pain. I'm not sure how much is coming from the bulging disc in my neck, but I think the fibromyalgia is my worst
enemy at the moment. Although this is discouraging, I'm not counting myself out. I just need to make some sort of adjustment
and move another thing into the "acceptance" column.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Roots of courage yield blossoms of joy."
Today I am grateful for new mums.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday August 11, 2007
After a couple days practice, today Hannah learned to ride her bike without training wheels. I still remember what that freedom felt
like when I was young. The glee on her face said it all.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Each drop of rain is a promise of growth."
Today I am grateful for Bobby D's hayride.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 10, 2007
Children seem to always know just what you need. Abigail surprised me with the gift of art and prose.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Each sunrise reminds us that miracles happen."
Today I am grateful for a surprise guest book entry.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 9, 2007
Another of nature's gifts: hibiscus stamen
The Spirit of Hope:
"Flowers wait patiently for the sun to return, knowing it always will."
Today I am grateful for hummingbirds.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 8, 2007 Hannah-ism:
Hannah: "Mommy, Abigail is like a girly-girl."
Me: "She is?"
Hannah: "Yeah. She cares about her clothes and combing her hair." (the word "combing" was said in a valley girl voice)
Hannah: "I'm a tom-boy though. I'm not even afraid of ants!"
The Spirit of Hope:
"Even during the most troubled times, every once in a while, heaven breaks over the mountains to encourage us."
Today I am grateful for hibiscus blooms.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday August 7, 2007
Today, someone I care for for very much was diagnosed with cancer. Although she isn't my mom, I still call her "Mom".
We've known for a few days that it was almost certain to be cancer...but the pathology confirmed it today. The black and white
fact of it all makes it very real, and I am heartsick. I wish I could be there, physically present, but I am too far away.
I am here, praying. I know God sees a bigger picture than we do. He always does. Sometimes we only see that in hindsight--
I know that from personal experience.
Please continue to pray for my dear friend Penny's father, who suffered a heart attack last Monday. He's going through
a tough spot right now, and the family can use all the support we can give.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Trouble lives its season, shadows our hearts until it is spent. It changes the landscape, but leaves a space for the light
to return."
Today I am grateful for divine intervention.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 6, 2007
"Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends
everything."
One day down, 99 to go on the new meds! Hopefully this will be the end of my battle with ongoing infections.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Hope quietly abides in our souls and whispers comfort on our journeys when we need it most."
Today I am grateful for podcasts.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday August 5, 2007
We're back home tonight and unpacked. Frank returns to work tomorrow morning, and it seems like the week was entirely too short.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Courage is doing what you must when doing what you must is the hardest thing of all."
Today I am grateful for happy cats.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday August 4, 2007
Another hot day in Roanoke...upper nineties and very humid. We spent the day shopping and hanging out in our room. Dippin' Dots
were the perfect way to cool down. After seeing a movie last night, there wasn't really anything else in the theatre that was
appropriate for the girls, so Frank suggested that we do a "pay per view" at the hotel. We stopped at the store for movie snacks,
piled in the beds and watched "The Last Mimzy". It was a nice relaxing evening.
The Spirit of Hope:
"The journey of healing takes patience and time, love and support, courage and hope."
Today I am grateful for air conditioning.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 3, 2007
Frank has been on vacation this week, most of it spent at home. He has replaced the entire roof, removed the exterior down to the studs, put
up new boards, and replaced the windows of the storage building in our back yard. It's ready for the siding now, and soon
will have a cottage look that better matches our house.
After this morning's physical therapy, we headed to Roanoke for a couple nights.
It was in the upper 90's today, and I'm glad the Marriott Courtyard has an indoor pool. Abigail and Hannah were able to enjoy
a swim without fear of sunburn or exhaustion from the heat. We spent the afternoon hours in the pool, and in the evening we
surprised the girls by going to see "Underdog". It was a fun movie night.
The Spirit of Hope:
"Bad things may happen to us, but they do not change who we are."
Today I am grateful for a weekend escape.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 2, 2007
I received a special gift from the pond today....double pink
The Spirit of Hope:
"Through challenges, we grow braver, become stronger, emerge more confident than ever."
Today I am grateful for color.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 1, 2007
After five weeks in physical therapy, my left shoulder has almost pulled into place and that is a considerable
improvement. The shoulder blade is still winging, because I haven't increased the muscle strength enough yet to hold it
in place. Unfortunately, my body has decided to fight the physical therapy process. I am now working on getting my neck
properly aligned, and all of the muscles in my neck and upper back are resistant to the change. My pain level is fairly
high at this point, and I hope to be able to push through. At some point, with continued ultrasound and massage therapy,
working on the home exercises and postural changes, the muscles will be "retrained".
I was able to talk with Dr. Stefanini today. He is taking an entirely different approach than the other physicians to the
problem with ongoing infection. That's what I was counting on. He's always had answers for me when no one else did, and I
have no reason to doubt his wisdom this time. On Monday, I will begin a new medication---one that I will take for just over
three months (100 days). My only concern is one of it's side effects: nausea. With my stomach's low tolerance for medications,
this could pose a problem. I really need to be able to tolerate this drug for an extended period of time. I covet your prayers.
I think it's also a great time to start a new sentiment, "The Spirit of Hope". (I'll continue this theme for forty-five days)
The Spirit of Hope:
"It is the nature of the world to provide challenges. It is human nature to support one another as we strive to overcome
them."
Today I am grateful, again, for Dr. Stefanini.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 31, 2007
When a lump or other suspicious symptom is discovered, one thing I often hear from people who are hesitant to follow through
with testing is the fear that they will be told they have cancer. Although I understand that fear, there IS something worse
than hearing that you have cancer...being told you have it and realizing that it would have been treatable if caught earlier.
"If only I'd been to the doctor sooner."
If you suspect any problem, please go to the doctor. EARLY DETECTION is key...and don't forget to perform monthly self exams.
Here's a reinforcement:
ABC "Good Morning America" anchor Robin Roberts has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will be undergoing surgery Friday.
Robin Roberts' breast cancer is in the early stages, she says.
Roberts, 46, told viewers about her cancer on Tuesday morning's show.
"I am so blessed that I found this in the early stages and the prognosis is so promising that my doctor expects me to be
flying planes and hanging on to submarines in the middle of the Atlantic and scaling the Mayan pyramids in no time," she said.
Roberts, who is co-anchor of "Good Morning America" with Diane Sawyer, said she examined herself and found a lump on her breast the same day
she had done a report on former "GMA" movie critic Joel Siegel, who died of colon cancer last month.
Roberts, who is single, said there is no history in her family of breast cancer.
Today I am grateful for the graceful curves of a koi fish.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 30, 2007 Hannah-ism: It seems Hannah has had a change of heart on her career plans:
Hannah: "After I have my baby, I'm going to find someone to watch it for me while I go do the news and then on to my
firefighters job."
Me: "You're going to have two jobs?"
Hannah: "Yeah. While I'm on break at the news I can go do my firefighters job. Or they can call me and I'll
take a break."
Today I am grateful for my new friend Stephanie.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday July 29, 2007
REMINISCING~
Many of you may not know about Hannah's Tree and Abigail's Lilac. Just after Hannah was born, we were gifted with a tree to plant
for Hannah, and a lilac for Abigail. Our friend Laura did a lot of leg work (thanks Laura!!), and we were able to make a selection for each of
the girls. We decided to wait until Hannah's first birthday to make the purchase and plant her tree.
Here's a look back in time:
Today I am grateful for photography.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 28, 2007
I received this card recently and thought I would share it here:
"Deep inside us, there is a place where faith flows freely and hope runs deep, a place where we can go to be refreshed and to
remember who we really are...And who we are is not illness or weakness or any kind of problem. We are eternal. We are loved.
We are children of God."
Today I am grateful for Stripey, the new family fish.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 27, 2007
"When we tire of well-worn ways, we seek for new. This restless craving in the souls of men spurs them to climb, and to seek
the mountain view."
Today I am grateful for an endless blooming passion flower.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 26, 2007
Tonight I had the privilege of speaking to a local cancer support group. I shared my story, as well as pictures of
the girls when Hannah was born and one of them now. I also had a great picture of Dr. Stefanini holding Hannah at one month
old, and my album of the "head shaving party".
Thank you, Kay, for making this opportunity available to me. I am humbled. I have never been so warmly received. To those of
you that attended, I thank you. Your kindness is very much appreciated. I'm just an email or phone call away.
Special thanks to Mom for going with me, Connie and Vivian for coming to show their support, and a surprise visit from
my aunt, "Ena". I love you all very much.
Today I am grateful for feeling at home, and at peace.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday July 25, 2007
My new hard drive is installed and I am slowly getting everything in place. After I did the quick back-up
on an external hard drive, the original hard drive failed. Completely. The laptop never rebooted after that process.
I got the back-up by the skin of my teeth!
THANK YOU, BEAV!
Today I am grateful for a brother who loves me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 24, 2007
"Fear is the opportunity for courage, not proof of cowardice."
"Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you."
"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared."
"To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeated."
Today I am grateful for the power of words.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 23, 2007
Physical therapy is going well. I am definitely seeing an ongoing improvement in my muscle tone and less inflammation.
I'm now able to increase the reps for the simple exercises I am doing at home with the band. I've been approved for another
month, and feel good about the future.
Unfortunately, there is no clear answer on the continuing infections. The IVP report shows proper kidney function and apparently
no stones. I do have numerous calcifications in my pelvis that were not present two years ago. I'll take those films to
Dr. Stefanini for review and get his opinion on the possible source of the numerous infections that continue to return, both
in my kidneys and elsewhere.
Today I am grateful for the booming sound of thunder.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday July 22, 2007
"Good thought and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but
saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles."
Today I am grateful for family giggles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 21, 2007
My laptop is crashing, and I can hear the hard drive failing. I'm doing a quick back up and hoping for the best. If the hard drive
is gone, I'll be offline until I can get a new one ordered and in place.
Today I am grateful for a reprieve from the heat.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 20, 2007
School doesn't start for a month, but the girls have received their supply lists and teachers names. They've spent
the last three days calling everyone they know to see who's in their classroom. Hannah and Andrew are very excited that
they are in the same class again this year. Now they eagerly await the trip to Wal-Mart for their classroom supplies!
Today I am grateful for children who love school.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 19, 2007
I had the IVP this morning. They reviewed a few images and requested several additional shots. I hope to have results
tomorrow. The prep for this test has been especially draining, perhaps because I went into it physically compromised already.
I do know my blood pressure has dropped fairly low for a few weeks now and I am extremely fatigued. I look forward to
seeing Dr. Stefanini soon.
Today I am grateful that this test is finally behind me.
Thank you God, for another day.
ACTION ALERT:
As a Champion for the Cure, you know we fight the battle against breast cancer on many fronts. We often turn to you for help
in passing legislation or obtaining key funding for cancer detection and treatment. But in the fight against breast cancer,
not every step forward happens on Capitol Hill.
Sometimes it's as simple as mailing a letter.
The ground-breaking Breast Cancer Research Stamp was introduced in 1998 - and it's since become the top-selling commemorative
postal stamp in U.S. history, raising more than $55.5 million for breast cancer research.
But right now, the stamp is facing a battle of its own. If Congress fails to authorize it this year - or make it permanent -
the U.S. Postal Service will stop making it and we'll lose one of our best resources for innovative cancer research funding.
It's clear that the American people love the Breast Cancer Research Stamp. It offers us all an easy way to become an everyday
hero in the battle against breast cancer - when we're paying our bills, sending holiday greetings, or mailing a birthday card
to a loved one. The program is working - so why would Congress just let it slip away?
Luckily, Congressmen Joe Baca (D-CA) and William Lacy Clay (D-MO) and Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) have taken the lead by
introducing legislation that will keep this stamp in your local post office. But they need YOUR legislators to join them!
Don't let the Breast Cancer Research Stamp disappear! Tell your legislators to support the Breast Cancer Reauthorization Act
today.
Thank you for standing up for this convenient and effective way to fund the innovative research that will one day save
thousands of lives.
Diane Balma
Vice President of Public Policy
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
Wednesday July 18, 2007
One thing that is important to me is commitment. Most people that know me would agree that I take it very seriously. I'm
an "all in" or "all out" type person. I've found some good quotes on that very subject.
"There are only two options regarding commitment; you're either in or you're out. There's no such thing as life in-between."
"A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding
than a decision."
"I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy."
"Reality forms around your commitments. The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it."
Today I am grateful for a laugh filled telephone rant.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 17, 2007
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
I'm honored to share with you Penny's story of participating in the Danskin Women's Triathlon (for breast cancer). This
was her first triathlon, and she also well surpassed her fund raising goal. Pen, I'm proud to call you friend.
Here's are Penny's own words:
Danskin Triathlon Expo 7/7
Erin & I arrived near the race venue at 10:00 AM. Right on time. The line of traffic waiting to enter the lot was backed up
at least a mile. We sat & waited about 30 minutes before we were able to get into the lot & park.
We entered the Lakeview RecPlex at about 10:35 AM. The room was full of the buzz of excitement & anticipation of tomorrow's
event.
Erin & I split up to make picking up race materials go more quickly. Turned out to be a great plan. Our lines were about the
same length, and we finished at about the same time. When picking up our materials we found out our swim waves. I was wave
#16 - Yellow & Erin was #28 - Purple. (The colors are the color of cap our wave wore.) We then had our timing chips scanned
to verify all the information linked to them was correct.
Then we were off to pick up our shirts, swim caps, and great bag from Danskin. There were goodies all around from race sponsors.
The best by far had to be the folding tool from the great people at Trek.
Neither of us thought the first timer's overview would help us with anything we could change the day before the race so we
skipped it. There was still a lot of time until the next course overview so we decided to skip it too. I don't think we would
have been any better prepared had we seen either one of those. We knew the course, we swam in that lake before, and were as
pepped as we were going to be at that point in time.
We went back to the car to get out bikes for racking. The line for racking had to be about a mile long when we got back from
the car. Fortunately, a volunteer opened another gate for racking & we weren't too far from it. We split up again to rack and
met back at the gate. I got a great spot. My rack was about half way between the swim finish & the run start. I was lucky to
be able to get a spot near the end of the rack. Erin got a great spot too, but she was closer to the bike start/finish than I
was. At this point we were both hating the heat and were a little worried about how it would affect us tomorrow.
A quick stop at The Brat Stop for lunch, and then we headed home. I relaxed most of the afternoon & evening. I planned on heading
to bed early, but wasn't that tired. I didn't want to lie in bed awake thinking about how I should be sleeping so I stayed up until
about 10:30.
Race Day 7/8
I was up just before 3:00 AM, and we were on the road by 4:20 AM. We had to catch a shuttle from Dairyland Greyhound Park to
the race site. Parking and catching the shuttle were a piece of cake. (Erin was not so lucky! She left her house about an hour
after we left ours. Arrived to near Dairyland at about 6:00 AM and waited in traffic for over an hour.)
Bob & Olivia were with me. I sat with them for a few minutes before I went to set up my transition area. Unfortunately, I made
a rookie mistake when I racked my bike yesterday. I left too much space between my bike and the one on the end. My bike was "bumped"
from the second to the third spot on the rack. Still easy to find.
I joined Bob & Olivia again for a little while. We were watching for Erin not knowing how she was stuck in the horrible traffic.
The start of the race was actually delayed because of the traffic. They also allowed anyone who missed their swim wave to
join one when they were ready.
At about 7AM I began walking over to the swim start area. A slow take in all the sights & sounds walk. As I walked along the
run path, I wondered about the stories of these women. About half way along the path, I came across a woman who had just finished
chemo treatments. Her complexion was beautiful & flawless. I will carry the image of her in my mind always. As I passed her,
the emotion of the day began to hit me. A tear trickled down my cheek. As competitors continued to walk a man began to speak about
Danskin Triathlon traditions and other things that would happen today. A beautiful instrumental played for a few minutes before
the National Anthem. The woman who sang it had a beautiful voice. The emotion of the day hit me again at that point and a few
more tears flowed.
It was now time for the triathlon to get underway. The first wave, The Elite, are brought down into the water. They have a
few minutes with Sally Edwards, National Spokeswoman for the Danskin Women's Triathlon Series. The Danskin traditional countdown
began. 10 9 8... and the first wave was off! The event I have worked so hard to prepare for is here.
The second wave, Survivors, is brought to the water. Just about 30 seconds until they are on their way. The following waves
go every 4 minutes!
I finally spot Erin in the crowd. She didn't get to see the start of the event because of the traffic at the shuttle pick up
site. While I missed her & am sad she missed the start of the event, I was (am) thankful I had that alone time to experience
the sights, sounds, and emotions of the day.
Erin & I talked for a few minutes before I headed over to the swim start to join my fellow yellow capped, 35-39 year olds.
We visited with one another. Talked about race numbers, triathlon training, our strengths/weaknesses, and triathlon experience.
There was only one other woman near me who was a first timer. The veterans encouraged us! Suddenly, the crowd behind us and
to the right began to roar. The first runner was coming by. She completed the .5 mile swim, the 12 mile bike, and part of the
3 mile run before we were even hitting the water. I would estimate she did that in less than 45 minutes.
As our group was "on deck" for the swim Disco Inferno by The Trammps played. We all sang and danced to keep loose and get pepped up.
The 15th wave was off and that means we are next. Looking around I see a few women who look a little nervous about the swim.
The group I was talking to all looked pretty confident. We are in the front line of the wave. I was front & center! :) One of
the Danskin Angels, the swim volunteers, leads us in some cheering. Asks us a few questions about who we are going to pass
first (pink caps -- wave 15), and who we aren't going to let pass (green caps -- wave 17). She then gave us a word to remember
as we go through the day - FANTASTIC! We are to use that word to remind us we are fantastic swimmers, fantastic bikers, fantastic
runners, and fantastic triathletes. The countdown begins 10 9 8... and we were off. It felt really great, but the sun glare
made sighting something on shore very difficult. Twice I swam outside the buoys and had to swim back to the right. I still
felt like I was making really good time. I could see myself passing pink caps and only saw one green cap pass me. Bob said
in my wave there were only about six women out of the water before me.
Swim Time 00:16:28
Rank 1065/3919
I ran to my bike. T1 went quickly and pretty well. I know I can shave more time off of it for next year.
T1 Time 00:03:11
The bike was tough. A lot tougher than I had anticipated due to the high winds, the heat, and the HILLS! I also need to look
into getting a road bike for these events. The wide mountain bike tires are killers on a road in a race.
Bike Time 00:57:07
Rank 3051/3919 (UGH -- definitely needs work)
I hopped off the bike at the dismount point and my legs felt like Jell-O -- not the bricks I was expecting. Ah, a watering
station. I wove my way between the racks to my area. I racked my bike and I was off.
T2 Time 00:02:04
Ah, another splash of water before I ran. My legs didn't feel too bad at all when I began the run. I think to myself I might
be able to run the whole thing. I guess I though that too soon because shortly I felt my heart rate soar. I slowed to a slow
jog. A lady points out that I had forgotten to take off my helmet after the bike. Oh, crap (excuse my french...lol)! I take
it off and try to figure out what I am going to do with it. I thought about throwing it down in the grass, but eventually I
looped the strap onto my tank top. Looking back, I should have thrown it down. Bob saw me running with the helmet and when I
took it off. He was trying to run after me to get it. He said it was pretty sad he couldn't catch me even after I had just
finished the swim & the bike when he had done nothing but walk...lol.
The heat during the first half of the run was brutal. I did a little running and walking. I wanted to be able to RUN across
that finish line and wanted to conserve that energy so I could. The watering station at about half way was a welcome sight.
As was the Jelly Belly Sports Beans station, but neither of those were as good as the hose the firefighters had to spray us.
I drank the water, ate half a package of the sports beans, and enjoyed the water from the hose. The course continued on
about a quarter mile before we got to turn around and enjoy those three stations again. At the half mile left mark we got
the biggest boost any triathlete could hope for -- an open fire hydrant! More pressure than that hose and just what I needed
to refresh me for the home stretch. I ran the entire last mile and it was so exciting to see the word FINISH up ahead. Sally
Edwards was there cheering us on, and as we crossed the finish line our names were announced and we were given a medal!
Run Time 00:43:40
Rank 3076/3919
Total Time 02:02:33
Overall Rank 2636/3919
Class Rank (35-39) 460/578
I did it! I am a triathlete!
The Danskin Triathlon was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support.
I could not have done this without you.
Penny
Today I am grateful for soft spoken words and reaffirmations.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 16, 2007
The battle with bacteria continues. This time it's a stronger infection. I'm back on a high dose antibiotic and will have the
IVP Thursday. Once I have those results, I am going to meet with Dr. Stefanini. I trust him to find answers that others can't.
I moved a step up in physical therapy today. I've regained more range of motion in my neck, and although it isn't 100%, it's
an improvement. I've now been given two very limited exercises to try...and if they don't injure me, I'll be taking the
first step toward building strength in the muscles at my shoulder blades.
Today I am grateful for "Edgar", who made me laugh.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: We were out and a song came on that began with the line "This is for all you sophisticated
ladies out there."
Hannah: "Mommy, that's you!"
Me: "Ah, thank you, honey."
Hannah, leans over to her sister, whispering: "What does that mean, anyway? I don't even know!"
Sunday July 15, 2007
"A bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn."
Today I am grateful for Paul Thomas.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 14, 2007
Please spread the word...Dale Cooper is seeking someone in North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming to complete his
Pink Ribbon Globe of Support Project (PRGSP). It just takes an email. This project is to honor his wife, Monica, who passed
away on June 26, at 42 years old. click here to read more.
Today I am grateful for amazing, courageous men, who support their wives through cancer and beyond.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 13, 2007
"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight."
PT seems to be making an improvement. The inflammation in some areas has reduced, and muscle tone is improving near
my neck. I still do not have full range or motion nor can I lean against any hard surface without pain, primarily in my
shoulder blade. The shoulder blade is winging, because the muscle is not strong enough to hold it in place. I'm not lifting much of anything,
to give my body every chance to heal. The therapy does leave me sore, but I am pleased with the progress so far. As soon as
the muscle tone is restored, I can begin slow strength training. The next goal would be to have enough strength restored to
correct the winging, pull my shoulder back in place, and enable me to stand upright with my head/neck properly aligned. Beyond
that, I would regain strength to lift small amounts of weight, and function on a bit more normal level.
Today I am grateful for easy conversations in my driveway, and VBS.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 12, 2007 HEAL (living well after cancer) is a new
magazine, from the publishers of CURE. I've been a CURE subscriber for a few years now. HEAL's goal is to address survivor
issues, and it has come none too soon.
Here's an excerpt:
From the moment history first recorded cancer, there was also, in some small way, cancer survivorship. But that was only the
beginning of the story. Like a mighty river, time and circumstance have helped what was once a trickle swell into a flowing
force — one able to reshape the landscape around it. While survivors are on the march for cancer’s cures, many are also
navigating more personal, and sometimes private, territory: the realization that the disease can change a person fundamentally,
body and soul. It can disfigure, and it can heal. “The Humpty Dumpty idea of ‘as good as new’ — a powerfully appealing notion
for cancer patients — simply does not pertain,” physician and cancer survivor Fitzhugh Mullan, MD, wrote in a landmark medical
journal piece in 1985. “For better and for worse, physically and emotionally, the experience leaves an impression. No matter
how long we live, cancer patients are survivors — at once wary and relieved, bashful and proud.”
This has been a burden on my heart for a very long time. It seemed as though the issues many survivors have to deal with are
the "great unspoken", or perhaps "cancer's dirty little secret". For some patients, when treatment is over, they reclaim their
lives. Physically they return to their normal, pre-cancer selves. For others, nothing could be further from the truth. I belong
to that second group.
I knew about cancer. I knew it was a life-threatening disease. I knew my diagnosis was a fight for my life, and that of my
unborn child. I went into it, ready to fight with all I had inside me. And fight I did. I survived.
Remission is a major milestone. When treatment is over, you are given the all clear, you are grateful that the disease has
been kept at bay. People also expect that "you're all better." I absolutely believed that I would complete treatment and then
be back to my original physical state. This is where I was very, very wrong. No one told me that we all don't bounce right
back.
Initially, I fought against the set backs. "I'll be better than ever" was my mantra. "It won't take me down" as I walked ten
miles just days after my second mastectomy. I wanted to "prove" that I could be better than ever. I was wrong.
Perhaps, we as survivors, being so grateful for the sparing of our lives, don't want to speak out. After all, look how
many people die from this horrible disease. Shouldn't we be grateful just for merely surviving? By speaking out, are
we sounding as though "surviving" just isn't enough? Do we even have that right? I know I've had my struggles with those
very feelings. I thank God every day that I am alive, and don't ever want to take my survival for granted.
Secondly, by speaking out, we risk instilling more fear into the current patient. We want them to be optimistic, we want them to believe.
I have spoken many times about the various physical issues that I have battled, and continue to deal with in life after
treatment. I do want to remain optimistic about the future of my health. But, I have learned to accept a "new normal"
and as time passes, that "new normal" changes. It's not always easy to deal with limitations that are beyond your control.
I have learned that acceptance isn't surrender. That's a big lesson, and one I continue to settle into. I will never give up
the fight, but accepting the reality of a situation will help me, not harm me. It's a fine line to walk, and I learn more
every day. You accept what must be accepted and work on that which you think can improve.
I hope this will be an ongoing dialogue. It's important to us as survivors. But it's also important to those in treatment.
Patients need to be told that they can live full, happy lives after treatment ends-- it just might be a "new normal".
And sometimes, traveling down a new path can bring unexpected blessings.
Today I am grateful for new paths, twists, and turns.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday July 11, 2007
I have just accepted a speaking engagement at a cancer support group in a neighboring town in two weeks. I look forward to
sharing my story with others...survivors and those in treatment. We are a group with a common bond, and in that
"kinship" there is safety, support, and true understanding. Not just for them, but for me, too.
Today I am grateful for the scent of a gentle rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 10, 2007
I am a woman.
I am a wife.
I am a mother.
I am a child of God.
and...
I am "just a girl".
"Only about three things in life are truly important--every thing else is just a distraction."
Today I am grateful for Melody.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 9, 2007
If you have contacted me via email, I may be a bit late in responding. While undergoing physical therapy, it is difficult
to spend extended amounts of time at the computer wihout compromising the work that is currently being done on my body. Thank
you for understanding, and I'll be back emailing on a more regular schedule soon!
Today I am grateful for shelter from the heat.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: We've tried to teach our girls to pray using whatever words are in their hearts, and not to recite
the same things, even at grace before a meal. This is one line of Hannah's grace this morning:
Hannah: "And I love you more than you love me."
Me, after her prayer was finished: "That's a good prayer, Hannah. But guess what? Jesus is one person who loves us so much
we can never love Him more."
Hannah: "But last night I prayed to Him and said I loved Him past the universe and the numbers, and those never end!!"
Sunday July 8, 2007
I'm putting this entry up early today, because as I write this, Penny is well on her way into participating in the
Danskin Women's Triathlon.
This is her first triathlon, and she has trained hard. Unfortunately, the weather forecast is cruel for the day, with temperatures
soring into the upper 90's. It's supposed to be cloudy, so I hope that helps her in some small way.
Danskin, Inc. has teamed with these sponsor partners: Toyota, MassMutual Financial Group, Bic®, Trek®, Shape, Helzberg Diamonds, Jelly Belly Sport Beans®,
Crocs and Contrex® Natural Mineral Water. After a successful 2006 season, Danskin is once again proud that The Breast Cancer
Research Foundation continues to be the Official Charity for the 2007 Danskin Women's Triathlon Series. Danskin will donate
10% of all entry fees received to this outstanding organization. In addition to this Corporate donation, 100% of funds raised
by participants through the Danskin Women's Triathlon Series Pledge Program, are divided equally between The Breast Cancer
Research Foundation and National Association of TEAM Survivor,
a nonprofit organization that provides free group exercise, health education classes and support programs for women who have
a present or past diagnosis of cancer.
Penny, I am so proud of you...your fund raising, commitment, and training.
Today I am grateful for genuine caring.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 7, 2007
I am sore from PT yesterday, which is to be expected. It was a bit difficult to move throughout the day, but by evening
I had loosened up somewhat. In addition to the ultrasound and massage therapy, we are trying Kinesio Taping along my
neck. My PT has used it extensively--- she explained the process, I read through some information and agreed to try it. After spending so
much time in various physicians offices over the past several months, I am glad to try a different approach. This gives me
a better feeling of control over my own health, and belief that if I do what my body needs, it can heal itself (with God's will)
in this particular muscular situation.
Today I am grateful for little girls and swimming pools.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 6, 2007
Carolynn's Crew Germany is now online! click here to view
Thank you Alex, for your ongoing support and commitment! You are a wonderfully sincere person.
Just a quick update, medically...
Although Abigail had a three day extension before her release, she has now fully healed, regained her energy, and back to normal.
I'm glad the surgery is behind her, and hope it will limit the amount of sickness she has experienced in the past.
For me, there is no definitive answer to the ongoing infections. The IVP has been rescheduled for next Thursday, to rule out
the possibility of kidney stones.
I've started physical therapy. After two days of an initial evaluation, my treatment plan is now in place, and I am undergoing
two forms of treatment simultaneously.
Iontophoresis is being done on my left elbow, three times a week for four weeks. (Iontophoresis is the process by which drugs, usually
dexamethasone and lidocaine, are introduced into a joint or small body part via electrical current. It is non-invasive, painless
and it eliminates potential side effects and adverse reactions which can occur with medications delivered orally or by injection)
I have now had four different diagnoses on my arm, everything from TOS or ulnar nerve compression to cubital tunnel syndrome and problems
stemming from a cervical issue. I have chosen this form of therapy (recommended by my rheumatologist), and have canceled
follow up appointments with both surgeons. Since there doesn't seem to be a clear answer, I am taking a break from the other
professionals and doing what I think is the most reasonable option first. I think it's time to step back in and do a few things on
my terms.
The second part of my treatment is ultrasound therapy and deep tissue massage. This is being done primarily on my neck and shoulder blades.
I've had three sessions so far and am optimistic that once the muscle inflammation is reduced and muscle tone is restored, I can
proceed to the strength training part of physical therapy. The goal is to strengthen the muscles around my neck, shoulders, and spine
to recorrect my posture, better support my upper body, and alleviate pain.
Today I am grateful for a competent physical therapist.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 5, 2007
If you know me at all, you know I love quotes. Here's an assortment with wonderful truths...
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the
affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure
the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in
others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden
patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
"Deception is a cruel act... It often has many players on different stages that
corrode the soul."
"Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark."
"Truth has no fear; Untruth shivers at every shadow."
"I should be committed to an institution immediately for even thinking I could
get away with that..."
"Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to
infuse them with shades of deeper meaning."
"Jealousy is a tiger that tears not only its prey but also its own raging heart."
"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and
what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life
is a long and arduous quest after Truth."
"I don't believe the accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It
makes them siblings. Gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and
brotherhood is a condition people have to work at."
Today I am grateful for the peaceful feeling that comes with freedom.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday July 4, 2007
"We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their ploughs but to
secure liberty for their souls."
Happy Independence Day!
Today I am grateful for our men and women in uniform.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 3, 2007
Time passes quickly and tonight we said our goodbyes to Kelle. Hannah was a little distracted, and I sensed her disappointment
knowing that her time with Kelle had come to an end.
Today I am grateful for vivid imagery.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 2, 2007
It's hard to get a word in with my girls clamouring for Kelle's attention! They are in love with her, and she with them.
I haven't heard this much laughter in my house in a very long time. It's fun to sit back and watch.
Today I am grateful for swallows.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday July 1, 2007
“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
Today I am grateful to have Kelle beside me at Church today.
Thank you God, for another day.
I am happy to report that our Golf Shoe Fund raiser brought in $300! I've reviewed current values on the miniature
shoes signed by the artist, versus these LPGA golfer autographs on other memorabilia, and am very pleased with the outcome.
That amount has now been posted online, and my card to Val Skinner is ready to be mailed. I think she will be as pleased as
we are!
I do not have confirmation on when our remaining donations will be reflected online, but we have come close to $6000 now.
No other team totals have been posted at all, so I'm not quite sure if those will be updated online, or only in the ACS office.
Last night, Frank, Dad, Kelle, the girls and I went down to set up our canopy on the field. As we drove, the rain began to fall in
buckets. I wondered if it would be raining in Richlands as well. We called Dad and Frank, who were in a truck ahead of us, and asked if
we needed to wait and set up the next morning. They were optimistic that the storm would pass quickly. Dad took us all for dinner,
and by the time we were finished, the rain had subsided. Putting up the canopy was a feat in itself, but at last it was securely in
place, should it storm again overnight.
Relay Day had arrived, and it seemed odd that we didn't have to get up at 4:00am and travel in the darkness for an opening ceremony, as
we have in years past. The morning was spent running numbers, and gathering raffle items, etc. Soon it was time to be on our way.
Because the event was twelve hours with the threat of high humidity and heat, I felt pretty certain I would take an afternoon
break. I had asked our Crew members, if they were not going to be able to stay for the entire event, to meet us in the late afternoon
or evening....since that's the most important part of the Relay. I wanted every member to feel no pressure, no stress. We
had raised the money, and it was time to enjoy the day.
My girls were full of energy and excitement as we dressed and they put their very own Relay/Carolynn's Crew shirts on. For
the days leading up to the event, they continually asked how they were doing with fund raising (they had written their own letters
and delivered them). I am proud to say that EACH of them raised $200 each. That's double their original goal. To those of
you who donated so generously, I thank you. They thank you. If you saw their faces when I told them they hit $200 each, you
would truly understand what an impact you have made, not just in donating to a very worthy cause, but also reinforcing the importance
of fund raising and pride in two very young girls. I think that will stay with them forever.
Frank drove the truck down carrying supplies, Kelle, the girls and I gathered in my car, and Mom and Diane were in the third
vehicle. Dad, Connie, Curt and Crystal were coming down later. Vivian had contacted me a couple days earlier, and was called
away due to family illness. I was saddened that she couldn't join us, but understood the urgent need of her situation.
There was a nice breeze when we arrived, and teams were busily setting up their camp sites. We set up our tables, put items
out for sale, raffles together, hung our Crew Banner (Thanks, Mom!!) and set the chairs and coolers in place. The field was
full of activity and soon the Relay began.
We took turns walking with each other, in various combinations, while at least one of us would man the tent. It meant so much
to have Mom with me at an event, for the first time. Before long, she was the one walking the most laps. I'm certain she out walked
me!! Abigail and Hannah didn't want to stop, and it was hard to get them to take a break and rest.
Connie arrived, and I was happy to see her face as I approached our site. As a fellow survivor, she understands. I was honored
that she chose to participate with us. Connie always has a smile, and is a positive influence in all that she does.
As a Pastor, my Dad spends EVERY day doing something for the Church. He was a team member, but I knew that Saturdays were
very busy for him. I didn't want him to feel obligated to be there with us. I also know he loves me....and it wasn't long into the
afternoon that I saw his tall frame walking toward us, wearing his team shirt. Not out of obligation, but out of love. He walked
lap after lap...with my girls, with me, and the rest of the Crew. Dad, Mom and I took a lap together, holding hands. How
wonderful to have my parents experience this---the three of us together.
The afternoon was winding down, and I knew I needed rest. Dad took me home, and I laid on the couch for almost an hour after having a cup
of tea. It was enough for me to relax some and gather a bit more energy. He then picked me up, and we returned to the Relay.
The Crew was still holding their own...and it wasn't long before the evening ceremonies began. New for this year, they added
a breast cancer lap. I saw the banner they had made hanging on the main wall. When we first committed to this event, I asked
if they would consider doing one, and I am happy they obliged.
Connie and I changed into our purple survivor shirts and made our way to the track for the survivors lap. Hannah joined us for this lap...because she is a survivor herself. She took chemo with me.
The three of us held hands...Connie and I spent time talking about our own survival, as well as those we have lost. We also took
a moment to honor Vivian, who could not be with us.
The next lap was the care givers lap, and my family came to the track. I was reminded of how much they had done for me while
I was in treatment. As we walked, I leaned down and kissed my Mom. Our eyes were filled with tears. It took me back to the
day I was diagnosed and I remember standing in the kitchen and telling her I had cancer. In some ways, it seems so long ago.
In other ways, the memories are as clear as if they were yesterday.
Earlier in the evening I was informed that the committee needed to see me, so I made my way to the main tent. To my surprise, they asked me
to carry the banner and lead the Breast Cancer lap. I was both honored and humbled, and Connie and I smiled together as we
started the lap. "I Can Only Imagine" started to play, and I looked at Connie. I could barely utter the words..."perfect song".
As I walked, I heard many familiar words spoken among the ladies behind me-- "chemo", "sickness",
"radiation", "surgery", "herceptin", "a/c", "remission", "recurrence". There was a bond between us all, and we all spoke a common
language, even though our own experiences varied greatly.
I saw Curt and Crystal, and I thought of our children. I have two daughters, and they have two daughters and a son. What will
their lives be in fifteen years? Mine will know the reality of my own experience...will they be sheltered from the disease?
Will Gabby never hear the word cancer as her own diagnosis? I can only pray....
As dusk turned to darkness, the luminaries were lit, one by one. LOVE and HOPE were spelled out in the stadium, and a soft glow
surrounded the track. This was the moment in which there was silence. Complete silence. A lap was walked, and few words were uttered.
We saw the names on the bags...those we honor in survival, and those we mourn in memory and loss.
This was the moment I needed, to still myself. As people began to pack up and other activities resumed, I sat in silence. Alone.
As I write these words, the emotion floods from within. The breeze was gentle and cool. The soft lights of the luminaries brought
a feeling of calm. I thought about the chemo, the days when I couldn't leave the couch. The surgeries. The scans. The victory
in remission and survival. The struggles of living life beyond treatment. I closed my eyes.
Abigail was with my Mom in another area of the field, and I heard Hannah's voice. I asked her to climb on my lap, and she did
so willingly. I whispered to her to lean against me, and we both melted as one into the chair.
"Shhhh, listen Hannah. Close your eyes. Relax on Mommy." I felt her body on mine, perfectly still.
"Take a breath and relax....doesn't it feel good?"
"Yes" she whispered quietly.
In my arms, she was naive but yet she brought me much comfort. She knows the words. "I was in your belly when you had cancer,
wasn't I, Mommy?"
"Yes, baby, you were."
One day, she will understand more.
A few minutes passed and Abigail eagerly joined us. I pulled her onto my lap. She was only two and a half when I was diagnosed.
I am sad that there were times I was not well enough to care for her, but I know she has no memory of it. Now she sits with me--
my nine year old. My "big girl". My first born.
Soon it was time to make our way home...and so we did, tired but happy.
To Frank...you are an amazing man. You add love and security to my life, like no other could.
To Abigail and Hannah...you both are the light of life. So different from each other, yet so much alike. You make me proud.
To Mom...you were there for my girls. You took care of them when I was too sick. You took care of them when I was weak. You cooked for
us, and you did it all alone. I can never thank you enough.
To Dad...I am forever daddy's girl. You are a role model for what a man should be.
To Kelle..."Sisters of the Heart" doesn't come close enough. In all the years I have known you, you have never failed me.
To Diane...thank you for your willingness to run the errands I wasn't up to doing myself, and offering help wherever it was needed.
To Curt & Crystal...you are both the real deal. I am blessed to have our paths cross and look forward to the future. Our
daughters are best friends, and I hope that we are still smiling and watching them together ten years from now.
To Connie...my fellow survivor-- I am truly honored that you joined our team. I don't think I have ever heard you utter
an unkind word. We should all aspire to that.
To Vivian...my other fellow survivor-- I am sorry that you couldn't be there with us. When I think of you, I see the twinkle in
your eyes when you smile. After Connie and I walked the breast cancer lap, I said out loud "I miss you, Vivian, and I love you."
To Penny...my friend, I can count on you. Always. You know what that means to me.
To those that have supported me unwaveringly, I thank you. I thank you for believing in me. I thank you for making a donation.
Yours is the dollar that might be the one needed to fund another study. To find a new treatment. To find a cure.
Until next year...let's see what the future holds for us all.
Today I am grateful for luminaries.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 29, 2007
SPECIAL THANKS to the many of you that have sent encouraging emails and well wishes for our event. It means a lot
to know that we are surrounded by support! We'll carry you with us as we walk...
Today I am grateful for a very special UK friend.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 28, 2007
Kelle arrived this afternoon and our house is filled with laughter and excitement. Nothing could be better.
Today I am grateful for a cool breeze on the deck.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday June 27, 2007
As you know, my girls are walking for the first time with Carolynn's Crew. They are very proud, and excited....and I am thrilled
that they want to be so involved!
They have worked hard to raise money, and have both raised $65 each. (They have no check donations that have not posted) Their
goal is to raise $100 each, and the walk is Saturday. Abigail asks to see her fundraising page every day.
Would you consider making a donation to them, online? NO donation is too small.....and the money you give could save our own
children, our nieces and nephews, or other family members from facing a diagnosis in the future.
Thank you in advance for any help you can provide, and remember your donation is tax deductible.
Today I am grateful for children who value charity work.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday June 26, 2007
"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success."
Today I am grateful for "steve".
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday June 25, 2007
Abigail hasn't had the easiest time with her surgery. The first day, she did well, and eagerly asked for ice cream and popsicles (rare
treats in her normal daily routine). That night she woke often, took sips of water, and went right back to sleep. I was glad,
because at least her throat didn't dry out and hurt her as much. The next three nights she slept all night, but during the day it was
obvious that she was losing strength. By mid afternoon she was crying and weak. I was finally able to get her to eat soft boiled eggs,
and some macaroni and cheese, along with one bottle of Pediasure each day for nutritional value.
Saturday night she was up twice with her throat hurting, and last night three times. I think emotionally she is just growing weary
of the whole process as well. At times she can't really articulate why she is upset.
This afternoon she had her follow-up appointment, and he said she is doing pretty well. He also informed me that day five is
usually the worst for them--and that made me feel better about what we were experiencing at home. One side has scabbed and dropped, but the other
side isn't quite healed yet. He decided to put her on three more days restriction, meaning no real activity, and try to work on
slowly adding more foods to her diet.
For her sake, I'll be glad when she is herself again. It's time for her to start enjoying her school break.
Today I am grateful for an ENT that I really like.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday June 24, 2007
Six years ago today, I was pregnant with breast cancer. Six years ago today, I had taken chemo while I was pregnant and had more to
go. Six years ago today, a miracle was born. Her name was Hannah Elizabeth Stephanie Johnson. The addition of a second
middle name, Stephanie, honored my wonderful oncologist--- "my" Dr. Stefanini.
Today, Hannah celebrated her sixth birthday.
Happy Birthday, baby. One day you will fully understand the miracle of your birth.
Today I am grateful for the simple life, and peaceful dreams.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday June 23, 2007
We are one week away from the Relay! Time has flown by!!
FYI to some of our donors: I spoke with the local office to verify, and if you wrote a check to the ACS,
it HAS been deposited, even though check donations are not showing up online. (If you notice, most other teams actually
show a zero total, even though they have money turned in) This office does not put high priority on reflecting the total
donations online, but all accounting is current in their office and checks are deposited as they are received.
For those of you that are local, I hope to see you next week! As you know, this is our first year doing this particular event.
We're learning as we go, and found out that we can do some great fundraising the day of the event as well.
Stop by the Carolynn's Crew tent and say hi...we'll have fund raising items for sale and raffle, from t-shirts to jewelry
and signed collectibles! I've been doing most of my fundraising online, so being able to do this locally, and face to
face, is very exciting!!
Today I am grateful for easy friendships.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 22, 2007
"Bearing ill will against another is like taking poison, and wishing for the other person to die. In the end,
it damages only you."
Today I am grateful for checking out of the rat race.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 21, 2007
“Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.”
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!
Today I am grateful for a casual party on the back deck.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday June 20, 2007
"In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most
difficult way is, in the long run, the easiest."
Today I am grateful for smiles and ice cream.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday June 19, 2007
It was a long day today. We had to be at the hospital at nine, which also meant she was the last surgery, on a heavily booked
"tonsil" day. Frank, Hannah, Golday and Poppy were all with us. She stayed upstairs until almost 11:30. After two and a half hours of
just sitting, we were all getting a little weary. Hannah gives Abigail a smile with Daddy and Mommy plus a kiss
Abigail was given a dose of versed and we went downstairs to the holding area at last. Only one person was able to be with her,
and that was where I wanted to be. They weren't putting in the IV until after she was asleep, so there would be no anxiety.
I expected her to show some signs of nervousness as the time approached, but she didn't. We held hands and Abigail chatted nonstop.
She had carried her new dog, who she named Tommy, with her the entire time. still smiling nose to nose with Tommy
We weren't there long when we heard a familiar voice. It was my beloved Dr. Stefanini. He had come to find Abigail and make sure
everything was going well. He also had an orange for her to eat in a few days. It's her favorite fruit. And he knew it.
Within thirty minutes, she was wheeled into the OR and I went to the waiting room. I promised her I'd be there when she woke up.
In less than an hour, the doctor called my name and informed us that she had done very well. I was allowed to go into recovery
with her, so I could be there when she first opened her eyes. Other than a little whining as she came out of the anesthesia, she did well.
As time passed, she became a bit more alert and asked if it was over, and if she could go back to her room.
After the standard one hour in recovery, she was taken to her room, where Frank, Hannah, Golday and Poppy were able to see
her. In less than thirty minutes she was drinking sprite and asking for a popsicle. cartoons and sprite
Her doctor required a four hour stay after surgery, and we were released around 5:30pm. Just before her release, Dr. Stefanini
stopped back by to make sure she was okay. I love this man, and am so grateful that he is still an important part of my life. welcome home surprise flowers from Uncle Michael
Today I am grateful for anxiety-free surgery.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday June 18, 2007
“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.”
Today I am grateful for ceiling fans.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday June 17, 2007
Abigail has had her surgery scheduled for over a month now. She hasn't said much, except talking about a week worth of unlimited
ice cream. She has even been quite excited about the whole process. I wondered when it would become real to her, and now it has.
Yesterday she asked how they take tonsils out. She thought maybe they might cut her neck. Today she asked how long it takes, and what would
happen if her throat really hurt. I've been casual but honest with her. I knew that the nerves would come...it's only natural.
Please pray that Abigail will feel a sense of calm, and have an uneventful surgery on Tuesday.
Today I am grateful for the ability to laugh.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday June 16, 2007
The Relay is two weeks away! It's been three months since we chose this event, and now it's almost here. We are very
close to our $5,000 goal. (The Team page may not be updated until the event itself, to reflect accurate totals)
If you have not made a donation, would you consider doing so? Every dollar counts, and no donation is ever "not enough".
You can donate online here.
Cancer is a horrible disease. We have NO cure. Donations help save lives. Your donation could end up saving your own life, or that of
someone you love.
Today I am grateful for snapdragons.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 15, 2007
"Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things
that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever."
Today I am grateful for a fuchsia water lily.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 14, 2007
"Be assured that just as an hour is only part of a day, so life on Earth is only part of eternity."
We already miss you, Betty.
Today I am grateful for the sound of rolling thunder.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday June 13, 2007
My appointment yesterday resulted in an order for physical therapy. Much unlike the last time, this one is not for specific
exercise (which ended up injuring me), but rather ultrasound and deep massage therapy. He believes I have myofasciitis, and
therapy would be done on the levator scapulae
and rhomboid major area. I will go three times a week, for four weeks, to see if
the inflammation can be reduced. This is the first course of action to relieve the neck and back pain.
(This will not address the loss of feeling issues) I do not have full movement currently, and hopefully this will help.
I'm looking forward to getting started. He did also order phonophoresis (ultrasound medical therapy) for my elbow, but I have
to consult with the surgeon on Monday before I proceed. I'm not certain it will benefit me.
Physical therapy will start on Monday the 25th. I did not want to obligate myself to anything next week, because Abigail
has her tonsils and adenoids removed on Tuesday. I want to be available to her 24/7 that entire week.
Today I am grateful for peace in unexpected places.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday June 12, 2007
I had the appointment with my new rheumatologist today. Rather than go into those details now, I'd like to focus on what I
experienced this evening.
The temperature had cooled and I was standing in the front yard. I was tired and decided to just lay on my side, alone, in the grass.
The breeze touched my skin and I felt the rain drops start to fall. The drops were large, but scarce. I watched goldfinches
play with each other and sit on the feeder. Nearby, a hummingbird darted in my lilies.
There was only the sound of nature and nothing more.
Seven minutes of perfection.
Seven minutes of pure bliss.
Today I am grateful for rest.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday June 11, 2007
"I find that it is not the circumstances in which we are placed, but the spirit in which we face them, that constitutes our comfort."
Today I am grateful for hummingbirds.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Hannah was home from school today, so she went with me to run some errands.
While we were in a clothing store, she hinted that she needed to go to the rest room--
Hannah: "There's my favorite sign."
Me: "What one?"
Hannah: "Rest Room!"
Me: "Oh, is it?"
Hannah: "Yeah. And I see yours, too."
Me: (having no idea what she meant) "You do? What's my favorite?"
Hannah: "Clearance!"
Sunday June 10, 2007
The girls softball and coed t-ball season has come to a close. This was Abigails fifth year-- two years in t-ball and
three in girls softball. Hannah just completed her second year in t-ball.
Abigail had her year end party (Hannah's is next week):
After eating and playing, including water games, Abigail, Coach Alice, and the trophy.
Proud player, wet and happy.
Someone decided to autograph the shirts.
Official team pic.
Today I am grateful for unexpected passion fruit.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday June 9, 2007
I guess everyone really does need a superhero (see Thursday's original entry)....
I found this stuck inside my washer.
I think I'll leave it there.
Today I am grateful for a daughter who left a sticker in her pocket.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 8, 2007
MY WISH
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
Today I am grateful for awards day at school and proud smiles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 7, 2007
The Crew is excited and ready to go. Kelle will be down in three weeks, and I'm looking forward to us all being together.
Our fund raising has gone well, considering we were only working on a three month time line this year. Unfortunately, most of
our donations have not been posted online yet, due to some unavoidable issues with the local office. Hopefully, that will
be corrected soon.
If you mailed a donation direct to the ACS office, and have not received a proper thank you from me or another Crew member,
I apologize. Currently we have not been given the names of any of those donors. It grieves me to know that there are donors
who haven't been acknowledged properly. I continue to be in direct contact with the office, and as soon as we can get the information
we will respond in writing to show our sincere gratitude for your contribution. This happens to be out of my control at the
moment.
Monday's cultures came back, and I am still fighting another bacteria. I will continue the meds I started on Monday evening (from the previous
weeks testing), and have another series of tests a few days after this treatment is complete. I will continue to be treated and tested until
I get a test to come back clear. I've spent the better part of the last few months on various antibiotics.
Today I am grateful for surprising a little girl at school for lunch.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday June 6, 2007
“If you watch how nature deals with adversity, continually renewing itself, you can't help but learn.”
I walked around outside today, to see how much damage was done by last evening's hail storm. Surprisingly, most of the potted
plants were standing upright and tall again. I noticed the hibiscus had many stems broken in half. I removed them, only to
reveal plenty of healthy growth remaining.
We were having a good year--- earlier in the spring, as Frank cleaned the ponds and started the pumps, filters, and other
equipment for the season, we discovered we had a fish born in our pond. We have a variety of fish including koi, and this is our
first baby. The fish have done so well, easily tripling in size.
In the four years we've had the ponds, we have not had a frog come to live with us. Last week, I heard one calling out.
Today, I heard him singing loudly.
I walked closer, and noticed that the lily pads were sliced repeatedly by the hail, and loose shreds were floating everywhere.
As I started sifting through the debris, I saw our frog.
Our first frog.
For the first time.
I went back inside to get my camera, and as I approached, he jumped into the water. I decided to continue removing the
damaged lily pads and pinch off a few spent blooms. As I moved my hand through the water, I saw his head
peeking through another plant. I moved closer and he remained in place, even as I reached toward him. To my surprise, I moved
the plant a bit and found this!
Today I am grateful for nature's surprises.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday June 5, 2007
"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may only be the beginning."
It was a cool day today, and by this evening it was apparent that we were going to get more rain. Along with thunder
and lightening, the electricity went off briefly. Within minutes, the rain fell harder and then we heard the sound of hail.
This is what I saw as I quickly opened the back door.
The ice piled up quickly.
My back deck, and some of the pots. (yes, all that white stuff is ice)
As I watched the back deck, my summer outdoor escape, I hoped the plants would bounce back, because the sight of them being
pummeled with ice was very saddening to me.
Today I am grateful for safe shelter.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday June 4, 2007
Today I had another bone density test, to monitor the progress of my osteoporosis. I also had extensive blood work,
and other tests, to see if there is an explanation for the repeated infections. Some of the results were back by this afternoon.
My blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, hemoglobin, and glucose readings are all fine. The RBC count is low, but it always has been,
post chemo. Other test results will be back tomorrow and over the next two weeks. Because I still have a large white blister
that hasn't decreased in size since last Wednesday, a repeat strep swab was done. This time it will be an overnight test,
rather than the quick test that was completed last week and returned negative. He has recommended a repeat IVP to check for
kidney stones. A lodged stone could cause repeated infection, although not a full explanation of infection throughout my body.
I had this test two years ago. At that time I had crystals and the possibility of forming stones in the future. (I remember
this test--it was two days before Mom-maw passed away)
After I got home, there was a call from my other doctor with culture results from last week. It seems that the bacteria has
decreased, but not enough to say I no longer carry infection. I have been off antibiotics for ten days, but today I had to
start them again, but a different medication. I agree with him on this decision. If I leave the bacteria level as it is, it will surely grow to a
significant infection again.
What I'd rather focus on is the beauty continuing to unfold around my house.
The lilies (outside the pond) are now starting to bloom, this beauty, in white
Today I am grateful for much needed rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday June 3, 2007
The girls have finished another year with Master Clubs. I can remember, just after Abigail was born, telling Frank that one day
she would be in our class. Nine years later, she has now completed three years in our class, and moves up to another group
next week. At the same time, Hannah graduates to our class and we will now have her for three years.
Abigail, proud of her badges
and more, on the back
Hannah, two year vest, now complete
Today I am grateful for children who love to learn.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday June 2, 2007
"It doesn't matter how strong your opinions are. If you don't use your power for positive change, you are,
indeed, part of the problem."
Today I am grateful for clouds on a long game day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 1, 2007
"Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken."
One of the most peaceful things I can do is walk through my yard, and enjoy nature's beauty.
Another water lily bloomed, this time in pink
Today I am grateful for a safe place.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday May 31, 2007
"And thou shalt in thy daughter see,
This picture, once, resembled thee."
Happy Ninth Birthday, Abigail! I can't believe you are growing up so fast...
"All the way to the moon and back, that's how much I love my girl!"
Yearly photo, Abigail's Lilac:
Planted when she was four years old, wow has she grown
Loving this pose
Today I am grateful for the excitement in Abigail's eyes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday May 30, 2007
My gratitude today goes beyond a one line entry. Today, I'm thankful for a viral infection. How can I say that? Because I
woke with blisters in my throat, and thought I had strep again. I'm trying to rid myself of the other bacteria in my
body, so having strep would be a set back for me. I went to the doctor and the throat culture was negative for strep, but
I do have a virus.
It's all a matter of perspective, really. I walked out of the office feeling light...and thankful for a virus.
Today I am grateful for wind, sharing, laughter, and a few tears.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday May 29, 2007
"In my garden there is a large place for sentiment. My garden of flowers is also my garden of thoughts and dreams. The thoughts grow as
freely as the flowers, and the dreams are as beautiful."
Today I am grateful for thunder.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday May 28, 2007
“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”
In memory....
Today I am grateful for the night bird songs I hear as I type.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday May 27, 2007
"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."
Today I am grateful for the back deck.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday May 26, 2007 It's All Abigail: After a beautiful day, a light rain began to fall in the evening.
Abigail was in the yard playing, and I was sitting on the back deck. Soon it became more steady, and I told her it was time
to come inside.
Abigail: "But Mommy, I'm dancing in the rain!"
Me: (laughing) "In that case, stay out and enjoy it, ok?"
Abigail, dancing in the rain
Hannah decided to join in the fun, and here they are when they finally
came inside.
Today I am grateful for the joy of dancing in the rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday May 25, 2007
"I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in."
Today I am grateful for the joy of nature.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday May 24, 2007
When God created fathers,
He made them proud and wise...
He put the light of truth
and understanding in their eyes.
He gave them sturdy arms
for lifting children in the air
and knees that weren't afraid to bend
in work or play or prayer.
He planned them with a passion
for the role of fatherhood...
And when the Lord had finished,
He was sure that it was good!
Happy Birthday, Dad! I love you!!
Today I am grateful for my Dad's 65th birthday.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday May 23, 2007
"If we wait for the moment when everything is ready, we shall never begin."
Today I am grateful for calming peace found even when alone in the Church.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday May 22, 2007
The test results are back and I have three different bacteria in my system. Since I am on a new round of antibiotics, I'll
continue them, wait ten days, then go for another repeat culture. This time I will also receive a full panel blood workup
in case there is something else that needs to be addressed. I hope to be clear by then, and if not, we have to find a new plan
to make sure the infection is completely removed from my body. That goal is priority one for me at this point.
Today I am grateful for quiet moments on the back deck.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday May 21, 2007
Your companionship is my delight...
Your laughter is my joy...
Your dreams are my goals...
Your encouragement is my strength...
Happy Anniversary, baby. I love you.
Today I am grateful for eleven years of marriage.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for nature's color.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday May 19, 2007
“Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses... on your
powers, instead of your problems.”
I realize I did not post an update on physical therapy and home exercise. I have been unable to complete any of the exercise
program. The day following the therapy, I lost even more use of my arm, and by Saturday evening I could lift nothing at all.
The few repetitions at the office on Friday did more damage than anything else. It took until Monday morning to regain
reasonable use of my left arm. The numbness continues, but the least amount of weight or resistance causes complete loss
of use.
I have another appointment scheduled, to re-evaluate the elbow surgery. There is a possibility that although there is a larger
problem coming from the neck or TOS, the ulnar nerve relocation could possibly alleviate some of the pain. At this point,
since it is not a difficult procedure, I would be willing to have it done, even with the chance that it may not help at all.
I don't have much to lose-- as long as we get firm information on how the surgery would be complicated by my lymph node removal.
It does seem that my health has failed rapidly over the past few months. I am determined to push forward. It is
truly a tight rope walk---to find the balance of not doing too much, but not becoming sedentary. Either of those extremes
serve me poorly. I will not question why, but rather wake each day believing it will be better than the day before.
Today I am grateful for the feeling of my father's arms around me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday May 18, 2007
I had to make a return trip to the doctor, to repeat tests and make sure all infection was cleared up from my ER visit a
few weeks ago. To my surprise, I still have one infection remaining, and it seems to be a powerful one. I won't get culture
results until Monday or Tuesday, and am back on antibiotics yet again.
Today I am grateful for a cozy sweatshirt on a surprisingly cool day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday May 17, 2007
"Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer
in achievement and experience."
Today I am grateful for thunderstorms.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday May 16, 2007
WELCOME TWO MORE MEMBERS TO CAROLYNN'S CREW!
I am happy to announce that Connie McGuire and Vivian Blankenship have joined our crew! Both of these ladies are fellow
cancer survivors, long term friends and members of my Church. They are also multiple year participants in the RFL.
We are all excited to have them be part of our team!!
Today I am grateful for team spirit.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday May 15, 2007
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
Today I am grateful for waves crashing against rocks.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday May 14, 2007
The flower beds are continuing to come to life. As many as 10-12 yellow finches are on the feeder at any given time.
We now have our first baby fish actually born in our pond, and he is growing quickly, among the other seven fish we have had for a
few years. I love this time of year, and enjoy spending time outside. My deck and porch become like additional rooms for us.
The lawn decor is all out now, and it's time to pick up the annuals for the container plantings.
And don't forget...Your clicks give more in May! The Breast Cancer Site is honoring moms throughout the month of May! Every click on the "Fund Free
Mammograms" button (scroll above) is worth double the usual funding to help working poor, homeless, and uninsured women receive the breast
cancer screening they need through the work of the National Breast Cancer Foundation.
Today I am grateful for confirmed appointments.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS: Please get your mammograms!!!
Fewer women are getting mammograms!
U.S. women are getting mammograms to screen for breast cancer at declining rates, according to a study describing a trend
that experts fear may portend a reversal of progress against the deadly disease.
The percentage of women 40 and older saying they had a mammogram within the past two years slipped from 70 percent in 2000
to 66 percent in 2005, according to the study appearing on Monday in the journal Cancer.
This upends big increases since the 1980s. The mammography rate for women past the age of 40 was only 39 percent in 1987.
Researchers led by Dr. Nancy Breen of the National Cancer Institute said the findings followed previous indications from various
parts of the country that the popularity of mammograms was ebbing.
"It's quite an unusual and disconcerting finding," Breen said in a telephone interview. "It comes as a surprise because there's
no reason you'd think there'd be a drop in mammography."
But other experts point to a number of possible reasons, including insurance issues and recent doubts cast on the benefits of
mammograms -- breast X-rays that women notoriously dislike because of the discomfort involved.
Most studies show that widespread use of mammograms have made early detection of breast cancer more common and reduced death
rates from the disease.
Mammograms are used to screen healthy women for signs of breast cancer and are considered a crucial tool to detect the disease
at its earliest stages when it is most treatable.
The study found declines among groups who traditionally have used mammography at high rates, including higher-income and
better-educated women, those in ages 50 to 64 and non-Hispanic whites.
The findings were based on a scientific survey of about 10,000 U.S. women 40 and older by the Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention, Breen said. Mammography rates stagnated between 2000 to 2003 and then dropped in 2005, she said.
Robert Smith, the American Cancer Society's director of cancer screening, said the trend could lead to more breast cancer
deaths.
"A decline in mammography utilization is going to result in a higher rate of cancers diagnosed at an advanced stage," he said
in a telephone interview. "And that will mean more aggressive treatment, and in some instances it may mean that women who
would have survived if their cancer had been found earlier will not survive."
The society recommends annual mammograms for all women starting at age 40. The National Cancer Institute recommends them for
these women every one to two years. Experts also recommend mammograms for younger women with symptoms of breast cancer or
who are at high risk for it.
The researchers said the drop in mammography rates may be caused by a number of factors, including an increase in the number
of women without health insurance and less emphasis on mammography in health-promotion campaigns.
Other potential factors they cited were a 2002 controversy that may have undermined some women's confidence in mammograms
after experts including Donald Berry of the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas, questioned their value, and less
vigilance toward breast cancer because of the dropping death rates.
Breast cancer is the second-leading cause of cancer death in women behind only lung cancer. In the United States, breast
cancer will be diagnosed in an estimated 178,000 women this year and about 40,000 will die from it.
"The looming questions are whether the decline in mammography will continue and how it will affect mortality rates from
breast cancer," the researchers wrote.
Sunday May 13, 2007
“The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him with comfort and anticipates his wants, but when she resolutely holds him to
the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his best.”
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
We made the decision that I would not work outside the home when we had children. There were sacrifices to be made, but
I have never believed it was anything other then the best decision. Because there are so few stay at home moms now (some
work by necessity, others by choice), the students are often asked "What does your Mommy do?"
Here's a great example of how a child with a stay at home Mom might answer: from Hannah
It's All Abigail: Abigail presented me with coupons I can redeem, including chores, relaxation and foot rubs.
She said for me to look close, because they had expiration dates. Lucky for me, they don't expire until 2028!
Today I am grateful for keepsake gifts I will treasure forever.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday May 12, 2007
"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens,
nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst
the simple beauty of nature."
Today I am grateful for working on my outdoor landscaping.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday May 11, 2007
I went to physical therapy today and have an exercise plan for my arm and shoulder area. I knew my strength had diminished
considerably over the past few months, and today definitely confirmed it. I did not complete the entire workout at the hospital,
but only a couple repetitions of each exercise, and my muscles are sore.
Today I am grateful for those eyes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday May 10, 2007
"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's
going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."
Today I am grateful for the sounds outside my window.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday May 9, 2007 Hannah-ism: Sometimes it's just hard to remember the right way to say it...
Hannah: (to Poppy, who was leaving) "See ya tomorrow, alligator!!"
Abigail: "Hannah, it's 'see ya LATER, alligator' "
Today I am grateful for first year alliums.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday May 8, 2007
"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you."
Today I am grateful for little yellow finches.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday May 7, 2007
I had an early appointment with Dr. Ward at Ortho-Carolina in Charlotte. I hand carried all of my test results, and was fairly
certain that I would leave with a surgery date to relocate the ulnar nerve at my elbow and within a month I'd be rid of the
problems in my arm. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. After a review of my results and subsequent manual testing, he was
concerned that I may have thoracic outlet syndrome,
which involves the nerve between my collar bone and first rib. To confirm, he ordered a neck xray. Within minutes it was read and thoracic outlet syndrome did seem likely
to be the cause. If he relocates the ulnar nerve, he does not believe it will relieve the symptoms I am having. Surgery, in
the area the where the problem may be located, is not an option for me.
Regarding thoracic outlet syndrome, one cause is from congenital anomalies (unusual anatomic features present at birth). I
find this interesting, because in the same location on the other side of my body is where my port-a-cath was placed for chemo.
During that surgery, the procedure took twice as long as normal. Because I only had local anesthesia for the operation (I
was pregnant), I was aware of everything happening in the ER. The surgeon had great difficulty putting the port-a-cath in my
body and repeatedly asked me if I had injured myself or ever broken my collar bone. I assured him I had not. I was just
minutes away from them making a decision that he couldn't place it properly and we would have to abandon the process, when
he finally got it in place. Afterwards, he commented that I "had a very difficult anatomy." As many of you may know, about a
year and a half later I had to have the port removed, because it wouldn't flush properly. When it was taken out, it was discovered
that part of the catheter had broken and was found by x-ray to be in my heart. I had to make an emergency trip to a heart
facility to have it removed. Apparently the movement of my arm had, over time, cut the catheter.
After I am manipulated, the pain and/or numbness and tingling settles differently as time passes, which I explained to him
during the visit. After speaking with him again about 45 minutes after the exam, he thinks it could also be a cervical issue,
and not prepared to make a firm diagnosis at this point.
His first course of action was behavior modification, but I had been doing everything he suggested for six years already,
to avoid lymphedema from my first mastectomy and lymph node removal. The only thing I have changed since my neurologist visit
was to be more "aware" of my elbow, and make sure I didn't place it on an arm rest or anything that would cause further compression.
I now have to see a physical or occupational therapist for one visit to be shown some "at home" exercises. I'll try those
for six weeks, then return to see him for follow up. Because I have conditions that overlap symptoms, some of this will have to
be trial and error. In the end, if it stems solely from the neuropathy, there really is nothing that can be done to treat the
condition. I won't jump to any conclusions, but continue to take this process one step at a time. I'm just traveling down
a different path than I anticipated, and the condition is more difficult than originally thought.
It was a long drive home after the appointment, but the smiles from my girls made every minute worth it.
Today I am grateful for home, sweet home.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday May 6, 2007
At last a sunny day! The wind was a bit chilly but the temperature was milder than the last two days. By now I am really
enjoying the freedom of waking up and not running through the normal "to do list" in my mind.
I'm always made to feel very special when I visit, and am very appreciative of that kindness. A tea cup always awaits...
Today I am grateful for Tristan.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday May 5, 2007
We spent the night at the lake house, and it was wonderful to wake up and see the water from the bedroom window.
With no pressures or obligations, it was a relaxing day.
Today I am grateful for a cozy bed.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday May 4, 2007
After the girls left for school this morning, I drove to Charlotte to spend a couple of days with my brother,
and then stay over for the Monday appointment with the surgeon.
It was great to see Michael again, and we spent some time boutique shopping and just hanging out together in the
evening. It rained throughout the day, and the weather was unsasonable chilly.
Today I am grateful for catch-up time.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for content purring.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday May 2, 2007 Hannah-ism: Hannah still has her "lovebird" on her mind.
Hannah: "We learned a fact today in school, Mommy."
Me: "Oh yeah, what was it?"
Hannah: "When you hear frogs croaking loudly at night, it means they are trying to find a boyfriend or girlfriend."
Me: "That's cool, isn't it?"
Hannah: "Yeah, just like me and Andrew!"
Today I am grateful for an evening thunderstorm.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday May 1, 2007
"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments, but let us have patience and we soon
shall see them in their proper figures."
Today I am grateful for a new hibiscus.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 30, 2007
Abigail was referred to an ENT physician/surgeon. He said she definitely needs to have her tonsils and adenoids removed.
She would have had them done within the next two weeks, but the school will be conducting SOL testing during the
week she would be absent. It has now been rescheduled for June 14, two days after school is out.
Although she knows the surgery details, she actually shows no apprehension to having this done, and is eager for her week of
unlimited ice cream that I have agreed to give her. I'm sure as time gets closer, she'll become a little nervous--which is to
be expected. On a positive note, she will not have to spend the night at the hospital.
Today I am grateful for fresh cut grass.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday April 29, 2007
"It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him."
ACTION ALERT: Save the Stamp!
The Breast Cancer Research Stamp has raised more than $53 million for breast cancer research since it was introduced in
1998. Now Congress has a choice: reauthorize the stamp, make it permanent, or let it disappear. Tell Congress to Support the Stamp <--click here
Today I am grateful for new faces.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday April 28, 2007
"True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment."
Today I am grateful for lilies.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Hannah has had a "boyfriend" for the entire school year.
Hannah: "Mommy, I told Andrew that I was starting to love him."
Me: "Did you? When was this?"
Hannah: "Well, at the beginning of kindergarten, when I was starting to not be shy anymore. I liked him then I started to love
him."
Me: "What did he say?"
Hannah: "We were sitting on the rug together and he said 'Oh!' and then I asked if he loved me too."
Me: "Really? What was his answer?"
Hannah: "He said 'Yes'. And since last week, now we are love birds!"
Friday April 27, 2007
"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers,
our actions run as causes and return to us as results."
Today I am grateful for the sound of a familiar voice on the telephone.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday April 26, 2007
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."
I made my return visit to the neurologist on Tuesday, to review my test results. Three MRIs and the nerve conduction studies
were compared to my bone scan. It's not the best news, but I am well aware that there could be much worse scenarios.
It is what it is and I'm okay with that.
The results:
The brachial plexus MRI is normal.
I have a bulging disk in my cervical spine (C5-C6).
The spine is deteriorating, but currently there is no pressure on the nerves in the spine (and that part is good news).
I do have arthritis in all of the joints in my body, from the neck and shoulders to the feet.
As reported before, I have neuropathy.
Neuropathy is usually treated by addressing the cause of the problem. Since the cause of my neuropathy is chemotherapy,
there is nothing I can do. It should NOT get any worse unless I would need to undergo further treatments, which I do not anticipate.
These are issues that I will simply accept and adjust. I have learned some of what causes the neuropathy to bother me at more
times than others, and to make adjustments to how I sit and stand, how long I sit and stand, drive, etc. The numbness will
be ongoing, at times minimal, and times more of a hindrance. The arthritis can be managed with pain medication and/or muscle
relaxers. Although it has manifested itself throughout my body, I cannot say the pain is intolerable. Nor is it consistent,
but rather cyclical.
The most critical issue currently is the ulnar nerve compression. The brace did not help, nor did he really expect that it would.
It was merely to protect my elbow until all test results were back. As it stands now, the situation is severe. Surgery is really no longer
an option, but a requirement. If I delay, there is a good chance I will lose all feeling in my left hand. In addition to the numbness
and pain in my left arm, I am having difficulty writing and controlling my fingers. At it's worst, some of my writing is almost
illegible. I have to consciously focus on each letter's formation. The nerve relocation surgery would ideally eliminate the problems in
their entirety. I have a surgeon's consultation on May 7th, at Ortho-Carolina in Charlotte. This facility treats the Carolina Panthers,
so I feel confident in their abilities and current technologies.
Today I am grateful for rain cancellations.
Thank you God, for another day.
ADVOCACY/RESEARCH NEWS:
The American Cancer Society is looking for half a million volunteers willing to let researchers watch them for the next 20
years to see whether they get cancer.
The aim is to match similar big studies in Europe and Asia that are looking on a large scale for the environmental and
lifestyle factors that cause cancer, the second-leading cause of death in the United States after heart disease.
"This type of study involves hundreds of thousands of people, with diverse backgrounds, followed for many years, with collection
of biological specimens and assessments of dietary, lifestyle and environmental exposures," Eugenia Calle, managing director
of analytic epidemiology at the American Cancer Society, said in a statement.
"It also requires active follow-up to discover if and when study participants develop cancer."
The group will recruit men and women between the ages of 30 and 65 in whom cancer has never been diagnosed. They will give
blood to be tested and answer questionnaires at various times over the next 20 years.
Similar big studies have confirmed the link between cigarette smoking and lung cancer, shown that obesity increases the risk
of several cancers, and linked aspirin use to a lower death rate from colon cancer.
They have also found evidence that defied conventional wisdom, such as the Women's Health Initiative study that found hormone
replacement therapy actually raises the risk of breast cancer, stroke and heart attack.
Wednesday April 25, 2007
Every 30 seconds a child in South Africa is orphaned by AIDS.
Every 30 seconds a child in Africa dies of malaria.
Stop. Think. Care. And Give.
Today I am grateful for advocacy and action.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday April 24, 2007
"Good work done little by little becomes great work. Your house of success will be built brick by brick."
Today I am grateful for supportive parents.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 23, 2007
THIRD ANNUAL QUILT FOR THE CURE!
We need your help~
Penny is coordinating our annual quilt project, as she does each year. We are looking for volunteers:
People willing to purchase small amounts of fabric
People willing to purchase small amounts of fabric and cut into pieces
Someone with basic sewing skills, no quilting experience necessary
Donation of money for supplies (one to two donors only)
Penny will give very specific directions. If you have no experience at all, this is still a project you can be participate
in and help raise funds for cancer research and awareness. The cost and effort will be minimal.
If you would like to participate, please email
penny@pinkribbonmiracle.com.
Today I am grateful for cherry blossoms.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday April 22, 2007
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves.
We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."
Today I am grateful for a little pirate t-ball player.
Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: Abigail was talking about seeing pictures of me when I was her age and that we looked alike.
Me: (for fun and curious how she would respond) "If you grew up and looked just like me, would that be good or bad?"
Abigail: "Both I guess."
Me: "Both!?! Why?"
Abigail: "Well, good that we look alike."
Me: "And why bad?"
Abigail: "Because you're OLD!!!!"
Saturday April 21, 2007
The girls show their support.
Mom-maw's vine has been in my house since she passed away two years ago. This appeared Monday,
and this bloomed yesterday.
Thanks, Mom-maw. The Vol's fan became a Hokie, too.
Today I am grateful for sunshine and growth.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday April 20, 2007
At noon, a moment of silence...today we are all Hokies.
A day and night of emotion. click here
Today I am grateful for unity.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday April 19, 2007
Governor Kaine announces a statewide day of mourning for tomorrow. click here
"Hokie Hope" encourages wearing of orange/maroon tomorrow. Our local schools are participating, and the community
is still feeling the sadness and shock of this horrific event.
Today I am grateful for a little girl smiling with Poppy, wearing a Hokies hat.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday April 18, 2007
"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."
Apparently it's not time for the drought yet. Today, Frank tested positive for strep as well. My Dad took Hannah to her
pediatrician and she has now developed bronchitis. She will be taking one of the antibiotics I am taking (in a lower dose of course).
Hopefully, this will also keep her immune from catching strep in our house. In addition, she has impetigo, and we have
a prescription creme to use for that. She will continue on the cough/congestion/antihistamine she has been on for over a week.
I can only hope that, for once, Abigail will remain healthy. We had an appointment tomorrow to consult with an ENT about tonsil removal,
but I can't take her now. I hope to reschedule for next week.
Today I am grateful for song dedications.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday April 17, 2007
Little did I know when I awoke this morning that I would end up in the emergency room tonight, from 9pm-2am.
I had just recovered from another round of strep. As the day wore on, my throat was hurting more and more. By evening,
I had major body aches and an uncontrollable shiver. Layered in clothes, I could not get warm. After an hour and a half of
chilling, we decided it best to go to the ER rather than wait til morning. The symptoms were too sudden and intense to
chance it.
At the least, I have two infections in my body, including a positive test for strep. I also had blood work, a CT of my head,
and a chest xray. Various tests were done, including one for meningitis. I was given one antibiotic by IV for an hour, and another by IV for about twenty minutes. That should jump
start the healing process. My CT and chest x-rays look fine, and will be confirmed tomorrow.
According to the doctor, I did show signs that one infection had moved to the blood. On a trip to the restroom, I saw myself
in the mirror. My face was very flushed and my eyes were blood red. That was a very sudden reminder of what happened two
years ago and I was hospitalized for four days. Tonight's doctor seemed more aggressive (and also at my preferred hospital- Clinch
Valley Medical Center), and I don't expect to find myself in that position again. I do have to call him Thursday afternoon
for the blood culture results as well as a couple other tests results.
I now have no choice but to take TWO antibiotics, simultaneously, to fight the infection. My prayer is that my stomach can tolerate
them for ten days. Otherwise I would require IV doses.
Hannah has been on meds since last Wednesday for cough/congestion. Two days later, she had a red textured rash on her torso,
which the doctor thought was viral. By yesterday, that rash was gone. Unfortunately, this morning she awoke with blister-like
breakouts around her mouth and one on her stomach. By evening, more places had appeared, so she will be returning to the
pediatrician tomorrow.
To top it all off, Silver (my oldest cat) had to have his teeth cleaned today. Since it required anesthesia, he was at the vet
from 8:30am until 4:15pm. He is still very drugged and must take an antibiotic for seven days.
You know that saying--"When it rains, it pours". Right now, I wouldn't mind a bit of a drought.
Today I am grateful for a competent ER physician.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 16, 2007
This morning, a student went to school and never came home.
A son.
A daughter.
A brother.
A sister.
Thirty-two of them.
Today I am grateful for a surprise cozy evening inside.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday April 14, 2007
"The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow."
I have never really understood people who try to fight the natural process of aging. I understand that it also forces us to
face our own mortality. If given a choice, I wouldn't go back to age twenty again. Nor thirty. Even with compromised
health, I am happy to be in my forties. I accept aging, freely. Aren't the wrinkles and creases actually life lines? Life experiences?
Character? Shaped by the many events in our life that makes us who we are today?
So, here I am...with crow's feet
that I accept happily.
Today I am grateful for forty three years of life. How many people don't get to make it that far?
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday April 13, 2007
"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough."
The tulips, last week covered in snow, did not give up... tulip determination
Today I am grateful for a refreshing walk outside.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday April 12, 2007
"If there must be trouble let it be in my day, that my child may have peace."
Today I am grateful for discovering common values.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday April 11, 2007
For your convenience, online donations are now available! Click here.
We will continue to build the team and individual pages this week.
Today I am grateful for sharing a cup of tea.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday April 10, 2007
Crew Update: We are continuing to organize local event fund raising. I received confirmation today that we will have a booth at
Tazewell's Annual Heritage Festival in July. Since this event takes place after this year's Relay For Life, proceeds will benefit
our 2008 event. The American Cancer Society will take our funds year around, and record them for each event, which greatly helps
our year long planning. This new partnership with the ACS is going very well.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A DONATION FOR THIS YEARS EVENT, PLEASE CONTACT ME: carolynn@pinkribbonmiracle.com
Your donation is tax deductible. Paypal donations can be made to: carolynn@pinkribbonmiracle.com
Today I am grateful for purple dragonflies.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 9, 2007
This will be the best fifty seconds of video you have seen in a long time. Please take the time to watch. click to view (windows media player)
Today I am grateful for Easter Break.
Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: Exercising a Mom's right to brag sometimes-- my wonderfully creative daughter created her own
Easter Greeting: click to view
Today I am grateful for the true meaning of Easter, and unconditional love.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday April 7, 2007
We awoke to about four and a half inches of snow this morning, and it snowed on and off all day! It's safe to say I won't see
the beautiful pink tulips across the front of my house this year, or the apricot ones around Abigail's tree.
Sometimes, silence in a child's bedroom is a sign of mischief.
Today I am grateful for Planet Earth.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday April 6, 2007
SNOW is falling! SNOW! I do love snow, but once Spring has made itself known, I don't want to go back. Plants have started to grow and
the tulips are covered with blooms. I hope the snow doesn't harm them.
Being Good Friday, tonight was our Church dinner and communion. Hannah took her first communion tonight, and I am so proud
that both my girls have made a profession of faith. dressed and ready sister love
Hannah-ism: Hannah was curled up on my lap, and we were just spending some time alone.
Me: "Do you know how much I love you?"
Hannah: "All the way to the moon and back."
Me: "That's right!" (because that's what I sing to her all the time)
Hannah: "I love you to the universe and the numbers. The moon is in one place but the universe and the numbers never
end! That means I love you more!!"
Today I am grateful for family love.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday April 5, 2007
Penny has decided to participate in the Danskin Women's Triathlon!
Proceeds from this event benefit the National Association of TEAM Survivor and The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Way to go, Pen!!
Today I am grateful for commitment.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday April 4, 2007
I received the final report on my cancer scans, including the suspect mass indicated on my MRI.
ALL CLEAR. My disease continues to remain in remission. I do not have the neurological issues resolved yet, but that is secondary to this
great news.
"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."
Happy Birthday, Frank. I love you. "I'm Daddy's Favorite" shirts, close up
Today I am grateful for my marriage.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday April 3, 2007
"There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more
fragrant than ever again." hands Gabby and Hannah, forever friends
Today I am grateful for water and blue waves.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 2, 2007
Today was a day where, for a moment, time stopped.
I had a hair appointment this morning, and stopped at WalMart on the way home. Candidly, I didn't feel up to shopping because
of my back pain, but we needed some essentials. I thought that the walking might actually help some. As I left the store and
was putting the groceries in the vehicle, my cell phone rang. It was Frank, and he said Dr. Razzaq (neurologist) needed to
speak with me. I immediately thought that to be at least a small red flag, because I already have a follow up appointment
scheduled, and Frank specifically said I had to speak with the doctor, not his office.
I went ahead and called right away, sitting in the parking lot. In moments, Dr. Razzaq was on the line. He said the radiologist
was reading my MRI's and called him about the lumbar spine.
"There is a mass on your adrenal gland, near one of my kidneys."
This is the moment time stopped, just briefly. I didn't have an immediate feeling of fear or dread, just one of surprise.
It was not news I expected to hear. "He recommends you have a CT scan, with and without contrast right away."
Thankfully, I had that very scan done, on Thursday---the day following the three MRI's. Dr. Razzaq gave me the radiologist's
name (Dr. Knapp) and phone number, and suggested I call him.
I am a methodical, logical person. I do not panic, nor do I expect the worst possible outcome. I live my life in an "It is what it is"
mindset. I immediately wanted to just take one step at a time. There was no need to panic. I just needed the facts. I needed
all of the facts, then make decisions if necessary, and move on.
Before I contacted Dr. Knapp, I needed to take a breath, and make a couple calls. I heard the fear in Franks words, in the tone of
his voice. I told him not to worry, that everything would be okay. I then contacted Dr. Knapp and he confirmed what my
neurologist had reported. I told him I had just had the CT, with and without contrast, as part of my cancer screening. He
attempted to locate that report and was successful. After a few moments, he told me that scan was all clear. I asked him
if he could say with 100% certainty that I did not require further screening, and he said yes. (I know the CT is a more thorough
test than the MRI) He told me he wasn't certain why the MRI picked up the mass, perhaps it picked up part of my stomach, or
some other reason.
I did call Dr. Stefanini to let him know what I had been told. I explained my recent visit with the neurologist and why, and
asked him to please review the MRI and CT himself (he hadn't received the CT report yet), and give me his opinion. It appears that
everything is okay, but I prefer to hear it from Dr. Stefanini. If he tells me it's clear as well, I know I am clear.
More than anything, this is a sobering reminder that there is no cure for cancer. Even in remission, I live with this disease.
It triggers memories of my initial diagnosis, the subsequent surgeries and treatments. It reminds me of the many biopsies I
have had in practically all parts of my body for five years. And it reminds me of God's care. Most importantly, I know He is in control.
Today I am grateful that God isn't finished with me yet.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday April 1, 2007
"Evaluation of the past is the first step toward vision for the future."
Today I am grateful for little girl friendships.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 31, 2007
"Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought."
Today I am grateful for a much needed, productive day--inside and out.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 30, 2007
“Listening to your heart, finding out who you are, is not simple. It takes time for the chatter to quiet down. In the silence of ‘not doing’ we begin
to know what we feel. If we listen and hear what is being offered, then anything in life can be our guide. Listen.”
It was Career Day at school yesterday, and Hannah decided she wanted to be a doctor. At a moments notice, I needed to put
something together. We grabbed one of Daddy's white shirts, and with the help of a red sharpie, and doctors kit, meet
Dr. Hannah Johnson.
She liked it enough that she wants to save it and use it for when she grows up and becomes a "real" doctor. (I'm thinking she may
decide that the "real" lab coat is cooler)
Today I am grateful for a day spent away from the hospitals.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 29, 2007
Final testing day! I left at around 7:15 this morning for my last series of tests. This one had to be done without eating
or drinking beforehand. I had it scheduled early so it wouldn't have an effect on my low blood sugar.
After checking in, I was given the large cup of liquid that they say is flavored kiwi-strawberry. Perhaps, if
you try really hard, you can taste a hint of that flavor. It's not a great drink, but it is so much better than what they
used years ago, and compared to barium, it's just fine! I had to drink and wait an hour and a half. When taken back into
the room, I had to drink a bit more just to make sure it would still be in my stomach also.
This scan was ordered with and without contrast. That requires them to access a vein. I had so many areas bruised from
previous testing, that she had one vein to try and one chance to get it right. She did it, and was very relieved. Most people
can't get me on the first stick. The first part of the test is quite simple. The machine tells you to breathe, breathe in,
and hold your breath several times, as you are moved to different positions. Unlike the MRI, it's a large narrow opening, and the sound
is just a whirring, not the repeated loud, odd and varying sounds of the MRI.
After a few minutes, it was time to add the contrast. It's put in through the machine and has blown my veins in the past.
It usually does send a fire up my arm, but it passes quick enough that it is tolerable. She wanted to avoid the burn this time
and slowed the rate of which it was injected. Before long I felt the familiar metal taste in my mouth, and a heat that
travels from the neck to the pelvis. There was no burn, the slower injection rate solved the problem. The same process
was then repeated, and the scan was complete. What is a CT (or cat scan)? <--click here
The liquid does irritate my stomach, and I just have to drink plenty to get the contrast flushed from my system. Now that
the tests are complete, I can start the strep antibiotic. Speaking of strep, Frank has it today. When it rains, it pours.
I will probably get the CT results tomorrow. The MRI and other results will come soon.
Today I am grateful for a week of testing now behind me.
Thank you God, for another day.
ADVOCACY NEWS: From Susan G. Komen For The Cure:
Just a few hours ago, with your help, we scored an enormous victory that will benefit millions of women across the country.
Earlier this week, the House of Representatives voted to reauthorize the National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection
Program (NBCCEDP). Today the Senate followed suit - an incredibly sweet finale to three years of hard work.
Together, we fought to ensure that more women have access to quality breast and cervical cancer screening. Through it all, so
many of you stood by our side, relentlessly contacting your members of Congress. Thank you. For many women, this program is
their only hope for survival.
Reauthorization of this program is proof that you truly have the power to save lives.
The National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program Reauthorization Act of 2007 will reauthorize the program at
a funding level of $225 million in 2008, increasing annually to $275 million in 2012. Additionally, Susan G. Komen for the
Cure worked with Congress to include a provision that will allow selected states to modify program requirements in order to
reach more women.
This legislative win is a significant step in our promise to end breast cancer forever. Each year, Congress has to appropriate
funding for the program, so stay tuned - we will need your help again.
But before we move on to the next challenge, don't underestimate the power of saying thanks!
And please consider this to be our "thank you" letter to you. We can't do this work without valuable Champions like you.
Sincerely,
Diane Balma
Vice President of Public Policy
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
Wednesday March 28, 2007
Not only am I starting to feel like a lab rat, I am now a lab rat with strep throat! What timing!
Today I had three MRIs. At 8am, I had the lumbar spine and cervical spine. These were without contrast, so there were no
injections. The process took close to an hour. Under normal circumstances, that wouldn't be too bad, but my body is bruised
and sore from the previous testing and laying on my back with my head in the cradle was not ideal.
I had to return to the hospital at 3pm for the third MRI. This one was done on the brachial plexus and Dr. Razzaq had
requested it be done with and without contrast, to get the best possible imaging. I had an injection about 35 minutes
into the process, with no problems. The test took about 45 minutes in total. What is an MRI? <--click here
I did talk with Dr. Stefanini and received the bone scan results. There is NO sign of cancer in the bone, which is obviously
great news. Unfortunately, the condition of my bones has deteriorated much more than I expected over the past two years. He
said my bones were "getting old and creaky" which made me chuckle just a bit. This decline does make sense however, given
the continual increase in pain and other issues I have been experiencing. Basically I have been told that I am 43 on the
outside but approximately 15 years older on the inside. The arthritis has progressed in my back and also now in my major
joints. There is some curvature in the spine, and more disc degeneration. These are serious issues and ones I cannot ignore.
I need to be diligent about trying to increase my core muscle strength to support my spine. This scan also indicated the osteoporosis had
moved from mild to moderate. I need a repeat bone density test, and that will be a more accurate
indicator on the status of the osteoporosis--more so than the bone scan.
The blood work results are almost complete, but it will be a couple of weeks before I get results on the cancer markers. My
red blood cell count was low, as it often is, but everything else looked pretty good.
These results may not be ideal, but I am comfortable with the outcome. I have survived, and if I had to trade optimal
health to save my life, I would do it every time. I will never surrender.
Today I am grateful for three testing days now behind me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 27, 2007
Today's tests: EMG and nerve conduction studies. This was done by the neurologist and not part of my cancer screening, but rather to
find an explanation for the numbness I am experiencing in my left arm and leg.
Electrodes were placed on my leg, followed by my arm, and electric "shocks" sent to determine my nerve activity. At one point my left
hand went ice cold, so I soaked in hot water and he tested again. There were many places where he had to really increase the strength
and the shocks were fairly intense. (They must have been pretty strong because he did tell me I had a high pain threshold)
After that was complete, five needles were placed in various areas of my leg, one at a time. Five were then placed in my
lower back, and five in my neck. What is EMG? <--click here
Although I won't have complete results until I have the MRIs done, it was determined there are at least two problems. Primarily,
I have neuropathy.
It shows clearly both in my leg and arm and he believes if the other side was tested, I would have the same results. This is likely
the result of high dose chemotherapy.
In addition, the ulnar nerve (commonly known as "funny bone") is being compressed. Apparently this is not a mild case, but more
advanced. I had to be fitted for a brace today to wear until all of the testing is complete. Surgery would correct this problem,
by relocating the nerve. I need to have all of the facts before making that decision.
Originally he had ordered MRI's of my cervical spine and lumbar spine. Because of these new findings, he has also requested
an additional MRI--the brachial plexus. That's the left chest area where my cancer was located, and includes the nerves that
are around the lymph nodes (where I had removal). It's more of a precaution than alarm-- just to make sure there is nothing
abnormal with the nerves in that area.
Another long day-- I was in his office for almost three hours, and then went to MedResponse for the brace. The first two
MRI's are scheduled for 8am tomorrow. The brachial will be done at 3pm, with and without contrast.
Just after 6pm tonight, after returning from this season's first softball practice, Abigail had a sudden onset of sore throat, fever, headache and nausea. I know this pattern well by
now. Frank took her to the ER, where she was diagnosed with strep. Flu and mono tests were negative. This is now five swab-confirmed
cases in exactly five months for her. (She had a repeat swab just four days ago to make sure she was clear after taking meds
for two weeks from the last diagnosis, and it did come back negative). It's now time to talk to the pediatrician about tonsil
removal.
Wow, what a day.
Today I am grateful for two testing days now behind me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday March 26, 2007
It's testing week. I never feel apprehensive about having the cancer scans done. I chose aggressive treatment options when
I was diagnosed and I have been vigilant with follow up on the various surgeries, biopsies and illnesses since then. I eat
healthy foods and take care of my body. Everything else is out of my control and I have no regrets. It's always been my belief
that my cancer will remain in remission. Of course I recognize that there are no guarantees, but I have no fear.
The hospital is about 35 minutes from my house, so I left around 10:15 this morning. I had my blood work first. As usual,
because I am a "difficult stick", it took multiple attempts to get into a vein. (They cannot use my left arm at all because
of the lymph node removal) It's something I am very used to by now, so it isn't overly bothersome to me. I headed over to
radiology for my bone scan. We had more trouble getting a vein for injection of the nuclear medicine. Once that was done, I
had to wait two hours for the tracers to be absorbed by the bones. I didn't want to sit at the hospital for that length of time,
so I drove home for lunch and a cup of tea. After about thirty minutes, I was back on the road to the hospital.
The bone scan itself took about 30 minutes. They did have to go back and do two additional scans, at two angles, on my lower
back for another ten minutes. It's likely they saw some more deterioration of the spine and decided to get some closer shots.
The technicians do not give any information directly. I don't think there were other concerns, but I won't receive results
until tomorrow.
My back had not quite recovered from the neurologist's manipulation last week, so laying flat on my back for the scan has
somewhat complicated that situation. By the afternoon, the fibromyalgia had set in pretty deep. It was a long day (I got
home close to 3pm) in what will likely be a long week. A long week, but one that is necessary and I am glad to have everything
wrapped up in a matter of days.
Some of you have wanted to understand more about the testing: What is a bone scan? <--click here
Today I am grateful for open windows and fresh air.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday March 25, 2007
Audrey was diagnosed with lymphoma. She went through several months of chemo, and after some scans and blood work this week,
she was told there was no sign of cancer. She is now in remission!
This is the face of a survivor.
This is the face of someone who believes.
This is the face of beauty.
Meet Audrey <--click here
Today I am grateful for a glowing smile.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 24, 2007
My MRI's are now scheduled (for Wednesday), and with the exception of the bone density test to determine the status or progression
of my osteoporosis, everything will will completed next week.
On March 21st, I posted a link to my favorite picture. Many of you emailed and thought it was Hannah. It is actually
me sleeping on my father's chest!
Today I am grateful for remaining Daddy's Girl.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 23, 2007
"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different."
Today I am grateful for lilac buds.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 22, 2007
I am happy to announce that we have three more members of Carolynn's Crew!
My Mom has committed to joining us. This will be a great experience, because she has been unable to travel and be with me
at any of our past events.
In addition, Curt and Crystal Taylor are now part of our group. I have known them for about a year and a half, when Hannah
started playing soccer and became fast friends with their daughter. This is an exciting addition and I am thrilled to have
them on board!
Today I am grateful for contagious enthusiasm.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS: Currently, there is NO cure for cancer. None. This is why we walk....
Elizabeth Edwards, along with husband and presidential candidate John Edwards, held a press conference
today to announce that she has incurable breast cancer in the bone.
Elizabeth, 57, has metastatic cancer — meaning that the stage four breast cancer has spread from another region of the body
to the bone.
Elizabeth first announced she was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of her husband’s 2004 presidential race as running
mate to Sen. John Kerry.
In the press conference today, she said she is optimistic in the face of this incurable cancer. But while this cancer may be
incurable, it is treatable.
This diagnosis of metastatic cancer changes the prognosis for any cancer survivor.
With stage four breast cancer, basically the life expectancy for five-year survival, averages around 20 percent. Even though
these are gross statistics, cancer can manifest very differently in individuals.
Elizabeth says she plans for her life to continue as usual, as her husband continues his race for the White House in 2008.
In the immediate future, life should continue as usual, and most of these patients are encouraged to continue a very healthy
lifestyle of balanced diet and exercise to stay strong as they battle this cancer.
Wednesday March 21, 2007
My favorite picture: click here
Today I am grateful for childhood memories.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 20, 2007
"The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome.
The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no valleys to traverse."
I had an appointment with a neurologist today. A few months ago I started experiencing numbness in my left leg and in my left arm.
It seems to begin at my lower back and continues down the back of my leg, under my foot and to the toes. It became more consistent over time and warranted a doctor's visit. (The arm numbness could be coming from lymphedema, although I
haven't experienced it as much in previous years) He did a thorough exam, and while I don't have an answer yet, I am scheduled
for a couple different nerve conduction studies on Tuesday. They'll do the electrical and needle on my lower back, left leg,
and my neck. Since I've had lymph node removal from my left arm, they'll only do the electrical study and no needle sticks.
He also ordered MRIs on my cervical spine and lumbar spine. In addition to seeing if there is further deterioration in my back,
he does want to ensure that my cancer has not metastasized to the bones. It's a standard protocol and I feel no concern or
alarm. Those will be scheduled in the next few days.
It's also time for my cancer scans. This is the first time I've gone two years instead of 6 months or annually. I have the
bone scan and all bloodwork on Monday and the CT scans on Thursday. It will be a busy week of poking, prodding, injections,
nuclear medicine and scanning. I expect nothing but positive results.
Today I am grateful for CDs.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday March 19, 2007 Hannah-ism: My Dad refers to my mom, me and Abigail as "three peas in a pod". We have a lot of traits in common, both
physically and in our personalities. This morning, Mom and Dad came over with breakfast. Abigail was at school, and Hannah was home
with pink eye. I guess Hannah couldn't quite remember Dad's saying...and out of the blue, she blurted out:
Hannah: "I'm the third bean!"
Today I am grateful for crisp outdoor air.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday March 18, 2007
"To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult."
Today I am grateful for homemade mosaics.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 17, 2007
If I were President... click here
Today I am grateful for surprise fluffy snowflakes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 16, 2007
We've just received approval to add a special breast cancer lap for the June event. Things are quickly falling into place!
Today I am grateful for the ACS partnership.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 15, 2007
For the past five years, we have participated in The 3 Day Walk as well as the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (2 Day). Each year
I have had to travel out of state to participate in all of these events--Washington DC (for three years), Philadelphia, PA and
Charlotte, NC. After wrapping up five years on long distance walks and celebrating my fifth year in remission, it was important
to me to "bring the event home". Members of my local community have wanted to be involved in our efforts, but could not travel.
I talked to my fellow team members and they agreed that this was a good time to become involved locally.
Over the past few months, I have made several contacts, and researched the options we have. I am happy to say that Carolynn's Crew will
be participating in the ACS Relay for Life on June 30th! In addition, we are also official sponsors of the event itself!
This event does not have age guidelines, so for the first time, Abigail and Hannah are now "real" members of the Crew. I couldn't be
happier and they are very excited.
If you would like to join us for this event, or would like more information, please email me.
We would love to have you join our team! I know that many of you are local and we haven't met. This would be a great opportunity
to get to know each other. If you are willing to travel to our area, you are also welcome! The registration fee is only $10
(free if you are a cancer survivor).
Because we are moving from a fall event to a summer event, I realize that our fund raising window for this year is tight. We
are in the process of working out additional breast cancer fund raisers and celebrations. Fund raising starts now! If
you can't join us for this event, you can be a vital part of our success by making a donation. Without donors, our events
couldn't exist! Please help us fund research, education programs, and FIND A CURE.
Checks can be made payable to The American Cancer Society, and mailed to:
Carolynn Johnson
Carolynn's Crew
PO Box 1551
North Tazewell, VA 24630
These checks will be given to the ACS office on a timely basis, so that no checks are held for an extended period.
If you would like to paypal your donation, please send funds to carolynn@pinkribbonmiracle.com. I will send you an
email confirmation and receipt.
More details to come!!
Today I am grateful for "coming home".
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday March 14, 2007
"At the end of each day, you should play back the tapes of your performance. The results should either applaud you or prod
you."
Today I am grateful for the season's first blooming daffodil.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 13, 2007
I read something a few days ago that really stuck with me. "The FIRST FOUR MINUTES you spend with someone (your spouse, significant
other, etc) at the beginning of the day will determine how that day will continue." How will you spend YOUR first four minutes?
Today I am grateful for surprise breakfast in bed.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday March 12, 2007
By this evening, Abigail no longer has a fever. She continues the meds for ten days and must return for a repeat swab in two weeks just
to make sure she is clear.
Today I am grateful for the return of berries in the produce department.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday March 11, 2007
"Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind."
Today I am grateful for a little girl on the mend.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 10, 2007
Abigail seems to be feeling some better, although she still has a fever and sore throat. Hannah spent the day at "Goldays"
to lessen the chances that she would also get sick.
Today I am grateful for fresh air.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 9, 2007
For the fourth time since mid-October, Abigail has strep throat. Around noon she was checked out of school, with a fever and
sore throat. A couple hours later her fever suddenly spiked, she was sick to her stomach and slurring her words. She now has
Phenergan gel and an antibiotic that she hasn't taken in the past. The pharmacist did say it was very strong, especially for
someone who continues to relapse. She is continuing Tylenol also. Other than the trip to the pediatrician, she has been in bed since
12:30 this afternoon.
Today I am grateful for a sleeping eight year old.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 8, 2007
Meet Brandon. He is almost sixteen
years old, and fighting a battle for his life. He now weighs 77 pounds. His family wants to give him a wonderful birthday.
Would you consider sending a card?
Brandon was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in Aug 2004. After many trips to the hospital and doctor's Brandon was not getting
better. On Oct. 22, 2004 Brandon was diagnosed also with Medulloblastoma(brain tumor), that metastasized to his spine. 10-25-04
he had surgery to remove the brain tumor. 11-10-04 he had a shunt placed in his head to relieve the pressure. 11-22-04 we started
30 radiation treatment's with a weekly dose of Vincristine (chemo). From 2-05 to 7-05 Brandon had 6 rounds of heavy chemo in
the hospital. He has had clean scans until 9-22-06, when we found out he relapsed. He has Medullablastoma in his bone marrow.
This is very rare. He is having 10 radiation treatments on his hip and he is taking an oral form of chemo (VP-16) at home. If
the chemo works he will have a stem cell transplant from his own blood. After 1 round of the oral chemo scans showed more tumors.
We are now doing IV chemo (Carboplatin & Etoposide-VP-16) in the hospital. Please keep praying for Brandon and our family to
make it thru this. Thanks for all the love and support.
We also need you help. We want to have TONS of cards to give to Brandon on his 16th Birthday. Please mail a Birthday card to
Brandon. If possible, please enclose a photo of you and your family. We can't break a record for Guinness since they retired
the category, but we can certainly bring a smile to Brandon's face when he sees TONS of Birthday Cards! Please mail card to:
Brandon Elam @ The Brandon Elam Fund
7900-D Stevens Mill Road #138
Matthews, NC 28104.
Thank you visit Brandon's site
Today I am grateful for my own healthy children, and a young man who still smiles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday March 7, 2007
"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him."
March is continuing to show itself with strong winds, and Spring seems to be very close. Temperatures continue to climb,
actually hitting sixty degrees today. Next week's forecast is for the fifties or sixties every day. As the seasons change,
the birds are singing loudly, and new life emerges everywhere.
Today I am grateful for an enigmatic connection.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 6, 2007
"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly
proportional as to how they perceive the Veterans of earlier wars were treated and appreciated by their country."
Today I am grateful for an opened door, and a salute given to my Dad.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for tulips beginning to show themselves.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday March 4, 2007
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
Welcome back, Audrey.
Today I am grateful for the sight of a familiar turban.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 3, 2007
"Today I live in the quiet, joyous expectation of good."
Today I am grateful for "Facing the Giants".
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 2, 2007
"Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be."
Today I am grateful for the sound of the wind.
Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: We've always known that at some point, especially in school, Abigail's name would probably be
shortened. Some of the men in our family have always called her Abbey anyway. She'll always be Abigail to me (and many others). We
have no problem with it, as long as Abigail doesn't mind.
Abigail: "Mommy, can I start writing Abbey on my papers?"
Me: "If you want to, sure. Do people at school call you that?"
Abigail: "Yeah, a lot. And my teachers."
Me: "Do you like it?"
Abigail: "Yeah, I like Abigail and Abbey. I want to spell it A-b-b-e-y, though."
Me: (laughing) "Did you know that spelling is like a famous place in England?"
Abigail: "Really? I like it better than A-b-b-y."
Me: "That's fine with me. Start spelling it that way. It's official!"
Abigail: "Yea!"
(Who am I to object? On my birth certificate, my first name is spelled C-a-r-o-l-y-n-n (two N's) and my middle name is D-e-n-y-s-e
(Y instead of I, another unusual spelling!)
Thursday March 1, 2007
"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow."
Final phone calls are being made and meetings scheduled. I will have an announcement on March 15th about Carolynn's Crew
and this year's event!
Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 28, 2007
"Never let life's hardships disturb you…no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages."
Today I am grateful for Master Clubs.
Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail:
Abigail: "Mommy, how much is a ferret?"
Me: "I don't know. Maybe $80 to $100."
Abigail: "Ok, I don't have that much."
Me: "Honey, we can't have a ferret. We have cats."
Abigail: "Even if I keep it in a carrier?"
Me: "I think it would still upset the cats. They may try to fight each other."
Abigail: "Oh, ok." (paused, then as she walked away) "I hope I have $100 when I grow up."
ADVOCACY NEWS: Join the Young Survival Coalition and hundreds of other women and men from across the country and the
world as you learn to be an educated and effective grassroots breast cancer advocate at the National Breast Cancer Coalition
Fund's (NBCCF) 15th Annual Advocacy Training Conference, “Beyond Ribbons to Revolution"
April 28 - May 1 at the Hyatt Regency Crystal City in Arlington, Virginia. Scholarships are available through both NBCC and YSC, but the deadline for
application is March 12th.
Meet other survivors and celebrate NBCCF’s 15th Anniversary! Take part in valuable workshops. Attend exciting discussions and
plenaries. Network with your fellow advocates, grow your knowledge and learn how you can do more to fight breast cancer.
This conference is sure to be a phenomenal educational experience. The plenary sessions cover controversial topics. This year's
speakers include Dr. Don Berry, Anderson Cancer Center; Gail Wilensky, Project HOPE; Dr. Eric Winer, Dana-Farber Cancer Institute
and YSC Medical Advisory Board Member; Judy Woodruff, NewsHour with Jim Lehrer; Robert Bazell, NBC News and Dr. Susan Love.
Tuesday February 27, 2007
"Only an instant stands between the future we plan and that other future that claims us."
Today I am grateful for 152 South Africans who believe in "girl power".
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday February 26, 2007
"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach."
Today I am grateful for bagels.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 25, 2007
The Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act was signed into law last year (July 27, 2006).
Child predators are living in our neighborhoods and we don't know about them. Repeat offenders are relocating and can't be found.
Convicted predators are not receiving just punishment.
Please take a moment of your time to let our government officials know that this is an important issue. You can write your
own letter or simply copy and paste the sample letters here. Let your voice be heard. We know there is strength in numbers.
Pass this on to everyone you know. PLEASE give five minutes of your time, and help save a child.
To find the email address of your Senator(s), click here
Dear Senator:
As your constituent, I am writing this letter to urge you and your colleagues to act swiftly to fully fund the Adam Walsh
Child Protection and Safety Act. The provisions of the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act must be funded now so that
law enforcement can protect children and communities from the scourge of convicted sex offenders:
I urge you to fully fund all of the mandates within the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. I am particularly concerned
about the following:
1. To implement an effective and comprehensive national registry database and website of sex offenders.
2. To build capacity in the federal law enforcement system to enable law enforcement to track and capture noncompliant sex
offenders and bring them to justice.
3. To implement a national DNA database so that law enforcement can accurately and promptly verify DNA evidence.
Citizens must have access to accurate and timely information regarding convicted sex offenders living in their community.
The 50 states and the federal government must be afforded adequate resources to build and maintain an effective national sex
offender database. A national sex offender database is a critical safeguard to protect America’s children and with each passing
day that the provisions of this law are not funded, the danger to children is heightened. When information about the identity
and whereabouts of convicted sex offenders is not accessible, accurate and verifiable, our communities are at grave risk.
I strongly urge you to act now to fund the mandates passed in the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act so that our children
are kept safe from these dangerous predators and law enforcement has the necessary investigative resources.
Thank you for your attention to this urgent request.
Sincerely,
(your name here)
To find the email address of your Governor, click here
Dear Governor:
As your constituent, I am writing this letter to urge you and your appropriate state agencies to act swiftly to implement
the state requirements under the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. Although the Adam Walsh Act provided that states
have three years to comply with the requirements, delay in implementing these changes will jeopardize the safety of children
and the community. Law enforcement needs the resources to protect children and communities from the scourge of convicted sex
offenders:
I urge you to fully implement all the state mandates within the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. I am particularly
concerned about the following:
1. To implement an effective and comprehensive mechanism to verify the residence of the most high risk sex offenders at least
once every three months.
2. To collect DNA samples from sex offenders who have not already provided them to local law enforcement.
3. To complete fingerprint-based background checks on all foster and adoptive placements to ensure that foster children are
placed in safe homes.
Citizens need access to accurate and timely information regarding convicted sex offenders living in their community. The 50
states and the federal government are responsible for building and maintaining an effective national sex offender database.
A national sex offender database is a critical safeguard to protect America’s children and with each passing day that the
provisions of this law are not implemented, the danger to children is heightened. The states are at the forefront to provide
reliable information about the identity and whereabouts of convicted sex offenders. That information needs to be accessible,
accurate and verifiable, or our communities are at grave risk.
I strongly urge you to act now to implement the state-directed mandates passed in the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety
Act so that our children are kept safe from these dangerous predators and law enforcement has the necessary investigative
resources.
Thank you for your attention to this urgent request.
Sincerely,
(your name here)
Today I am grateful for advocacy.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday February 24, 2007
We all miss you very much, Mom-maw.
Today I am grateful for the time we were able to spend together.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 23, 2007
The 2007 Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer starts today in Arlington, Va. This event is
sponsored by The Young Survival Coalition and Living Beyond Breast Cancer. It will be three days of information,
education, and support. I'm looking forward to hearing highlights from the weekend.
Today I am grateful for a surprise breakfast.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday February 22, 2007
"We each need to let our intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly."
Today I am grateful for Poppy's treasure boxes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 21, 2007
"Discontent is the first step in progress. No one knows what is in him till he tries, and many would never try if they were not forced to."
Today I am grateful for the sound of chimes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday February 20, 2007
"Abandon nothing. Take up nothing. Rest, abide in yourself, just as you are."
Hannah-ism: This afternoon the telephone rang and a child's voice asked for Hannah. I called her name and told her
she had a call.
Hannah: "Who is it?"
Me: "One of your friends, I think."
Hannah: "Hello?"
I could hear chatter on the other end, but still wasn't sure who she was talking with.
Me: (whispering) "Who is it?"
Hannah: (whispering) "It's Andrew."
I thought to myself that this is the first call she has had from a boy, and it made me smile. I also recognized his name, knowing
this is the boy she said she is going to marry and he has agreed.
Some of the conversation I overheard:
Hannah: "I found Spot again, he's my pet lady bug."
(moments of silence as Andrew was telling his own stories)
Hannah: "Yeah, I can come to your house, or you can come here."
Me: (after they had spoken for about ten minutes) "Tell him you need to go so you can finish your homework."
Hannah: (silence as he continues to talk)
Me: "Honey, tell him you have to go."
Hannah: (whispering) "He's still talking!"
Me: "Just tell him Mommy said you need to go."
Hannah: "Mommy said I have to go."
(apparently he responded with "Where?")
Hannah: (laughing) "Off the phone!"
Hannah: "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye"
Hannah: (speaking to me) "Andrew asked me to go to the movies to see Terabithia and I said yes."
Me: "Oh, I see! Well, we'll talk about it, ok?"
Hannah: "Ok. I love him and he said he loves me. We are going to get married. I gave him my phone number today. He asked for it."
Today I am grateful for surprise hugs.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday February 19, 2007
School was closed today, but the temperature climbed into the low forties. The girls were able to go outside and shovel,
make snow angels, build an igloo, and have a snowball fight. Once inside, we had tea and McVities to warm up.
Just back inside, with rosy cheeks: Hannah Abigail
Today I am grateful for outdoor fun.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 18, 2007
This winter has seemed to last too long. Not a typical season, although we have had ice and frigid temperatures we have not
had a lot of actual snowfall. I had even begun to long for spring. At last the snow I've wanted all winter has arrived. It
started before noon yesterday and has continued on and off since then. It's beautiful outside, and I love to watch it fall while
I am warm, tucked safely inside my home.
This may be our last real snowfall, with the forecast to actually hit the low fifties by weeks end. The daffodils
along the side of the driveway are already peeking through the earth.
Today I am grateful for snowflakes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday February 17, 2007
2007 Dates for Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, Komen 3 Day Walk, and Race for the Cure Events ~ for your reference. These are the
three primary breast cancer walk series, although there are many other walks that are also wonderful events. If you would like
more info, use the links provided or contact me directly.
2007 Avon Walk for Breast Cancer
Washington DC May 5-6, 2007
Boston May 19-20, 2007
Chicago June 2-3, 2007
Denver June 23-24, 2007
San Francisco July 7-8, 2007
Los Angeles September 15-16, 2007
New York October 6-7, 2007
Charlotte October 20-21, 2007
2007 Komen 3Day Walk for Breast Cancer
Boston August 3-5, 2007
Chicago August 10-12, 2007
Cleveland August 17-19, 2007
Twin Cities August 24-26, 2007
Seattle September 7-9, 2007
Michigan September 28-30, 2007
Philadelphia October 5-7, 2007
Atlanta October 12-14, 2007
Tampa Bay October 19-21, 2007
Dallas/Ft. Worth October 26-28, 2007
Arizona November 2-4, 2007
San Diego November 9-11, 2007
Today I am grateful for people who care.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 16, 2007
2007 is well on it's way and we are looking at three different options for Carolynn's Crew this year. I am excited at all
of the possibilities. Right now we are still in the information gathering and planning process. I will announce event information
as soon as I can.
In the meantime, Kelle has already registered for the Philadelphia Three Day Walk, this year as a crew member. She will also
participate in the event we settle on for Carolynn's Crew. We've known this plan since last year. She wants to give back to
an event that has given so much to her. I understand this feeling, because the 3 Day still owns my heart, too. It is very much
my desire to also crew in Philly, but physically I am currently not in a place to commit to the travel and event itself, even in the role as Crew support.
Today I am grateful for continued, genuine commitment.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday February 15, 2007 Hannah-ism: Although Hannah is now at an age where we teach her the "correct" word, there are times when something
comes out that's just too cute. And so we let it go until next time.
Hannah: "My pebbles in my eyes are black."
Me: "Your pebbles?"
Hannah: "Yeah, my pebbles. In the middle of my eye. And if it is dark they get bigger!"
Today I am grateful for childhood innocence.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 14, 2007
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Happy Valentines Day, my darling.
Today I am grateful for being loved EVERY day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday February 13, 2007
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and
withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."
Today I am grateful for moments of silence.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday February 12, 2007
"Learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don't do well simply because they major in minor things."
Today I am grateful for not being enslaved to an employers schedule.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 11, 2007
"Can anything be sadder than work unfinished? Yes, work never begun."
Today I am grateful for raspberries making an appearance in the produce department again.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday February 10, 2007
The birds have actually started singing in the mornings! Dad even put seed out and they are eagerly eating.
Although I know we have a good four to six weeks left of winter, I am eagerly awaiting spring's arrival. Usually I
don't feel this way until March, but the bitter cold and level of sickness this year makes me long for winter's end.
Today I am grateful for little girls shopping for surprises for Mommy.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 9, 2007
"He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality."
Today I am grateful for a trip outside and a beautiful blue sky.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday February 8, 2007
"Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty,
believe in them and try to follow where they lead."
Today I am grateful for homemade heart shaped waffles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 7, 2007 It's All Abigail: The schools were closed today and the girls enjoyed another surprise day at home.
Most of Abigail's day was spent drawing and "decorating" her bedroom. She loves to cut paper and draw things to
tape on the doors and window frames. Currently there are zoo animals to greet you as you enter her bedroom. Last week she cut
strips of paper, "curled" them with a ruler, and taped them everywhere. Each window was surrounded, as were many other areas
in her room. She still dreams of being an artist. the zoo close-up of zoo door
Today I am grateful for Abigail's patience to spend hours with paper and a creative mind.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday February 6, 2007
We had a beautiful snowfall this afternoon. After high winds and bitter cold, it's nice to see the snowflakes
gently fall. more of
nature's beauty
Hannah-ism:
Hannah: "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream..."
Me: (smiling that she is singing a familiar rhyme)
Hannah: "Push your teacher overboard, and listen to her scream!"
Me: (eyes widened in surprise)
Hannah: (laughing wildly) "That's funny, isn't it Mommy?!"
Today I am grateful for late schedule.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday February 5, 2007
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
Today I am grateful for the fireplace.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 4, 2007
IT'S WORLD CANCER DAY!
What are you doing to spread awareness? What are you doing to protect yourself?
SUPERBOWL XLI
Colts defeat the Bears, 29-17
Mom-maw, your boys won! I'd give anything to have been able to sit and watch this game with you.
Today I am grateful for a grandmother who loved football.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday February 3, 2007
"Once the 'what' is decided, the 'how' always follows. We must not make the 'how' an excuse for not
facing and accepting the 'what.'"
The girls are definitely much better now. Although school reopened on Friday, I chose to keep them home and give them the benefit
of the extra day at home (combined with the weekend) to ensure they were well enough to not relapse when surrounded by sick
children at school. Frank is much better as well. I have just started my meds, so I expect this headache to hang with me for
a day or so more.
Today I am grateful for being able to stay home all day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 2, 2007
"Choices are the hinges of destiny."
Today I am grateful for colored paper.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday February 1, 2007
School was closed today, although the ice/snow storm that was forecast for the day never materialized. The girls
are finally starting to show improvement. Frank had to start on a second antibiotic, and I have an appointment
tomorrow.
Today I am grateful for Dad's breakfast delivery.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday January 31, 2007
Both girls had to make a return trip to the doctor on Monday, and are on additional medications. They are now back in school,
but are tiring out each day. We are in single digit temps and negative wind chills. More snow is coming tomorrow. Frank has
also returned to work, but he is fatigued and coughing. The level of illness going on right now in our area is the worst
we've seen in a long time.
Today I am grateful for custom M&M pictures that make me smile.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 30, 2007
"Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art."
Today I am grateful for late schedule.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 29, 2007
I've followed this story since his injury, and found todays news heartbreakingly sad:
Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized Monday morning after complications from his breakdown at the Preakness last May.
"We just reached a point where it was going to be difficult for him to go on without pain," co-owner Roy Jackson said. "It was the
right decision, it was the right thing to do. We said all along if there was a situation where it would become more difficult
for him then it would be time."
Today I am grateful for animal lovers.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 28, 2007
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."
Today I am grateful for Cranium Family Fun.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 27, 2007
"Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought."
Today I am grateful for sunshine.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday January 26, 2007
Another day off work for Frank, and another missed school day for both girls--everyone is still sick. I have developed a cough
and headache, but not severe enough to warrant a trip to the doctor. I'm just taking otc sinus medication for now. It may not
develop into anything worse.
Today I am grateful for Dad's trip to the grocery store.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday January 25, 2007
Frank went to the doctor this morning and stayed in bed all day today. The only time I saw him was when I went in to tell him it was
time for medication, every four hours. This is probably about the fifth time he has missed a work day for illness in ten years. I
am sleeping on the couch tonight, to try and stay well.
Today I am grateful for still showing no signs of getting the same infection my entire family now has.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday January 24, 2007
To no real surprise, Abigail came home from school today, sick. She is now on the same medication as Hannah. This evening, it
seems Frank has also been hit with the same thing. Thankfully, I am still showing no symptoms, which is highly unusual for me.
I always get every illness that comes around, so this is a refreshing change.
Today I am grateful for legos.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 23, 2007
There is currently a very bad outbreak of flu in the area. On Saturday, my pediatrician alone diagnosed eighteen cases. (Legitimate
use of the swab to test). Hannah got sick on Sunday afternoon, so I took her to see Dr. Thomson on Monday. Between 9:00 and 11:00, he had already diagnosed
another eight cases. The school had a very high abseentee percentage yesterday. Thankfully, Hannah didn't have the flu, but
she does have another viral infection. Her head is full, she is running a fever and the cough is so bad it chokes her. She also
has pink eye. Last night she didn't sleep well, but after a full day dose today on a new medication, I hope she can rest
tonight.
Hannah-ism: Out of the blue, Hannah decided to give me a lesson about having babies. This conversation was umprompted.
Hannah: "I know how you get a baby."
Me: "You do?"
Hannah: "Yep. First you ask Jesus to give you one. Then when you think it's time, you go to the hospital."
Me: "Really?"
Hannah: "Yeah. Then you breathe and they put a blanket on your belly. When you wake up, they give you your baby."
Me: "Wow, that's cool."
Today I am grateful for CVS and motrin.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 22, 2007
ACTION ALERT:
KOMEN FOUNDATION, NEW NAME, NEW LOGO
I made a promise to my sister, Susan G. Komen, who died from breast cancer at the age of 36. The promise that started us has
now become the promise of millions. In celebration of our 25th anniversary, I invite you to create your own Promise Circle -
an online network of family and friends joining you in the breast cancer movement.
We are moving in a bold new direction - new name, new logo, same promise - to end breast cancer forever. Public policy is an
enhanced area of focus for the organization as we empower people, ensure quality care for all, and energize science to discover
the cures for breast cancer. Our voices must be heard to ensure that breast cancer is a national priority. Another way you
can help in the breast cancer movement is to view this video, create your own Promise Circle and spread the word to everyone
you know.
You are part of the world's largest, most progressive grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists. Throughout
our 25th year, we are dedicated to engaging our grassroots activists in a yearlong program of special events and initiatives
to discover and deliver the cures. We're on a mission - join us!
We are deeply grateful to you for making our first 25 years a huge success, helping to turn millions of breast cancer patients
into survivors. I am eager to see what we can accomplish together.
Sincerely,
Nancy Brinker, Founder
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
Today I am grateful for 25 years.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 21, 2007
"In all of my interactions with people, I've never found anyone, regardless of their level of success, who doesn't sometimes find
themselves simply not wanting to do the things that they need and want to do. It is a part of human nature that there will
be times that, in spite of all that we need to do, and even desire to, we will find ourselves not wanting to do anything.
And what separates those who will become successful from those who will maintain the status-quo, is the ability at those very
crucial moments of time when we are making decisions about what we will do, to choose to find the inner motivation that will
enable us to conquer our complacency and move on in action."
Today I am grateful for warm boots.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 20, 2007
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with
talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
Today I am grateful for the possibility of snow.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday January 19, 2007
I am very hesitant to allow my girls to visit their classmates homes, since I really don't know their families. Hannah has a best friend
named Gabby, and I really like her parents. Today she went home with Gabby after school and stayed for a few hours. This was the
first time she had visited a friends home, and she had a fantastic time. She is already planning on Gabby coming to our house
next. Frank picked her up at 6:30. This is a classic one-liner from Hannah as Frank made the turn onto our street. Hannah-ism: "Ah, the smell of home, sweet home."
Today I am grateful for Curt and Crystal.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday January 18, 2007
I am in awe of nature... here's more
Today I am grateful for the ability to read.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS:
The number of deaths from cancer saw the largest drop ever recorded...
between 2003 and 2004, according to an American Cancer Society (ACS) report released yesterday.
The report found that there were 3,014 fewer cancer deaths in the United States in 2004 than there were in 2003 — 1,160 fewer
in men and 1,854 fewer in women. The figures were compiled using data gathered by the National Center for Health Statistics
in 2004, the most recent year for which statistics on cancer deaths are available.
This year's decline is the second consecutive year-by-year drop in the number of deaths caused by cancer.
The number of deaths fell almost across the board for the four most common types of cancer, lung cancer in women being the only
exception. Deaths from lung cancer -- the No. 1 cancer killer overall -- fell by 333 for men but climbed by 347 for women. That's
mostly due to the fact that women as a population started smoking later than men, and the resulting health problems have caught
up with them only recently.
In fact, far more men still die from lung cancer -- 89,575 men in 2004 compared with 68,431 women.
The most progress in turning around the numbers was in the category of colorectal cancer, where deaths fell by 1,110 for men
and 1,094 for women in 2004. Deaths from breast cancer fell by 666, to 40,954, in 2004, and deaths from prostate cancer fell
by 552, to 29,002.
Though the figures from last year's report showed a more modest dip — there were 369 fewer cases than the year before — that
was the first year since researchers began compiling these statistics more than 70 years ago that the number of deaths showed
a decrease.
And cancer experts said this year's report may indicate the beginning of a continuing downward trend.
Dr. Len Lichtenfeld, deputy chief medical officer of the ACS, called the report "wonderful news."
"[We] can say with certainty that, for the second consecutive year, the absolute number of people dying from cancer in this
country has continued to decrease," Lichtenfeld wrote in a blog posted on the ACS Web site yesterday.
According to figures from the ACS, the drop in deaths from colorectal cancer was the most significant contributor to the
decline, as 1,110 fewer men and 1,094 fewer women died from it in 2004 than in 2003.
However, lower death rates were also seen in prostate and breast cancer. The number of deaths attributable to lung cancer dipped
in men, but deaths from lung cancer in women still rose slightly.
Still, the numbers represent a dramatic drop from those seen in 1990 and 1991, when death rates from cancer hit their peak.
Cancer death rates since have decreased by 16.3 percent among men and by 8.5 percent among women, the ACS reports.
"This success is the outcome of an investment made by the U.S. and other governments in medical research," said Dr. Richard
Pestell, director of the Kimmel Cancer Center at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia.
"Cancer, like every problem, can be beaten through determined wills, clear thinking and collaboration."
Cancer experts said the decline shows that measures to prevent death from cancer are moving in the right direction.
One important cause for the decline may be prevention strategies — most notably the success of anti-smoking campaigns.
"I believe that the drop in cancer deaths is very real and due to a number of factors," said Dr. Michael Colvin, director
emeritus of the Duke Comprehensive Cancer Center in Durham, N.C. He said these factors include screening and other preventive
measures.
Increased use of colonoscopies likely helped cut deaths attributable to colorectal cancer, while mammograms and self-examination
likely helped more women identify breast cancer at earlier stages.
Campaigns to encourage smoking cessation and other healthy lifestyle choices also may be partly responsible.
Colvin cited medical advances such as "improved anti-cancer agents and treatment at earlier stages of disease" as additional
driving factors.
But whether or not the decline will sustain itself in years to come remains unclear.
"Although we hope that this decline will continue (and possibly accelerate) in future years, we can't be certain until the
data is available," Lichtenfeld wrote.
"Much of our success will be in a succession of small steps, and not huge breakthroughs — although, fortunately, those do
happen from time to time." The discovery of a decline in death rate from cancer is tempered by the fact that experts project
that more than half a million Americans will die of cancer this year. This makes cancer the nation's top cause of death for
those under the age of 85.
Plus, death rates from certain types of cancer are still on the rise, the report found.
"Unfortunately, not all of the news is good," Lichtenfeld wrote. He said these cancers include cancers of the esophagus, liver
and bile ducts in men. He adds that lung cancer in women is also claiming lives at an increased rate.
"No doubt, we still have a long way to go," Lichtenfeld wrote. "Despite our progress, an estimated 559,650 Americans will
lose their lives to cancer in 2007, which is over 1,500 deaths every day of the year." And whether the improvements continue
could hinge on availability of government funding, according to ACS officers. The importance of this funding may have been
underscored by a scheduling change in the release of the figures in order to coincide with a visit by President Bush to the
National Institutes of Health.
"The drops come at a time of great concern about future progress," said Dr. Richard Wender, national volunteer president of
the ACS, in a press release issued today. "[T]hese gains are threatened by cutbacks in funding for research and prevention
programs. A few years after our nation doubled its investment in medical research, Congress cut cancer funding for the first
time in more than a decade.
"I hope today's news demonstrates that the resources spent on this fight have been worthwhile and inspires our lawmakers to
recommit themselves to it."
Wednesday January 17, 2007 Hannah-ism: Hannah doesn't wake often in the night, but last night she ran into our bedroom at 1:30am after a
bad dream. This evening before bed, I was having a light-hearted, fun conversation with her.
Me: "If you wake up in the night, ask Jesus to help you go back to sleep."
Hannah: "I will."
Me, laughing: "Last night you flew down the hall and left Him in bed!"
Hannah: "That can't be true Mommy! He follows me everywhere!!"
Today I am grateful for children.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 16, 2007
From The Breast Cancer Site:
In 2006, purchases funded 2,955 free mammograms for homeless, working-poor, and un-insured women. With the 2,612 mammograms
funded by clicks on the pink "Fund Free Mammograms" button last year, together we helped a total of 5,567 women by giving the
gift of early detection!
Don't forget your daily click! Use link below or the permanent pink button near the top of this page!
Today I am grateful for mammography.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 15, 2007
"Action is the antidote to despair."
Today I am grateful for photography.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 14, 2007
"Believe that you can do it, under any circumstances. Because if you believe you can, then you really will. That belief just keeps you searching for the
answers, then pretty soon you get it."
Because a picture is worth a thousand words. nature
Today I am grateful for apples.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 13, 2007
Basketball season is winding down for Abigail. (This sport has the highest age requirement, age 6. Hannah is eligible to play next year) They've had a
successful season, only losing two of their twelve games. Meet Coach Charlie and the Lakers Abigail loves the game
Today I am grateful for Twister.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday January 12, 2007
"The bow that is always at full stretch will soon cease to shoot straight."
Today I am grateful for raindrops.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday January 11, 2007
"Being rich isn't about money. Being rich is a state of mind. Some of us, no matter how much money we have, will never be free enough
to take time to stop and eat the heart of the watermelon. And some of us will be rich without ever being more than a paycheck ahead
of the game."
Today I am grateful for comfort.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS:
Praying online in a support group may help women with breast cancer cope with the disease more effectively, a new study shows.
Dr. Bret Shaw of the University of Wisconsin-Madison and colleagues found that breast cancer patients who used a higher percentage
of religion-related words in their communications with an Internet support group had lower levels of negative emotions, better
functional well-being, and more confidence in their ability to deal with their illness.
"Breast cancer patients who want to pray can use online support groups as a place to cope with their illness with other
people going through similar situations," Shaw told Reuters. "Our data suggest that this might make you feel better." click here to read more on cnn.com
Wednesday January 10, 2007
I saw Dick Hoyt interviewed several months ago. His story is an amazing example of parental love, loyalty,
and dedication. Today was the first time I had seen the incredible YouTube video compilation, and it brought me to tears.
First, the background story--an excerpt from a Sports Illustrated story written by Rick Reilly in June, 2005:
Eighty-five times Dick Hoyt has pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him
26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the
handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on
a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving
him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life" Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old.
"Put him in an Institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took
him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way,"
Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."
"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a
computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to
communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School
organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want To do that."
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five
miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore For two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore"
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into
such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair
competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into
the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?"
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a
triathlon? Still, Dick tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old
stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets
seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000
starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't
keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century."
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that
one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've
died 15 years ago." So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in
Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking
race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
"The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once."
Today I am grateful for the Hoyts.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 9, 2007
I believe...
I believe every person has within themselves inexhaustible reserves of potential they have never even come close to
realizing.
I believe each person has far more intelligence than they have ever used.
I believe each person is more creative than he or she has ever imagined.
I believe the greatest achievements of your life lie ahead of you.
I believe.
Today I am grateful for SNOW!
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 8, 2007
(baptism photos have been edited into yesterday's post)
My Mom saved a lot of my baby clothes, as well as a few items that were childhood "favorites".
I was pleased to see she had kept my FAVORITE well worn, much loved t-shirt. Abigail models the shirt Hannah gets in on the gig
Today I am grateful for happy childhood memories.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 7, 2007
Our first Sunday into the New Year, and we couldn't have started it any better. Both of my girls were
baptized this evening. It was a special blessing to have my Dad be the one to do this for them.
Both girls were excited, but Hannah vocally expressed her emotion more than her sister. When it was
time, we left the auditorium and made our way to the baptistry. Partially down the hallway, she looked up at me and
smiled with delight. "I could just scream my head off!" she exclaimed.
Hannah went first, and on the way out she giggled loud enough for the congregation to hear, "That's so warm, I could just stay in
there!"
Abigail was next, and flashed a smile to everyone. She clasped Poppy's arm and what little fear she had was gone.
Today I am grateful for two smiling girls' baptism.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 6, 2007
"A man can do only what he can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day."
Today I am grateful for rest.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS: Highlights from the 29th Annual San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium
Researchers, advocates and scientists from around the globe gathered December 14-17, 2006 at the 29th annual San Antonio
Breast Cancer Symposium to present new information about the latest breast cancer research.
Risk Reduction – Breast Cancer Incidence Drops in 2003
Researchers reported a 7 percent decrease in breast cancer incidence in the United States in 2003. Learn what may have
contributed to the decline
Prevention and Detection – Can Breast Cancer Be Prevented? Yes
A series of presentations at the 29th Annual San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium (SABCS) discussed the feasibility of preventing
breast cancer. The response to the question “Can breast cancer be prevented was “Yes.” read more here
Nutrition – Dietary Fat’s Role in Breast Cancer
Reducing dietary fat intake may decrease the chance of a breast cancer recurrence in women who have previously been treated
for early-stage breast cancer, especially women who have hormone receptor-negative breast cancer. read more here
Latest Scientific Developments
Researchers are evaluating a new biological agent that shows promise in treating inflammatory breast cancer (IBC). read more here
Susan G. Komen Foundation
Friday January 5, 2007
This is dedicated to my Mom. click to view
Today I am grateful for text messaging fun.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday January 4, 2007
It's winter. It's January. It's 60 degrees outside! This is blooming under my bedroom
window!
Today I am grateful for fig newtons.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday January 3, 2007
The girls returned to school today, after a two week Christmas break. Hannah came home wearing
this.
Today I am grateful for camera fun.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 2, 2007
Rules for a Perfect Day
Just for today...
I will try to live and delight in the reality of being alive. My past is forever gone, my future an uncertainty, so I will
be happy and thankful for each moment.
I will not allow negative input into my mind...happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy.
I will be thankful to God for my health, my loved ones, and my country. I will also be thankful for any pain in
crisis that helps me grow because God has said, be thankful in all things.
I will take care of my body, realizing the importance of the words moderation and balance, knowing that as I bring my flesh
under control, how much easier it will be to control my will and my actions.
I will treat everyone I meet today the way I would like to be treated. I will strive to have them like themselves better
when they’re with me.
I will avoid gossip, jealousy, and negative thinking. Most people don’t think about what they think about. Today, I will
make a conscious effort to hold loving and beautiful thoughts in my mind.
I will write down my priorities; thinking of my loved ones and my responsibilities. I may not get everything done, but I will
do the most productive thing possible at every given moment.
I will strive to humble myself before others, controlling my ego and making other people feel important.
I will spend time in study, learning how to better serve my fellow man. I know my growth in all areas is in direct proportion
to the service I give to others.
I will not take rejection personally. I am first and foremost in the people business and, thus, realize they can only reject
my proposal and not me. I will keep on keepin’ on.
I will spend time in prayer, asking God to let others see the light of His shining love through me.
-- Tom Hopkins, 1976
"I am acutely aware that you have not elected me as your President by your ballots, so I ask you to confirm me with your
prayers." -- Gerald R. Ford
Today I am grateful for American patriotism.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 1, 2007
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."
Our Crew has been discussing many options for 2007. After five years of traveling to Washington DC (three times), Philadelphia PA,
and Charlotte NC-- participating in the (former) Avon 3Day Walk, Komen 3Day Walk and Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, we have had many people inquire
about how they can be involved in their own area. We are considering many avenues, and multiple events. The German Race For The Cure will continue
with Alex as our amazing team leader. As details come together, I'll share them with you all!
Today I am grateful for new beginnings.
Thank you God, for another day.
