Below, you may view my personal journal for 2006 along with my preparation for and participation in the Avon Walk for Breast
Cancer, Charlotte.
For my complete story of breast cancer during pregnancy, click here
To view other years journals and return to the main page, click here
Carolynn's Crew Charlotte, Avon Walk For Breast Cancer:
Carolynn Johnson
Kelle Merritt
Diane Jones
Penny Muten, Team Project Coordinator
Carolynn's Crew Germany, Race For The Cure:
Alex Mamet, Team Captain
Michael Mamet
Martina Knaak
Janine Knaak
Wolfgang Knaak
Niklas Knaak
Pascal Mamet
Cedric Mamet
Tristan Mamet
Wolf-Dieter Metzke
Iris Benzing
Kerstin Harris
THE JOURNAL most recent entries at the top
SITE FEATURE:
GOOGLE SEARCH OPTIONS are on all pages within the site. Not only can you use Google as a general
search engine, you can use it to find topics within the website itself. This will enable you to locate specific entries and subject
matter within seconds.
CLICK PINK LINKS TO VIEW PHOTOS, ETC
Sunday December 31, 2006
Another year draws to a close. As we can all agree, time passes faster as we age. In looking back at the year, I see it as a
year of change. A year of shifting priorities. A year of physical trial and yet a year of triumph as well.
"Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action."
Today I am grateful for settled peace.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 30, 2006
We spent Christmas Evening at Mom and Dad's house. Here's a shot of the girls and their cousins (Corey & Kristen), also known as
the grandchildren.
Hannah-ism: I always tell the girls that I love them "all the way to the moon and back" by way of a little song I made up.
Recently she started trying to think of things that would measure her love even greater.
Hannah: "I love you past Pluto and that's past the moon!"
Hannah: "I love you past the numbers and they never end!"
Me: "I love you more!"
Today I was given
this note.
Translation: I ♥ you so much that I can't explain it to you. I love you.
And on the side: Write a note back
Today I am grateful for love notes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 29, 2006
"I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes."
Today I am grateful for taking a fifteen minute rest.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 28, 2006
"I do believe it is possible to create, even without ever writing a word or painting a picture, by simply molding one's
inner life. And that too is a deed."
Today I am grateful for honesty.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 27, 2006 Hannah-ism: I sense an ulterior motive here...
Hannah: (to Abigail) "Let me see your foot. You have a beautiful foot."
Hannah: (again to Abigail) "Let me see your hand. You have a beautiful hand."
Hannah: (to me) "Mommy, you are just beautiful all over!"
Today I am grateful for "love emergencies".
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 26, 2006
"Attempt easy tasks as if they were difficult, and difficult as if they were easy; in the one case that confidence may not fall asleep,
in the other that it may not be dismayed."
Today I am grateful for smiling children.
Thank you God, for another day.
SITE UPDATE:
I regularly review our website statistics, and am happy to see that we have readers from all across the United States and many
countries across the world. From small towns to metropolitan areas, a variety of people come to visit, many each and every day. Several find their way through search engines such
as Google, MSN, etc. Those search statistics also provide the location of our visitors as well (just like with any site you visit), and also the search term they use to find Pink Ribbon Miracle.
This helps us tailor the site based on what information is most desired. Over the past year, people have "searched" for breast cancer information, and found this site. I am thankful that we continue to
be a resource for those in need.
There are some of you that continue to always use a search engine for "Pink Ribbon Miracle". Consider bookmarking
www.pinkribbonmiracle.com---
it will save you some time and doesn't change any site statistic. We still get results from all of our site "hits", and you can find us
faster.
Monday December 25, 2006
Today I am grateful for the birth of Jesus.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 24, 2006
As families come together today, and children are tucked safely into bed, many eagerly awaiting Santa's arrival---it's a time to be thankful.
To all of you who faithfully read this site, I thank you. Your immense support does not go unappreciated.
Today I am grateful for family time and the Trent version of "Deal or No Deal". (Hi Poppy!)
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 23, 2006
"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence."
Today I am grateful for hot tea to soothe a sore throat.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 22, 2006
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched...they must be felt with the heart."
I adore the wonder of Santa through a child's eyes.
Hannah-ism: After looking at that picture of herself with Santa, she started laughing.
Hannah: "Look Mommy! The way I put my hair behind my ears and pushed them out, I look like an elf. It's cool!!"
Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 21, 2006
"You can’t think your way into acting positively, but you can act your way into thinking positively."
Today I am grateful for hanging out with Mom and Dad.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 20, 2006
I'm now on medication along with Abigail. I thought it was probably inevitable that this would happen. Hopefully we'll be on the
mend in time to really enjoy the holiday.
It's All Abigail: I walked into the office last night, to find a gift from
Abigail. The words on the outside mean more than the contents. That's my girl.
Today I am grateful for Bath & Body Works lotion.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 19, 2006
Abigail's fever continues, and her throat has become increasingly sore. Hopefully the meds will begin to take effect in the next 24
hours. So far Hannah and Frank are not showing any signs of illness, but by tonight my throat is beginning to hurt. We'll see what tomorrow
brings.
Today I am grateful for my annual Christmas shopping trip with Dad.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 18, 2006
Abigail is sick again. Yesterday she developed a fever and chills. Motrin didn't take the edge off of the fever, and she was awake in the
night. I kept her home from school and before noon her condition took a down turn. She became listless, her speech slurred and her eyes
were very weak. She kept saying her head was so hot, and at the same time she was feeling so cold that her teeth were literally
chattering. Her body was aching and her head hurt. I made an appointment and took her to the doctor.
Driving down, she asked if there was a doctor any closer, as she continued to moan. By the time she was in Dr. Thomson's office,
her temperature had reached 104.5°. He felt she was showing every symptom of the flu, but a glance in her throat also revealed
a lot of inflammation and some blistering. (Abigail had said her throat was only slightly sore.) He did a swab for strep and
also a nasal swab for the flu. Both tests were rushed stat through the lab. In the meantime, they gave her a strong dose of
Tylenol to try and bring the fever down.
As we waited for the test results, my big girl curled up in my lap and slept. At that moment, my heart broke for her pain. It's been
a very long time since I have seen her so sick, so vulnerable. I stroked her hair, and watched her sleep.
The test results came back, and she has strep again. That's three times since October. She does not have the flu, and for that I
am very grateful. She has a stronger antibiotic this time, and she is taking both Motrin and Tylenol to break her fever. By this
evening, she was feeling cooler, although her temperature is still elevated.
Today I am grateful for a beautiful eight year old who still finds comfort on Mommy's lap.
I'm also grateful for the comfort I feel as she lays there.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 17, 2006
"To keep your character intact you cannot stoop to filthy acts. It makes it easier to stoop the next time."
Today I am grateful for a wonderful Christmas play.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 16, 2006
After our nightly devotion, Hannah said the most important sentence we could ever want to hear.
"I want to ask Jesus to come into my heart."
Today I am grateful for the gift of salvation, so simple a child can understand.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 15, 2006
"Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to
count the hours, but give the time when you are asked."
Today I am grateful for wrapped presents under the tree.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS:
• U.S. breast cancer rates declined 7.2 percent in 2003
• Experts believe drop is due to reduced use of hormone replacement therapy
• Drop means about 14,000 fewer cases were actually diagnosed
In a startling turnaround, breast cancer rates in the United States dropped dramatically in 2003, and experts said they believe
it is because many women stopped taking hormone pills.
The 7.2 percent decline came a year after a big federal study linked menopause hormones to a higher risk of breast cancer,
heart disease and other problems. Within months, millions of women stopped taking estrogen and progestin pills.
A new analysis of federal cancer statistics, presented Thursday at a breast cancer conference in Texas, revealed the drop in
tumors.
About 200,000 cases of breast cancer had been expected in 2003; the drop means that about 14,000 fewer cases were actually
diagnosed.
Because breast cancer takes years to form, experts think that withdrawing hormones mostly caused small tumors that had been
growing to stop or shrink, making them no longer detectable on mammograms. Whether this is true or will result in fewer cases
over the long run will take more time to tell.
The next set of cancer statistics, for 2004, is due out in April.
Thursday December 14, 2006
It was a cold morning when Hannah's team was scheduled for team pictures. Unfortunately, not many members came out. They were quite a
motley crew but had lots of fun.
Meet Coach William and the Smurfs
and the soccer sisters.
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organizations—-the American Cancer Society®, the Make-A-Wish Foundation®, and the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.®. Bounty Cards That Count
Today I am grateful for sweatshirts.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 13, 2006
"So many people go out and spend money trying to get tattoos or piercings to try and represent something while at the same time
so many women carry these battle scars of growth and maternity. It's something that nature gives women almost like a rite of
passage to be carried proudly like tribal markings."
Today I am grateful for acceptance.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 12, 2006
"Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit."
Today I am grateful for a completed shopping list.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 11, 2006
It's this time of year.
My Dad and husband love Ferrero Rocher. It's a running joke in our family--we all call them "Furry Roaches" instead of the
proper french pronunciation. We've done it for so long, it's almost impossible for us to use the real name!
Today I am grateful for family fun.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 10, 2006
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has
been opened for us."
Today I am grateful for Abigail's proud role in the youth choir.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 9, 2006
"Are you going up to heaven with me?" --Bobby D. Steele
Today I am grateful for his successful surgery.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 8, 2006
Our unseasonably warm temperatures fell rapidly yesterday and by evening everything was covered in a blanket of snow. Today was
our first snow day from school. The main tree is now up and decorated, although a little later in the season than I would have
liked. It felt great to have a day that I did not have to go anywhere.
It's All Abigail: "I just gotta be me"
I later discovered, while we were eating breakfast that she had even more layers than I thought, including two pair of
pants! Meet (for lack of a better word) Alternative Abigail.
Today I am grateful for staying inside on a cold day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 7, 2006
"There's a lot of things to think about, but nothing to worry about."
Hannah-ism: I've always let my girls make their own clothing choices on days where we are just staying at home.
They also do their own thing by decorating their rooms, on the bulletin boards and doors. It's fun to let them express
themselves and see how they interpret what is "cool". I'm not sure where Hannah got her inspiration today.
Words won't work for this one, it has to be a visual--- meet Hip Hop Hannah.
Today I am grateful for creative expression.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 6, 2006
In July, I posted some startling statistics on childhood obesity. As a follow-up: For the first time in history, our children's
life expectancy is shorter than ours. Please, if you are a parent with children at home, take care of their health. Monitor
the foods they eat, the foods you buy. Too many children are being set up to fail and suffer from diabetes and heart issues. School cafeterias
mostly have terrible food choices, and PE is quickly becoming a thing of the past. As parents, we need to affect what we can.
Although I was small and active as a child and teenager, I gained a tremendous amount of weight in my twenties, simply by choosing to eat unhealthy, quick foods
because I was always on the go. By the time I turned thirty, I weighed 210 pounds. Although I lost about forty pounds, I gained again and found myself at
203 pounds the day I discovered I was pregnant with my first child. Once pregnant, I made a decision that I would not allow my
child to suffer any embarrassment by having an overweight Mom. I also didn't want her to ever deal with weight issues herself. (In hindsight, I clearly see that my entire community is made up of mostly
overweight adults) I changed my eating habits, and left the hospital after giving birth weighing less than when I first conceived.
In addition, I suffered gall bladder attacks during my pregnancy and had surgery when Abigail was only seven weeks old. Over the following months,
I continued to lose weight, as my only focus was eating foods that were good for my body. At no time did I have a goal weight or
size. Those were goals that would not help me maintain long term. It had to be a focus on health.
After a second pregnancy, cancer, chemo, and ten months of tamoxifen (I came off of it when I ended up having to have a hysterectomy), I had gained about thirty pounds.
A few more adjustments in my nutritional approach and I was able to lose that weight and a bit more. Today, at age 43, I am more than eighty pounds lighter than my highest non-pregnant weight.
My goal is to remain healthy for myself and my family. I want to model the eating behavior that my children need to grow up with. I've done this their
entire life, and it has been one of the best decisions I ever made. They understand healthy eating. I am happy when I provide my children choices,
and they choose the healthy option. They also know that portion size and moderation is very important. Total restriction on
items can backfire long term. Children will want sweets. Why not make them as special treat, but not a daily ritual? We talk about foods that are good for the inside of their bodies. Not once have we discussed size, weight, or appearance. We have to be careful to focus on health, and never body
images like those portrayed by our media. Teen anorexic numbers are on the rise, and our daughters need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves.
It's not too late to start. As a parent, we are responsible for keeping our children safe. That includes making sure we feed them responsibly.
It's never too late. And if that means you have to change your own habits, it can only help you, too. The life you save may be your childs.
Today I am grateful for healthy children.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 5, 2006
"None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone."
Today I am grateful for laughter.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 4, 2006
Since soccer started late this year, basketball quickly followed. Abigail started practice last week. (Hannah has another year
to wait for this sport because six is the minimum age to play. Tball and soccer start at age four.) Between practices, games, and Church,
it looks like we'll have something going on every night until mid-January. Right now she is scheduled for eleven games. Hannah with her U6 soccer trophy for her team, The Smurfs Abigail and her U10 soccer trophy for The Mutiny
Today I am grateful for early morning shopping without crowds.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 3, 2006
Eleven years ago today, I had my first date with the man that is now my soul mate, my husband, the father of my two children, and the
only man in the world I could give all of myself to, freely. I love you, Angel.
Hannah-ism: We were playing the game "I Spy" together.
Hannah: "I spy, with my little eye, something that is pink-ish, and purple-ish, and blonde-ish."
Me: "Pink-ish, purple-ish, and blonde-ish?!?!"
Hannah: (with a giggle) "Your hair!!"
Today I am grateful for a lit Christmas tree.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 2, 2006
"The charity that is a trifle to us can be precious to others."
Today I am grateful for the fireplace.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 1, 2006
It's time for a follow-up with Dr. Fulp, my gastroenterologist. We are trying to work out a phone consultation rather than
making the three hour drive. I have definitely seen improvement and my stomach doesn't hurt every single day anymore.
I have made a combination of changes that seem to be working in my favor:
I take a normal multi-vitamin, but no longer take mega doses of any vitamin whatsoever.
I switched from Actonel, the once per week osteoporosis medication, to Boniva, taken once per month.
I do not take supplemental calcium. (This is far from ideal, but necessary in my case)
I dropped the daily fibromyalgia medication, and now take pain medication on an as needed basis, or if I know I am in a situation
that will cause a flare-up. I also make sure I get at least fifteen minutes in the afternoon to put my feet up and rest. Lifestyle
changes are key to managing fibromyalgia. I've missed Curves recently for many reasons, but will be returning soon.
Although I believe that moderation is the key to daily eating, my stomach has more limitations than the average person, and
there are foods I just simply cannot tolerate. I was already a healthy eater, and I am now also on a very high fiber diet. Many of the
other dietary changes that were required were already part of my healthy eating plan anyway. (For example, I don't eat fried foods)
I do eat at least three fruits per day, but I have yet to find a vegetable I can tolerate. This is also not ideal, but it works.
Breakfast is usually Fiber One, followed by fruit. At lunch, I eat albacore tuna on whole wheat, double fiber bread, with light mayo. Dinner
varies. I haven't had red meat in many months. I eat an average of five to six times per day, rather than three larger meals. Normally I eat
something every three hours, and nothing after 6:30pm or so. In addition, I still log my foods daily, to make sure I am getting an
adequate amount of calories, as well as making sure I am meeting other nutritional requirements.
I still have bad days. I still have problems, but I am now at a place where it is more manageable than before. I will never be able to just eat freely,
of anything that I want. I accept that without regrets. The key now is to slowly test small amounts of other foods, to see if I
can build a tolerance and expand the variety of foods I eat. Traveling is difficult, and I usually just carry a bag of "my"
foods with me. My system seems to be very sensitive to any change in routine.
Today I am grateful for no longer staring at the clock nightly, waiting for it to be "late enough" to just go to bed and sleep off the pain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 30, 2006
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
Today I am grateful for this.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 29, 2006
"Our achievements are shaped by the terrain of our lives and the strength of the foundations we set. In building the life
we've imagined, we must be true to our beliefs, dare to be ethical, and strive to be honorable. For integrity is the highest
ground to which we can aspire."
Today I am grateful for Tristan's successful surgery.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 28, 2006
The new Charlotte's Web will be coming to theatres December 15. All of the current press reminds me of the original release, in 1973.
I was ten years old. During my childhood, I only saw two movies...Charlotte's Web and Benji.
My very first life memory of feeling a deep sadness, or hurt, was when I saw Charlotte's Web. As much as I liked the movie, I was wounded
that Charlotte died in the end. I can clearly remember the hollow feeling in my chest, and I carried that with me for many days.
Today I am grateful for experiencing little sadness in my youth.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 27, 2006
Mother Nature must be confused. It was almost 70 degrees today. We have had warm enough temperatures lately that the phlox are beginning
to bloom, and an white anemone unfolded itself as well. I actually walked through the front on Sunday afternoon in short
sleeves. Thankfully, the pond fish seem to realize it continues to be time for them to still themselves and not come up for
food.
Today I am grateful for surprise hugs.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 26, 2006
"One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful."
"To our dream weavers, soulful singers, and ice-cream eaters. To our hope-filled healers, freedom fighters, boundary breakers
and dance all nighters. To our laugh out louders, mercy givers, band-aid bearers and peaceful wishers. We celebrate with you,
our survivor sisters."
Hannah-ism: Hannah was playing with an assortment of small plastic animals, patiently balancing them to
stand on the carpet.
Hannah: "This is a volcano. I have to put a fence around it in case it explodes."
Me: "Good idea."
Hannah: (showing me a larger plastic zebra) This is a Daddy zebra. He drinks from the volcano."
Me: "That's one pretty tough zebra!"
Hannah: "I know. That's why all the others are watching him." amazing Daddy zebra the crowd observes
Today I am grateful for a child's imagination.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for the never-ending awe of nature's beauty.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 24, 2006
"The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: 'If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?' But... the good
Samaritan reversed the question: 'If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?' "
Praying for you, Mike.
Today I am grateful for 9-1-1.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 23, 2006
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I am thankful for so many things, among them--salvation, my spared life, my family, a warm home, food to eat, and the many blessings
that we often take for granted. click to view my card for you
Today I am grateful for waking up in a cozy bed.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for little girls' singing voices.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 21, 2006
"The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labour is immense."
Today I am grateful for healing.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 20, 2006
While on chemo, I chose not to wear scarves, hats, or a wig. (I did wear a knit cap to bed, because I was often cold at night)
I didn't feel that I needed to hide my hair loss, or disguise my disease. I acknowledge that not all women feel the same way.
I needed to do what was right for me...and that was to be up front and open. I felt no shame, nor responsibility for my illness.
I am looking forward to receiving this book which features women photographed beautifully, with their bald heads exposed.
click image above to view book details from Amazon.com
"Turning Heads: Portraits of Grace, Inspiration, and Possibilities"
From Publishers Weekly:
The spark for this collection of gorgeous and inspiring photographs of women who've become bald from chemotherapy was film
and television writer Hunsicker's initial reaction to her own cancer diagnosis: the fear of becoming bald trumped her fears
of mere death. The resulting book is powerful medicine, and not just for women undergoing cancer treatment. Shot by 59 leading
photographers, such as Duane Michals, the book features women of all shapes, sizes, colors and nationalities, and they
illustrate an important point: their subjects' distinctive talents, interests, identities and personalities. In these bold
and imaginative photos, a Florida Supreme Court Justice presides over a court session, a designer lounges astride an elephant
in fuchsia formal wear, a doctor's face grins from the center of a rising moon. Short statements accompanying the photographs
are equally eloquent. Model/writer Sharon Fryda Blynn describes overhearing three young men making fun of her during a commuter
train ride. As they exit, one of them says, "God forgive me if this woman has cancer." She tells him and witnesses his shame.
"I was thinking," she writes, "just for that brief second, I pushed a button... so that... the next time they see a bald woman,
they might... smile and say, 'You look beautiful today,' and make her feel better."
Today I am grateful for the liberating experience of being bald.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS:The FDA is allowing silicone breast implants to be sold again, 14 years after they were removed from the
market by the same agency over questions of safety. The approved silicone implants are made by two companies, Inamed Aesthetics,
now a part of Allergan, and Mentor.
The FDA says these implants are approved "for breast reconstruction in women of all ages and breast augmentation in women ages
22 and older."
Sunday November 19, 2006
"Pain is a part of being alive, and we need to learn that. Pain does not last forever, nor is it necessarily unbeatable, and
we need to be taught that."
Hannah-ism: Twice a year, we go through both girls closets--clothing and toys. They have been taught
charitable giving. There are children who need toys, children who have much less than we do. Today Hannah started going
through her closet. When I walked in, there was a mound of toys on the floor.
Me: "Is this what you are giving to other children?"
Hannah: "Yep."
Me: "Wow, that's a lot. Are you sure you want to give this much?"
Hannah: "Mommy, I have a kind, giving heart. Kids might not have these things like me."
Me: "That's very nice of you, Hannah. It makes Jesus happy, too."
Hannah: "Can I go through my whole room, to find more stuff?"
Me: "Sure, honey. Whatever you want to do."
Today I am grateful for unselfish young hearts.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 18, 2006
PRE-CHRISTMAS CLEARANCE in the PRM store! Items start at just 49¢! Breast cancer pins, jewelry, keychains, believe bands and more!
Also available, Pink Ribbon Miracle Miniature shoe (by Raine for Just the Right Shoe), long sleeve t-shirts, sweatshirts, and embroidered denim--great for gift giving. click here to visit store
"Daughters"
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
(John Mayer)
check it out at iTunes
Today I am grateful for black cherry cough drops.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 17, 2006
It was inevitable. Another trip to the pediatrician. This time for Abigail. In addition to all of Hannah's
symptoms, she has had a sore throat for two days. They've done another culture to see if strep has returned. (We all
had it about five weeks ago) I already feel the nag of those same symptoms myself, with the exception of pink eye.
Today I am grateful for hot tea.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 16, 2006
"Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do,
they never get around to do what they want to do."
Today I am grateful for motherhood.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 15, 2006
After a visit to the doctor this morning, Hannah has pink eye and a viral infection, complete with congestion and a terrible cough.
Three medicines later, and she cannot return to school until Friday at the earliest.
Hannah-ism:
Me: "Let me clean your eyes, ok?"
Hannah: "It's just crumbs, Mommy."
Me: "It's because you have pink eye and we want to get you better."
Hannah: "It's crumbs. They live on my eyelashes like it's their house!"
Today I am grateful for Dr. Thomson.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 14, 2006
"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision,
with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the
errand."
Today I am grateful for Enya's Celts.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 13, 2006
Nothing but raw talent. No photoshop, no tweaking. A flashlight in the darkness and a lot of talent: Josh Ellis, photographer
Today I am grateful for a friend who will know exactly what will make me smile.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 12, 2006
"To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything."
It's All Abigail: We were eating Sunday breakfast together, as we do every week. (Wheat pancakes and muffins)
The oven door had been left slightly open, after the muffins were finished baking. Sable, our curious cat, walked toward the
oven.
Frank: "Sable, don't get near there. You'll get burned, silly cat."
Abigail: "Yeah, Sable, don't go near there. You could turn into....(long pause) cat meat."
Me: (as we are all laughing hysterically) "CAT MEAT?!?!?"
Abigail: "Well, what else could it be? Turkeys turn into turkey, fish turn into fish sticks. Cats must be cat meat, there's
nothing else it could be!"
Today I am grateful for muddy soccer days.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 11, 2006
"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave."
Today I am grateful for school children being taught to respect our veterans.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 10, 2006
"Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity would, without this comfort,
be insupportable."
Today I am grateful for late season raspberries.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 9, 2006
"Do not resent growing old, many are denied the privilege."
Today I am grateful for the appreciation of age.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 8, 2006
On September 28 I placed a quote in my journal that was actually from a song I love called "Proud". As I was
going through the Avon Walk pictures today, I was thinking about special moments from that weekend. Perhaps one of
the most powerful for me was one I didn't write in it's entirety, until now.
On Sunday, we were making our final steps of the two day, 26.2 mile walk. Rounding the corner to the stadium, we could hear the
cheers from the crowd and also the loud music from the stage...awaiting our arrival. Just as I made the last turn, "Proud" was
blasting from the speakers, specifically this line- "What have you done today to make you feel proud?". I looked at Kelle and told
her I had just placed that very quote in my journal, three weeks previous. I will never forget that very moment, and how the music
and lyrics touched the core of my soul.
If you aren't familiar with this song, I highly recommend a visit to iTunes for a listen. Here are the lyrics:
PROUD
by Heather Small
I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
Still so many answers I don't know
Realise that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
We need a change
Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising
We need a change
So do it today
'Cause I can see a clear horizon
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
'Cause you could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today
You could be so many people
Just make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
*also used as the theme song on NBC's The Biggest Loser*
Today I am grateful for powerful lyrics.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 7, 2006
"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision,
with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the
errand."
Exercise your right, let your voice be heard...VOTE!
Today I am grateful for Frank's day off.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 6, 2006
"Truth is often eclipsed but never extinguished."
Today I am grateful for MooCow Guy's surprise phone call.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 5, 2006
Another year older. I was greeted this morning with wheat pancakes (my favorite) and Frank had even cooked a heart into
the top one as a special treat. Abigail gave me two very special coupons: birthday treat one birthday treat two
Mom and Dad took me out for lunch, then it was time for a quick change and we headed to the soccer fields. Both girls
played games today. sister watches Abigail play
Saturday November 4, 2006
"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming."
Today I am grateful for creative little minds making paper clothing.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 3, 2006
2007 Walk Dates are now official! 2007 Avon Walk for Breast Cancer
Washington DC May 5-6, 2007
Boston May 19-20, 2007
Chicago June 2-3, 2007
Denver June 23-24, 2007
San Francisco July 7-8, 2007
Los Angeles September 15-16, 2007
New York October 6-7, 2007
Charlotte October 20-21, 2007
2007 Komen 3Day Walk for Breast Cancer
Boston August 3-5, 2007
Chicago August 10-12, 2007
Cleveland August 17-19, 2007
Twin Cities August 24-26, 2007
Seattle September 7-9, 2007
Michigan September 28-30, 2007
Philadelphia October 5-7, 2007
Atlanta October 12-14, 2007
Tampa Bay October 19-21, 2007
Dallas/Ft. Worth October 26-28, 2007
Arizona November 2-4, 2007
San Diego November 9-11, 2007
Today I am grateful for children who ask to go to Revival, instead of asking to stay home.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 2, 2006
Xerox is sponsoring a site, www.letssaythanks.com,
where you can pick out a thank you card-- and they will print and send it to a soldier who is currently serving in Iraq.
Please send a card. It's FREE, and it only takes a moment.
Regardless of politics, regardless of pro- or anti- war sentiment, our troops need
our support. Won't you help?
INSPIRATION~ Shaya's true story:
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children,
the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be
forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated
staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside
influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son,
Shaya, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things
as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shaya, physically and
mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true
human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat
that child."
Then he told the following story:
Shaya and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shaya knew were
playing baseball. Shaya asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shaya's
father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shaya on their
team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play,
it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be
accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
Shaya's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not
expecting much) if Shaya could play. The boy looked around for guidance and
said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I
guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth
inning."
Shaya struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a
team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in
his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the
bottom of the eighth inning, Shaya's team scored a few runs but was still
behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shaya put on a glove and
played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was
obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from
ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the
ninth inning, Shaya's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases
loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shaya was scheduled to be
next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shaya bat and give away their chance to win the
game?
Surprisingly, Shaya was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but
impossible because Shaya didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much
less connect with the ball.
However, as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the
other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shaya's life, moved
in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shaya could at least make
contact. The first pitch came and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. The
pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shaya.
As the pitch came in, Shaya swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball
right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and
could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been
out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out
of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started
yelling, "Shaya, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shaya ever
run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline,
wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shaya
awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the
base. By the time Shaya rounded towards second base, the right fielder had
the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to
be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the
second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so
he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's
head. Shaya ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him
circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, "Shaya, Shaya, Shaya, all the Way Shaya"
Shaya reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by
turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!
Shaya, run to third!"
As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on
their feet screaming, "Shaya, run home! Run home!" Shaya ran to home, stepped
on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the
game for his team.
"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,
"the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity
into this world".
Shaya didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never
forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and
seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
Today I am grateful for belief in the human spirit of kindness.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 1, 2006
"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
Today I am grateful for a loyal friend.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 31, 2006
As the sky grows dark
and the moon glows bright,
As strange creatures and critters
appear in the night,
As the goblins growl
and the werewolves whine,
Hope that Halloween
sends a CHILL up your spine!
Today I am grateful for daughters who understand.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 30, 2006
"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." :)
Although not the case, I still like the quote. A week off and then hopefully we'll come out on top
in the next one!
Today I am grateful for sisters.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 29, 2006
Are you ready for some football?
Or maybe U6 soccer?
Hannah-ism: I was sitting on the couch, talking on the telephone. The phone was at my left ear, and
Hannah entered the room. Quietly she climbed up on the couch and moved closer and closer to my right side. Soon she had
her ear against mine, the opposite side of my head from the telephone.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Hannah: "Trying to listen and see who you are talking to!"
It's All Abigail: I was in the laundry room, when the washer lid fell and hit the edge of my thumb. I called out
"ouch" loudly. No one from my family came to check on me, as I continued to repeat "ouch!". Finally, Abigail came to see
what was going on.
Abigail: "What happened, mommy?"
Me: "The washer lid fell and the caught my thumb, right under the nail."
Abigail: "Oh. That's too bad you aren't a starfish. You could just grow a new arm."
Today I am grateful for this face.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday October 28, 2006
"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do."
Today I am grateful for yogurt raisins.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 27, 2006
Sunday's visit to "see" Sam Mills:
I have always been a Carolina Panthers fan, especially since I lived in Charlotte two different times in my life,
and was there when the Panthers were an expansion team. When Sam Mills was diagnosed with cancer, I felt a connection with him, and sent him a gift
and letter. He was kind enough to telephone me, and I will be forever grateful for that conversation, and the gift I received
days later. I cannot put into words how I feel about this strong, amazing, caring, giving man.
Today I am grateful for blowing leaves.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday October 26, 2006
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
Today I am grateful for Larry Mull.
Thank you God, for another day.
CORPORATE FUNDRAISER NEWS: It's still Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
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Cartier Roadster
Chelsea Paper Notes and Cards
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Coach Watch
Conair Hair Dryer
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Danskin
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Donna Karan Cosmetics
Dyson Vacuum Cleaners
Eleni's Cookies
Estée Lauder
Everlast Worldwide, Inc.
For Eyes
Fox River Mills
Freshpair
General Mills
Godiva Chocolates
HoMedics
In Great Taste Cookbook
Joluka
Jo Malone
K2 Women's Skis
Karen Neuburger
Robert Kaufman Quilt Fabrics
Keds
Kimberly-Clark
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LF Stores
Lifetime Brands
LoveCures
Macy's Frango® Mints
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Melitta Pink Coffemaker
Michelle Roy Designs
Northland Cranberry Juice
Origins
Pack It Up Travel Essentials
Pilates For Pink DVD
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Prescriptives
Privo
Rowenta
The Sak
Salton Wafflemaker
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Jay Strongwater Bookmark
Taylor Precision Products
Tommy Hilfiger Toiletries
Travelon
Trudeau
Tumi
Van Cleef & Arpels
Wilson Sporting Goods click here for product information
Wednesday October 25, 2006
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.
For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching
for different ways or truer answers."
Today I am grateful for sunshine.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 24, 2006
"When you get into a tight place and it seems that you can't go on, hold on — for that's just the place and
the time that the tide will turn."
Today I am grateful for camaraderie.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 23, 2006
Today we spent the day hanging out and catching up, as well as resting sore muscles. Diane went to the doctor
for a sinus infection, and Kelle will be leaving very early tomorrow morning. And by the way, it is officially snowing here!
Today I am grateful for little girls snuggling around Kelle during nightly devotion.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 22, 2006
Frank, the girls and I got up at 6am. I was a bit stiff and sore, but didn't feel overly fatigued. I didn't want to
over commit and risk not being able to attend closing, but decided I would go to camp and start the route for the day. I could
stop at any point, and then meet up later. The route was opening at 7:30, so we headed out and arrived at 7:20. I had called
Kelle and Diane and met them at the camp exit.
What a difference a day makes. The early morning temperature was a bit warmer than yesterday (still quite cold), but it was raining! I had not packed
well for this walk, because I truly believed that one mile would be my limit. I did bring my waist pack, thankfully. I only
brought one pair of socks for each day, no rain gear, no body glide, no "normal walk required supplies". I did have a nylon
hooded jacket that was fleece lined, and decided to wear that. I had not brought a ball cap, so the hood was a necessity.
The first stop was 1.7 miles, and off we went, with Frank driving by our side.
As I walked, my muscles loosened and I felt pretty good. It was uncomfortable to have my peripheral vision blocked by the hood,
but I had no choice. Frank drove ahead, and by now we were accustomed to playing "Where's Waldo", trying to spot Frank out. I had walked just
over a mile when I felt a familiar pain on the top of my left foot. I had experienced it a couple years before, but once I switched
to Asics I hadn't had it happen since then. We stopped at a lot where Frank was parked, and I re-laced my left shoe. Thankfully,
my salesperson for the shoes a couple years ago had taught me some lacing techniques to compensate for various issues. During this strop, Frank also became
personal physician as he ran into Walgreen's and bought more cough medicine for Diane. Dr. Frank <--click to view
We continued on, and I still felt the pain, but not as intense. The bruise was already there, but I believed in time the pain
would lessen. Shortly after, we were at rest stop one, 1.7 miles down. I MADE IT.
After another slight adjustment with my shoe, we started out again. The rain was a downer, our feet were soaked, but it was good
to feel the outside air.
3.9 miles. I MADE IT.
5.9 miles. I MADE IT.
Yesterday I had made a few Harley men from the motorcycle crew my friends. One in particular had dipped me
backwards for a picture when it was pointed out that my husband was sitting in the car, just a few yards behind us. We had
a laugh about it, and throughout the rest of the walk, I'd call him out. He'd laugh and ask where my husband was. It was all
done in fun. No one can beat the safety crew on Harleys, and we look forward to hearing the roar of their bikes and seeing
them every year.
7.6 miles. I MADE IT.
Last night I knew there was no way I could expect to pull off another thirteen mile day. By lunch, with just over five miles
left, I wanted to finish. But I wasn't sure that I could. The rain had let up, and I ate albacore tuna from a pouch, more food that Frank had brought into
lunch for me, so I wouldn't have to eat anything I was concerned about. I had packed and traveled with plenty of my food.
During the walk I also ate bananas, yogurt raisins, pretzels and peanut butter. I watered down the gatorade as much as was reasonable, to
further protect my stomach. a wet lunch <--click to view
9.6 miles. I MADE IT.
By this point, the rain had stopped and at times the sun was peeking through. I was so close, but I was getting tired. I believed
I could finish it now, but worried about not being able to immediately rest afterwards. We would be in a holding area, waiting for
closing ceremonies. Our pace was well ahead of where we needed to be. We walked on. we took this to prove we saw him first, behind the sign <--click to view
11.0 miles. I MADE IT.
Just over two miles to go. The longest two miles of the day. We walked through a beautiful park, and at the end, pulled down a dirt
road, was Frank and the girls. We're still not sure how he sneaked in there for us. THAT'S dedication. I told him that he really
needed to keep letting me know how close we were, how much we had left. Step by step, we continued on. The cruel irony of a surprise
hill was not lost on us in that final mile.
13.1 miles. Memorial Stadium. The end. I saw it in the distance, I heard the music, I heard the cheers. It felt surreal.
How could I possibly have walked 26.2 miles over two days? No training. Illness. Daily rest requirements. It seems impossible.
I took a deep breath, and we made our way to the stadium entrance. Our Crew had stayed together every step of the way, for
two days straight. Suddenly we were faced with the final walk. Cheering and clapping, we were surrounded. It was time to
walk through that long corridor of people, all thankful, grateful, celebrating our arrival, along with other walkers.
We grasped hands, and the three of us walked through the cheers. By this time, I was crying. It was overwhelming. I made eye contact
with as many people as I could. At the end, a photographer stepped in front of us, as we raised our hands together in victory.
We took a moment to hug each other, and feel the flood of relief, completion, accomplishment, pride. So many emotions were
swirling through my mind, and yet I still felt stunned. I was still questioning if this really happened. Frank, Kelle, and
Diane are three people who knew what condition I was in before we started this walk. I think they were as shocked as I was.
It was now time to go to Bank of America/Carolina Panthers stadium.
This trip would not be complete without seeing the stadium and Sam Mills memorial statue. I'll write about that part of the day
in another entry, with pics. It was a memory I'll never forget. We made the three hour drive home shortly thereafter.
Carolynn's Crew Year Five is now behind us. The Avon Walk For Breast Cancer, Charlotte is complete. We have already discussed many ideas
for next year.
To Frank: You are my world. Without you, this could have never happened. The unending love, support and understanding you give me
are more than I deserve. There is not another person in this world who I could possibly love like I do you.
To Abigail and Hannah: The two of you light my life. When times get tough, your smiles remind me what life is all about. To
see you running toward me, feeling your arms wrap around me...my heart can barely contain the love I have for you both.
To Kelle and Diane: Thank you for making this weekend a possibility. Your understanding of my physical limitations made it
easier for me to make the trip. I knew, without a doubt, that you would be there for me. You care. With no conditions attached. Period.
That's rare...and it's priceless.
To my three special friends who email almost daily: You know who you are. I treasure our friendship. Thank you for your sincerity.
Thank you for being real. My life would be less without you.
To my friends and family, to those that visit this site faithfully: Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for caring enough
to support our efforts. Thank you for helping us take another step, each day, toward a cure. You are making a difference.
Today I am grateful for twenty-six amazing, unbelievable miles.
Thank you God, for another day.
KELLE'S STORY, in her words:
5 YEARS ON THE ROAD
Unless you've ever taken part in a 3-day or 2-day event, it's hard to understand the emotions that rule you while on the road.
So very many emotions from joy to sadness and they are hard to control. You can find yourself smiling or crying at the drop
of a hat. A beeping horn, a hoot of a support, a kind word, a smile… you just never know how you will react.
This year was a triumph unlike any other year. Health concerns and overly busy schedules ruled our lives. Time for training
was sparse or non-existent. When three women in their 40's with little or no training, set out to walk two days in Charlotte
their expectations were low. By the end of the 2 days, they were all pretty amazed at themselves as they had walked every
step, they had walked every bit of the 26.2 miles. Carolynn by far has the most poignant story this year.
She should be feeling like she can conquer the world. I am proud of all three of us, but especially proud of "C". I don't
think we could have celebrated her five years as a breast cancer survivor in any better way. I don't think she ever realized
the strength and the courage that was inside her.
I won't forget Frank and the girls and the joyous WOO-HOO'S that filled the air with almost every step. I won't forget MooCow Guy
and the lift he gave to all of us. The crew at the pit and rest stops were beyond wonderful this year - the YeeHaw's for Ta-Ta's,
Captain Cleavage and Dr. Grabwell and all the rest. I won't forget the people I met or the stories I heard. I won't forget
how grateful I was for a hot shower and a warm sleeping bag. I won't forget how grateful I was for hot coffee in the cold
mornings and for the Starbucks that had free coffee waiting for us walkers on Sunday! I won't forget the beauty of several of
the parks we had the opportunity to walk through and some of the magnificent homes that were along the route. I won't forget
a special visit to see Sam Mills. I won't forget the treasured company of my friends and my second family. And I will never
forget the feeling of walking those last few feet together, the roar of the crowd, our hands linked and held high in victory.
No, I will never forget celebrating five years together.
Carolynn and Diane - thank you for a very special weekend and memories that will last a lifetime.
Here's to Carolynn's Crew Year Five and the future!!!
--Kelle--
DIANE'S STORY, in her words:
On Friday morning I got up filled with excitement. Carolynn, Kelle and myself would be traveling to Charlotte for my third
breast cancer walk. We had some drizzling rain off and on throughout the day, but that wasn't as bad as the delay we had
approximately 30 minutes before arriving to our destination. For some reason the later the day got the more I began to cough
and my voice began to fade.
When we walked into the Westin to register, reality set in. We received our tent assignment, did some shopping, and browsed
around. I began to watch some of the people there and at that point I reminded myself why I was walking. I was walking because
I could, and for those who couldn't.
The evening came to an end and we settled down for the night so we would be ready for the big day. One step at a time, that's
how it has to be done.
After a night of tossing and turning it was finally time to get up and prepare for our journey. We arrived at the Memorial
Stadium with an eagerness to get started on our journey for the day. The air was cool against my face and I danced around
trying to stay warm. I could see the excitement in Kelle and Carolynn's eyes. Frank, Abigail, and Hannah-- you will never
know how you touched my heart for all the support you gave Carolynn and the Crew.
After the opening ceremony, Carolynn's Crew was on our way. We were all concerned about Carolynn and we definitely didn't
want her to over do it. As we walked we chatted about things that had happened in our lives since the last walk and as always
it was nice to spend time with Kelle again. Frank kept up with our route just in case Carolynn needed to be picked up. The
day was filled with fun and laughter. The game of trying to find where Frank and the girls had parked made the miles seem
shorter. The smiles of two little girls from the back seat was another reminder as to why I was walking.
I don't know what I would have done without Frank. The lens fell out of my glasses and he repaired them, I had developed a
terrible cough and he went to WalGreens and bought me medicine. Not only did he go get the medicine, he opened it and poured
it for me. Thank you Frank for all that you did.
After several stops, several bottles of water, a snack here and there, and lunch, we were almost at the end of the day.
Frank always kept us posted on how much farther we had to go and finally we were there. We had made it, 13 miles. WOW,
thirteen miles was a distance I had not even thought about doing since I had an injury from last year. Carolynn surprised us
all. It did my heart good knowing she had walked 13 miles and was still feeling good with the exception of some soreness.
Kelle and I went to the tent, showered and waited for Carolynn to return with her family. A stranger had been assigned to
tent with me, so Kelle invited me to move in with her. The Johnson's arrived. Abigail and Hannah were eager to go see the
tents and visit the campground. After dinner and a short visit with Carolynn we parted until the next day. The three of
us knew we needed rest in order to be able to tackle the next thirteen miles. Kelle and I chatted for a while and then it
was time to call it a night. I slept on and off between coughs. It was a long cold night, but I kept reminding myself why
I was there and then it didn't seem so bad.
Sunday morning has arrived and Carolynn's Crew, Frank and the girls are ready to roll. As the three of us start our final
13 miles, I know that the day could be long. One thing I knew I could count on was in a parking lot, around the corner, or
parked behind a tree or a sign there would be Frank, Abigail, and Hannah waving, smiling, and yelling, "keep it up girls."
We had rain most of the morning, but that certainly didn't dampen our spirits. We were there to walk and that is exactly
what we did. We finally made it, thirteen more miles. As we walked through the cheering crowd my heart began to pound and
my eyes filled with tears. Carolynn, Kelle and I exchanged tears and hugs and at that moment I was reminded why I was there.
I walked because I could. The most amazing thing about the whole trip was with Carolynn's health the way it had been the past
several months, she walked an unplanned marathon. We were shocked, but more proud.
Frank, you were my doctor, my optometrist, and our entertainer on each corner. You are one of a kind.
Abigail and Hannah, you were the best cheerleaders anyone could ask for.
Carolynn and Kelle, thank you my friends for making my third year on Carolynn's Crew a very memorable one.
Looking forward to the future with Carolynn's Crew!
~Diane~
Saturday October 21, 2006
Before I write about today's events, I need to give an update on what decisions I had made just before the walk:
My health had been on the decline for several months, and training for the walk was not an option. As the date approached, I
felt less confident in my abilities. There were times I was housebound, and times that the short walk to the Church would leave me
breathless and lightheaded. Most of the time I chose to drive there. When I came down with strep, I felt like it was the final straw. I honestly doubted I would walk
more than half of a mile, but I did want to at least start the day with Kelle and Diane, our crew intact. I had spoken to both of them and had their total support.
Although year five was a celebration and milestone, I knew that it wasn't a time to test my body's limits.
I spoke with Frank at length. He knew I was not ready for the travel and walk, and it would take a toll on me. I asked him to shadow
me, so that I would have the security of knowing I could be picked up from the route at any moment, without having to be swept
by a van and perhaps forced to wait at various holding areas. He and the girls would stay in the area, and I could call him to come
and get me. I would then be able to go rest and meet Kelle and Diane later in camp for a visit. He would also carry foods that were safe for me to eat, to try and
avoid having problems with my stomach flaring up at the worst time possible. At that point, I thought I might be able
to walk a mile, or less.
We were up early, and made our way to Memorial Stadium. I ate a bowl of fiber one before leaving, and grabbed a banana when we arrived.
The temps were in the forties and the rest of the Crew, along with Frank and the girls, eagerly went for the coffee and hot chocolate.
The Avon Walk actually consists of two events in one. You can choose to walk a marathon, by walking 13 miles each day, or walking
a marathon and a half by walking 26 miles on day one and 13 on day two. (Or you can choose somewhere in between) Avon stresses
that distance isn't what counts, and to only walk the distance you are comfortable with completing. We had all decided going in
that we were doing the marathon event.
We picked up the route sheet for the day, and discovered the first stop was 1.8 miles away. I told everyone that was with me that
it was unlikely I could make that distance, but I would at least start. The opening ceremony began, and it was as emotional this
year as it has been every year before. We left the stadium and it was barely light outside. We walked at an easy pace, and I found myself
focused on how cold I was feeling, making sure I kept moving my shoulders to keep myself from tensing up from the cold. Before long,
I realized that we were approaching the first rest stop. I had just walked 1.8 miles, and I was not fatigued. I could not believe I had
made it that far. While other walkers were just getting started for the day, I was in utter shock that I made it to the first stop. I
continued to have a blank look on my face as I glanced at my teammates. They were as shocked as I was. Frank was right there
in the car, and asked how I was feeling. I smiled at him, "Fine so far!" He gave me a thumbs up and a smile that made it clear
he was proud of me. I decided to walk farther. I was not out of breath, and everything seemed to be going fine.
Stop number two was at 3.6 miles. I MADE IT.
5.0 miles. I MADE IT.
7.2 miles. I MADE IT.
9.1 miles. I MADE IT.
This was the lunch stop. The temperature was up, it was wonderful walking weather, and we were on the same pace as those choosing to walk the entire marathon distance today.
We were way ahead of cut-off times for walking the thirteen mile route. By this point my hips were aching some, but I fully
expected that. They bother me if I travel far by car, so walking over nine miles would cause a bit of discomfort. I was not
in extreme pain by no stretch. Frank and the girls joined us for lunch, and it was a nice break. Everyone asked how I felt,
and wanted to make sure I didn't push too far. Had I thought I was doing that, I would stop. I told them, in all honesty,
that I actually felt pretty good. I sat through lunch trying to figure out how I walked that distance, when I was so
far down physically just days and weeks before.
While at lunch, we saw a familiar face...MooCow Guy. He is quite a celebrity
among the Avon walks, where he shows up dressed as a cow and telling cow jokes. He's a wonderful inspiration and I've never seen him without a smile on his face. I took Hannah to meet
him and told him my story and how she was a miracle. I asked if we could get a picture of Hannah with him, and he replied to her "No, can I
get a picture with you?" lunch break <--click to view Hannah with MooCow Guy <--click to view
Lunch was over and I still felt well enough to keep walking.
Frank was my hero today. He literally followed the route step by step. I expected him to drive some and stay close in the area, but he went above and
beyond. He would drive a few blocks, park, and wait. When we appeared he would check on me, he would cheer for us, he would drive
ahead and do it again. At times we would wave and smile, and other times I would walk to the car to see him and the girls (Abigail and Hannah
also had dvd players to occupy them). It gave me confidence, and we ended up making it a game. The three of us would try to spot him before he saw
us. He continued to ask how I was feeling and beamed with pride. I was proud of him. I was proud that it was my husband who the other
walkers were seeing at every place possible.
11.2 miles. I MADE IT.
I was now 1.8 miles from actually FINISHING the route. I was starting to feel tired, but my heart rate was good and I believed it was safe to keep going.
Step by step we walked. By this point Frank would drive by and tell me how much was left. The last half mile was the longest of the day.
By this point, the fatigue was setting in. Kelle and Diane went to the Wellness Village, and Frank took me back to rest. I laid down
for a while, and then we went to the Village to see the Crew. We hung out with them while they ate dinner, and the girls had fun looking at the tents, displays, and freebies.
It had been a long day and Frank, the girls and I left to get some sleep. I decided not to commit to anything for tomorrow. I don't want to jeopardize my
ability to attend closing ceremonies, and my body has already given more than I could have ever dreamed for. I decided to see how the night
goes and make a decision tomorrow morning. the crew at camp <--click to view girls with balloon pink ribbon <--click to view Abigail with her goodies <--click to view Hannah is goofy <--click to view girls try out the tent <--click to view
Today I am grateful for thirteen amazing, unbelievable miles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 20, 2006
The forecast still looks good, and no (or very low) chance of rain. It looks like the nights will be cool, but day time temperatures
should be ideal for walking, at least after the first couple hours.
Kelle, Diane and I left Tazewell at 11am. We planned to arrive in Charlotte early enough to go by the Panthers Stadium before
registration. We were within thirty miles of Charlotte when traffic slowed to a standstill. Apparently there was an accident and we
sat in the same spot, without moving, for an hour and a half. Thankfully we had just stopped for lunch.
We decided we could visit the stadium on Sunday evening, and went straight to registration. The elevators opened, we entered the building,
and at that moment the walk became very real. Pink signs, balloons and excited voices met us at every turn. The buzz was contagious.
Since we had all completed online registration, received medical clearance, and met fundraising goals, we were able to go through express
check-in. I had already decided it would be in my best interest not to tent this year, but took an assigned place with Kelle to
hold the spot. Diane was given a location near us, and if she was not assigned a tentmate, both of them could be comfortable
in their own tent. If Diane did end up with a partner, she could then move up and tent with Kelle. The whole process took
about thirty minutes.
With registration and tent assignments complete, we headed to the Avon Walk Store. We already had team t-shirts for Friday, and decided
to buy a navy ringer t-shirt to wear on Sunday.
The three of us left the main room and made our way to tables set up by various walkers. I was looking for a pink Christmas tree--
because then I would find Marie. Who is Marie? She is a nurse from Asheville, NC and we met several months ago through email, and have stayed in contact.
Along with her daughter and friends, they formed the team "Sole Sisters". This was their first walk, and I was eager to meet the kind
woman I had corresponded with for so long. As I turned around, I spotted the tree Marie had told me about, and went straight over. I
made eye contact with a lovely lady wearing a team t-shirt. I said "I'm looking for Marie", and a smile lit her face as she said "Carolynn!"
I also met her beautiful daughter. Marie, you are a treasure, and I am honored to have met you. Marie <--click to view Marie, her daughter Amanda, and that wonderful pink tree! <--click to view
Frank and the girls made it to Charlotte safely this evening, and we took a drive to Memorial Stadium to get our bearings for tomorrow morning.
We need to be there around 5:45am.
Today I am grateful for Marie's smile.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday October 19, 2006
Kelle has arrived safely, and the girls have enjoyed spending the evening with her. Tomorrow the Crew will be on the road, and Frank and the
girls will come down tomorrow evening.
Today I am grateful for halloween goodies given to my girls, celebrated with great excitement.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday October 18, 2006
"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially.
We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward,
forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."
Kelle arrives tomorrow, and we will all travel to Charlotte on Friday.
Current forecast for the walk:
Sat. Oct 21 Mostly Sunny 68°/46° 10% chance of rain
Sun. Oct 22 Partly Cloudy 70°/48° 20% chance of rain
Today I am grateful for a very special blue shirt, tucked safely in a plastic bag.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 17, 2006
Kudos to Dove and the Dove Self-Esteem Fund.
All this talk about fashion models and extreme dieting. How did our idea of beauty become so distorted?
Every girl deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is.
View the latest commercial here.
Get involved at Campaign For Real Beauty.
What we see in print and on television is not real. Celebrity photos are not accurate representations of what these women look
like in reality. And when a size 4 or 6 is considered "too large", and actresses are dropping below 100 pounds, something is very wrong.
Today I am grateful for family.
Thank you God, for another day.
Trivia: Just before 8am EST this morning, the United States population hit 300,000,000!
Monday October 16, 2006
"The future comes one day at a time."
The forecast is looking pretty good for the walk this weekend. Highs in the upper 60's, with a small chance of
showers. Having experienced the extremes of frozen wet hair, ice on the tent, or sweltering heat in the past few
years, this is ideal. IF the forecast holds true, and only time will tell on that one.
Today I am grateful for cell phones.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 15, 2006
Abigail and her team, The Mutiny, played their first U10 soccer game this afternoon. By coincidence, she is also number 27, like her sister!
Thankfully the weather was a bit warmer. They played well, and won their game. ready to get started! game time winners!
Today I am grateful for our Pastor, and proud that he is my father.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday October 14, 2006
"Victory is in the quality of competition, not the final score."
We woke to a heavy frost and a soccer game scheduled for 10:00am. The air was bitter, and the kids were layered up.
Hannah is number 27 and today the Smurfs played the Pirates. Oh, the irony of THAT match-up. I'm glad the U6 league
doesn't keep score. They had a great time, and at this age, fun matters. I'm not a fan of sports parents who yell negativity
to their children from the sidelines. let's get started! game time the team with Coach William
Hannah-ism: I was getting ready to say something to Hannah, and she anticipated what I was going to say beforehand.
Hannah: "Do you know how I already knew what you were going to say?"
Me: "No, how?"
Hannah: "Because my brain is excellent at thinking!"
Today I am grateful for a completed furniture project.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 13, 2006
"There is more than a verbal tie between the words common, community, and communication.... Try the experiment of communicating,
with fullness and accuracy, some experience to another, especially if it be somewhat complicated, and you will find your own
attitude toward your experience changing."
It's All Abigail: Nothing makes Abigail happier than making crafts, creating art, and working with paper. Here's
her adventure with marketing! These signs started in the living room and led to her bedroom door. directions to the storeinviting adbargainswelcome
Today I am grateful for creative minds.
Thank you God, for another day.
CORPORATE FUNDRAISER NEWS: Project Pink, Munchkin
Munchkin is supporting Moms in their fight against breast cancer with the launch of Project Pink, a program that includes sharing tips
and stories for Moms battling the disease while raising children, the opportunity to buy a limited edition pink duck, and the
chance to win a family vacation to Los Angeles.
To raise even more awareness (and money!) to fight breast cancer, Munchkin asked celebrities to decorate ducks to be listed
in a charity auction on eBay. The response from celebrities has been great. Famous personalities from all walks of life -
politics, TV, movies, music and more - offered to lend their names and artistic skills to this worthwhile cause by decorating
and autographing a pink duck.
The celebrity-decorated pink ducks are available for bid on eBay during Breast Cancer Awareness Month from October 1 until
October 31, 2006. 100% of the proceeds from the auction of celebrity-decorated ducks will benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer
Foundation. Project Pink
Thursday October 12, 2006
"Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spines crumble."
Today I am grateful for smiles and straight A's.
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS: I've written about this before, but it bears repeating. This is not your "typical" breast cancer!
Inflammatory breast cancer is a rare but very aggressive type of breast cancer. IBC usually grows rapidly and often spreads
to other parts of the body; symptoms include redness, swelling, and warmth in the breast. The skin may also appear reddish
purple or bruised, or have ridges or appear pitted like an orange. Other symptoms can include burning, aching, an increase in
breast size, tenderness or an inverted nipple. Treatment for IBC usually starts with chemotherapy, which is generally followed
by color surgery, radiation, targeted therapy, and/or hormone therapy.
Please use the link below to view more information, including videos: Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC)
Wednesday October 11, 2006
Meet Tristan.
He is nine years old, and the youngest child of my friend, and Carolynn's Crew Germany Team Captain, Alex. He walked with his family
in the Frankfurt Race for the Cure. Tristan had a heart catheterization last week, where it was determined that the right side of his heart is four times larger than normal.
There is a hole in his heart and one vein to his lungs is going backwards, making his heart work much harder than it should.
In November, he will have surgery. Please pray for Tristan, Alex and her entire family, that the doctors will be successful,
and Tristan will fully recover.
Today I am grateful for prayer.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 10, 2006
a brighter smile
a brighter laugh
a brighter hug
a brighter kiss
a brighter wish
a brighter dance
a brighter dream
a brighter morning
a brighter Monday
a brighter embrace
a brighter whisper
a brighter poem
a brighter purpose
a brighter giggle
a brighter snuggle
a brighter song
a brighter you
Here's to a bright symbol of hope.
Thank you Target, proud supporter of The
Breast Cancer Research Foundation. BCRF donates over 85% of all funds raised for breast cancer research
grants and awareness programs. Through their passion and your support, we will find a cure for breast cancer.
Today I am grateful for music.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 9, 2006
After my doctor's visit today, I am now confirmed with strep throat as well. Frank appears to have it also, and has an appointment tomorrow.
With the Avon Walk less than two weeks away, this is not the best timing for us all to be sick and on meds for ten days. I am
concerned about what the antibiotic will do to my already "compromised" digestive system. On a positive note, I'm glad we
all have this together. At least we won't pass it back and forth---lasting for weeks.
Soccer season has finally started! We are a month late for unknown reasons, and tonight was Hannah's first practice. It's going to be a chilly
season for them now. This year she is playing for the "Smurfs". That's a new team name around here, but she seems to like it! Thankfully, she was healthy
enough to go, and Abigail has a few more days before her practice begins. eager to get started action in the goal
Today I am grateful for a five year old proudly demonstrating her soccer skills in the living room.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 8, 2006
"Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention."
Both girls went to the pediatrician this afternoon. Abigail has strep throat and is now on an antibiotic. No school for her
tomorrow. Hannah has a bad cold. He gave her a lower dose antibiotic anyway, to prevent her from picking up strep from her
sister. By this afternoon, my throat is blistered, so I'll head to the doctor myself tomorrow. At least we have it at the
same time, and can get better rather than pass it back and forth.
Today I am grateful for Dr. Thomson.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday October 7, 2006
Two weeks from today, our Crew will be walking in the Charlotte Avon Walk for Breast Cancer! It's hard to believe the time
has passed so quickly!
It's fall, school is in, and illness is back. Abigail has had a headache and fever since Thursday, Hannah is starting with congestion
and a cough, and I have a cold and sore throat. Thankfully, Frank has escaped the germs.
Today I am grateful for children's motrin.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday October 6, 2006
It's Lee Denim Day! Join Lee Jeans, EIF (Entertainment Industry Foundation Initiatives, Women's Cancer Programs) and Pierce Brosnan in the fight against breast cancer by wearing denim today.
Your $5 contribution will benefit local breast cancer prevention services, as well as groundbreaking early detection and
treatment research at leading cancer centers nationwide.
www.denimday.com
"Sometimes life is a pleasure to be savored, not a problem to be solved."
Hannah-ism:
Hannah: "Mommy, I love you all the way to the universe and the numbers!"
Me: "Wow, that's a lot!"
Hannah: "That's because the universe never ends and numbers never end! That's farther than the moon!"
Today I am grateful for playing a game of chase with Frank.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday October 5, 2006
"Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be."
Today my name is among a list of breast cancer survivors being shown in Times Square throughout the month of October!
Thanks Mom, for doing that for me!!
Today I am grateful for freshly planted mums.
Thank you God, for another day.
ACTION ALERT:
From Diane Balma, Director of Public Policy- The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation
Fall colors are typically reds, browns and oranges. But for October, we're going pink. It's National Breast Cancer Awareness
Month - and there's no one with whom we would rather commemorate than you! This is a time for us to reflect on the progress
we have made in the fight against breast cancer but it is also a time for us to continue to make our voice heard so that one
day we will know a world without breast cancer.
Let's start today! Unless concerned citizens like you speak out, we could see drastic cuts to Medicare reimbursement rates,
limiting women's access to quality health care at the very point in their lives when they are at the greatest risk of developing
breast cancer.
We cannot afford to lose ground when we have come this far. As a Champion, you are integral to our efforts and we need your
help! Send a message to your representatives in Congress – Medicare cuts must be repealed!
If Medicare reimbursement rates are reduced as planned, on January 1st many of the physicians on the front lines of breast
cancer diagnosis and treatment - from oncologists to pathologists, from radiologists to surgeons - will be forced to cut back
on their services for the aging population.
This is particularly troubling because 42% of all patients diagnosed with breast cancer are age 65 or older. More than half
of all breast cancer-related deaths occur in this same age group. We must demand that Medicare patients with breast cancer
receive the best care available.
Urge your elected representatives to protect women's access to quality health care.
Please help us ensure that on January 1, breast cancer patients of all ages, and the people who love them, can look forward
to a happy, healthy New Year.
Wednesday October 4, 2006
This was part of the gift from my parents on Sunday:
God Heals.
Remember when you heard the words-
And your mind went blank for a moment
God Heals.
Remember in your darkest hours-
When pain and sickness surrounded you
God Heals.
Remember friends and families prayers
And encouragement
God Heals.
Quiet- you can hear Him now-
Always there- yet never this close
God Heals.
It's now 5 years since-
Everything has changed
And you hear yourself say
God Heals.
We remember that life is a gift-
Each day to treasure.
God Heals.
Today I am grateful for Johnny Appleseed.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday October 3, 2006
"Fear of failure and fear of the unknown are always defeated by faith. Having faith in yourself, in the process of change, and in
the new direction that change sets will reveal your own inner core of steel."
Today I am grateful for candles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday October 2, 2006
Thank you for the gifts, cards, and e-cards to celebrate yesterday's milestone. For those that signed the guestbook, I
appreciate your kind words!
It's All Abigail: Overheard in the kitchen this morning: ("Golday" is what they call my mother)
Hannah: "I'm going to wear a bra like Golday."
Abigail: "All girls do, Hannah."
Hannah: "Mommy doesn't wear one."
Abigail: "I know. That's because she had breast cancer."
There was a brief pause, then this very serious reply-
Abigail: "But even if they've been taken off, you can wear a bra if you still want to. You just put these
jelly-like things inside there to fill it up."
Today I am grateful for girls who aren't afraid of dirt.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday October 1, 2006
Today, I have been in remission for five years.
I have many different emotions about this day. I have beaten the odds. I have survived longer than most of the women who
were in my same position five years ago.
I have been truly blessed.
Many people think we are considered "cured" if we survive this milestone. In reality, our odds of recurrence are reduced,
but we aren't cured. There still isn't a cure for cancer. One day, but not yet. That's why we must keep fighting.
The last five years have been a roller coaster ride.
There were times I felt strong, and I was proud. There were times I felt weak, and wondered if I would ever be the same again.
There are survivors who have fully recovered and suffer no ill effects. In my unique situation, that was not to be for me. What I've come to learn, and still continue to learn to this day, is this---I will never be the same.
In many ways, cancer has made me a better person. I am certainly more aware of my own mortality. As each day passes, I
am still aware of the breeze, the sun kissing my face, the gratitude of survival. I realize that some battles aren't worth
fighting, and try to focus on what will count when we reach the end of our time on earth.
I did underestimate the long term effects of high dose chemotherapy and subsequent illnesses. Sometimes I have to make
a mental "list" of what I have experienced after my treatment ended. It helps me accept, rationalize, even understand
why it's okay that I must now carefully plan my days. I have to make sure I am always in a situation that allows me an escape if
I become too tired. My body doesn't give me a lot of notice before a crash.
What I know for sure--I wouldn't go back and change my life. I am alive. I delivered a healthy baby girl who is now five years
old. I have an eight year old who makes me proud every day. I have a husband who loves me deeply. My parents live right beside
of me. I have a small circle of friends that support me in all that I do. I am happy that I have self imposed limitations on whom
I choose to spend time with. Time is to be spent enjoying life, not fighting through it. Life is too precious to be wasted.
Pathways to Peace---
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God." - Matthew 5:9 Integrity---
"Integrity is one of several paths. It distinguishes itself from the others because it is the right path and the only one
upon which you will never get lost." - M.H. McKee Joy---
"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice,
for your soul is alive." - Eleonora Duse Kindness---
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." - Mark Twain Faith---
"Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light." - Helen Keller Courage---
"This is courage… to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends." - Euripedes Hope---
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." - George Iles Charity---
"We must not only give what we have; we must also give what we are." - Desire-Joseph Mercier Love---
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love." - Mother Teresa Patience---
"Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on, Hold fast, Hold out. Patience is genius." - Comte Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon Determination---
"The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving." - Oliver Wendell Holmes Gratitude---
"A single grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer." - Gotthold Ephraim Lessing Humility---
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right." - Ezra Taft Benson Forgiveness---
"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is
again made clean." - Dag Hammarskjold Peace---
"We must come to see that peace is not merely a distant goal we seek, but it is a means by which we arrive at that goal.
We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means." - Martin Luther King, Jr. Pathways to Peace
Today I am grateful for God's love and gift of life, both of which I am not worthy.
Thank you God, for five years.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 30, 2006
OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!
This is a list of the Young Survival Coalition Retail Partners.
As with yesterdays Komen list, please take a moment to click here
for more details, including product and purchase information, prices, company links, and donation specifics. YOU can help contribute to the cause, just by making many of your regular
household purchases, or using these as gift suggestions.
YOUNG SURVIVAL COALITION RETAIL PARTNERS:
The Hershey Company’s Pledge For Survival
Nutra Nail
Farleyco
Mikimoto
Candy Favorites
Snapfish.com
Loehmann’s
Stirrings
Robyn Rhodes
Papique
Alexandra Knight
Denim for Immortality
1154 Lill Studio
Napa Girl
ghd
Kansas City Chiefs
Today I am grateful for companies who care.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 29, 2006
OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!
This is a list of the Komen Corporate Partnerships.
Please take a moment to click here
for more details on this list, including product and purchase information, prices, company links, and specifics on what amount (or percentage) of money
will be donated. It's amazing how much YOU can help contribute to the cause, just by purchasing many of your regular household needs, or using
these as gift suggestions.
KOMEN CORPORATE PARTNERS:
Komen Race for the Cure®
2006 Komen Sing for the Cure®
A&A Optical
Aldila, Inc.
All Sport Brush
American Beauty Supply, Inc.
Belk
Better Homes & Gardens
BMW of North America – The Ultimate Drive®
Boeri USA
Breeder’s Choice
C&F Enterprises
Carlisle Collection – Fabric of Hope
CHI-CHI’S® Salsa
Coldwater Creek®
Crest Uniforms, a division of ARAMARK Uniform & Career Apparel, Inc.
Cross Pens
Crown Street Collectibles
Curvation
Dell™
Deluxe Checks – Checks for the Cure®
Dirt Devil Pink Broom Vac®
Dutch Gardens
Eastman Kodak
eBags.com
Einstein Bros.®
Energizer®
Felt Bicycles
Fiskars
Ford Division
Francesca’s
Fresh Express
Garden Fresh Restaurant Corporation
George Weston Bakeries
Glove It, LLC
GUESS
Hallmark
Holland America Line
Hunter Boots
Igloo®
Jacques Gourmet, LLC
JASON Natural Products
Kellogg Company
KitchenAid® - Cook for the Cure®
Kyocera
La Bella Donna
Lean Cuisine®
L’Occitane
Love Cures
Lowe’s Companies, Inc.
LPGA Golf Clinics
M&M’S® Brand Chocolate Candies
Magaschoni
Mark Feldstein & Associates, Inc.
Mattel
Michael Vincent
Middleton Doll
Munchkin
Napa Valley Naturals
Nature’s Finest Candles
Neenah Paper
New Balance Athletic Shoe, Inc.
Nonni’s® Food Company
Nordstrom, Inc.
Oilily USA
Orawave
Oreck Corporation
Payless ShoeSource
Pendleton Woolen Mills
Pepperidge Farm®
PepsiAmericas
Physi-Cal
Pier 1 Imports® – Komen Candle
Planet Dog – Pink Ribbon Ringo and Pink Ribbon Buddy
Pretty Feet and Hands
Proflowers.com – Pink Ribbon Collection
Quilted Northern Ultra®
Qwest® and SANYO®
Rado
Rally for a Cure®
Reed & Barton
The Republic of Tea
Retro 1951, Inc.
Rugged Shark
Sage Manufacturing - Rod for Recovery
Seagate Technology
Sears Portrait Studio
Serta – Counting Sheep for the Cure™
Shoebuy.com
Siemens Medical Solutions
Simon Malls
Smart Health, Inc.
Smith and Hawken
Springs Global
Starbucks Corporation
SunChips®
Super Pet
Sylvania
The Zanger Company
Tomboy Tools®
United States Bowling Congress
Urban Outfitters, Inc.
Vivre, Inc.
Wacoal America
WorldWinner®
Wrangler
Wyeth/ChapStick Brand Lip Moisturizer
Wyndham Hotels and Resorts
XM Satellite Radio, Pioneer and Circuit City
Yoplait USA
Yves Rocher North America, Inc.
Today I am grateful for corporate support.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 28, 2006
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
Today I am grateful for a beautiful card in the mailbox.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 27, 2006
This is the (translated) summary for the German Race for the Cure:
Race for the Cure® in Frankfurt/Main was a sensational success Bad Homburg, 25 September 2006.
The Race of yesterday for the Cure®, run for the healing of breastcancer, on the Main bank in Frankfurt was a full success:
With altogether 4,768 runners, which run themselves in accordance with the slogan "for the life" gladly took part, the previous
year result was increased by 3.841 participants by 24,13 per cent, among them were 472 Survivors, cancer of the breast-concerned.
The picture book weather led to approximately 400 spontaneous daily registrations. Of it 1,756 participants selected the two
kilometers long Walk. 3,012 Jogger, aforementioned of the KOMEN ambassadors Heike Drechsler and Nicole Leder as well as Edgar Itt,
former olympia winner, decided for the five kilometers long run around the Main. City Major Petra Roth, those gave the starting
signal spontaneously decided itself in the next year, on 30 September 2007, together with the HR-Wetterfee and host of the
Race for the Cure®, Laura DiSalvo, to take part in the run actively. The three largest teams of the run of this year were
pc. Leonhard' s Spirited Feet (175 members) from Frankfurt/Main, GE Volunteers from Isenburg (with 100 participants) and
Frankfurt internationally School (97 members). The pro mamma team from Hamm Westphalia was the team with most Survivors
within the group of runs. Also the Row for the Cure registered a record participation with 200 participants distributed on
30 boats. The rowers were multicolored mixed thereby - men such as women between 13 and 71 years put before a fantastic window
blind into the belts. The next Race for the Cure takes place on 30 September 2007 in Frankfurt/Main. Supervisor of the Race
for the Cure® in Frankfurt/Main is KOMEN Germany registered association, the association for the healing of cancer of the
breast. Already to the sieved mark in consequence the charity run moved the topic cancer of the breast into the consciousness
of the public.
Thank you Alex!
Today I am grateful for pampering from two little girls, including a foot rub and multiple tiny pigtails.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday September 26, 2006
"Before you act, consider; when you have considered, 'tis fully time to act."
"The definition of courage is not the absence of fear, but rather feeling the fear and walking through it anyway."
Hannah-ism: Today, Hannah brought home a picture she had drawn of our family.
Me: "That's a pretty picture."
Hannah: "Ms. Patsy said to draw something that made us happy"
Me: "Oh, Hannah, that is so nice that you chose to draw us!"
Hannah: "Yeah, anyway...I couldn't draw a picture of the playground."
Me, laughing: "Oh, I see."
Today I am grateful for clarity.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday September 25, 2006
Meet our German Crew !
What a wonderful show of love and support between family and friends. And Alex is already building a network for next year
as well!!
Today I am grateful for genuine, selfless commitment.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 24, 2006
CAROLYNN'S CREW GERMANY (FRANKFURT RACE FOR THE CURE) WALKED TODAY!
Way to go Alex and team!
I should have pictures tomorrow!!
"I had rather be shut up in a very modest cottage, with my books, my family, and a few old friends, dining on
simple bacon, and letting the world roll on as it liked, than to occupy the most splendid post, which any human power
can give."
Today I am grateful for the ability to read.
Thank you God, for another day.
See the Pink Hershey Kiss here.
More pink product info to come!
Saturday September 23, 2006
Welcome FALL !!
My favorite season!
"The road less traveled is the journey best remembered."
Today I am grateful for a cat who loves to play fetch.
Thank you God, for another day.
CORPORATE FUNDRAISER NEWS: LENOX GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE
Breast cancer touches the lives of countless women, men, and families. As an expression of support in the fight to
eradicate this disease, the artists of Lenox have created the Gift of Knowledge Angel. This heavenly messenger wears a gown decorated with a pink ribbon motif -
the universal symbol of the battle against breast cancer. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to breastcancer.org, a
nonprofit organization dedicated to breast cancer education and research. click here to view, use zoom option
Friday September 22, 2006
"Heroes
walk among us.
These are ordinary
people with caring,
dedicated hearts
that give us
reason
to believe.”
Who's your hero?
Today I am grateful for spending time with Mom-maw before she passed away last year.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 21, 2006
We are now one month away from the Avon Charlotte walk! This is the fifth year for the Crew and I also celebrate my fifth year
in remission soon. We've all talked and decided to take our time and really just enjoy the event.
We're also going to visit the Panthers stadium and spend some time "with" Sam Mills. I'm really looking forward to that.
Frank and the girls will be there the whole time, and I plan to meet up with a few friends as well. This year is going to be
a celebration. And we're already talking about new plans for 2007!!!
FOOT SOLDIERS: Stories from the Breast Cancer 3Day Walk--this book has sold out in the PRM store. If you missed out, it is now available
from Amazon.com. Order through the store
link, or below:
Today I am grateful for a friend I can call, and after more than a month, we easily pick up where we left off.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 20, 2006
"There are two ways to spread light; to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it."
Today I am grateful for wheat pancakes.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday September 19, 2006
I see the top of one of Dad's trees, fall is
making its appearance.
It's a great thing to live in a place where you can see this.
Today I am grateful for the crisp feel of the air.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday September 18, 2006
"Now is the only time there is. Make your now wow, your minutes miracles, and your days pay. Your life will have been
magnificently lived and invested, and when you die you will have made a difference."
Today I am grateful for Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 17, 2006 Hannah-ism: Abigail wanted to sleep with me, so Hannah talked Daddy into sleeping with her. The next morning's
conversation--
Hannah: "Daddy snores!"
Me: "Yes, he does."
Hannah: "It's okay, though. I was sleepin' like a log!!"
Today I am grateful for a little girl hung up on the word "seriously". I really am, seriously.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 16, 2006
“We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover
ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”
Today I am grateful for "girl talk".
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 15, 2006
"Be sensitive to the plight of others. You have to know about the tragedies as well as the triumphs, the failures as well
as the success."
Today I am grateful for red leaves.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 14, 2006
Cold hard facts, sobering statistics, and something to think about:
Presently, the risk of an American man developing cancer over his lifetime is one in two. The leading cancer sites are prostate,
lung, and colon and rectum. Approximately one in three women in the United States will develop cancer over her lifetime. The
leading sites are breast, lung, and colon and rectum.
(source: ACS, American Cancer Society, 2006)
Today I am grateful for morning tickles in bed.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 13, 2006
I love nature photography. I love this.
Today I am grateful for "Lincoln Park After Dark".
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday September 12, 2006 It's All Abigail: Tonight, Abigail and I were home alone, just the two of us. We had tea and McVities.
Abigail: "I like this, Mommy. Just me and you here by ourselves."
Me: "It is nice, isn't it?"
Abigail: "Yeah. I like when we hang out."
Me: "Me too, honey."
Abigail: "I don't mean that I wouldn't want Hannah to come home, though. After a while, I miss her."
Today I am grateful for quiet time.
Thank you God, for another day.
ACTION ALERT: Get a head start on National Breast Cancer Awareness Month! The Breast Cancer Site is kicking off the
celebration early with the Pink Ribbon Challenge--every click you make on the "Fund Free Mammograms" button is worth DOUBLE the usual amount of funding.
(this link is always at the top of this page and the home page as well)
Monday September 11, 2006
Five Years.
New York. DC. Shanksville, PA. Our entire country.
Never Forgotten.
Today I am grateful for the United States of America. It's not perfect, but there's no other place I'd rather
call home.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 10, 2006
Today was the Church's 29th Homecoming. Congratulations Dad. It's rare these days to find a man who has
pastored a single Church for that length of time.
Today I am grateful for Calvary Baptist Chapel.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 9, 2006 Hannah-ism: While Abigail gives a lot of thought into becoming an artist, Hannah often thinks about being married
and becoming a Mom.
Hannah: "I'm going to buy bunk beds."
Me: "Why?"
Hannah: "Because my husband will probably snore."
Me: "You think so?"
Hannah: "Well, ya see, most men DO snore."
Me: "Well, maybe you'll find a husband who doesn't."
Today I am grateful for the ability to write.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 8, 2006
Sometimes you just have to take a break and smile.
Kudos to Thomas English Muffins:
Fields of Hope Tribute Tree. Click logo to visit site, and add a loved ones name to the growing tree.
Today I am grateful for friends who care.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday September 7, 2006
"You will never change your life until you change something you do daily."
Today I am grateful for a warm sweatshirt.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday September 6, 2006
"Mommy, you make all problems go away."
And with those seven words, my heart is lighter.
Today I am grateful for the gift of Motherhood.
Thank you God, for another day.
Growth, maturity, change: green
becomes pink,
and the bee is happy.
ACTION ALERT: Message from The Breast Cancer Site:
We need your help. In recent months, we have experienced a drop in the number of clicks on the "Fund Free Mammograms" button,
resulting in fewer working poor, homeless and uninsured women receiving the screening they need to detect breast cancer.
Every click on the pink button sends funding to the National Breast Cancer Foundation to pay for mammograms for women who
cannot afford them. The more people who click, the more free mammograms we can fund. Early detection is crucial to surviving
breast cancer. The bottom line: We need more clicks.
Tuesday September 5, 2006
“Once you have been confronted with a life-and-death situation, trivia no longer matter. Your perspective grows and you live
at a deeper level. There's no time for pettiness.”
At last, my favorite time of the year is almost here. Fall. With the change in seasons, I also feel the change within, as I spend
time in silent contemplation. This year has been a year of many changes as I continue restructuring my life. And although
my health has been on a decline, there have been many blessings this year. Emotionally, I have separated from negative influences as
I try to live each day to its fullest. As time continues to pass, I will continue to assess my priorities. I think of it as
a fluid, ongoing process.
“The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
Today I am grateful for Abigail's sigh of contentment, when I wrap my arms around her.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday September 4, 2006
We awoke to rain, and went to bed with rain. For just enough hours in between, it was dry enough for Frank to get
the dining room furniture primed. This project has been planned for many months, and I'm glad to get it underway. With
the change in seasons becoming clear, I want my home cozy and ready to enjoy staying inside.
Today I am grateful for the many people who take time to visit this site, from all over the world, and even some who access
via cell phone.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday September 3, 2006
"There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the
morning more fragrant than ever again.”
It's All Abigail: Abigail loves to draw, paint, and "create" in general.
Abigail: "Mommy, you know that building that's past Hardee's?"
Me: "Yes." (This is an empty business property currently for lease)
Abigail: "Well, if it's there later, that's where I'm going to put my art studio. On one side, I'll have my art for sale.
The small pieces will probably be $5, but the bigger stuff may be around $25. And on the other side, I will work and people
can watch me paint and stuff."
Me: "That sounds perfect!"
Abigail: "I'm not going to charge people to watch me, though. And I think I'll set up a corner where kids can come
and paint. They can take their pictures home, or I will put them all around the walls."
Me: "Puff, that is a great idea!!!"
Today I am grateful for childhood dreams and creativity.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday September 2, 2006
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words."
I've come across some wonderful images recently. If I could be represented by nature, this would be my self-portrait,
for several reasons--most less obvious than a quick glance would reveal. What would yours be?
Today I am grateful for our beautiful sanctuary.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday September 1, 2006
Images evoke different emotions from each individual. For me, this
brings peace.
Today I am grateful for a soft bed.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 31, 2006
"A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill, requires only our silence, which costs nothing."
Today I am grateful for a child's first time visit to the Cremery, and the choice combination of chocolate gelato, pop rocks, and gummy bears.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 30, 2006
"The one thing that matters is the effort."
Today I am grateful for a fall breeze touching my face as I walk outside.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday August 29, 2006
Aug. 29, 2005, 6:10am Date/time Huricane Katrina
hits New Orleans.
My heart goes out to ALL of the Gulf Coast residents, who continue to suffer a year later. The conditions they are still living in,
even today, are beyond our comprehension.
Today I am grateful for a home, electricity, food, clothing, and the many every day needs that we often take for granted.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 28, 2006
I've had major flare-up with with my stomach that started yesterday and continues tonight. I can't pinpoint anything
I have eaten out of the ordinary. I'll just have to ride this one out.
Today I am grateful for a man who loves me, regardless.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for music, and the soothing sounds of nature captured on CD.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday August 26, 2006
"But you don't look sick." The Spoon Theory
Please take a few minutes and read this link. It's a wonderful "object lesson". Although the author's ailment is lupus,
there are many issues that relate to other chronic illnesses...and she acknowledges that as well. Some of you may be living
like this, too.
I can really identify with the "But you don't look sick" mindset. Although my case is not quite as extreme as the author on
most days, I have to carefully plan my days. After the trauma my body suffered over the past few years, I am left with ailments
that are not visible on the outside. On most days, you can't see my fibromyalgia, the chronic fatigue, the osteoporosis, or
stomach issues. I can't count the number of times I have been told that I look great. I appreciate the compliment, and on the
outside, I know I don't "look sick". I often wonder if it prompts people to question the authenticity of my diagnoses.
Truthfully, my health is something I don't like to discuss often. I spend enough time trying to structure my life in such a
way that I can function at a reasonable level. I feel that talking about it as well takes even more energy from me. I just don't want my health
to be a focus in my daily conversations. In addition, I don't want to ever sound as though I am ungrateful for the miracle of my spared
life, or be perceived as bitter about the conditions that I do have. It is what it is, and I can live with that. I have many blessings
in my life.
Thank you so much, Pen, for this link. The spoon theory is an excellent way to explain to someone who doesn't quite understand. Although EVERY
detail didn't mirror my story, it made me say, "Yeah, that's it. That's what it's like."
Today I am grateful for an extra spoon in my pocket.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 25, 2006
"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
Today I am grateful for peanut butter sandwiches and skim milk at school.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 24, 2006
Even though Hannah has been through two years of preschool-- she went two days, then three days each week, for only three hours at a time.
School started back today. Hannah is now in kindergarten and Abigail is in 3rd grade. For the first time in over eight years,
I have no child at home. I will now learn a new routine. Although a piece of my heart left this house today, it's impossible
for me not to feel happiness for the joy shown in these
faces this morning. At the end of the day, Hannah
and Abigail were
all stories, smiles, and excitement.
Today I am grateful for answered prayers. Only God knows when the time is right.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Sitting at the breakfast table, eagerly getting ready for school.
"I don't know why my head is moving around! I think my brain is doing a dance!!"
Wednesday August 23, 2006
"Nature tops the list of potent tranquilizers and stress reducers. The mere sound of moving water has been shown to lower blood pressure."
Today I am grateful for Whitney, who loves my girls enough to ALWAYS paint their nails, and today she even curled their hair.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Hannah is in the back seat of the car, talking to her sister.
Hannah: "When I get married, my husband will have to mow."
Abigail: "Yeah. He'll do that."
Hannah: "But I'll have to show him how to start the mower, he probably won't know how."
Tuesday August 22, 2006
SIXTY DAYS TIL AVON CHARLOTTE!
Somewhere between age seven and eight, my child suddenly became a young "lady".
On our way to third grade orientation.
Today I am grateful for the smell of freshly cut grass.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 21, 2006
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Today I am grateful for dark skies.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday August 20, 2006
There are days when you really know what counts in life---and nothing else matters.
An eight-year old's original poem.
Today I am grateful for Abigail, who could spend hours writing, drawing, and creating things from paper.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday August 19, 2006
The German Crew continues to grow!!
Welcome Iris Benzing and Kerstin Harris to Carolynn's Crew! I am so proud of
all of you!!
"There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond
being physically together and is often more profound."
Today I am grateful for women like Alex,
who provide inspiration, even from across the ocean.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 18, 2006
"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
One of the lessons I've learned over the past few years is that anger isn't worth the energy one puts into it.
Anger is a secondary emotion. It's the reaction to a base emotion of hurt, abandonment, jealousy, or other feelings. I'm not perfect, but
I try not to allow anger in my life. It's just a wasted emotion. I've encountered people who seem to feed on anger (and hatred).
I can't help but believe they live very unhappy lives. If only those people would direct that energy into positive action,
what a different world we would be enjoying.
Today I am grateful for little girl giggles.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: "What does Jesus look like?"
Me: "I don't know, I haven't seen Him yet. We'll find out when we get there."
Hannah: "When I go up to Heaven, Mom-maw will tell me."
Me: "I'm sure she will, honey."
Thursday August 17, 2006
Welcome Wolf-Dieter Metzke to Carolynn's Crew Germany!!!!
"Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock
during a thunderstorm."
Today I am grateful for hanging out with Mom on the back deck.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 16, 2006
"Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep."
Today I am grateful for a well loved "sleepy bear" on the road with us.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday August 15, 2006
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.
You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."
Today I am grateful for someone caring enough to have this waiting for my arrival.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 14, 2006
This is the last full week before the girls go back to school. Summer has passed quickly, but they love school and are more than
ready to go back. For me, the heat in summer is oppressive, and as the evenings start to cool this week, I eagerly await fall.
Today I am grateful for a shortened "to do" list.
Thank you God, for another day.
CORPORATE FUNDRAISER NEWS: Hershey does it again!
Hershey’s iconic York Peppermint Pattie, indulgent Nuggets and classic Kisses
will debut an exciting new color this October – pink. The Limited Edition Pink collection will encourage women everywhere to
live well and support breast cancer awareness. In addition, York, Nuggets and Kisses will make a $250,000 donation to the
Young Survival Coalition (YSC), the only international, non-profit network of breast cancer survivors and supporters
dedicated to the concerns and issues that are unique to young women and breast cancer.
“We are thrilled to continue our partnership with The Hershey Company and the York, Nuggets and Kisses brands to raise awareness
of the fact that young women can and do get breast cancer,” said YSC CEO Michele Przypyszny. “With the additional support of
the Nuggets and Kisses brands, the YSC will reach even more young women affected by the disease and continue to provide vital
programs and services for this underserved population.”
“Last year, York Peppermint Pattie was the first Hershey product to go pink in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month,” said
Michele Buck, Chief Marketing Officer for The Hershey Company. “This year, Hershey will once again show its support of this
important cause by adding Nuggets and Kisses to the line-up of brands that will turn pink this October. We are proud to increase
our commitment to the YSC and its mission by doubling last year’s donation of $125,000 to $250,000.”
The Limited Edition Pink collection will be available nationwide beginning in August. Each package will feature information
on the YSC as well as The Hershey Company’s commitment to the breast cancer cause.
Sunday August 13, 2006
Breast Cancer. Two words.
"My life has been changed forever. There are Bad days when the darkness comes, and there are Good days that promise Hope.
For those Women who have gone before me, and for those who stand by me: for our Mothers, our Friends, our Daughters, for Ourselves...I
say, 'Look Fear in the face. We are more than these bodies.' Being sick doesn't mean being weak. We are Strong and we will
not let this beat us. We will Fight and we will Survive."
Today I am grateful for the smell of Fall in the air.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for pirates!
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday August 11, 2006
"Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger...for the world was built to develop character, and we must
learn that the setbacks and grief's we endure help us in our marching onward."
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times
of challenge and controversy."
Today I am grateful for my husband, Frank.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 10, 2006
The higher dose of my medication has a few side effects, but I am hoping to continue taking it and my body will adjust in time.
The doctors office has submitted the medical need form and now I just wait for the insurance company to approve the new dosage. (I am just
doubling the qty. I currently have on hand) This is the first time I've ever had an issue with my insurance company. I've
lost track of the number of surgeries, hospital stays, and tests I've had in the past six years, but they've covered everything without question.
Today I am grateful for those few friends who are close enough that time can pass between conversations and you still just pick up where you
left off.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 9, 2006
I met with Dr. Fulp yesterday and reviewed all of my test results. My biopsies were benign and my stomach seems to be functioning properly.
I have no intestinal blockages. This is all good news. However, for the first time, my reflux has shown damage to the esophagus.
(I've been treated for GERD for eight years, and it has continued to progress) His concern is to address this issue right away, because the current meds are no longer doing their job. I started on a double dose
of my current medication today. My insurance wants to fight that decision, so Dr. Fulp will have to write a statement of medical
necessity for a dose this high. I agree with getting the acid back under control. This may also reduce some of my current pain.
Adhesions and surgery are still a possibility with my history, but we are both in agreement to make this medication change first.
Esophagial damage is a risk for me, and one that needs to be addressed promptly.
Since the time of my first appointment with him, Dr. Fulp has helped many of my symptoms and I am far better off than I was before
consulting him. My lower digestive and colon issues have been resolved to almost 100%. My diet is highly restrictive, but necessary.
The upper stomach/lower esophagus, although the most severe of the problems, is the last part of my digestive issues that
need to be addressed.
Today I am grateful for rain.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Frank is on vacation this week, so today we took the girls to Pipestem State Park for a short visit.
This was their first time there. We saw a sign for a Nature Center and read it aloud.
Hannah: "That means it's the center of nature!"
We laughed and went inside. There were many specimens in the building, many of which were alive, but the walls were covered with taxidermy.
Hannah: "Look! Those used to be alive!!!"
Walking down a short path, she eagerly pointed out various rocks where bears could sleep at night. Abigail was more concerned
about running the paths to get "more energy".
And as we left the state park--
Hannah: "Thanks for taking us to the Statement Park today, Mommy."
MEDICAL NEWS: We've come a long way!
Clinicians can safely treat pregnant women with breast cancer without adversely affecting the child, according to several breast cancer specialists.
Richard L. Theriault, DO, FACP, presented his encouraging data here during a recent American Medical Association press briefing.
“Treating these women can result in happy mothers and a healthy baby,” he said. Theriault is a professor of medicine in the
department of breast medical oncology at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston.
Although Theriault’s study enrolled a small cohort of 57 pregnant women, American Cancer Society president Carolyn D. Runowicz,
MD, predicted the study would change the way all pregnant women with breast cancer are treated. Most trials will not enroll
pregnant women, Runowicz said. The results of this study are indeed significant, she said.
“In the past, many women were encouraged to terminate their pregnancy or avoid any sort of cancer treatment until after the
delivery of their child. It became an ethical dilemma — should there be a focus on the health of the unborn child or the
health of the mother?” Theriault said in a prepared statement. “We can now say that the ethical dilemma has been eliminated.
We can safely and successfully treat the disease with a positive outcome for both the patient and the baby.”
About one in 3,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with cancer while pregnant, according to the NCI. Experts
expect this incidence to increase as women delay child bearing, according to Theriault.
There are many obstacles to caring for these high-risk patients. Few physicians have experience treating these women, so there
is a dire need for a standardized ethical framework. Centers should incorporate a team-oriented approach to treatment. The
decision-making team should include the patient, obstetrician, oncologist, a nurse and other specialists, Theriault said.
Attitudes toward cancer and pregnancy can serve as obstacles to quality care, as well. Some physicians might feel as though
they cannot treat the cancer because of the pregnancy, Theriault said. Pregnant women also need to be counseled. Many worry
that the cancer could spread to the unborn child or that pregnancy hormones could stimulate cancer growth. Additional concerns
include fetal death, intrauterine growth retardation, premature delivery, fetal malformations and potential long-term adverse
events.
Some physicians recommend that women with breast cancer terminate the pregnancy, however those who have had trouble becoming
pregnant in the first place, will not accept this solution. Other women opt for surgical resection with fetal monitoring which
is safe during all trimesters, according to Theriault. Surgeons will try to conserve as much of the breast as possible and will
not administer radiotherapy until after delivery.
Radiotherapy generally is not recommended for pregnant women at any time. However the fetus is at increased risk as it matures
because it moves closer to the site of breast radiation.
There is limited data regarding the administration and success of chemotherapy during pregnancy, as pregnant women are not
typically enrolled in clinical trials. Data are exceptionally sparse for newer targeted therapies as well, according to Theriault.
Theriault explained how he and his colleagues at MD Anderson typically treat pregnant women with breast cancer.
First, they evaluate the patient and her family’s values, beliefs and needs. All women undergo a physical examination, mammography
and a breast ultrasound. Next, clinicians check for metastases. If the cancer has spread to a site proximal to the uterus, the
patient and health care team discuss further treatment options.
Clinicians perform standard tumor-node-metastases staging. Most patients under Theriault’s care present with stage-II and -III
disease and most are hormone-receptor–negative and negative for the HER2/neu oncogene.
It is important that all women receive standard prenatal care. Clinicians should perform a baseline fetal ultrasound prior
to treatment, and evaluate fetal growth before each cycle of chemotherapy. The timing of delivery is important, as well,
Theriault said. Patients should deliver three weeks after they complete their last course of chemotherapy. If the fetus is
mature, an obstetrician will induce labor or perform a Cesarean delivery.
At MD Anderson, Theriault and colleagues examined 57 pregnant women with invasive breast cancer and a mean age of 33.5 years.
After the first trimester, women received standard IV 5-fluorouracil, adriamycin and cyclophosphamide (FAC) every 21 to 28 days:
500 mg/m2 of 5-fluorouracil on days one and four, 50 mg/m2 of adriamycin and 500 mg/m2 of cyclophosphamide on day one.
The mean age at the time of delivery was 37 weeks. About half of live births in the Unites States are of a 37- to 39-week gestational
age, Theriault said. The average baby weighed in at 6.4 lbs, whereas most babies born 37 to 39 weeks are between 6.8 lbs and
8.7 lbs.
In the current cohort, 57% of babies were delivered vaginally and 39% were delivered Cesarean. Four percent of women are still
pregnant, Theriault said.
Of the women who delivered, 63% reported no neonatal complications. Twenty-eight percent of newborns had breathing difficulties.
Three congenital anomalies occurred. One child had Down’s syndrome and another child had a clubbed foot; both anomalies were
not attributable to chemotherapy, Theriault said. The third child presented with congenital bilateral ureteral reflux, which
could have been due to the chemotherapy, but researchers were not sure. Between 3% and 4% of newborns have an abnormality in
the kidneys or ureters.
The longest follow-up has been 15 years, according to the study. Overall, 97% of parents or guardians have reported normal
development compared with siblings or other children. Five percent have reported attention deficit disorder in their children.
The mothers have experienced positive outcomes, as well, with 75% alive without recurrence. There was one death due to a pulmonary
embolism following a Caesarean delivery. In general, there was no apparent difference in treatment outcomes compared with
nonpregnant patients with similar disease characteristics.
Theriault’s initial interest in breast cancer during pregnancy arose when his clinic began seeing pregnant women who did not
want to terminate their pregnancy because of their breast cancer.
“They wanted information on what we knew about treatment, and how we can help them without jeopardizing their pregnancy,” he
said. “We formalized a program in the hope of tracking these women and collecting as much data as possible to make the
decision-making process easier,” Theriault said.
source: Hem/Onc Today
Tuesday August 8, 2006
We drove to Charlotte yesterday and my appointment was this afternoon. We're home now, but the travel this time was harder
than normal on my body. I'm pleased with the outcome of the visit, and will update with details tomorrow.
Today I am grateful for the wisdom of a competent, thorough, compassionate physician.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday August 7, 2006
"Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody."
Today I am grateful for the light in an eight-year-old's eyes, over the acquisition of her very own Happy Meal toy (yogurt in place of fries, please).
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday August 6, 2006
Back to school also means new haircuts!
Abigail had been wanting her hair short for quite some time. She's going into 3rd grade, and at age eight, she is becoming
very aware of all things "girlie". the new look
Today I am grateful for Chutes & Ladders victory kisses.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday August 5, 2006
Because "Toy Story" just never goes out of style.... playing dress up
Today I am grateful that I was spared the horror of personal loss on 9/11.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday August 3, 2006
Frank's brother is here to visit for a few days. The girls are crazy for him. Even though we don't see him often enough,
it's always like no time has passed at all when we see him.
Today I am grateful for little girls who love their uncle, unconditionally.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday August 2, 2006
"Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more."
(For those of you wondering about my test results---my appointment was rescheduled for August 8th.)
Today I am grateful for Abigail's Kids Meal from Wendys--nuggets with a side of yogurt and granola.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday August 1, 2006
Some of you may know that I was interviewed during the 3Day walks. We spent time walking together and shared lunch. I also spent
time with the author via telephone-- for a book about Breast Cancer and the 3Day Walks. My part involves breast cancer during pregnancy.
I am happy to say that the project has now come to fruition, and the book will be published in September. It's titled Foot Soldiers: Stories from
the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk.
I feel humbled, honored, and flattered to be part of this project. If you are interested in seeing more, or pre-ordering a
copy at a reduced price, just follow this link: limited time preorders, for discount
If you live local (and need no shipping charges), or wish to pay with a method of payment other than paypal,
please email me your order request. carolynn@pinkribbonmiracle.com
Today I am grateful for the purr of a content cat.
Thank you God, for another day.
Today I am grateful for the privilege to live in the home of my dreams. I recognize that I am blessed.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday July 30, 2006
School supplies and backpacks have been bought, and the girls are eagerly counting down the days for school to begin.
They love to play school, and enjoy learning. 25 more days, girls!
Today I am grateful for the smell of my stargazer lilies as I walk up the front steps.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 29, 2006
My test results are all back, and on Monday afternoon I'll drive to Charlotte to meet with Dr. Fulp the following day. I do know
that the biopsies from my stomach and esophagus came back clear, but he still wants to review the other test results and
consult with me. I remain optimistic about the entire situation.
Today I am grateful for Wissotzky tea and McVities Digestives.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 28, 2006
"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit."
Today I am grateful for the exquisite beauty of nature.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 27, 2006 Hannah-ism: Over dinner, I looked at Frank and said just three words, simply because I like how they sound.
Me: "Captain Jack Sparrow"
Hannah: (who has obviously seen the movie trailer on television) "Are you talking about Carrots of the Pirabbean?"
Me: "What did you say?"
Hannah: (realizing her faux pas and laughing) "I mean Pirates of the Caribbean!"
Today I am grateful for the red Pathfinder that pulls in my driveway. That means my Dad is here.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday July 26, 2006
Carolynn's Crew Germany now has nine members! I am thrilled to see family and friends band together like this! (see team
list above) Kudos to Alex for ALL of the wonderful things she is doing to spread awareness in her own country. Alex, you
have been a wonderful friend and inspiration!
Today I am grateful for cool, fresh red raspberries with whipped creme.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 25, 2006
On May 17, 2004 I started closing my journal entries each day with six words. "Thank you God, for another day." The power
of the written word, I believe, reinforces what we feel. Today, I want to begin another daily entry. GRATITUDE.
This is certainly not a new concept, and people have used gratitude journals for a very long time. I try within myself to
be grateful, every day. Sometimes it's for the big things, like the salvation of my life, both physically and spiritually.
Other times, it's for something much smaller, or simpler. I now want to acknowledge that gratitude with the written word.
We can all use a reminder that we have so many things to be thankful for.
"Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies. "
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. "
"There but for the grace of God go I."
Today I am grateful for the soft touch of a child's small hand on my cheek and her little lips kissing my forehead.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 24, 2006
Ford Cares--Warriors in Pink. Click logo above for details.
I love the sound of the warrior drum beat in the background. Participate in the Virtual Quilt
and More.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday July 23, 2006
Startling Statistic-- 100% of American children will be obese (meaning 20 pounds or more over their recommended weight) by 2044 (and 100% of American adults by 2058) if the rise in obesity
continues without abating.
Focus on teaching children to take care of the INSIDE of their bodies, and the rest will follow. It's about health, not appearance.
Thank you God, for another day.
ACTION ALERT: From The Susan G. Komen Foundation
Early this week, the outlook was grim for federally funded cutting-edge breast cancer research. A bill
in the Senate proposed funding cuts of almost $13 million to the innovative Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program
(DoD BCRP). But a Senator from Iowa, Tom Harkin, made a bold move to prevent two consecutive years of funding cuts for this
critical program. Senator Harkin proposed an amendment to restore funding for the program to $150 million, and his stellar
efforts sent a message to Congress that saving lives from breast cancer must be a national priority.
Komen Champions for the CureTM worked the phones, calling Members of the Appropriations Committee in support of the increased
funding. And their efforts paid off. The amendment was added to the bill without debate, and will go to the full Senate for
a vote as early as July 31.
This is certainly an encouraging step forward in the war on breast cancer, but we can't let up now. We must continue our hard
work to get this legislation passed. We're up against the House version of the bill, which includes funding cuts of $12.5 million
from last year (and $35 million from 2005 funding). When the Conference Committee meets to reconcile the House and Senate
versions of the bill, we will be calling on eChampions who have Congressional representatives on the Committee to help us
secure funding the critical $150 million.
We have made significant progress toward our goal of eradicating breast cancer, but we have a long way to go. The DoD Breast
Cancer Research Program is addressing needs that are not met by any other federal programs. We hope you will help us save this
program by advocating for the funding it needs to sustain this cutting-edge research.
Saturday July 22, 2006
Main Street Moments, the annual town festival, was held today. Lots of freebies for the girls, including "nurses caps" from the local hospital.
They had fun throwing darts at balloons. Hannah was three for three. Abigail missed her first throw, but made up for it
by busting two balloons at once on her second attempt! Hannah hits the mark Abigail gets a two-for-one
They also had face painting done: Abigail chose a frog Hannah picked a sun umbrella
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 21, 2006
Two nights in my own bed has helped my body recover from the trip fairly well. By my own choice (and support of my doctor) of
not taking high doses of a daily medication to control the fibromyalgia, I focus on lifestyle adjustments and then take meds as needed.
For the most part, this approach is working well, and I cannot expect too be pain free at all times. Excess travel or extended periods
of time on my feet without rest will trigger the flare up, but after a couple days and a medication, it seems to settle to a more
manageable level.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 20, 2006
"Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday July 19, 2006
"Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact."
Today I discovered that radioactive scrambled eggs taste much better than drinking chalk. The stomach emptying survey was much simpler
than I had imagined, only time consuming. Now all of my tests are behind me. I made the drive home, but after three trips to Charlotte in
eight days, that final drive pushed my body over the edge. Tonight the fibromyalgia pain is most intense. It's time for me
to take some additional medication tonight and rest my body. I had planned for many weeks to visit my brother Michael on Friday, but
now I see that is unlikely to happen. My body needs a couple days rest, and then I expect to feel much better. Thank you God,
for another day.
Tuesday July 18, 2006
I didn't sleep well last night, as the cramping continued. Today was a "free" day for me, so I went to one of the local malls.
It's the same one Frank and I used to go to every Wednesday, years ago when we lived in Charlotte. I took a quick drive to the theatre,
and was just in time to catch a matinee. It was the first time in many years I had been to a movie alone, and I did quite enjoy
the solitude. Tonight my stomach pain has lessened considerably. I'll try to be in bed early, because tomorrow I will need to
leave by 6:00am (I'll be hitting the morning traffic) to get to the hospital for my 7:15 appointment.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 17, 2006
I had to be at the hospital at 9:30 this morning and the test started without delay. The challenge was to drink two large
bottles of barium, which is thick and chalk-like. It's almost impossible for me to hold that quantity of any liquid, but I
did manage to get it down. Several x-rays were taken at varying intervals, and then a radiologist performed an examination
somewhat like an ultrasound. I was also required to lay on my stomach, where a balloon-type device was inflated beneath me.
It pressed upwards into my stomach and he took several images. I've had to drink a lot of water, and by tonight the cramping
is fairly intense. I need to get this out of my system by tomorrow, since the next test is early Wednesday morning.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday July 16, 2006
This trip to Charlotte was by myself. Frank needed to work, I am not apprehensive about the next tests nor do they require sedatives.
I am very comfortable traveling alone, having done it for many years in my former career. The drive down was uneventful, and I
am comfortably settled into Pen's home. It's cozy and peaceful, and I hear the sounds of ponds and fountains in the front and back.
At the same time I can look out the front door and clearly see the Carolina Panther's Stadium. That black panther holds many
fond memories for me, and my connection to Sam Mills.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 15, 2006
No sleep last night, which has caused the fibromyalgia to show itself, especially in my hips. I felt very weak and still not
clear headed most of the day. This was definitely a different sedative that I had taken in the past. After a reasonable intake
of food, by evening my strength was starting to return. Tomorrow afternoon I'll drive to Charlotte for my last tests on Monday
and Wednesday. Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 14, 2006
The EGD was done this morning and then we drove home. Heavily sedated, I was in bed until 7:30pm--during which time I was sleeping or
barely coherent. Frank spoke with Dr. Fulp after the procedure and said he removed one polyp and did a couple biopsies. Otherwise, he saw
no obvious problems. When I see him, I will ask what would be causing the polyps to form, since I just had four removed
in October. It will take about ten days to get test results and pathology back, and then I'll have a follow-up appointment
with him. Because of the sedation, I can't take my usual night time meds, and after sleeping most of the day, I fear there will
be no sleep for me tonight.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 13, 2006
We are now leaving for another trip to North Carolina. My EGD is tomorrow morning. I pray that God will use this physician's eyes
and knowledge to find a diagnosis.
Wednesday July 12, 2006
"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars."
Radiology called and my other tests are now scheduled. In addition to the EGD in two days, I'll have the small bowel series on Monday
and the stomach emptying study on Wednesday. The hospital is three and a half hours away, and we've decided it would be too
hard on my body to try and come home Monday and then go back on Tuesday night. As it stands, Frank and I will go down tomorrow
evening, for my EGD on Friday. Since I'll be sedated, I cannot take myself to this appointment. We'll come home Friday evening.
On Sunday afternoon, I'll go back down, this time alone. I'll have a test the next morning, and then stay over until Wednesday
morning for the final test. I'll be home Wednesday evening.
I'm very glad that things are progressing quickly and appreciate their sense of urgency.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 11, 2006
I'm back home tonight. I took pain medication last night on the way down to Charlotte, and tonight on the way home. It's
a "preventative" for me with the fibromyalgia. I experience less flare-up from travel that way. It does relieve the ache when
the fibro really kicks in and helps rest my muscles.
I have another EGD on Friday. Of course this is in Charlotte, so we have another road trip Thursday night. I want Dr. Fulp himself
to look at me, even though I had one in October by another gastro locally. The last EGD revealed polyps in my stomach which
were removed, so that's definitely something he will check.
I'm waiting for radiology to schedule two other tests-- A small bowel series (BARIUM) to check the stomach and small intestine, and Stomach Emptying Survey (NUCLEAR MEDICINE). For
the stomach emptying survey, I will eat an egg or oatmeal with a tag in it and they will watch it travel through my stomach,
to see if my stomach is emptying properly.
I am very comfortable with this course of action.
He was pleased with my role in all of this. I eat 3-4 fruits every day, plenty of whole grains, and my fiber intake
averages 35g, sometimes as much as 41g, and NEVER lower than 30g in a day. That amount would be too much for the average person,
but apparently my digestive system requires it. He did say he had never had a patient make such changes so quickly and
completely. If you know me at all, you know I want to bear no responsibility if my health is poor and I told him exactly that. I
believe you forfeit the right to complain if you are behaving in a way that contributes to the problem. I'm also not interested in
taking a host of medications.
We're not repeating the colonoscopy, because although I had a polyp in 2004, last fall my colon was clear. My super high
fiber diet seems to have resolved the colon issues, at least for the most part.
Thank you all for your prayers. In the end, God will decide if I am to be healed. I ask you to continue to pray on my behalf.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday July 10, 2006
Amanda Hamilton passed away on Friday, and her funeral is today. At the tender age of 24, cancer took her life. She fought
hard and her positive attitude never wavered. As fellow believers, her family knows she is now in heaven. My heart aches for
this loss. Jean and family, I send my love.
"Life only demands from you the strength you possess. Only one feat is possible — not to have run away."
"Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the
second blessing that we mortals are capable of; a blessing that money cannot buy."
We are leaving now to drive to Charlotte. My appointment is tomorrow. The last five days have been very long, and
I am eager to proceed with Dr. Fulp, whom I still fully believe to be the right physician for me. Thank you God,
for another day. surprise found in our luggage from Abigail
Sunday July 9, 2006
Time is too slow for those who wait
Too swift for those who fear
Too long for those who grieve
Too short for those who rejoice
But for those who love--time is eternity.
Hannah-ism: Hannah had her ears pierced several months ago, but never wanted to change her earrings. She was afraid it
would hurt and had decided she would wait until she was 42 years old. (That's my age, and lots of her plans are for age "forty-two")
My Mom had bought her "real gold" crosses and she still wouldn't put them in. Finally, she agreed. I promised her it wouldn't hurt,
and we could just try one. We successfully got both of them in, with no problem.
Hannah: "They're pretty!"
Me: "See? I told you it wouldn't hurt."
Hannah: "Of course not, I'm five!"
Me: "They look beautiful."
Hannah: "When I wear them, people will know I love Jesus."
Me: "That's right, they will. And that makes Jesus happy." cross earrings and a sister who is quickly growing up
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 8, 2006
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday July 7, 2006
Unfortunately, I am counting the days until Tuesday when I return to the doctor. I am now back to the point where my
stomach hurts almost 100% of the time, yet I can see no change in my food log to explain what has happened. I am confident
that Dr. Fulp will know what to do next with testing. Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday July 6, 2006
"We are nearer neighbors to ourselves than the whiteness of snow or the weight of stones to us: if man does not know himself,
how should he know his functions and powers?" Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday July 5, 2006
My Uncle and Aunt left today, to return to England. It's been so nice to have them here. As I wrote last year when they made their
first visit-- Bob is very special to me, probably more so than he is even aware. He is the man I had created in my mind for many years,
almost a fantasy. At the time, I thought I was creating an image of my granddad, but in reality, it was my Uncle. I could
not be happier that thirty-plus years worth of imagination came to be reality.
Without a doubt, Abigail and "Auntie Sue" would be fast friends had they been able to stay longer.
Godspeed to you both, you're already missed. a quick shot at Mom's before they left
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday July 4, 2006
Happy Independence Day!
Thank you God, for the many freedoms we take for granted, and thank you for another day.
Monday July 3, 2006
Please pray for Amanda Hamilton. Several months ago, this mid-twenties newlywed (and daughter of my friend and radiologist Jean, also
a breast cancer survivor) was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer. It had spread to her liver, but she was responding fairly well to treatment.
We have just learned that the cancer has now metastasized to her brain, and she underwent emergency surgery. The next five days are
critical, as they attempt to administer radiation daily.
Ours is not to question "why", but trust that God is in control of the master plan. I know her family believes. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday July 2, 2006 Hannah-ism: "Mommy, when can I milk a cow?"
Me: "I'm not sure if we know anyone who has one."
Hannah: "Well, I want to. With Daddy."
Me: "Ok, I'll ask Poppy if he knows someone who has a cow."
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday July 1, 2006 EXPOSE THE TRUTH: In the U.S., a woman will die from breast cancer, on average, every 13 minutes. We must stop this, here
and around the world. Research today saves lives tomorrow.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 30, 2006
Over the past two weeks, my stomach has begun to hurt more often. It seems I have hit a plateau on what is being managed and I can't get
beyond that point. Of the two very different gastro problems I had, one seems to be under control, after further dietary
changes through diligent logging. The fire at the base of my ribs/upper stomach has not been alleviated. I had days where my stomach didn't hurt, and the evenings
were no longer intolerable. Uncomfortable, but I was no longer staring at the clock, watching each minute pass until it was
"late enough" to just go to bed. The problems hadn't totally left, but that familiar fire is beginning to return almost daily.
My follow-up appointment with Dr. Fulp is a week from Tuesday, and we'll move forward with the next plan. This two month period was vital,
if nothing more than trial and error to determine to what degree I could feel better. I'm glad we did it, but now I am
ready to see him again. Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 29, 2006
"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight."
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS: Chronic pain remains a part of daily life for many cancer patients and survivors. In an effort to address
this issue, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, the Lance Armstrong Foundation (LAF) and the American Cancer Society
(ACS) recently announced the joint funding of a nationwide project to evaluate pain management policies. read more here
Wednesday June 28, 2006
"It is in solitude that the works of hand, heart and mind are always conceived, and in solitude that individuality must
be affirmed." Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday June 27, 2006
My immune system seems to be showing signs of a breakdown somewhere, just like last year. I haven't made any drastic changes
to my routine, but something's going on, regardless. If this continues much longer, I know I'll have to go for more blood work.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday June 26, 2006
Although nothing is happening in my life currently that I fear, I found this quote very powerful.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over
me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to its path. Where the fear has gone there will be
nothing. Only I will remain."
Saturday June 24, 2006
Five years ago today a miracle was born. Five years ago today I was in the midst of chemo, fighting for two lives.
Today I rejoice for lives spared. Thank you God, for your healing power, your constant peace, and thank you for
another day. the five year old miracle Over the Hedge! Hannah's tree, annual pic
Friday June 23, 2006
It stormed early this morning. I love the sound of thunder and falling rain. It's just a good day for quotes.
"Refuse to criticize, condemn, or complain. Instead, think and talk only about the things you really want."
"In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most
difficult way is, in the long run, the easiest."
"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or
the help of others; it is in yourself alone."
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 22, 2006
Testing vegetables (cruciferous, etc.) is not going well, and I've only had a couple that didn't cause that familiar fire I'd grown accustomed to
feeling. Other than the vegetables, I would say that my stomach problems had improved considerably--until last week.
I don't know why, but for almost a week now, my stomach has started hurting more often again. I go back to Dr. Fulp in just
over two weeks for the next follow-up. I do know that today was heat induced, or at least worsened by the heat. We hit
91 degrees today. Heat is not my friend.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: The little girl that turns five on Saturday, is going on thirteen---
Hannah: "Ask me how do I stay so cool."
Me: "How do you stay so cool?"
Hannah: "I just do, it's my groove."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Hannah: "Yeah, I stay happy."
Tuesday June 20, 2006
I just saw that another local Relay for Life is doing a "Paint the Town Purple" event in a neighboring city.
This is a popular theme all across the country for cancer awareness, and we had originally planned a "Paint the Town Pink"
for Tazewell this year. Our plans are to get that solidified for 2007. Thank you God, for another day.
Monday June 19, 2006
"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success."
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday June 18, 2006
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."
To my Dad, whom I love without question, without end-- and to my husband, who loves unconditionally, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
Thank you God, for another day. forever daddy's girl morning surprise for daddy
Saturday June 17, 2006
Flowers are blooming everywhere, as each phase of the flower beds come into season. We've added a few more fish to the pond
this year as well. This is one of the most peaceful parts of the outdoors for me. the ponds
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 16, 2006
Sometimes I watch them play, when they don't know I am there. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe they're my own. Thank
you God, for another day. bathtub smiles
Thursday June 15, 2006
It's been years since they told her about it
The darkness her body possessed
And the scars are still there in the mirror
Everyday that she gets herself dressed
Though the pain is miles and miles behind her
And the fear is now a docile beast
If you ask her why she is still running
She'll tell you it makes her complete
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife
I run for you and me my friend, I run for life
It's a blur since they told me about it
How the darkness had taken its toll
And they cut into my skin and they cut into my body
But they will never get a piece of my soul
And now I'm still learning the lesson
To waken when I hear the call
And if you ask me why I am still running
I'll tell you I run for us all
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife
I run for you and me my friend, I run for life
And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her, remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers
Running for more
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife
I run for you and me my friend, I run for life
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday June 14, 2006
"Personal leadership is not a singular experience. It is, rather, the ongoing process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be
congruent with those most important things." Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday June 13, 2006
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday June 11, 2006
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty
is revealed only if there is a light from within." Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday June 10, 2006
Woohoo! Carolynn's Crew Walkers are ALL among the top 50 fundraisers!! Our team of three walkers is ranked number FOUR of all teams
registered to date! (Lori is undergoing foot surgery and unable to be with us this year) Thank you, my friends. Year five
will be very special for us, in many ways! Thank you God, for another day.
Friday June 9, 2006
"Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so
many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever." Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 8, 2006
Today was a special day for the girls. It was Awards Day at school for Abigail. She received ribbons and certificates, but was most proud
of her Accelerated Reader award. By surpassing her yearly reading goal, she was awarded a gold medal. We love you Mrs. Kitts Abigail in gold
Hannah wrapped up her first t-ball season with a year end party. Pizza and a trophy! Coach Don & Cynthia another trophy!
Thank you God, for another day.
MEDICAL NEWS: FDA OKs first cervical cancer vaccine! Studies show virtually all cases of cervical cancer are caused by a virus known as human papillomavirus, or HPV.
"If everyone would get the vaccine and the vaccine would work as well as it has in the trials, you might get up to a 70 percent reduction in cervical cancer," Dr. Kevin Ault
of Emory University School of Medicine said. The American Cancer Society hailed the approval as "one of the most important advances in women's health in recent years."
Wednesday June 7, 2006
Mom's oldest brother and his wife, Bob and Sue, will be coming today from England. They'll be staying a month, as they
did last year. I love having them around, and eagerly await their arrival. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday June 6, 2006
"We cannot control the evil tongues of others; but a good life enables us to disregard them."
Thank you God, for a good life, and thank you for another day.
Monday June 5, 2006
I have five weeks left before I return to Dr. Fulp's office. Since my initial visit, I have definitely made progress.
My stomach doesn't hurt on some days. It doesn't hurt EVERY night anymore. My tolerable foods list has grown slightly, I'm back on vitamins
and taking Boniva, so far with no ill effects. I now face the final part of the plan--and one that is most difficult. I have to
attempt to eat the foods that hurt me the most (but are also healthy). It's a difficult process to make yourself eat something
that has the potential to make you sick for three days, but I know it has to be done. This will be the true measure of my
progress and also what determines if we will have to pursue the possibility of intestinal adhesions and surgery.
I accept that I will always have strict dietary limitations. I will probably always have to travel with food. That's fine
with me, as long as I can attain a reasonable quality of life.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday June 4, 2006
Carolynn's Crew Walkers have just passed an amazing milestone! $150,000 raised for breast cancer education, screening,
and research! My sincere gratitude to all of you who have been, and/or continue to be, a part of this amazing journey!
Thank you God, for another day.
The girls participated in their first cancer walk today! One of the main sponsors was Clinch Valley Medical Center, the
hospital where I had my children, my surgeries, my chemo--home base of my beloved Dr. Stefanini.
CVPI, where the girls pediatrician and some of my other physicians are located, sponsored a Children's Walk. The children's
group raised over $1000. I'm so proud to see my girls doing something like this! You guys were awesome!!
Thank you God, for another day. ~their new shirts~~coloring the banner~~survivor tent~ ~ready...~~rounding the turn~~still going~ ~completed banner~~they did it!~
Friday June 2, 2006
"Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is."
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday June 1, 2006
It seems I am able to tolerate the new vitamins, and today I took the next step--to deal with the osteoporosis. My first
dose of Boniva was this morning. This is the once monthly pill rather than the Actonel which I took weekly until the end of February.
Although doctors and pharmacists believed the medications I took would not hurt me, it is now believed that Actonel (and
other meds) may have been contributing to my existing stomach problems, making everything worse--so I pray I can take this med successfully.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: "If I could wish on a falling star, I'd wish that restaurants could just get it right." it's all Bratz! me and my puff
Wednesday May 31, 2006
HAPPY EIGHTH BIRTHDAY, ABIGAIL! You are growing up so fast, and each day you are more beautiful than the day before. I love
you!
Thank you God, for the gift of my firstborn, and thank you for another day. my little glamour girl her lilac, annual picture
Tuesday May 30, 2006
We seem to have moved from Winter to Summer and skipped Spring. Just over a week ago, we had two surprise frosts--but yesterday and today
were 85 and 90 degrees! We added a few more fish to the ponds, created one new bed in the back, and I worked on getting the
deck set back up, pots and decor are out, and now it's time to pick up the annuals for the deck, front porch and accents in
existing beds. I'm excited to get it done! Thank you God, for another day.
Monday May 29, 2006
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday May 28, 2006 Hannah-ism: Because sometimes it's just hard to remember the correct names of things when you are four years old...
"I saw a grandfather big legs outside!"
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday May 27, 2006
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
"Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix."
"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."
"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that
things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring
because the challenge exists to make things better."
I've always believed that change is a good thing.
Six months ago, I made a major life change. It involved adjusting my work load and reprioritizing my commitments. It also meant
separating myself from the sheer number of people who had access to my life, many of which often made unreasonable demands
of me--and more than a few who were never genuine with their words and actions.
When I made the decision, it felt right. I was confident. As I look back six months later, I am even more certain that it
was right. I have my family and a small, close circle of friends. My life is better because of that change, and I look forward to what the future will continue to bring.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday May 26, 2006 Hannah-ism: Last week, Hannah informed me that she wasn't going to have babies. I told her that she may change
her mind, once she gets older.
Tonight she said, "Mommy, I decided I'm going to have babies."
Me: "That's good. You've got plenty of time, though."
Hannah: "Yeah, my sister can't be my baby, so I'll get one in my belly. (pause) How does that happen, anyway?"
Me: "Well, after you get married, you can ask Jesus to give you one."
Hannah: "Oh, so if you get a husband, anyone can get a baby?"
Me, wanting to avoid further discussion: "Well, you don't even have to worry about that until you're thirty."
Hannah: "Or maybe even forty-two!" (my age)
Me: "That sounds great!"
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday May 25, 2006
Congratulations, Hannah! Two years of preschool, and tonight you graduated! This fall you'll be in the same school
as Abigail. I'm proud of you, little bumblebee. Thank you God, for another day. ~my little graduate~~she did it!~~Ms. Donnetta & Ms. Jackie~~proud girl~
Please remember your daily click, especially this week! (click logo below)
Wednesday May 24, 2006
"He doesn't tell me how to live; he lives, and lets me watch him do it."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! I love you so very much!
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday May 23, 2006
We spent three days just relaxing...we went for drives, took in a couple movie matinees, and even hung out in the hotel in the
evenings. We didn't have to be anywhere at any time and the freedom was much welcomed. It was a perfect trip, but it was wonderful to see the smiling faces of my daughters tonight when we arrived home.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday May 21, 2006
"Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends."
Happy Tenth Anniversary, baby....I love you more with each passing day. Thank you God, for the man I thought
could only be a dream, and thank you for another day.
Before we left yesterday, we stopped by Mom & Dad's house to say goodbye. Mom surprised me with a scrapbook that
she made for us, with the ten year history of our marriage. I have looked through it three times, and still
can't get through it without crying. It really is a work of art, and a labor of love.
On the way to Roanoke, we stopped in Christiansburg to surprise my youngest brother. He was participating
in his first festival, selling Bee-Boo's BBQ! (His primary career is in computers, this is an additional venture) It was a true success. I am so proud of you, Beav! Beav & Tim I love my "baby" brother
Saturday May 20, 2006
Today Frank and I are leaving for three nights, and tomorrow is our tenth wedding anniversary. We've been really looking forward
to this trip. May is a busy month for family celebrations and we don't usually take the time we should to acknowledge our
anniversary. The hotel has arranged for a refrigerator and I will be able to travel with the foods I need to eat. Thank
you God, for another day.
Friday May 19, 2006
The Crew is continuing to have success with their individual fund raising. We've all met our minimum requirements, and waiting for
other checks to be posted. Through word of mouth direct contact and letters, we've brought in almost $6,000 so far. That's a
great accomplishment since we aren't running any large events this year, and I am so proud of everyone. We will continue to raise money
until we walk this fall. For those of you that have donated, I thank you. Your support is our success, your support saves
lives. Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: "Sable and Silver (our cats) have batteries, Mommy."
Me: "They do?"
Hannah: "Yeah. When I'm down at this end, and they are up the hall, and I look at them, their eyes glow. That's how I know
they have batteries."
Thursday May 18, 2006
Today I started back on vitamins, but not ultra-mega doses like I used to take. After a week or so, if I have no problems,
I'll try my first dose of Boniva, the once monthly treatment for osteoporosis. Dr. Fulp has recommended that I try it (after
dropping the once weekly Actonel in March) and Dr. Mullins also agrees that this may be a better option for me. Thank you
God, for another day.
Wednesday May 17, 2006
"Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday May 16, 2006
How nice to be awakened by a smiling little brown-eyed girl, presenting me with raspberries and cream for breakfast in bed---
and lunch together in the school cafeteria with a chocolate cupcake surprise for her, what could be better? I love you, Puff!
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday May 15, 2006
Today's Curves workout was easier, I'm starting to get closer to the intensity I had built to before.
The morning temps have been in the forties, and we're only hitting the fifties for highs, accompanied by random
rain. Although Spring color is around us, I am freezing!
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday May 14, 2006
"If I had a flower for each time I thought of My Mother, I could walk in my garden forever."
Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you.
Thank you God, for another day. Mom & Me, today
It's All Abigail: Abigail presented me with many special gifts she made at school. My favorite was one in which
she answered various questions--in particular, "What would you want your Mom to teach you?" Her answer, "How to be a Mom."
Saturday May 13, 2006
I am continuing to follow the doctors directions, but even if one meal is required outside the home, it is very difficult
to meet my daily goals. I am trying to limit my commitments, or when I do have to eat elsewhere, carry "my foods" with
me. Thank you God, for another day.
Friday May 12, 2006
"Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies." Thank you God, for another day.
CORPORATE FUNDRAISER NEWS: Major League Baseball granted permission for players to use colorful bats, baby pink at that, for
Mother's Day. They're part of a weeklong program to raise money for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. "The thought of these big macho men,
swinging pink bats to help women with breast cancer ... what a novel idea," Louisville Slugger president John Hillerich said.
Thursday May 11, 2006
"Be mild with the mild, shrewd with the crafty, confiding to the honest, rough to the ruffian, and a thunderbolt to
the liar. But in all this, never be unmindful of your own dignity." Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday May 10, 2006
From my first consultation with Dr. Fulp in Charlotte, it was determined I had two separate issues--upper digestive AND lower
digestive. The lower problems were a slow functioning colon with cramping, bloating, pain, and a variety of other unpredictable
symptoms. The upper issue was that fire I get, where it feels like something is eating me inside. It's usually in the exact
same spot, just below the center of my ribcage. At times there is another area a bit lower and to the side.
I left his office four weeks ago with three goals:
1. Increase my fiber intake to at least 30g of fiber EVERY day.
2. Eat a minimum of 2-3 fruits EVERY day
3. Try to reintroduce vegetables, which were all hurting me.
For about seven weeks prior to seeing Dr. Fulp, I had been logging my food diligently, trying to find any triggers. I consider
myself to be a healthy eater, and have been for about 4 years. In the past few months, I've taken it further by eliminating
carbonation, etc. During that time, I had increased my fiber intake from about 7-9g per day (that's what most people average)
to about 17g on average. I had days of eating 20g (which was my goal after reading that the recommendation was 20g per day).
It was a slow process, because fiber can really be difficult if increased too quickly.
During the last 4 weeks, I did meet Dr Fulp's first goal. I went from my latest average of about 17g to about 32-35g of
fiber every day. There are definite signs of improvement, but we're not there yet. He thinks we need a bit more time to
let the colon settle into these new eating habits. Four weeks is a short amount of time to adjust to that much of an increase.
Second goal, yes, I'm eating 3 fruits each day, especially berries.
Third goal, I'm still in that process. I've written about the success with spinach and the failure with mushrooms. Dr. Fulp was extremely
pleased with the progress so far, and congratulated me on my efforts. It felt good to hear a doctor give me encouragement.
I decided to pick up my ultrasound, scan, surgical report, and pathology from my gall bladder removal in 1998, in case it
held clues. I'm really glad I did. Dr Fulp reviewed it, and it DID show that I had adhesions back then. It's possible that I
have them in my small intestine, which would result in surgery. We're not at that point, though. I'm not even going to entertain
that thought, we're just too early in the game.
So now we have a plan. For 2 more months, I will continue to eat as he has directed me and keep testing the new and abandoned
foods. This gives my body more time to settle. In 2 months, we see what my level of stomach pain is at that point. If I still
have trouble, he will run "tests that no one has even done on (me) yet".
I am in 100% agreement with him. It means that my family and friends have to understand that I cannot fully participate in
social eating situations--I need to prepare my own foods and make my own choices. It's a small price to pay to get an answer.
I did also address the complicating factors of osteoporosis and fibromyalgia with him, as well as vitamins and supplemental
calcium. (I had dropped all of those meds and vitamins in March) My latest bone density (last month) still shows osteoporosis
in my hips and now also shows in the lumbar spine. At my 'young' age for this disease, I don't think it would be wise to deny my body the medication
I need. In addition, I am still committed to exercise, as I have been since the initial diagnosis in September. (After a seven
week break from Curves because of my stomach, I did start back last week.) Dr Fulp suggests I try the Boniva, which is a once
monthly pill instead of Actonel that I was taking weekly. He also wants me back on vitamins, but only a normal level,
not any that are ultra mega, like I was taking. The third part of that is supplemental calcium. I'll do this slowly, to try
and make sure my stomach can be eased back into the routine. Vitamins by the weekend, and Boniva in a couple weeks. I'll hold for
about a month before I slowly reintroduce the supplemental calcium, because I do believe it was an irritant. Dr. Fulp reminded
me that in a way, this is all new. This is now a body eating about four times the fiber I was eating just less than three months ago.
I'm going to put off dealing with the fibromyalgia meds for as long as possible. The are times that the ache in my muscles is quite painful
and then there are days that I am better. The late afternoon/evenings are the worst for me. Until the pain is intolerable, or my
stomach is "fixed" (which ever comes first) fibro has to go on the back burner, and I'm ok with that.
In the end, I finally have a doctor who is willing to see this through. I know God gave this doctor to me. I had a friend I hadn't
spoken with in years come across my website and journal, and then email me. (I'm forever grateful, Cindy) She has Krohn's
disease and recommended her doctor. THAT'S DR. FULP. I would have never found him without this intervention.
As always, I remain optimistic. Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: "Daddy, when I get a car, will you paint Spiderman on it for me?"
Tuesday May 9, 2006
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."
I successfully completed three Curves workouts last week. With my stomach being upset again, I did not go yesterday, but went
this morning. It's getting easier, but still makes me weary. I plan to go Thursday and Saturday, and I know it will take time
to build back what I lost. We leave this afternoon for Charlotte, and my appointment is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to this meeting with
Dr. Fulp. Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: While running errands today, Hannah asked, "Does Wal-Mart ever close?"
Me: "No, not usually". (Ours are open 24 hours)
Hannah: "Even when everyone is in Heaven?"
Me: "I guess it will close then."
Hannah: Yeah, then we won't need Wal-Mart!"
Monday May 8, 2006
I wish Mom-maw could see "her" tree (bought in memory of her by a friend, I chose the lilac because it reminded
me of her love for violets). The scent is divine. And just this week, the lipstick vine that was hers (and is now
in my living room) bloomed. Thank you God, for another day. Mom-maw's tree, close up Mom-maw's tree Lipstick blooms at last
Sunday May 7, 2006
Trial and error. Two steps forward and one step back will still get me there, just slower. That being said, yesterday I tried to
reintroduce another food that had been eliminated from my diet. This time it was mushrooms, cooked only in a bit of water with a lid,
just enough to steam them. About thirty to forty-five minutes later, I ate a small tilapia filet. No spices, no oils--just broiled.
Within an hour, the intense stomach pains were back. I can't imagine that the fish hurt me, although I thought the mushrooms would be okay as well.
That's the difficulty--it's so unpredictable. I never know for sure what will trigger me. Today I have not tried any new food, so that
I can get my stomach to settle again. I am still feeling encouraged.
"The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication."
To that quote, I would add "faith". Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday May 6, 2006
Yesterday I ate almost a cup of fresh baby spinach. It was one of the foods that I had eliminated from my diet after it had
started hurting my stomach for days. This time I just tossed it with a few fresh raspberries. No dressing of any sort, so I
could pinpoint the cause if there was a problem. Happily, it did NOT make me sick. Another step forward. Thank you God, for another
day.
Hannah-ism: Overheard today, in Hannah's bedroom, with big sister's wisdom. Hannah was looking at the globe.
Hannah: "How do you spell Turkey?"
Abigail: "T-U-R-K-E-Y"
Hannah: "Where is it?"
Abigail: "It's in Europe, Hannah."
Hannah: "Where's Europe?"
Abigail: "Just keep looking."
Hannah: "What about Peanut?"
Abigail: "There's no peanut, Hannah. I already looked."
Friday May 5, 2006
What may appear to some as commonplace and taken for granted, in reality--for me, these are amazing steps forward. As my stomach problems continued, there
were more foods that hurt me and therefore more foods that I eliminated from my diet. A few bites of certain foods could leave me with
stomach pains lasting as long as 3-4 days. (I have barely any memory of when I could eat like a "normal" person)
I have been unable to eat tuna for more than two years. For two weeks now, I have been eating it again (only the premium
albacore in water)--and it doesn't hurt me anymore! That first taste was so amazing to me. It's now a food I can enjoy
again, and that makes me happier than I can even say. Thank you God, for this gift, for this first step in healing, and
thank you for another day.
Thursday May 4, 2006
I can happily say that I am having moments where my stomach is no longer hurting me. This is extremely encouraging to me, as I
have grown accustomed to constant pain and discomfort. Tomorrow I do have to start reintroducing the vegetables that hurt me the
most, and see how I do with them. Thank you God, for another day.
ACTION ALERT: S. 1955 is officially known as the Health Insurance Marketplace Modernization and Affordability Act. This
bill would nullify all of the American Cancer Society work in the states to guarantee access to mammography, colon cancer
screening, clinical trial participation, off-label drug use and other cancer screenings and treatments.
Please contact your senators!
Click logo below to learn more:
Wednesday May 3, 2006
I made my second trip to Curves today, and this time I was able to complete the workout. Although I did not work at the intensity
I was capable of seven weeks ago, I still did it. Fatigued, but I did it. That's good enough for me, today. Thank you God,
for another day.
Tuesday May 2, 2006
"When you go in search of honey you must expect to be stung by bees."
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday May 1, 2006
It has now been seven weeks since I've been to Curves. My trips from the house are limited, especially in the evenings.
I know the lack of exercise has hurt me, but I had to prioritize my health issues and address things one at a time.
Today, I returned to Curves. Although I only did one circuit instead of two, it felt good to be back. I was quite fatigued,
as I expected. On Wednesday I will attempt the full workout. I will not give up, as I continue to do everything within my own control
to be well. I want to bear no responsibility for doing anything to harm my body. The last six months have been exceptionally
hard. It's in God's hands in the end. I STILL BELIEVE. Thank you God, for another day.
ACTION ALERT: Fund Free Mammograms. Each click is DOUBLED this month!
Sunday April 30, 2006
Ten more days and then I get to see Dr. Fulp again. Although I wasn't expecting to get my test results until that visit,
his nurse did call. CT Scan--normal. MRI--normal. This is an instance where I didn't really want to hear an "all clear".
It's a good news/bad news thing. The nurse said he wanted to stress to me the importance of returning on May 10, because he wants to discuss other issues.
I still have full faith in this physician, and his desire to help me. I have more faith in God, however, and that he will restore
my health. Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday April 29, 2006
It's been a busy week for Hannah. Yesterday she visited the Elementary School with her preschool class, since she'll
be in kindergarten this fall. Exciting Morning!
After some pre-game advice (being a t-ball veteran), Abigail was proud as she cheered her little sister on! Thank you God, for another day.
Friday April 28, 2006
"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot
be taken from you." Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: Yesterday Abigail and I were driving, and passed a cattle truck. "Did you see
that, Mommy? All of those cows had price tags on their ears!"
Thursday April 27, 2006
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are." Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday April 26, 2006
I went to the doctor yesterday, after having almost no voice since Sunday afternoon. I have a sinus infection,
but I was able to take the new "one dose" antibiotic. I specifically requested it, to protect my stomach and yet
still rid myself of the infection. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday April 25, 2006
Very much worth the read...
---
There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a
studious man who taught at a small college in the western United
States. Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in
Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was
required to take this course his or her freshman year, regardless of
his or her major.
Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the
gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the
course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts,
most students refused to take Christianity seriously.
This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve
was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto
seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and
he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center
on the school football team, and was the best student in the
professor's class. One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after
class so he could talk with him.
"How many push-ups can you do?"
Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."
"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said. "Do you think
you could do 300?"
Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."
"Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson.
"Well, I can try," said Steve.
"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I
need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can
you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor.
Steve said, "Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it."
Dr. Christianson said, "Good. I need you to do this on Friday. Let me
explain what I have in mind."
Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the
room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of
donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the
extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone
was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they
were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr.
Christianson's class.
Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked,
"Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?"
Cynthia said, "Yes."
Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do
ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"
"Sure." Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve
again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.
Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do
you want a donut?"
Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten
push-ups so Joe can have a donut?"
Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the
first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got
their donut.
Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott
was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was
very popular and never lacking for female companionship.
When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?",
Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"
Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."
Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."
Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve,
would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"
With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten pushups.
Scott said, "Hey, I said I didn't want one"
Dr. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks,
and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want
it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just
stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be
getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration
coming out around his brow.
Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were
beginning to get a little angry. Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny,
do you want a donut?"
Sternly, Jenny said, "No."
Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more
push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did
ten....Jenny got a donut.
By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students
were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on
the desks. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to
get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool
of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were
beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.
Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the
class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten
pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work
for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve
was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely.
Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class,
however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down
on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room.
When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now
there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would
be able to make it.
Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next.
Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was
taking a lot more time to complete each set.
Steve asked Dr. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each
one?"
Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups.
You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want." And Dr.
Christianson went on.
A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room
and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice,
"NO, don't come in! Stay out!"
Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and
said, "No, let him come."
Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you
will have to do ten pushups for him?"
Steve said, "Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut."
Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of
the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"
Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. "Yes," he said,
"give me a donut."
"Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve
did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered,
was handed a donut and sat down.
Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those
visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with
each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of
gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face,
there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye
in the room.
The very last two students in the room were two young women, both
cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the
second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?"
Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."
Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups
so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the
effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.
Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you
want a donut?"
Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr.
Christianson, why can't I help him?"
Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do it
alone, I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that
everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not.
When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my
grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade.
Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior
work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up
he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my
party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a
deal for your sakes."
"Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve
very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he
had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups,
his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our
Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'into thy
hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done
everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like
some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk,
uneaten."
Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically
exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.
"Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor, adding,
"Not all sermons are preached in words."
Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you might
understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that
have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ. He spared not only His Begotten Son, but gave Him up for
us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we
choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid."
"Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?"
---
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 24, 2006
Sobering Reminder:
Worldwide, breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death for women aged 15 to 64. One in seven women will be diagnosed
with breast cancer in her lifetime. Every 27 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone's mother or sister is diagnosed with
breast cancer. Men are not immune. Every 77 seconds, a life is lost to the disease.
"There is a sense of exhilaration that comes from facing head-on the hard truths and saying, 'We will never give up. We will never capitulate.
It might take a long time, but we will find a way to prevail." Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday April 23, 2006
"Pure truth, like pure gold, has been found unfit for circulation, because men have discovered that it is far more
convenient to adulterate the truth than to refine themselves." Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday April 22, 2006
"There is only one admirable form of the imagination: the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new
reality, that it makes things happen." Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Hannah was showing my Dad her "new" dress. I had purchased it in Chinatown (San Francisco) for Abigail
and now Hannah has grown into it. Poppy asked her "Are you a geisha girl?" and she replied "I'm a vacation girl!"
Friday April 21, 2006
The CT scan was completed this morning. They had actually just purchased a new scanner two weeks previous, so I know they have
the best technology available. I thought the second test was going to be an ultrasound, but it was actually an MRI. These two tests will
give the best detail possible, and now I look forward to May 10. Thank you God, for another day.
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Thursday April 20, 2006
This evening I'll drive to Charlotte, because I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 in the morning. I'm looking forward to
having these done, and truly believe my answers are coming. Very soon. Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday April 19, 2006
"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there."
After recently deciding to move to the Avon Walk this year, the Crew is focusing on individual fundraising contacts, via
personal contact or mailed letters. Although we usually have larger yearly fundraisers as well, most of those are now
in the works for 2007. I am very pleased with everyone's results so far, and the effort they've put into reaching their
goals. Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Hannah found a tiny black beetle (about the size of a pin head) and started talking to him, even letting
him walk on her arm. Later she told Frank, "That little bettle just sat on my arm, trying to scratch a freckle off!"
Tuesday April 18, 2006
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
and all that's nice;
That's what little girls are made of. Abigail on our recent girls getaway
Monday April 17, 2006
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things
you only hoped for." Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism, with Abigail's help: The girls were playing school today, like they do almost every day. When
I walked in the room, they told me I was the principal. Abigail said "Yeah, you're always the principal, Mommy."
Hannah added, "And Daddy's the cafeteria guy!"
Sunday April 16, 2006
Happy Easter...the true meaning of this holiday is revealed, even from the mouth of a four year old. Hannah came to tell me
she was playing a song and it was about "Jesus died on the cross and taking away our sins on the cross and I will trust him."
Thank you God, for your gift of eternal life, and thank you for another day. click here to view my Easter wishes to all of you
Saturday April 15, 2006
It's time to visit the Easter Bunny! Thank you God, for the innocence of a child and thank you for another day. click here to view Easter pic
Friday April 14, 2006
This was the first day of some dietary changes suggested by Dr. Fulp. I do agree with his thought process, although it's
going to get worse before it gets better. It will take my body several days to adjust. In the end, I still believe that
answers will be coming on May 10. Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday April 13, 2006 Hannah-ism: With the help of her leaders, Hannah made a poster at Church with pictures of things she was thankful to Jesus
for. There was a stick figure family drawn, and it clearly represented Daddy, Mommy, and Abigail. The "stick people" were drawn traditionally,
except for mine. They had drawn me wearing a dress. When Hannah brought it home, she showed it to me and said "I don't know why
Miss Pam drew Daddy nekkid. "
Thank you God for another day.
Wednesday April 12, 2006
"I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to
matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday April 11, 2006
I met with Dr. Fulp today for my initial consultation. I feel very comfortable with him, and am optimisitic about him
making a proper diagnosis. On April 21, I am scheduled to return for a very detailed ultrasound and also a CT scan, both of which
will answer a lot of questions. On May 10, I will meet with him again, to get those results and hopefully some answers as well.
In the four week interim, I am to continue logging my food and work on trying to reintroduce some of the abandoned foods, to see
if any of them have become tolerable--at least the vegetables. Thank you Cindy, for this wonderful referral, and thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 10, 2006
All of the x-rays were completed today, so that we can compare them to the latest bone density test, as well as try to
weigh my options for treatment--arthritis, fibromyalgia, and osteoporosis. I want to be able to make an informed decision
and take as little medication as possible. It's all put on hold until I get some resolution for the stomach problems. That's the
priority at the moment, and tomorrow's the day I get to meet with the new gastroenterologist in Charlotte. I have a tremendous amount of peace about this trip.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday April 9, 2006
After visiting another Church this morning, Abigail and I had a bit more fun, then headed back home in time for evening services at our own
Church. She wanted to make sure we had surprises to bring Hannah, and said repeatedly that she couldn't wait to see her.
Frank and Hannah were on the front steps when we arrived home. Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday April 8, 2006
"If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm."
Abigail and I left today for a girls weekend together. We ate out together (chocolate chip pancakes for her, a real treat), went to see Ice Age 2, and then spent an hour in the
hotel's indoor pool. It's been fun to have time alone with her, we don't get it often enough. Tonight she stayed up "extra late" (9:30pm)
then finally conked out. Thank you God for another day. click here to see Abigail
Friday April 7, 2006
"If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you,
you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be."
The doctor has decided to wait on meds, because the culture didn't grow as they suspected. If I show any symptoms they will immediately
call in a strong antibiotic. This is good news, as it gives my stomach more rest from the medications I've already pulled from. I had another bone density done yesterday, and xrays are scheduled for Monday.
That evening, we'll be driving to Charlotte for a Tuesday consultation with a new gastroenterologist. By month's end, I should have a good
feel for what is wrong, and what medications are necessary versus optional. I don't think there will be a choice about the osteoporosis medication I've been on, though. At my "young" age of 42, I
feel they'll want to treat the bone loss as aggressively as they can. As for arthritis and fibromyalgia, I need all of the
facts before I can make a decision with my physicians. Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday April 6, 2006
I had my bloodwork completed. They did a full screen, including fasting cholesterol, glucose, thyroid, and the other general
tests as well. It looks like I am just starting to develop an infection. I'm glad we'll be catching this one early. Tomorrow they'll evaluate
the type it is and start me on medication. This time I'll be treated aggressively, since last year this exact thing started (different physician)
...but moved into my bloodstream and ended with a four day hospital stay. Today's visit was with Dr. Mullins, who has treated me for eight years, so I
am certain I'll be avoiding last year's scenario. Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday April 5, 2006
"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under
pressure." Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday April 4, 2006
"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage."
Happy Birthday, Frank. I love you.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday April 3, 2006
"If you want inner peace find it in solitude, not speed, and if you would find yourself, look to the land
from which you came to which you go." Thank you God, for another day.
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Sunday April 2, 2006
Today was the perfect Spring day, seventy degrees. In the afternoon, the girls rode their bikes.
Hannah is practicing for her bike-a-thon this Friday at preschool, with proceeds going to St. Judes
Childrens Hospital. Abigail is the big girl now, riding without training wheels!
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday April 1, 2006
"He who ascends to mountain tops, shall find
The loftiest peaks most wrapt in clouds and snow;
He who surpasses or subdues mankind,
Must look down on the hate of those below."
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: "Daddy, when I am 42 and I'm a Mom, will I still be in preschool?"
"No, you'll be out of school by then."
"Good, because I don't think I'll fit in those chairs."
Friday March 31, 2006
I think sports are so important, especially for girls. It helps build self-esteem and confidence. I hope mine continue to
show interest. Today Abigail started softball. With three years experience behind her, she was excited and feeling confident. And when
rain forced practice to end early, as a proud Angel she excitedly mimicked her sister --"Softball rocks!"
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 30, 2006
With one season of soccer behind her, this is the first year Hannah is old enough to play t-ball. She had her first practice this evening.
After an hour of catching, throwing, batting and running bases, she ran to the car, a proud Astro, and gave us a high-five--
"T-ball rocks!!"
Thank you God, for another day.
ACTION ALERT: The President's proposed budget for next year includes funding cuts that will impact breast cancer research and services.
While the President does make budget recommendations, Congress will ultimately decide how much money is spent on these
critical programs.
please take 2 minutes and click here to contact Congress
Wednesday March 29, 2006 Hannah-ism: On our way to preschool, I pointed out about fifteen turkeys in the field--"Look Hannah, turkeys!"
"Ooh, I'd like to catch one of those", she said. During a moment of silence that followed, I was picturing her
running after them. A voice then came from the back seat, "I'd cut 'em up and eat 'em! I like turkey!"
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 28, 2006
This is day three of trying probiotics. The plan is that good bacterial balance will be regulated at the end of ten days, which will
be a full week before I see the first new gastroenterologist.
"One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick." Thank you God,
for another day.
Monday March 27, 2006
April 11. Now I have appointments with two highly regarded gastroenterologists. I'm looking forward to starting with a clean
slate. Today I was able to leave the house for the first time in eleven days. I am weak, but I know it was time to push myself, just
a bit. It was tiring, but also gratifying. I've learned my boundaries and my limits throughout this journey. Recently I've made
changes that put me in control, when I need to be--and less accountable to others. That in itself has, and will continue, to help
the recovery process.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday March 26, 2006
After several weeks on one new med, and a couple weeks on a second--I have to come off of them. At this point,
things are not getting better. Not only that, but they are actually getting worse. I do not want to take more medication
than necessary, and this is getting to be too much for my system to handle. By tomorrow, I will have dropped
three prescriptions and go back to taking only the ones I was on about seven months ago. I now have two physician
referrals and while awaiting an appointment I will give my body a rest, in hopes of feeling better. I am also intererested
in pursuing alternative methods and natural approaches to healing, at least for the stomach issues. I'm not giving up.
I STILL BELIEVE.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 25, 2006
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly."
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 24, 2006
"Integrity can be neither lost nor concealed nor faked nor quenched nor artificially come by nor outlived, nor, I believe,
in the long run denied.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 23, 2006
"In order to try whether a vessel be leaky, we first prove it with water before we trust it with wine."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday March 22, 2006
The Crew has some discussed several ideas locally that were planned for this year, but we may shift some of them to 2007, and focus on the current plans. We now have good
contacts with local government officials and businesses who want to help. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 21, 2006
Lori is also scheduled for ANOTHER surgery on her foot. The doctor is planning on putting screws/plates in the top of her foot to fuse the bones. The foot will have very little
if any movement when it's over. Lori lost her mother to breast cancer, around the time I was being treated myself.
Lori is very committed to the cause and is going to work on fundraising for the Crew and offer support where she can. It's just
not possible for her to walk this fall, she'll still be in intense physical therapy. Thank you Lori, I know your heart is in the right place!
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday March 20, 2006
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday March 19, 2006
I've heard from several of you via email who are interested in my health history. Some of you have even gone back and read all
of my journal entries from the beginning. Thank you for your support and concern.
I do encounter physicians who are unsure how to treat me, once they know my entire history. Let me just summarize my experiences over the past five years--
At seven weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I took chemo during my pregnancy and also after delivering a healthy baby. I assumed
that I was "done", and my health would return quickly. I even set goals to be "better than ever". Unfortunately, that didn't happen
for me. Chemotherapy sterilized me, and after further issues and two endometrial biopsies, I had a complete hysterectomy. In the meantime, my port-a-cath
broke and part of the catheter went into my heart. I was immediately taken into a heart facility and the piece was removed safely. Since then, I've had a second mastectomy
that resulted in the good news that the cancer had not returned.
I've had a pre-cancerous polyp removed from my colon, and four skin biopsies. Last year I was hospitalized
with a blood infection for four days. A few months ago I was diagnosed with osteoporosis and fibromyalgia. Most recently polyps were removed from my stomach.
In writing, I realize that this looks like a "lot of stuff", and I guess I have had more than a few bumps along the way. I choose to look
at things in a positive way, and with a sense of humor. Laying down to die was never an option for me.
I have many blessings. My cancer is in remission. My daughter was born healthy. I have another healthy child, and a husband who loves
me more than I deserve. I have friends that support me, unconditionally.
My faith in God remains strong, and I am thankful for the lives that were spared...both mine and that of my daughter.
Do I wish there was an answer to my stomach problems and chronic fatigue? Yes, absolutely. That will come in time....
God's time.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 18, 2006
I haven't left the house since Thursday evening. I am now completely off of one of the meds Dr. Stef wanted me to drop (this was a gradual
stepdown in dose) and have started the new regimen. Now I am waking up extremely nauseous and sleeping even less than I was before.
I have to give these meds time to have the proper effect and sometimes it's just plain trial and error. I'm alive, and I'll get
through this. Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 17, 2006
You have probably already noticed that today, this page looks a little different. As most of you know, last fall I had announced the
move to RFTC (Race For The Cure) for 2006. After speaking with them in advance, it seemed like a good fit for the Crew. They
were eager to have the team attend their event. What they didn't anticipate is how early we start fundraising. As we got
into it more, we quickly realized that the Race For The Cure isn't set up like the other events. I have to say that I FULLY
SUPPORT THE RFTC EVENTS. With the sheer number of participants, it is the largest series of 5K races out there. However, the
registration process doesn't allow early online donations and easily mailed in donations for walkers who rely heavily on word
of mouth or letter fundraising. This isn't just a Charlotte issue, its a RFTC issue. The Race for a Cure will be a successful,
exciting event, but not the best match for ALL of us. Some of the girls are going to continue on with RFTC and/or work direct
with the Charlotte Komen affiliate.
We still have a Crew, led by Alex, doing the German RFTC. I'm so happy about that! This is the second year for us in Germany! Thank you Alex!
After lots of discussion, some of us are going to move to the Avon Walk For Breast Cancer in Charlotte. We're now registered and
ready. My donation link has been added on this page, and our team page should be functioning next week. I'll add those links as well.
In the end, we all want to find a cure. I'm looking forward to another successful fundraising year!! I don't know what October will
hold for me this year...but I know I can raise some money for a worthy cause--whether I am capable of walking it or not.
Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: We have a museum here, and it's called "Crab Orchard Museum".
Yesterday Abigail asked me "Mommy, do you know Anna's mommy?"
"I don't think so, honey, who is it?"
"She works at Crab Oyster Museum"
Thursday March 16, 2006
"Time strips our illusions of their hue,
And one by one in turn, some grand mistake
Casts off its bright skin yearly like the snake."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday March 15, 2006
I'm contacting my fellow walkers and friends, as we decide how to proceed, in the best interest of my health and also benefit
the Crew members themselves. This isn't just about me--and I want a plan that works for everyone. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 14, 2006
"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday March 13, 2006
I am always so happy to spend time talking to Dr. Stefanini. Some of the news was good---I had scans last year and assumed
it was time for them again. At four and a half years in remission, I am now permitted to go every other year for my scans, instead of
annually. That means I can wait til 2007! This is another step in my healing process. Unfortunately, I have other physical
issues to consider. He has presented me with a couple scenarios, including a medication change and a plan to deal with it all.
I will consider it all, and settle on some plan of action very soon. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday March 12, 2006
Fatigue has set in, full throttle. I have made just about all of the physical changes that are within my control. I
exercise and I only eat healthy, nutritious foods. I take my medications and supplements without fail. Tomorrow I will get to
see the one physician I trust implicitly. Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism, assisted by Abigail: Both of the girls received clock radios for Christmas that are also CD players.
To date, they haven't used the radio on them. They have cd's...like Dan Zanes, and other "kid" music. In the car, I usually
play cd's...Enya, misc celtic music, Christian, etc. Needless to say, that means they really haven't been exposed to
contemporary music, let alone a radio. (I am not opposed to radio in general, I just don't turn it on when we're together, or often at all) This morning,
I walked toward their rooms to let them know breakfast was ready. First I walked into Hannah's room. Music was blaring and I
quickly recognized it as Classic Rock, from back in "my" day.
"What are you doing, honey?"
"It's RADIO, Mommy!!" and she laughed.
I walked into Abigail's room and the music was blasting in there, too. It reminded me of bubblegum pop from a few years ago.
I looked over at Abigail, and she was dancing around and all dressed up.
"What are you doing, honey?"
"It's RADIO!!!" Abigail laughed.
Obviously this was a team effort. Abigail was quite pleased that she had found a dial that you turn and you can find MUSIC.
It was all I could do not to bust out laughing as I casually went to get Frank, so he could see what was going on.
So now, my girls have discovered RADIO. I'm in trouble.
Saturday March 11, 2006
It was in the mid-seventies today, and the girls were outside all day. I spent a couple hours outside, myself.
Allowing myself to be still, I could feel the breeze against my face. It was a simple reminder that I am alive.
Thank you God, for your precious gift of life, and thank you for another day.
Friday March 10, 2006
After three long days, my stomach pain has lessened. It's still there, but not as severe. I look forward to seeing
Dr. Stefanini on Monday. Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 9, 2006
"We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday March 8, 2006
"I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday March 7, 2006
Plain grilled chicken on a wheat bun--and my stomach is inside out. These problems don't
make any sense, yet they are all too real. I am picking up my recent doctors reports and tests tomorrow,
and I've set up an appointment with Dr. Stefanini for Monday. I want his assurance that I am taking the
right steps to be well. I also spoke to another doctor who was referred to me and I will continue that conversation
with her next week. I know there is an answer. I just have to find it. Thank you God, for another day.
Monday March 6, 2006
Another flare-up with my stomach. There has to be an answer, and even though I haven't been on
the new medication for a full month yet, I will begin to consider other options. Thank you God,
for another day.
Sunday March 5, 2006
Hi Beav! I love you!
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday March 4, 2006
I had a flare-up with my stomach again Thursday night, and lasted through last night. When I
woke up this morning, it seemed to have passed. I expect that there will be times when this will happen,
and I still have hope that this new medication will work. I've been on it just over two weeks.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday March 3, 2006
"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance
and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence." Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday March 2, 2006
"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday March 1, 2006
Although we are certain to have snow in March (and sometimes a surprise in April), Spring is in
the air. The daffodils are about 2-3 inches high, and bits of yellow are peeking through in places.
By this time of the year, although I welcome a big snow, my thoughts start to move toward Spring.
Spring.....renewal.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: If you have children, you may know that sometimes the pediatrician gives tiny purple flouride pills to
them. My girls take them with their regular daily vitamin. I gave Hannah hers yesterday.
"Mommy, I need another purple vitamin"
"Where's the one I gave you?"
"I sneezed it out and I don't know where it went."
Tuesday February 28, 2006
"When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a
little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself." Thank you God, for another day.
Monday February 27, 2006
"Forgiveness is the economy of the heart.…forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the
waste of spirits." Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 26, 2006
Spaghetti and fresh pineapple for Puff at Ryan's. What a great combo! :)
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday February 25, 2006
"He who would make serious use of his life must always act as though he had a long time to live and
must schedule his time as though he were about to die." Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 24, 2006
It's been one year, Mom-maw.
I love you.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday February 23, 2006
"Never let life's hardships disturb you…no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 22, 2006
Today I had a couple moments where I realized suddenly that my stomach wasn't bothering me. What a wonderful realization...and
one that I don't have memory of experiencing in a very long time. They didn't last long, but nonetheless-- it is an improvement.
Thank you God,for another day.
Tuesday February 21, 2006
I have been diligently logging my food intake. It has been difficult to do it consistently in the past, but this time I
seem to have found a system that works. I've always felt that the whole thing was a "catch-22". Logging the food causes
me to focus even more on food--and with my stomach problems already, focusing even more is exactly what I do not want to
do. I accept that this is necessary, however. By logging everything I eat, I may possibly discover a pattern that triggers problems.
It also ensures I take in ENOUGH calories, fiber, etc.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday February 20, 2006
"For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else."
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 19, 2006
I'm slowly starting to tolerate the new medicine. The side effects have lessened considerably during
the day, but still are bothersome throughout the evening. Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: "Mommy, come down and see my sign, ok?"
I walk down the hall, to see her sitting in the doorway. There is a pad and pen in her hand and I see a piggy bank in front
of her on the floor. I look up and read the handwritten sign, taped to the door. "Outagraphs (sic) One Cent, Come get them"
Me: "Autographs, one cent, huh? I guess that's a good price."
Abigail: "I think it's fair." I went in the office and returned with a penny.
Abigail: "Put it in the bank, ok?" I placed the penny in the bank and was promptly handed an Abigail Johnson autograph.
Minutes later, she said "Mommy, there's a new sign up, come see."
This time....."Two Pennies for a pretty picture"
Somehow I think I am going to be broke before this is over!
Saturday February 18, 2006
Three days on the new med--and I'm looking forward to getting this week behind me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 17, 2006
"The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with
a sense of destination and the energy to get started." Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday February 16, 2006
I started the new meds last evening, and the side effects are what was predicted. If I can make it through them
seven days, my body will probably begin to tolerate it and then the next hope will be that it works for me.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 15, 2006
"When you cannot make up your mind between two evenly balanced courses of action, choose the bolder."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday February 14, 2006
"You were made perfectly to be loved-and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my life long."
Happy Valentines Day. I love you, Frank.
My sweet Abigail-- Applebee's fettucini rocks, huh?
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday February 13, 2006
My Dad took me to the doctor today, because this was an appointment I did not want to miss. I did see the gastroenterologist
and we spoke at length. He has given me a new medication to try, and one that I thought would be a good choice, after extensive reading.
The doctor was very pleased with the dietary changes I had made and believes I am doing everything that's within my own control
to manage the illness. I pray that this medication is my answer. I asked God to heal me, and I know He can--if it's in His time
and His will. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 12, 2006
More snow! This is the weather I have yearned for all winter! Thank you God,for another day.
Saturday February 11, 2006
We awoke to a beautiful snow. It's a wet snow and the trees branches are covered in glistening white. By nightfall, there
was seven inches on the ground. Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 10, 2006
"People only see what they are prepared to see."
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday February 9, 2006
"In whatever arena of life one may meet the challenge of courage, whatever may be the sacrifices he faces if he follows
his conscience--the loss of his friends, his fortune, his contentment, even the esteem of his fellow men- each man must decide
for himself the course he will follow." Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 8, 2006
"A man of humanity is one who, in seeking to establish himself, finds a foothold for others and who,
desiring attainment for himself, helps others to attain." Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday February 7, 2006
"The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live it." Thank you God,
for another day."
Monday February 6, 2006
I have tried to log my food and medications, to see if there is any trigger whatsoever to my stomach
pain. Right now, it is unpredictable. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday February 5, 2006
A week from tomorrow I have a follow-up with the gastroenterologist. If he doesn't supply me with
a reasonable explanation of what is going on, or a new medication, I will make to trip out of town to a
University Hospital. Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday February 4, 2006
"Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations. I may not reach them, but I can
look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead." Thank you God, for another day.
Friday February 3, 2006
"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: And sometimes, they are just more connected than you think...
"Mommy, today at school I fell out of the yellow chair and hit the green table with my head."
"Oh, baby, did it hurt?"
"Yeah."
"Did you cry?"
"No."
"It's okay to cry if you get hurt. Did your teacher hold you to make you feel better?"
"No. Jesus did."
That's my girl....
And as I finished writing this entry, I looked up to see my mesh waste basket on its side. Sable was inside it.
Hannah was getting ready to give it a roll and said
"All systems go!"
Thursday February 2, 2006
Daffodils are starting to show themselves, as they begin to peep from the earth. Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday February 1, 2006
"Choices are the hinges of destiny."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 31, 2006
"A little love and affection, in everything you do, will make the world a better place, with or without you."
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 30, 2006
A quick health update--I am one allergy shot away from completing "bottle three". It was at that last dose that I had another adverse reaction,
and had to start the entire bottle again. The twenty-five minute drive each way, three days per week, is tiring.
I am having another flare-up with my stomach, this time one of the worst so far. I believe there is a reasonable solution,
I just need to find the right doctor to work with. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 29, 2006
"Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level."
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 28, 2006
"A man must not always tell all, for that were folly: but what a man says should be what he thinks."
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday January 27, 2006
I've been in contact with Komen Charlotte, and soon we should be able to officially register for October's Race For
The Cure. We've got lots of fundraising plans, and I believe 2006 will be a great year.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday January 26, 2006
"What is slander? A verdict of 'guilty' pronounced in the absence of the accused, with closed doors, without defence
or appeal, by an interested and prejudiced judge."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday January 25, 2006
"I like to have a thing suggested rather than told in full. When every detail is given, the mind
rests satisfied, and the imagination loses the desire to use its own wings."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 24, 2006
If school is canceled or one of the girls misses school, I am unable to go to Curves. My January average is
only twice a week instead of three. This week looks like I'll be able to go three times, and the exercise, although it
will tire me, is also very good for me. Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 23, 2006
The fatigue seems to be getting worse, and I have to believe it is weather and fibromyalgia related. It would
be very easy for me to go to sleep each afternoon, but that's a habit I don't want to fall into.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 22, 2006
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours
together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard
and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream
truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every
decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love
you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given
me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who
are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day.
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 21, 2006
"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid
the wrong thing at the tempting moment." Thank you God, for another day.
Friday January 20, 2006
"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need
women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and
fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more
virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity." Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday January 19, 2006
"Nobody is stronger, nobody is weaker than someone who came back. There is nothing you can do to such a person because whatever you
could do is less than what has already been done to him. We have already paid the price." Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday January 18, 2006
And now we have snow~ to the point that school is closed!
Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: Abigail knows we have a list for groceries, and if we run out of something, we put it on
"the list". This morning, she was trying to get crushed ice from the refrigerator door. I could hear it running slow, so
I told her not to get more. (I figured the ice was getting stuck in the crusher)
She said "OK, Mommy, I'll put ice on the list"
And here I thought she KNEW the refrigerator makdes it!
Tuesday January 17, 2006
The rain is pounding tonight, and it feels wonderful to be inside. I love the rain.
Thank you God, for safe, warm shelter, and thank you for another day.
Hannah-ism: Penguins have been on Hannah's mind lately and the other day she said "You know, penguins don't have
knees, so they walk like this." and then she waddled through the living room.
Yesterday, she said to me "Mommy, penguins can't sit indian style"
Monday January 16, 2006
I have been experiencing some of the worst headaches I've had in a while. A couple of
them have actually put me in the bed. I do not know if this is related to the levels of allergen
I am taking in the shots or not. Although they are trying to get me back through "bottle 3" (I made it to the
last dose then had a severe reaction--so I had to start the whole bottle over), my dose today was not increased,
but held at the same as last week. Thank you God for another day.
Sunday January 15, 2006
Sometimes, ya' just gotta have fun.
GO PANTHERS!!!!
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 14, 2006
"Inside myself is a place where I live alone and that's where you renew your spring that never dries up."
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday January 13, 2006
"Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her. But once they are in hand, he or she alone
must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game." Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday January 12, 2006
Each decade of my life has brought different ideals, and opportunities for personal growth.
In my forties, I am happy to be in a place to make my own decisions, and choose who I wish
to encircle me. I am held prisoner to no one person or entity. Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday January 11, 2006
"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 10, 2006
We made a trip back to the pediatrician, and Hannah is on new meds. Hopefully she will be feeling better soon.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 9, 2006
By tonight, Hannah is coughing again, and sounds very bad. For a few years now, winter has been difficult for our family, and we spend
a great deal of time being sick. I'll call her pediatrician tomorrow morning. I do wonder at times if we
will discover that her immune system is compromised (like mine) because of the chemo she was exposed to during
pregnancy. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 8, 2006
"The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them."
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday January 7, 2006
Pop, how I wish you could have met my girls. I can see them climbing on your lap now.
I miss you.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday January 6, 2006
"The moment of enlightenment is when a person's dreams of possibilities become images of probabilities."
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Hannah and I were at WalMart and we needed cat litter.
As we made our way into the pet department, she said "There's the cat glitter, Mommy!"
Thursday January 5, 2006
"Today I will delete from my diary two days:
yesterday and tomorrow
Yesterday was to learn
and tomorrow will be the consequence
of what I can do today.
Today I will face life
with the conviction that this day
will not ever return.
Today is the last opportunity
I have to live intensely,
as no one can assure me
that I will see tomorrow's sunrise.
Today I will be brave enough
not to let any opportunity pass me by,
my only alternative is to succeed.
Today I will invest
my most valuable resource:my time,
in the most transcendental work:
my life;
I will spend each minute
passionately to make
of today a different
and unique day in my life.
Today I will defy every obstacle
that appears on my way trusting
I will succeed.
Today I will resist
pessimism and will conquer
the world with a smile,
with the positive attitude
of expecting always the best.
Today I will make of every ordinary task
a sublime expression,
Today I will have my feet on the ground
understanding reality
and the stars' gaze
to invent my future.
Today I will take the time to be happy
and will leave my footprints and my
presence in the hearts of others.
Today, I invite you to begin a new season
where we can dream
that everything we undertake is possible
and we fulfill it,
with joy and dignity.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday January 4, 2006
Today was my second reaction in a row to my allergy shots. It might be time for me to go on maintenance soon. I've made it
through three of the five vials and hope to get a few more doses in before they flag me. The headaches are lessening.
I used to wake with them every morning, but am down to three or four a week. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday January 3, 2006
The cumulative effect of several sleepless nights has set off increased problems with my fibromyalgia. Until now, the current
meds, along with exercise and some lifestyle changes has proven fairly effective for me. I need to readjust and try to get some
rest for a few days, to get back on track. Thank you God, for another day.
Monday January 2, 2006
After a pretty good week, another flare up with my stomach tonight. I see the gastroenterolgist next month. Until then,
I continue to be careful about what I eat and pray for the best. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday January 1, 2006
"...Two things stand like stone, kindness in another's troubles, and courage in ones own."
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Sometimes Hannah-ism's aren't funny, they're just innocent thoughts...
During her prayers before bed, she said "I wish Mom-maw could come down from Heaven and go to the big Church
(she means the adult building) with me and to Master Clubs (her Wednesday youth group) with me. I miss Mom-maw.
I hope she hasn't forgotten about us."
Saturday December 31, 2005
Free your heart from hatred.
Free your mind from worries.
Live simply.
Give more.
Expect less.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 30, 2005
"A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives."
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 29, 2005
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among stars."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 28, 2005
Michael is coming tomorrow for a couple days to celebrate our Christmas. I can't wait to see him!
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 27, 2005
Abigail is now showing every sign that she is catching the same illness as Hannah. Hannah seems to be getting better, but
Abigail is coughing more and more. I've put her on the prescription and cough medicine. I hope we have caught it in time.
The girls get this every winter, and seem to spend a lot of this season ill. I wish there was a way to keep them healthy during the winter months, but I can't think
of anything else I can do for them. Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 26, 2005
"The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as long as we live."
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 25, 2005
"I heard the bells on Christmas Day; their old familiar carols play, and wild and sweet the words repeat of peace on earth, good-will to men!"
Merry Christmas, Everyone. Let us be forever grateful for the TRUE meaning of Christmas--Christ was born, and would later
give His life, so that we could be saved. Thank you God, for the most wonderful gift, and thank you for another
day.
Saturday December 24, 2005
I miss you, Mom-maw.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday December 23, 2005
For months, I have been asking the doctors find some answer for stomach issues I am dealing with. The day I came off
of the supplemental medication I took for two weeks, a thought hit me, and it was suddenly very clear. I have asked, and prayed, that
the doctors find an answer. I have never just asked for healing. Why not ask God to take the problem away? That is my new prayer--that I can
remain on the one stomach medication I take, and be able to add a few more foods back into my diet, and not suffer. Thank you God,
for another day.
Thursday December 22, 2005
Hannah had to go to the doctor this morning. She has a viral respiratory infection and is now on prescription medication.
I had been giving her meds for about three days, but she really got worse over the course of last night. I pray she will be feeling
better by Saturday night--the poor little girl was sick last Christmas with a bad stomach virus.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 21, 2005
I began to suffer intolerable adverse side effects from the medication I was given two weeks ago for my stomach. After speaking with
my pharmacist and also the physician, I discontinued it on Monday. It will take a few more days for my body to rid
itself of the medicine and then I'll be making a return trip to the gastroenterologist next month.
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 20, 2005
"Circumstances are beyond human control, but our conduct is in our own power." Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 19, 2005
Tonight was MY night with Dad. Every year, just the two of us go out and eat, and shop for Mom. For me, it's really
just about the time I get to spend with him. Time with my father that, even at my age, I will not share with others.
Tonight I was reminded that my Dad is cut from the rarest of cloths. As we walked into a store, we passed the Salvation Army bell ringer.
It was bitter cold and she was shivering. In my mind I noticed, and would have spoken nicely and went on in the store, sad
that she was in the cold. My Dad isn't the kind of man to do that, though. He asked her if he could go buy her a coffee,
even offered her some food. She readily agreed, and he went in for pizza and a drink. That's my Dad. And if I could
be half the person he is, I'd be a better human being.
Thank you God, for giving me another year with my Dad, and thank you for another day.
Sunday December 18, 2005
We drove last night, and spent today at Frank's mother's home, to celebrate Christmas. Frank's brother Drew
was also there. The lit tree and snow everywhere...at last, it feels like Christmas. Thank you God, for another
day.
Saturday December 17, 2005
"An elegant sufficiency, content
Retirement, rural quiet, friendship, books."
Thank you God for another day.
Friday December 16, 2005
"I detest the man who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks forth another." (Homer, Ilead)
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 15, 2005
No school today. By afternoon, there was a lot of ice and everyone was asked to stay off of the roads.
I like days when I am forced to stay inside. Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 14, 2005
I had another reaction to an allergy shot, but not severe. I'm more than half way through now, and by January's end,
I should be able to cut back to one time per week, instead of three. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 13, 2005
More bad weather is in the forecast--this time ice will be the biggest problem. My shopping is done with
the exception of two items. Anything that needed to be mailed is gone. Now it's time to do the wrapping! Thank you God,
for another day.
Monday December 12, 2005
The girls have only a few school days left before their holiday break. Hannah has her Christmas program
Friday morning and is practicing her part daily. Santa's visit and a party follow the program. Abigail's school is
having a pajama and party day on Friday.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 11, 2005
Snow is falling and everything is white. The blanket of snow brings a sense of quiet and calm.
"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a
star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late." Thank you God,
for another day.
Saturday December 10, 2005
Christmas is just over two weeks away, and the girls are starting to get excited. Each night they glue a
cotton ball on Santa's beard, counting down the days...just as I did when I was a child. Thank you God,
for another day.
Friday December 9, 2005
"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own
happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years."
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 8, 2005
"I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters."
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday December 7, 2005
"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."
"One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday December 6, 2005
"Life would be a perpetual flea hunt if a man were obliged to run down all the innuendoes,
inveracities, and insinuations and misrepresentations which are uttered against him."
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday December 5, 2005
Today's follow-up provided me with little answers. Unfortunately, I met with the nurse practitioner instead of Dr. Hunter.
Apparently, that is their standard protocol for reviewing test results. The stomach polyps were removed and the tissue
was clear, which I already knew and am thankful for. My colon and stomach looked good. With no obvious problems seen, it
is difficult to make a diagnosis and a couple of possibilities now exist. (One of which is a chance that scar tissue has developed
outside my stomach, where the esophagus meets) I am starting a new med to control spasms in my stomach and intestines
that also is used to heal ulcers. This is an additional medication, not a substitute for any I am currently taking.
I'll try this for two weeks and if there is no real improvement, I will be called in to Dr. Hunter again. I will then
request testing to eliminate the possibility of scar tissue.
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday December 4, 2005
"Write your hurts in the sand, carve your blessings in stone." Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday December 3, 2005
Ten years ago today, I had my first date with Frank. We fell immediately in love and there was no question
in either of our minds that it was right. With all my heart and soul, I love you Frank.
Love Birds.
Two Souls. Two Hearts. Made as One by God.
Friends. Lovers. Soul Mates.
Intertwined together for the journey.
Joined in Spirit. Growing in Depth.
Honored by Heaven.
In One Another...Finding Delight.
With One another...Seeking the Highest Good.
For One Another...Laying Down Their Lives.
Pure in Devotion. Unmoved in Loyalty.
Bound by Trust. Led by Hope.
Committed to Truth. Wrapped in Grace.
Forever in Love.
Thank you God, for giving me the one man in the world I can give all of myself to, and thank you for
another day.
Friday December 2, 2005
Ten years ago today...my friend Drew suggested we go to see his brother. Two days before, I had made a drive from Pennsylvania
to Virginia to visit Drew. He and I never dated, but we were very close friends and always had so much fun when we were with
each other. Drew had just moved from Louisiana and was at last close enough that we could work out a visit. It had been a couple
of years since we had actually seen each other. Our friendship was maintained through phone calls. I had met his brother one
other time, but that was several years previous. His name was Frank...and on this visit, I can remember the exact moment our
eyes met and something changed. Little did I know at the time what was going to happen.
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday December 1, 2005
click image for more info
Men, women and children are dying, especially in the poorest of nations. Poverty that we
cannot begin to imagine. Pause to give thought.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 30, 2005
I was able to take another increased dose with the allergy shots today, and no ill effects. Thank you God,
for another day.
Tuesday November 29, 2005
I had a minor reaction to yesterday's allergy shot, something that hadn't happened since the week I first started taking them. By next week, I'll be
half way through this protocol. I'm still going three days a week, and will continue that probably through the end of
January. At that point, I'll be re-evaluated. Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 28, 2005
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed it's the only thing that ever has."
Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 27, 2005
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found
their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them
with compassion, gentleness, and deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 26, 2005
Emily Anne Roberts
November 4, 2005-November 23, 2005
Your body is now whole, sweet baby girl.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 25, 2005
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
Thank you God, for another day.
It's All Abigail: She comes to my doorway and with a deep little voice says "Hey, baby, how are ya?"
I don't recall what I said in response, but it ended with "Ab".
She said "My name's not Ab. It's Elvis. Elvis Presley."
"How do you know about Elvis Presley?"
"I'm seven ya know."
Thursday November 24, 2005
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thank you God, for the gift of salvation, for family, friends, and peace. Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 23, 2005
The snow is gently falling. With it comes a sense of peace and stillness. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 22, 2005
"No one can really pull you up very high — you lose your grip on the rope. But on your own two feet you can climb mountains."
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Hannah has a stuffy nose (as always in fall/winter). I told her she needed to blow her nose.
"Let me go get a hanker-sniff."
"Yes, honey, that would be a good idea."
Monday November 21, 2005
An enjoyable two days away, and even better to see the smiles again of two little girls. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 20, 2005
The weather has been mild and we are enjoying our time away. It's nice not to be pushed for time or be
faced with a long "to do" list. Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 19, 2005
At last, Frank and I get to take our weekend trip. A night spent at the movies and all is well.
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 18, 2005
People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
BE KIND ANYWAY.
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
BE HONEST ANYWAY.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
BE HAPPY ANYWAY.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
DO GOOD ANYWAY.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.
Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: "Mommy, can I have some gum?"
"Sure, get some from my purse"
She gets a piece and also hands a piece to me. "Thanks, honey" and I put it in my mouth.
** snickering ** "Mommy, that one, uh, sorta, uh, had some hair on it."
"Han! You stinker!"
Thursday November 17, 2005
Both biopsies came back clean. Thank the Lord. In the past four years, it sometimes seems the disease tries hard to
manifest itself throughout my body. With Gods hand, I am remaining cancer free.
And to Teri, my dear friend...congratulations. One year in remission! Thank you God, for another day.
Hannah-ism: Last night, Hannah was in her class at Church. The teacher had a picture of a pilgrim and an indian.
She asked Hannah if she knew who the person in the black and white was.
"Yes"
"Who?"
"A witch!"
oops....
Wednesday November 16, 2005
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." Thank
you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 15, 2005
"Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good.
So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers." And indeed, the flowers begin to bloom.
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 14, 2005
My colon looks fine and no new polyps were found. There were two polyps in my stomach, and those were biopsied.
I should have those results on Wednesday. Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 13, 2005
I've been on a liquid diet since after dinner Friday night. Today was the longest day, because of the extra prep required
for tomorrow's colonoscopy and scope for my stomach. I expect a positive report on my colon, and am eager to see if there
is an indication to the source of my stomach problems. Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 12, 2005
The 2006 Race For The Cure is already starting to feel "real"! By creating the new page and getting team member names published,
I am feeling invigorated. I am optimistic about our future together. Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 11, 2005
"Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 10, 2005
Please take a moment. Still yourself, quiet your mind, and view this.
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 9, 2005
"Any man can win when things go his way, it's the man who overcomes adversity that is the true champion."
Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 8, 2005
"Were the diver to think on the jaws of the shark, he would never lay hands on the precious pearl."
Thank you God, for another day.
Monday November 7, 2005
Abigail, you make me smile. click here to view Thank you God, for another day.
Sunday November 6, 2005
"Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed."
Thank you God, for another day.
Saturday November 5, 2005
How wonderful, the support from friends. What else matters, when encircled by their love and caring?
Thank you God, for another day.
Friday November 4, 2005
"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it,
picturesquely so they will remember it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light."
Thank you God, for another day.
Thursday November 3, 2005
A trip to storage for socks, that's true love. This one's for you, Frank. I love you!
Thank you God, for another day.
Wednesday November 2, 2005
The staff is still a bit hesitant with my allergy reaction, so today I received the same dose as Monday, the very lowest
available. Perhaps on Friday they can increase it a bit. The daily headaches continue and I am hoping the shots, in time,
will help. Thank you God, for another day.
Tuesday November 1, 2005
Yesterday a Curves opened in Tazewell. I've met the staff and am very pleased with the environment. Rather than
driving twenty five minutes to Bluefield each way, I will only have to drive about five minutes. I'm still doing a Curves work out three days
each week, and this new location will be perfect, especially with winter approaching. Thank you God, for another day.
